


Waiting for the End

by Aeacus



Series: WftE-Verse [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blow Jobs, Brainwashing, Car Accident, Emotional Turbulence, End Game Speculation, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Really freaking long story, Relationship Development, Sex, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2012-12-03
Packaged: 2017-11-20 04:10:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 100,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeacus/pseuds/Aeacus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a really long and fluffy Hammertime story that is set during game and in a hypothetical end game. It was written during the Aug '12 hiatus so I tried to keep canon up to that point. Dave is in love with his best friend, but will always put his best friend first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Okay, so this is going to be a long one. This was actually the first fanfic I started writing. The other ones sorta spawned as I was writing. I'm really happy how this one is turning out.  
> I do not own Homestuck plot or characters (I wish I did, that would be the coolest).  
> This is a long fluffy JohnDave story. The first five lines are actually from MSPA page 3302 (Jade: Deploy the cruxtruder in its place).  
> This was mostly written during the August hiatus and I promise to keep as close to canon up to that point. Beyond that, I do my own thing as I've speculated. Anyways, I will be rating this as mature even though I don't get to the mature stuff until way later, but there are still mature themes and language. Enough talk from me, story time.

[ TG ](http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003302) : i should probably text him soon   
TG: see whats up   
TG: because   
TG: i love him   
TT: I know.   


* * *

It was so easy to make the confession to Lalonde. She didn’t even bat an eye. She responded so quickly that it felt like she had that answer ready and was just waiting for my line before hitting the enter key. My hopes jumped so high. If she had no reservations about that statement, no sympathies, no attempts at dissuasion, then maybe it would work out. I think I might have actually smiled at those two purple words because she really did know.

I cared for the dork more than I should have cared for a guy that I’ve never seen before. Well never seen before in the flesh. Hastily taken webcam pictures don’t really count. I even still had the pointy anime shades back then. The aviators were totally closer in line to my own style. My first step from out of my bro’s shadow. Not that it wasn’t an awesome shadow but I want to cast my own. A shadow in my own style of cool and he helped me with that.

I knew we were still young and so I didn’t want to scare him away just yet with my confession of wanting a relationship with more than what a bromance usually entailed. But with the events going on thanks to the accursed game, I wanted somebody to know why I was playing. I was playing for him.

* * *

So puberty is an interesting thing. Especially when going through it on an asteroid hurtling through space with the only human companionship being my sister. Of course the trolls have proved to be spectacularly interesting. I’ve only met three of them as one is in hiding and the others apparently either killed each other or were killed off in a series of gruesome events that sends Vantas into fits when they are brought up. I’ve pieced it together with Pyrope’s and Maryam’s help. Though it amuses me that despite his verbal vomit of rage and disgust at the universe and everything in it, he didn’t actually kill anyone. I guess he’s all bark and no murderous intent. Plenty of bite though as my neck and shoulders can attest to. Kinda glad my god tier pajamas have a high collar on them.

As I said, puberty is interesting.

I’ve known my sexual orientation for a while now. Being raised by Bro exposed me to a variety of things that have probably compromised any sense of innocence that the game wasn’t going to strip away. I don’t blame him. Actually I’m not sure how I would have ended up without that early exposure. I came into this awkward state of teenager being very confident about who I am despite the onslaught of hormones that have turned me into a medieval rack victim and played havoc on my vocal chords. I would have a nice deep tenor if my voice wouldn’t keep cracking and spiking up into little girl mode. Hopefully it will settle out by the end of the three years that we will be travelling.

The hormones have been doing other delightful things to me as well. Such as random boner popping at the most inane thoughts and at the worst possible times. I abuse my god tier skills at these moments to pop away to some deserted niche, closet, or bedroom to get rid of it one way or another, and then to pop right back where I left without anyone the wiser. I’ve developed quite the mental palette for jerkoff material. A beautiful combination of blue eyes, buck teeth, yellow glares, and nubby horns. I have heartily embraced the concepts behind troll romance with some human edits. I don’t know how Vantas manages to accidentally stumble upon every little thing that pisses me off, but oh gog does it feels good to punch him in the face and then kiss his bloody lip until he finally shuts up and loses his words to moans. I know he feels the same as he uses a similar methods to stop my ramblings. Apparently it’s not the blackest romance in troll history but I don’t really give a flying fuck about that. We are both just stupid teenagers, I’m not even a troll, and it feels gog-damn terrific as it is. As a sweet bonus, I don’t even feel bad about having a kismesissitude with Vantas when I think of Egbert because it is nothing but red matespritship on that side.

I can’t wait to meet the dorkiest of dorks and ask him to be my matesprit. After I explain the whole damn concept to the derp.

* * *

When Vantas informed me of his interactions with Egbert though his awful trollian machinations, I was crushed. Okay, he didn’t quite inform me as I had to make a couple deductions from bits of information that he let slip over the three years of ranting and screaming and overheard sobbing. Egbert had rejected Vantas with the line “i’m not a homosexual.” Vantas was rejected over a concept that the troll didn’t understand despite many patient explanations and anatomy lessons. Even if Egbert hadn’t quite understood the concept that aliens have an entirely different romantic structure and equally confusing anatomy to go along with it, he still rejected the advance in terms that shook both my kismesis and myself. I mean, I am a better kismesis for Vantas than Egbert could ever be, but he didn’t understand the concept of hateful romance at that point. He denied the overall concept of romance with Vantas because of gender.

Welp, there went all of my chances. All of those hopes and dreams that I had going, dashed upon the shores of pesterchum and trollian by just a handful of blue words. Eventually I was planning on soliciting him for actual red romance (in human terms, the chance for love) in the hopes he might be open to the suggestion with maybe only a little convincing. But if he was using that statement as an excuse to avoid a relationship with a species whose biology renders the point moot, then what chance do I have as I embody the very antithesis of his statement.

This game just finds better ways at screwing me over doesn’t it. I get to meet with the doofus in a couple hours apparently, right before we invade the new session that may or may not have the four of us as guardians but will definitely have a younger version of my bro as a player. I’ll get to meet up with my unrequited love, a girl who last saw (and kissed) me when I was dead, and a feathered time-splintered version of myself right before we begin to tackle the fantastic challenge of beating an invincible being who puts my awesome time skills to utter complete shame and has already caused the end of two universes.

I’d go kill myself if I hadn’t already died so many fucking times. There’s no way to know if it would stick or not.


	2. Chapter 2

I didn’t know it would hurt like this.

I mean, I knew it was coming. I had psyched myself out already. I thought I had smothered my heart into silence six feet under and lock boxed into a pit of fire.

It shouldn’t hurt this much.

The golden ship appeared in space next to our asteroid. Harley did her space thingy and brought its passengers to where we were waiting on the roof. A flash of light was all the warning I got before my fucking heart lurched to life like some zombie resurrection of a Marvel superhero brought back into the universe under some convoluted plot scheme that resulted in the revelation that he wasn’t quite dead yet. While my heart decided to come back to life, I am pretty sure my breathing stopped at the sight of beautiful sky ocean royal deep beautiful blue eyes behind those square black frames. The dark mop of longish unruly hair caught me a little by surprise too but it probably shouldn’t have given he was travelling with Jungle Jade who probably hasn’t cut her hair since Grandpa Harley died. He seemed to have grown into his buck teeth that weren't so prominent as they were in the traded internet pictures so long ago. He also grew up. He was almost eye level with me, which is a feat given my beanpole growth pattern. But instead of being a skinny fuck like myself, he had width. Wide shoulders and gorgeous arms that were obviously now built for throwing his hammerkind weapons around with ease. His god tier outfit did nothing to hide the mangrit that basically oozed from him.

Thankfully I was in such shock that I didn’t have to put much effort into maintaining the smooth poker face I was known for. Internally I was in such pain because I knew this beautiful man couldn’t wouldn’t be mine despite how much I wanted craved needed him. Oh fuck me. Externally I barely twitched and I could easily shrug that off as a reaction to Harley’s retina burning display of witchy power. I took the moment that everyone’s shock (including mine dammit) allotted to compose myself as much as I could. I remembered how to breath and stabbed that traitorous heart of mine again, telling it to shut up, sit down, and behave itself because nothing was ever going to happen.

I managed to tear my hidden gaze away from the blue-eyed heir and checked out Harley’s new duds (totally rocking the lolita-cross-wizard-of-oz theme) and checked up on my other creamsicled self who was interestingly floating almost protectively over the witch’s shoulder. The other two sprites also floated nearby; a tentacled princess cat and a crazy grandmother jester holding a fairly large cake.

We all just sort of stared at each other as we took the other party in. It’s been three long tortuous years sustained by only fleeting moments and glimpses between us. And it’s the ship’s crew’s first time meeting the trolls in the flesh. Unsurprisingly it is the derp siblings who launch into motion first, half dashing half zooming across the gap with giggles and booming laughs and bright blinding smiles. Suddenly I had an armful of black dress, black hair, and green eyes. Instinctively I wrap my long gangly limbs around her and squeeze her back. I can’t hope to match the vice grip she has on me though; she must have been training with Egbert as he got his herculean stature. I hear a giggled “you’re not dead, oh gosh it’s good to hold you when you aren’t dying” and I catch the faint scent of dog as her head tucks itself under mine. Three years ago, we were eye level but now I’m a good head taller. I only get a moment to contemplate that before I feel something twitching against my cheek. I pull her back to figure it out and see two ears sitting on top of her head.

“Shit Harley, you went furry on us. Are those real?”

“Of course silly! My sprite was prototyped with Bec first, then my dream self so she had ears then when I died and went god tier, I merged with them and got the ears. Go ahead and touch them, they are super soft.”

I arched an eyebrow over the rims of my glasses but complied and reached a hand up to stroke an ear. My fingers were greeted with the softest sensation I have ever felt. I curled my fingers a little and scratched at the base. Harley leaned into it with a contented sigh. I smiled softly. “It’s good to see you again, Jade. I’d like to formally introduce you to the trolls.” I turned away from her and to the awkward group of gray skinned aliens. “The tall and elegant lady is Kanaya Maryam. The maniacally grinning blind one is Terezi Pyrope. She will lick you. And short and stubby here is our sweet little Karkat Vantas.” I grinned as I could practically see the steam rising from my kismesis’ head at his introduction. But his loaded reply was cut off as Harley tackled him in a fairly vicious hug. I could hear the air that he had sucked in for his next diatribe get violently expelled from his lungs. I snickered for a second before I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Blue.

I calmly took a deep breath and turned to face him. Of course he was already grinning ridiculously and of course my heart decided that it was the best thing ever. Thank Bro for his rigorous poker face training because I managed to keep my reaction down to a subtle smirk. The rest of the pain and love and anxiousness and other gross squishy feelings were trapped and tucked carefully behind the aviator glasses. Pyrope was probably having a field day with the scents and tastes coming off of me in waves, but thankfully she kept her trap shut for once. I raised a closed fist for a bump in coolest bro fashion, but of course Egbert could not be cool. I think it is physically impossible for him to be cool. I think that he would surpass LE in universal destruction if he actually ever achieved coolness.

Instead of a nice safe fist bump, he ignored the proffered appendage and stepped inside my personal space with arms wide open. One arm went under my raised one and the other went over my shoulder in a strangely comfortable cross hug. To which my heart decided to change its mind and claim that Egbert hugs were the best thing ever. It was completely different from hugging Harley. That height difference had her tucked up inside my lanky frame where Egbert basically engulfed me with his. My chin cleared his shoulder with ease but his brushed against mine setting it on fire. Anywhere his body contacted mine was set on fire. I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around him in an opposite cross in order to get more of that heat. It felt so good and hurt so much at the same time. I could feel my defenses breaking, the rush of emotions and hormones breaking down the bulwarks I had tried to make impregnable. Thank god the sunglasses hid most of my face and I could mostly hide the rest in his wild mess of hair.

He smelled like cake even though he despised the stuff. Probably an influence from the floating light blue woman. He felt so solid. All of my fantasies suddenly got a lot better as they updated themselves in the library of my brain, replacing a scrawny little kid with this Adonis in my arms. Yep, there goes the boner. Thankfully I had prepared for this and packed it away in my tightest boxer briefs I could find under my loosest pants so that only someone pressed up close against me would know of its existence. Someone pressed up like Egbert. Gog damn it. This was why the fist bump was so much safer. But before I could extract myself, he was releasing me from his wonderful painful embrace and stepping back an arm’s length as if to get a good look at me. Oh gog oh gog oh gog did he feel it? Was he horrified that I got a boner while hugging him? Less than five minutes in and I’d already fucked it all up. Fucked up beyond the popularity of smuppet porn fucked up. Fucked up beyond the game’s level of fuckery. Oh gog he’s going to hate me. I should have just cut off my dick before it had a chance to sabotage me so horribly.

I looked at him expecting the worse, but there was this strange expression on his face. I’d like to say it might be a cross between a scowl and a smile but honestly as long as it wasn’t utter disgust, I was doing better than expected.

“Dave.” My name sounded so good in his deep rumbly voice. He’s got the bass that Bro had. “Dave, it’s our first time meeting and you thought a fist bump was going to be enough. Try using your brain, numbskull.”

Relief swamped me. I actually slumped just a little. Not noticeable by anyone except maybe Lalonde but that’s only because she’s a fucking seer. Inside my head I was screaming and jumping for joy that no, I didn’t fuck it up, I am not a total and complete loser.

“I have to maintain the image of the cool kid, ya know. I knew that you would ignore that and just straight to the mushy stuff. So I defend my honor and title while still getting the derp hug of the century.” How was my voice so calm and smooth? It wasn't even doing its usual bullshit cracking that it typically loves to provide at awkward times.

“Still pulling the cool kid act? You are such a dork!” His face lit up again with that breathtaking smile. Honestly, I stopped breathing when I see it. I heard a squeal in the background and caught the sight at the long haired brunette scooped up my blonde sister in a rib crushing hug. My brain was simultaneously trying to pay attention to the other pair of humans, the three trolls, and the three sprites while trying to memorize everything about the guy in front of me.

“Whatever. I’ll assume that you’ve said hi to Lalonde. She was kinda worried about leaving you with her corpse but I can see that you have survived whatever mental scarring it could have produced.”

“Yea, it was nice seeing her again, alive.”

“Well then, I guess it is up to me to introduce the trolls again. The glowing one is rainbow drinker Kanaya. Basically a reverse vampire. Though the blood sucking is still the same. Kanaya, this is Egbert.”

“It is very nice to finally meet you, Heir of Breath.”

“So cool,” Egbert murmurs in awe. “Oh yea, nice to meet ya too!”

“The law obsessed one is Terezi. She’s cool. Or at least as cool as you can be while slobbering over everything in order to see.”

“Hi Terezi! Thanks for not killing me in this timeline.”

“You’re welcome, Mister Blueberry!” Terezi replied with a cackle.

“And of course our favorite angry little midget, Karkat. Who seems to still be recovering from Harley’s greeting. You okay there, Karkles?”

“Of course I’m fucking okay, you nooksniffing shitstain. She just fucking caught me off guard. And you don’t need to introduce me to this dumbshit. I’ve watched him for the majority of his pathetic mind numbingly boring excuse for a life.”

“Wow stalkerish much? I didn’t know you were into voyeurism, you kinky bastard.”

“Shut your flapping wind hole, fucker.”

“No but seriously you have spent all this time on this fucking asteroid watching this kid and now you haven’t even said a single word to the guy. I mean I know I am irresistibly handsome and all but after three years of not being able to stare at those blue eyes on screen I thought you’d be all over him now that he is here in the flesh where you can drool on him directly.”

“Gross!” Egbert scrunched his face up in disgust at the thought of Vantas slobbering all over him. That mental picture even had me smirking.


	3. Chapter 3

The next couple days were both awesome and painful. Everyone was moved over to the meteor and the ship sent into oblivion because the meteor had more room for everyone. The derps and sprites actually got along with the trolls very well. Davesprite and I caught up with a few brief words. Egbert on the other hand couldn’t stop talking with me about his entire life. I felt I knew more about him than Vantas learned from his creepy voyeuristic trollian scoping. And from what I heard, Egbert’s life was far from boring. I might be a little biased though. I treat every word that comes out of his mouth like gold, enjoying the ability to hear his actual voice instead of having to guess what was on the other side of blue text. His smiles are gorgeous and contagious. His laughs are dorky and full of sunshine. His pranks are actually funny and clever. I could wax poetic for this kid. In fact, I think I just did.

But I have to keep it all locked down and pretend to play the platonic best friend. I smirk and snicker from behind the dark aviators. I keep physical contact to a minimum because I don’t know if I would be able to control myself. I definitely don’t instigate anything. I play up the cool kid role because to do anything else would be too dangerous. If these feelings start slipping and the wrong thing slips out, then this happy little family scenario would crumble. I’m not going to let that happen.

* * *

So the cock sucking bastard figured it out and decided to test his theories on me. I am one lucky son of a bitch that Egbert is absolutely oblivious, that he was on the other side of the room, and that the scum of the universe decided to keep his voice quiet for once in his lifetime. None of that stopped my fist from making near instantaneous contact with Vantas’ face. A woman scorned hath no fury like mine.

I knocked him out of his chair and into the next couple. I didn't give him a chance to recover before I leapt onto him with my knees pinning down his arms, one hand at his collar, and the other already pulled back for another blow. He didn't even get a breath to scream before I pummeled his nose jaw eyes face. Not that I would have heard him over my growling and cussing and that beautiful sound of my knuckles connecting with his skull.

Maryam and Pyrope were accustomed to the fairly vicious relationship so after locating the source of the noise, they politely turned back around. Little did they know that the current strife had no romance behind it. It might have have been the blackest of black and definitely dangerous. Lalonde and Harley were up top piloting his hunk of rock the last little bit now that we have the space cadet finally on board. The sprites were off elsewhere doing spritely shit, I guess. Davesprite and I have diverged too much to accurately know his intentions anymore. So the only ones left to freak out were Vantas (who was too busy being made into bloody red jelly) and Egbert. Honestly I didn’t care about any of that. There was neither awareness nor concern beyond my burning hate for the troll at my hands.

It wasn’t until something caught my elbow as I had pulled my arm back yet again that I turned. The harsh snarl at the interruptions died in my throat at the expression held in deep beautiful blue eyes. Confusion, hurt, and fear do not belong anywhere in the vicinity of John’s face. His grip was tight on my arm with all of that hammer-born strength restraining any movement. My elbow burned under his touch.

“Fuck.” I dropped Vantas who fell back with a thump. I stood quickly which made Egbert drop his hold and as soon as I was free, I did my time-aided flash step and absconded the fuck out of there.

I didn’t stop running until I got lost somewhere in the bowels of this godforsaken laboratory. I was so far off the beaten path that I wouldn’t be surprised if I ran into the fucking murder clown. Then maybe he could put me out of my fucking misery. I found a small space tucking in between two computer banks and pulled my legs up to my chest. My heart was pounding and my breath labored. I hated myself. I could not just do something small stupidly. No. I had to fuck up in the most major way possible. Egbert wouldn’t understand the kismesissitude I had with Vantas, he doesn’t even know I am gay yet, and then I’d have to explain why that wasn’t a normal display of black rom. If Karkat doesn’t while I’m hiding like a bitch down here in the dark.

_“You know he won’t want to be your matesprit.”_

Those words stung and made me see black until I thought of blue and then all of the anger drained out of me in a second and all that was left was utter hopelessness. I had ruined everything. Any chance I had with John. I looked at my hands and saw the red flecks of Karkat’s blood. Probably ruined any further relationship with Vantas as well. I was tempted for a second to go back and do it again but that sort of frivolous use of time power was probably frowned upon and I would still know what had happened. No, it was better to face the consequences like a man and save doomed Daves for something important.

I don’t know how long I stayed down there, wallowing in self hate and mourning last chances I probably didn’t have to begin with, before I heard footsteps. Well, actually I knew exactly how long because I’m a fucking Hero of Time, but I decided to ignore the ticking echoing in my subconscious. I scrunched up tighter into my crevice and held my breath.

“Dave? Dave, I know you are down here. Well, I’m pretty sure. I followed the directions as best as I could. Dave, I just want to talk to you.” John. Of course they would send him. One of the seers probably betrayed me and told him where I was. Fuck them. Fuck them both. “Daaaaaaaave!”

I sighed and let my head drop back in defeat. It banged against the wall loudly causing me to jump and Egbert to pause. Seconds later he was peering down into my shadows. Without a word he dropped to his knees and pulled me into an awkward hug. It was actually kinda comforting but also equal parts confusing. After a moment he released me and sat back. His hands came to rest on top of my knees. I flinched at the smeared red stains on his hands.

“He’s okay.” My eyes snap up to his face. Of course all he saw as a slight tilt of my head because of my glasses, but I think he understood. “Karkat’s okay. Trolls are tougher than us fleshy humans as he likes to tell me often enough. Kanaya and I patched him up.”

Not trusting my voice, I simply nodded. But just as I was thinking that I was glad I could hide behind my sunglasses, his hands reached up and gently lifted them off my face. I was too stunned to react any other way but to close my eyes to hide them. He didn’t have to know how much of a freak I am at once.

“He sorta explained the situation to me.”

My eyes snapped open, abandoning all protection against their mutant color and flood of emotion. He didn’t react. Maybe the shadows hid them and made them look brown. His eyes still shone blue, almost glowing even in the dim light of the lab.

“Well, he didn’t, Kanaya did. He tried, but you messed up his jaw pretty good. So Kanaya explained about kismesissitude and how it’s a hate romance and that you and Karkat are hate buddies that antagonize each other to blows and then somehow that ends up with kisses and more. She was kind of vague on the more end there. She explained that it’s one of the four quadrants that the trolls have. She mentioned but didn’t go into matespritship, moirallegiance, and auspisticism. Karkat interrupted to tell me that he fucked up.”

I stopped breathing again. He fucked up? Karkat fucked up? I was the one who fucked up his face over a simple truth. Did Karkat tell John what he said?

“He wouldn’t tell me what happened beyond that he fucked up and it was his fault. And he told me to find you. Dave, are you okay?”

No. No, I am not okay. I am so far from OK that I am on the polar opposite side of the globe from Oklahoma. I'm so far from okay, I'm Australian, mate. But I was so broken and whiplashed that I couldn't even shake my head. I'm sure he read how bad off I was through my exposed expression so he didn't need an answer. Instead he simply pulled me into another awkward hug for a moment. Apparently it was too awkward even for him because next thing I knew he was hauling me to my feet and pulling me into a better embrace. I wouldn't have been surprised if I had a reaction of the embarrassing kind just to spite the mind boggling reversal of the situation, but apparently said boggled mind was still too scrambled to let even hormones affect this moment.

"You don't have to tell me what what set you off, but I am getting the feeling that even though kismesises fight, that was a little beyond the norm. Karkat actually looked really apologetic and wasn't even yelling like usual. He was actually kinda concerned about you. We all are. I am."

I took a deep shuddering breath and tried to get my scattered mind in line but all of my thoughts were flitting off in every direction. I grabbed onto the first one that came to mind and blurted it out.

"I'm gay."

I feared for my sanity. If he reacted badly to that embarrassing utterance then I might actually do a fucking pirouette off the meteor into space. I might survive the fact that he'll never feel the same way back for me, but I couldn't stand it if he was no longer my friend.

"I sorta picked that up, Dave. I mean, you kiss Karkat, right? And Jade said the only time you guys kissed was when you were dead despite all that time you spent of LOFAF. And the troll girls said that you were nothing but pale with them. Plus with all the hints that Davesprite dropped over the past three years, I'd be surprised if you weren't."

"So... you are okay with that?" I put all of my effort into getting that sentence to come out steady. It might have worked. Not sure because my ears were buzzing along with the rest of my senses.

"Of course. You are my best friend and I'd support you no matter who you liked, human or troll." I clung to him tighter in relief. He wasn't going to hate me.

"But you know that it really doesn't matter with trolls though. They don't have the same gender bias stuff like we do." Yea, great going brain. Let’s just jump right into another awkward topic.

"They don't?"

"Nah. Don't even have the same equipment arrangement.” Oh jegus, why couldn’t I shut up. “They sorta have the equivalents of both girl and guy junk downstairs. Vantas is actually more a nook guy that he likes to admit." Okay, I was talking about troll genitallia while hugging my bestfriend and unrequited love only a couple moments after thinking my world was over and then hearing that Vantas believed he had screwed up. I don't think the moment could have gotten any weirder.

"Huh, that actually explains a little. Karkat was really confused when I turned him down. But I don't think I would have been a good kismesis anyways."

"That’s because you don't have the ability to hate anyone, Egbert."

"Yes I do!"

"No, you honestly don't. But it's okay, dude. I- we wouldn't want you to be any other way."

"I could hate someone...” I actually heard the pout in his voice “but that's actually really sweet, Dave. Thanks." It was his turn to hug a little tighter. “So what exactly happened upstairs?” I froze up again. I think John felt it, because he started to rub my back comfortingly. “You don’t have to explain all of it, but I want to make sure you are okay.”

I was very glad that we were still hugging and that he couldn’t see my eyes and that I couldn’t see his because if I saw the concern that I heard in his voice, I might have spilt everything then and there and that was definitely not going to help the situation.

“Yea, you’re right about it not being a normal kismesissitude reaction. Vantas has a natural talent of finding things that piss me off. I mean, he’s found things that I didn’t even know pissed me off until he brought them up. But he found something that set me off. Typically we stay around the f-bomb rating but this would have been rated a-bomb like Hiroshima sized explosion in my brain. I guess I kinda just reacted. So that spectacle is mostly my fault actually.”

“Wow it must have really gotten to you. You ignored me when I was calling your name to stop hitting him.”

“I didn’t even hear you. I probably would have killed him if you hadn’t stopped me though.”

Silence fell at the heavy confession. Egbert’s hands hadn’t stopped rubbing my back which was comforting. He hadn’t rejected me yet. I still had plenty of ammunition to go ahead and cause that though. I hate talking about feelings because they always threaten to all come crashing out at once. I can usually hide behind sarcasm, convoluted metaphors, poker faces, and eye covering aviators. But it’s so hard to hide from John because I don’t want to. I want to bear myself to him, to rip my chest open and show him my bleeding heart that beats for him, to let my walls down for him.

Now was not the right time. Not when the game was still going on. We might have had a three year hiatus with only a handful of hijinks to remind us that we were still playing but there was still another chapter to this saga. I wouldn’t burden him with my heart.

“Thanks, John. I’m okay now.” He pulled back and held me at arms length to check my face like it’s some lie detector. Well I guess it’s true when my shades were off.

“They are so pretty.”

“Huh?” That statement didn’t follow any train of thought except... shades off... my eyes. Shit. I clenched my eyes tightly shut.

“No, don’t do that! I like your eyes, Dave. I thought they were brown but the red is so much cooler and so much more you.”

I crack them open and catch sight of his derpy smiling mug. That smile will be my undoing. “Whatever you say, Egbert.”


	4. Chapter 4

I managed to convince everyone that I wouldn’t finish that murderous rage that put him into the makeshift infirmary if they left me alone with him. I explained that I needed to talk about what happened and that I needed to keep it between the two of us. They were assured when I entered the cramped room and Vantas didn’t react badly. He didn’t flinch or scramble away. He just started spewing his usual vulgar insults at me at his normal ear bursting volume. Nursemaid Maryam finally acknowledged my request and gracefully stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her. I waited until Vantas had paused for breath before reaching out, grabbing his hand, and locking time down around us. The only things not frozen were the two of us and a roomful of air. Vantas shuddered at the feeling of gears grinding to a halt. Incorporating others into time mechanics was always tricky and definitely not as smooth as just doing it myself.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Vantas asked levelly.

“Ensuring our privacy.” I let go of his hand and grabbed the chair. I spun it around backwards and settled heavily with my arms crossed over the top of the back. “It’s not that I don’t trust them, it’s more that I need a guarantee that not a whisper of this gets out and back to him.”

Vantas’ eyebrows scrunched together over his glare, but he nodded in understanding.

“First thing. I’m sorry,” I simply stated. Vantas’ jaw dropped open and I took his moment of speechlessness to continue. “I flipped my shit into a realm that was so inappropriate that I don’t know how to fully apologize for it. I shouldn’t have reacted like that no matter how much you piss me off. I probably would have killed you if Egbert hadn’t stopped me, despite your hard head. I don’t know what came over me.”

“I do,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I can barely think it about myself. I would have probably reacted similarly if someone had said it to me, even if it was Kanaya or Gamzee.”

I looked hard at him. Did he just admit to having red feelings for John too?

“So why did you say it?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged.

“Bullshit.”

“Seriously. I don’t have the fucking reasons. Either you knocked that much sense out of me or it was a simple impulse. I had just figured out that your best bros act was just an act, for you at least. That as much as you wanted to keep it pale, you are burning bright red for him, but he doesn’t feel the same. I guess I wanted to let you know that I understood. I think it’s actually kinda hard not to fall into pity for him.”

“I don’t pity him.”So Vantas was flushing red for him.

“Don’t fucking lie to me. My bruised and nearly broken face can attest to that.” The scowl made him flinch as it stretched the hurt skin.

“No, I don’t pity him. I love him,” I corrected. “It’s part of human romance. Yea, I find the derp terribly pitiful sometimes, but it’s more than that. I admire his strength, his resolve, his determination, his want to do everything right, his dreams to save everyone, his optimism in the face of all of the stacked odds. I want to protect him from any harm. I want to protect his smiles and laughs from anything that might take that away, but at the same time I want him to grow and expand and become the best he can be despite the dangers. I can’t just hide him away in a gilded, padded cage. I have to let him go out and get hurt and get over it and get better. I want to be by his side all the time so that I can catch his smiles and catch him when he falls. I want to have romantic dinners and take him to see his terrible cheesy movies. I want to go on adventures and show him the cool stuff of the world. I want to be a part of him and him to be a part of me.” I trailed off as water that couldn’t possibly be tears filled my eyes, blurring whatever was on the other side of my shades. Gog, I am such a sap.

“I understand, actually.” After I blinked a couple of times in order to clear my eyes, I see Karkat’s thoughtfully sad expression. He looks like such a little kid sometimes. If he wasn’t so obnoxious most of the time, I’d pity him. “And John needs that over the troll kind of pity. John needs more than my pity. Matespritship doesn’t quite cover what John deserves. But as much as you love him,” Karkat paused, considering his next words. I could see him steel himself against any possible blows that I might throw his way, “he doesn’t love you back.”

“I know.”

* * *

Things went back to normal after that. Well as normal as they got in the game, sitting on an meteor with aliens, ghosts, and alternate selves. Except Vantas and I didn’t hate snog as often and definitely not in public. We still hate flirted with each other to get the new guys used to it and to convince Lalonde and the other trolls that we were alright. There were nights though that Karkat ended up holding me as I broke down after a particularly painful day. He’d set aside the kismesissitude for a moment and let me empty the dam of repressed feelings and sensations into his shirt. I think that it’s part of that Hero of Blood thing. Then he’d drag me out of my funk with some particularly steamy hate-sex. That troll is particularly clever with rope.

* * *

There was a month in total between when everyone met up and when we broached the new universe. In that time, we trained with each other to improve our fighting skills and game given abilities.

The trolls are definitely the physical powerhouses and weapons masters as they were raised in a brutal society where even as children, they fought and killed dangerous creatures or even other children on a daily basis. They strifed even more than I did against Bro. Vantas and Maryam will be the foot soldiers, but Pyrope shouldn’t be discounted. Makara would also be a powerful ally if he ever resurfaced. I think even at that point Vantas didn’t know where is psychotic moirail is.

The humans have the skills blessed upon us by our deaths on our quest beds. Lalonde will be our tactician while Egbert and Harley are the magical bazookas. My job is to keep everyone alive by scratching my death over and over on my turntables. We were as ready as we could be for the next level of the game.


	5. Chapter 5

They have been playing for a year already when we meet them. Our ages have synced up so everyone is 16. Egbert and Crocker are both the youngest as they arrived via meteor in April while the rest of us are December babies. The Alpha kids are interesting. They were our guardians in our universe as other versions of us were their guardians. Both sets of guardians are confirmed to be dead (Nannasprite being the exception, but technically she was dead at one point so it’s not really an exception, is it?). Harley and English get along superbly, but that is unsurprising as they were somehow actually communicating even before either session started. Jake English embodies all of the crazy ass stories that I’ve disbelieved from Harley over the years of pesterchum chats about her Grandpa. I no longer disbelieve.

Jane Crocker is an interesting character as well. She’s like the same but different from Egbert. Both are the most normal out of all the kids, but she seems to be a bit more practical and level headed than Egbert, even going as far as resolving the conflict with her version of Dad. She also somehow managed to find Makara who somehow got god tiered and ended up in their session. No one knows how, nor does anyone really want to find out. Even Lalonde is keeping her eyes shut to that mystery.

The other Lalonde, Roxy, is actually kind of awesome. She is as much of a lush as Rose made her mother out to be, but she is a very skilled hacker, a excellent marksman, a brilliant brawler, and has the wit to match any Strider. Which brings us to the fourth Alpha kid, Dirk.

He’s Bro but he’s not Bro. It’s close enough that I get weird deja vus around him but then he does something radically different and the spell is broken. He doesn’t have the bulk in the shoulders that I guess will come with age. He doesn’t wear or collect hats except the one on his shirt. He still has the spiky anime glasses but apparently his has a fully realized computer self inside. My Bro might have had that as well actually, but I wouldn’t have known. He loves his katanas, puppets, and horses, though Lil’Cal was apparently lost at the beginning of their session. He raps and strifes but had to do it with robots instead of my guardian self. But what I’ve seen of the robots impresses me to no end. They are fucking cool.

His personality is mostly intact. He’s very into improving people just as Bro strifed and messed with me on a daily basis to work on my skills, Dirk built and sent robots out to protect and train his friends. He’s only a little awkward in the personal communication department but to me he’s doing pretty damn fine for a guy who had no human contact for 15 years. His speech is a little stilted and clipped unless he’s rapping. But when you get him digital, he’s as much of a whiz as Roxy, except better since you don’t have to translate drunken slurs every other word.

He’s considered the leader and tactician of the group by being the Prince of Heart. The title sounded silly at first until he told me it loosely translates to Destroyer of Souls. But honestly I feel like Prince of Heart actually suits him. He is strong and stoic in that position which reminds me of Bro a lot, but then he goes and smiles at something and the illusion is ruined and I remember he isn’t my Bro, he’s Dirk.

He tried to call me Bro once, but I quickly fixed him of that notion. Our respective Bros died and that’s the end of discussion.

The Alpha kids were waiting for us, the Beta kids and tag along trolls and sprites. They got to climb their echeladders and even reached god tier through normal channels instead of our ass backwards universe destroying method.

We are ready to face whatever the game throws at us.

* * *

I've died so many times for him. I mean, not alpha me but doomed versions. And each time it's apparently heroic because being a god tiered son of a bitch means you can’t die unless it’s heroic or just even for the doomed. I don’t think these deaths count as just. I might actually be jealous of the doomed. Each time he is in danger I have to make a conscious decision not to save him and I have to hope that another timeline will swoop back and do it for me. I don’t want to risk him dying because what if the fucking game decides that his death was considered heroic or just. I mean look at its criteria when it killed off Serket. But I can’t save him. I can’t be his hero. I have to choose. And it’s killing me.

* * *

The sprites are gone. It was gorgeous and tragic. They saved us all. They latched onto the enemy and disrupted the attack. They then started glowing to the point we couldn’t look at them anymore. I think I heard Davesprite say _later_ to me, but I can’t be sure. I wish I could be sure because then there was so much color and light and when we could see again, the sprites were gone and the enemy had been dealt a huge amount of damage. We all attacked with righteous fury to avenge our fallen friends and to take the advantage that their deaths provided.

* * *

We beat it.

I don’t know how.

Honestly, I don’t care at this point.

Someone will probably try to explain it later but right now it sums up as we glitched the game and found a way to defeat all three bosses. Bec Blanc helped a great deal again Bec Noir. The Alpha kids had already been gunning for the Batterwitch/Condesce/Troll Empress. But taking out Lord English was...

I don’t think a concept exists to accurately describe what happened there.

Doesn’t matter though. We survive. Fuck it all, we survived. And fucking won.

I’m think we are all going to sleep for a fucking week or two and when we hit consciousness again, we’ll explore where we ended up.


	6. Chapter 6

So this universe that we created seems to be a blend between Alternia and Earth. While we were all passed out, the eight missing trolls found us and took us in to let us recover after that final fight. Apparently all of the players get brought back. Not the guardians though. I guess that would be kind of awkward. The guardians of the derp quartet were already dead before the game. Getting Bro back would be nice but Dirk is already here and his Bro would have been another version of me and I am kinda sick of other versions of me. It would be a similar deal for the Lalondes. Crocker and Egbert get lucky though and get Dad back. It’s a little confusing since he has the memories from both universes up until the game. Lalonde says it’s because he was considered an innocent bystander in both sessions. Whatever, I don’t care. As long as John is happy. And he is.

The rest of the world turns out alright as well. Trolls and humans apparently live side by side fairly easily. The sun isn’t as dangerous as Alternia’s, but we now have two moons. There are a bunch of white scary looking animals wandering around. Apparently they are the lusii that the trolls talk about. English also has history with them. There is no more hemospectrum or culling which Vantas was much relieved about. Our mounds of grist are actually usable so we will never want for anything. We could live as kings and queens in this new land of ours. Except this world has a history of its own without mention of us, so we aren’t literal kings or queens, even Peixes. But we do get to whatever our hearts desire. I’ll probably work on my DJ skills and photography. Lalonde wants to become a psychologist of course, with a side job of writing. Vantas wants to do relationship counseling especially now that there is an entirely new/blended concept of romance to explore. Roxy and Captor connected at the mention of computers. English will probably go explore ancient ruins and tropical jungles. Crocker wants to start a baking empire, but will do it without the brainwashing and evil empress overtones. Most of the trolls have their own interests to pursue, and most of them I don’t care about. The only two people that I really care about are Dirk and John.

Dirk doesn’t really know what he wants to do because he’s good at everything really. He could do politics with his experience leading people. He could go into music with the signature Strider sick rhymes and ill beats. He could go into robotics and put everyone already in the field to shame. He could go into computers and AI; I mean, he created Auto Responder as a teenager. He could go into art with his drawings and hand made puppets. Or he could get into porn like my Bro was. He just doesn’t know what yet but that’s okay. I’ll support him in anything.

Well maybe not the porn. Especially not the puppet porn.

Egbert on the other hand has no clue what he wants to do because he wasn’t that developed at the tender age of 13. His interests were in pranking, stage magic, and ectobiology, and outside of the game, ectobiology doesn’t exist. I feel like he is the most lost out of all of us because he started off the most normal before the game. But now Dad’s baking tendencies fall more in line with Crocker’s version and the harlequin obsession turned out to be an odd attempt to connect which actually only antagonized their relationship. Vantas’ very neat shipping chart that squared away us Beta kids neatly has been blown to bits by the addition of other humans and the fact that his fated relationship with Lalonde appears to have been waylaid by a certain proper jade-blooded troll. And the blue blooded spider bitch that messed with Egbert turns out to be too psychotic for even someone as accepting as the derp. He apparently got pretty close to Davesprite during those three years on the ship, but there hasn’t been any sign of the sprites since their heroic kamikaze attack.

He doesn’t have anyone but me. I swear I will not be leaving his side ever again.

* * *

It takes about a year for everyone to move out of Home Base. All of us have scars from the game. Some literal from the marks where we died at one point or another. (Ampora’s completely encircles his waist from where Maryam went Texas Chainsaw Massacre on him.) Others are mental. There isn’t a night that someone doesn’t wake up screaming. We shared rooms for moments like these. A roommate will always be mere feet from the nightmare victim. I of course roomed with Egbert. His nightmares break my heart every time, but I will hold him tight until the sobbing, choking, anguished moans fade back into dreamless sleep. Even I’m not immune. I’ve woken up to John murmuring soft words of comfort and peace while holding me tight with one arm and stroking my hair with the other. He tells me that I cry out for Bro and Harley and even Davesprite. That makes sense because I can remember the dreams that star them. I also dream about losing John, but he doesn’t mention that I call out for him. About twice a week, we’ll wake up curled together. Whoever was the comforter that night decides to stay for the rest of the night. I don’t mind and John seems comfortable with it.

Over time the twenty kids end up pairing up and going off to make their way in the world. Some pairs made total sense like Nepeta/Zahhak and Lalonde/Maryam. Others were questionable like Serket/Pyrope and Ampora/Peixes. And no one quite understands Crocker and Makara. The only thing they have in common is baking, but I guess it’s enough. Captor and Roxy join up with a secret government cybertronic agency. Harley and Vantas are travelling relationship doctors. Megido and Nitram go into animal care and fashion. Dirk puts off his life to take English on the adventures he’s been dreaming of his entire life. It rings painfully similar to my situation but once again I shove those feelings down.

Egbert and I are the last to leave Home Base except for Dad, but I have a feeling that he’ll totter around here forever keeping the place up and baking cakes for whatever team decides to drop by. Several have already stopped by and everyone makes sure that they are in town for holidays. Apparently Alternian and Earthen holidays match up date wise. We all keep in touch by phone and computer but it’s nice to get face to face again. Especially when Vantas comes into town. But it’s summer when Egbert and I get acceptance letters from a college in a nearby city. It’s just far enough away that we’ll get our own place downtown, but it’s still fairly close to Home Base. I’m going for a liberal art dual degree in discography and photography. Egbert is going in undeclared, but has a schedule filled to the brim with random classes as he looks for something to do.


	7. Chapter 7

I love the derp with all of my heart, soul, and body, but I’m going to strangle him.

“Daaaave! You can’t just leave your shoes by the door!”

“And why not? I don’t need them inside the apartment. I only need them when I go outside and the door is the portal to the outside. It’s like asking the astronauts not to keep their space suits by the airlock. They’ll be so handy in the bedroom.”

“But it’s clutter!” Egbert continued to whine. Hearing his deep bass voice come out as a whine is always a little disconcerting. Despite his mature body, he can still act like a kid.

“Oh my gog, Egbert. No one else is here besides us. No one else is here to see the tiny bits of clutter that accumulate when people are actively live in an apartment. It is a single pair of shoes tucked next to the door. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I own? Two. That pair and a pair of nice dress shoes that hide in my closet. It’s not like I have piles and piles of shoes just strewn about like a shoe explosion. There aren’t any piles of anything around because we don’t live with trolls. You’ve even managed to clean up and tame the wires of our entertainment center. If there was any less clutter in this apartment, it would be considered to be sterile enough to do open heart surgery in here!” I cringed at myself. I had kept an even volume but my tone had broken down into something not so pleasant. That is not how I should be greeting my roommate after a day full of his hardest classes. Fuck.

Sure enough, I can hear Egbert shuffling around by the front of the apartment. The couch faces the entertainment center and away from the front door so didn’t even face him when I berated him for keeping the fucking apartment clean. I set the game controller down on the table and glance over my shoulder. Yep, he’s putting his backpack neatly by the dining table where later tonight he’ll work on homework like he usually does, but he’s dragging his feet and biting his lower lip. I feel like I just punted a puppy. But seriously, for the first 13 years of my life I lived in an apartment with a dude who had very few rules beyond common sense like don’t break shit or piss the ninja-sword-flash-step master off too much. Then I lived with trolls for 3 years, spent about a year fighting and trying to survive, and then spent the last one with a fraternal figure who did all the cleaning without complaint. And compared to the trolls, I was one of the least responsible for messes at Home Base. Egbert is a little bit of a cleaning nazi, but I really did come off as harsh and Wednesdays are his harder days. Fuck!

I pull myself up off the couch and go over to where he is still fiddling with his backpack and notebooks. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind and lay my cheek on his shoulder. In a friendly apologetic hug. “Sorry. I’m an asshole. I am the greatest of douchebags and the worst of roommates. It is me.”

“No, you’re right. A pair of shoes by the door isn’t bad.”

“But I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“You didn’t yell at me. You metaphorized at me.” I can hear his tone brightening up.

“They weren’t even good metaphors. They were crap metaphors and I am disgraced that they passed over these godly Strider lips.” That made Egbert chuckle. I could feel the vibration in his chest as mine was pressed tightly against him. Now that I am not longer in the throes of puberty, I have much tighter reign on my hormones and have slowly increased my physical connection to the point that this sort of hug is not uncommon. "They are such shitty metaphors that they should just be chucked into the trash except then it would instantly fill it up and I'd have to take the trash out for the second time today."

"Wait. Dave fucking Strider took the trash out today? Catch me, I'm going to faint!" His hand goes up to his forehead and he sags at the knees. I'm not complaining because the motion just makes him lean against me.

"I'm already holding you, Egderp." Okay, I'm not really complaining but I have to keep up appearances. "So you forgive me?"

"And if I don't?"

"I won't ever let go. Bro had stories and stories of how clingy I was as a meteor baby and I will bring that habit back."

"Actually I remember that while I was in the ectobiology lab. You wouldn't leave me alone until I finally wrestled you off and put you on Maplehoof."

"Even as a baby I had great taste."

"I forgive you, Dave." Man, I was just getting really comfortable too, but I release my clingy hold and head to the kitchen.

"So what do you want for dinner?"

"You mean you don't already have it on the table for me? What sort of terrible wife are you that there isn't a hot meal waiting for when I get back from a long day at work?"

"One, I would make a terrific wife. Two, you didn't answer what you wanted for dinner when I asked this morning. Three, you had classes not work. Four, you still haven't answered the question." I surprised both Egbert and myself when I discovered I could cook so that sorta became my permanent job at our apartment. And I would love to be Egbert's wife, but alas he only calls me that as a joke.

"Grilled chicken! You get to fill in the sides. And you can't expect me to answer anything in the morning before I've had coffee."

"I know I know. Well, go chill and unwind while I go my gourmet chef thing." I wave in the direction of the bedrooms. He always takes a shower when he gets home. It’s something him and Bro have/had in common.

I pull out a package of chicken I had marinating and dump it on the cutting board. I start heating a pan as I cut the meat in long strips for grilling. And by grilling I mean tossing it around in the pan until fully cooked. But I know what Egbert meant. I also flick the oven on and pull out a head of cauliflower. I cut off the florets and arrange them on a baking sheet. I always imagine myself as a lumberjack cutting down miniature trees. Don’t ask. I drizzle the wrecked forest with oil, balsamic vinegar, and salt and throw it into the oven for roasting. I toss the chicken around a little bit more then move onto the green veggie. I pull a bag of frozen green beans out of the fridge, dump them into a casserole dish, season them and then throw them into the microwave. Okay, maybe not the most gourmet method but it’s quick and easy and still tastes good. One more toss of the chicken then I grab a handful of rolls and toss them on the rack next to the cauli.

The food is about done as the pipes shudder in the walls indicating Egbert is getting out of the shower. I get two plates down from a cabinet and two sets of silverware from a drawer. I reach into the fridge to get too chilled beers and pop off the tops. The microwave chimes so I pull out the dish and stir up the long green slivers before heaping a pile onto each plate. I use tongs to split the chicken into even counts, and then I get the cauliflower and rolls out of the oven and put the hot tray up on the stove top. I pick out the best looking pieces and add them to the plates. Just as I sprinkle the dishes with a pinch of salt with a flourish of my wrist, I hear a snort from behind me. Carefully I pick up the plates and beer with balanced silverware and present it to my audience.

“Dinner and a show, you are a terrific wife.” He’s referring to how I act around the kitchen. Apparently I move from one thing to the next with a fluidity of a dancer, as he told me one time a while ago. I wasn’t really conscious about it until he mentioned it, but now I make sure to keep it up whenever I know he’s watching because, hey, it’s something he noticed about me and I’m like a silly schoolgirl who wears her hair the exact same way every day because her crush told her he liked how it was styled one day.

“Go sit on the couch, Egderp, and enjoy your home-cooked meal.” He smiles his derpy grin at me and bounds over to the couch. I follow behind, carrying the dinner like a butler. After he sits down, he reaches up and takes a set so that I can use both hands to balance mine as I sit next to him. I find the remote wedged in the cushion and turn on the TV. It’s a wide flat screen that takes up the majority of the wall and when coupled with our awesome surround sound stereo system makes for epic movie nights. But for now I flip to the Discovery channel and find Mythbusters on. Apparently it made the culture change because of the excessive explosions. Half of the hosts are now trolls but their personalities are mostly intact. The trolls have some weird myths however so the show has been pretty enlightening for those of us not used to the Alternian side of the new world. Which is exactly nine humans. But hey, at least there are twelve trolls that have to learn the Earth side of a lot of events. And all of us have to figure out the excitable mash of cross culture contamination.

Egbert digs into his dinner with gusto which means he’s recovered from my opening gaffe. I hate screwing up but I seem to do it often. I’ll be fine as long as it’s not permanent. I start eating and ohmygod I’ve outdone myself. It all tastes so fucking delicious. I have to force myself to slow down and have to restrain myself from licking the plate. Egbert has no restraint and greedily goes after every morsel his fork left behind like a dog on a dishwashing mission. It’s fucking adorable.

After setting my plate on the table, I lean back on the couch to nurse my beer, letting my shoulder rest casually against his. Contact between us no longer burns like fire but is still pleasantly warm. I still crave it like crazy, but at least the impulses are controllable.

“So how were classes today?” I begin once I am sure he’s not going to choke on anything during the conversation.

“They were pretty fun!” He goes on rambling about the multitude of classes he has. They are all in different fields as he is trying to figure out what he wants to do. I just relax into his rumbling bass voice and sip my beer. I respond at appropriate spots with agreement or interjected opinion, but otherwise I just let him ramble.

"So how was your day, Dave?"

"Not nearly as exciting as yours. We took a field trip in photography. Went to the park. My pictures turned out the best."

"Gog! Your classes are always so easy!"

"That's because I'm a lazy son of a bastard."

"Isn't that phrase 'son of a bitch'?"

"I'm not calling Roxy a bitch without good reason and Bro never had a father unless you are stepping into that role." I smirked and then turned my head to look at him. "Then I'd have to call you Gran'pappy."

"Oh gog no. No no no!" Egbert reacted violently to the suggestion.

"Then don't criticize my word choice." We always fall into an easy bantering routine, his dorkness versus my wit. It's a classic combination. He returns to his normal relaxed position on the couch, but this time his shoulder rests on mine. The episode of Mythbusters ends with another spectacular explosion and the myth apparently busted. Don't know if it was Alternian, Earthen, or a weird hybrid of the two, and I don't care.

As the introduction to whatever is next comes on, Egbert gets fidgety. A fidgety Egbert is never a good sign. I let him stew until the first commercial before asking, "Sup?"

"Nothing," he answers too quickly. Does he not realize I can read him like an open book? "Why do you ask? What's up with you?"

"Dude, you are twitching like the couch has just tasered you and has triggered some major convulsions. You always have something on your mind when you get like this."

"Bluh! No I don't. I just, uh, had some coffee this afternoon and the caffeine is hitting my system. Just ignore the twitches."

"You don't drink coffee in the afternoon. Makes you unable to sleep at night."

"It was an emergency occasion!"

I let the lie go as the show comes back on and I get to enjoy learning about how things are made. Egbert consciously stills his fidgeting for a while, but by the next time the commercials come back, it's like he has a caffeine drip directly to his bloodstream. I mute the TV and turn to him.

"Spill it."

"It's nothing."

"Nope. Not buying whatever is on TV and not buying your words." He goes silent but doesn't stop fiddling. I stare at him, but he avoids my gaze. I'm not wearing the shades anymore because it's stupid to wear sunglasses inside especially in the evening. What kind of lame kid wears sunglasses inside. "Egbert, if it's about what happened before dinner then let me know what I can do to apologize. I don't want to lose my roommate slash best friend over a pair of shoes and some lame ass metaphors. If it's about the metaphors then give me a chance to redo the scene. I've come up with some sick nasty better ones."

"It's not about that. I told you already that I've forgiven you, bad metaphors and all. It's... uh... well..."

"Use your grown up words, Egderp." I smirk at him, egging him on.

"Are there any cute guys in your classes?"

Welp, that came out of left field. Blindsided me like a baseball to the left temple, which is probably where that term came from. "Not particularly," I respond, slipping into my patented poker-faced flat tone. I can't guess where this is going. Actually I'm not even going to anticipate what's going to come out of his mouth.

"I mean, you haven't dated anyone since we got to college."

"There are very few people who meet Strider standards." Of course I haven't dated anyone. I already live with the guy I love.

"I guess that's true. Your standards of cool are quite high. But there's gotta be someone on campus."

There is. You. "Anybody on your radar?" Redirection. "I haven't seen any girls around since Julie." Egbert had tried dating a couple girls but it never lasted more than a handful of dates before something went wrong. She was too clingy, she was too aloof, she was too tall, she wasn't interesting enough, she had an obnoxious laugh, etc. There was one that he told about the game. After that fiasco, we decided never to bring it up to anyone outside of the 21 survivors. Julie was his latest attempt at dating that happened actually a couple of weeks ago now that I think about it. Something about trying to drag him to operas.

"There's someone." And he's back to fidgety. What is up with this kid?

"And?" I raise an expectant eyebrow up at him.

"And I'm not really sure how to go about it." That's unusual. Egbert never had a problem asking a girl out. I did because that meant he wasn't dating me, but I got over it and would internally celebrate every time he came home after breaking it off. Of course, externally I commiserate with a shared pint of ice cream and a viewing of a romantic comedy of his choice.

"Do you want help in asking her out?"

"I don't think you can help me with this."

"I know I lied about all the girls that were lining up around the corner to get a piece of this fine Strider ass when we were thirteen, but that doesn't mean I don't have swag. I can be the Romeo of romance if need be. Pull out the red roses and candlelight dinners. More roses torn apart and petals scattered around a bed with white silken sheets. Draw the bath with scented oils prepared for a massage. Makeout sessions on deserted bluffs while stargazing on top of the car. Picnics on waterfall hikes, etc etc etc. Depends on what she's into." Okay, I might have had some time to think (read fantasize) about all I'd like to do with Egbert. And those are only a selection of the clean ideas. Personally I like the raunchier stuff but I don't think that's a good way to start off a relationship.

"Wow, those actually sound really good." He shifts his body so that we were facing each other on the couch, the TV totally ignored.

"Of course they are. I had three years on a meteor and needed some way to keep myself from going out of my mind,” I explain away with a shrug.

"So you thought up romantic stuff?" He looks at me critically, leaning in a little.

"Not 24/7, but yea. Why not?"

"You haven't used any of those on anyone."

"You know what? Enough about me. Let's figure out how to apply these to your mystery girl.” I return the lean and drop my voice to a conspiratorial murmur.

"I'm pretty sure it'll be harder than that."

"Fine, if she's that unconventional, then just go straight for the kiss."

Egbert starts thinking contemplatively about this. I can tell by the way he bites his lower lip. I realize that I am staring at his lips again and flip my eyes back up to his. That's when he leans forward to close the small gap between us and pushes those lips against mine.

What.


	8. Chapter 8

What.

He doesn't give me enough time to process, comprehend, and react before he is pulling away. Okay, fast dissection of what just happened. He kissed me. We were talking about dating, then Egbert said that he had a girl in mind, then I was giving romantic suggestions, then if unconventional just kiss, then he kissed me. Wait. He never used a gender identifying pronoun. He kissed me. I would be considered unconventional. He kissed me. I'm the mystery girl. He kissed me.

"John." It could be one of his infamous pranks.

"That was stupid, wasn't it." Oh shit, that's panic in his voice. Not a prank.

"John." But he's not a homosexual. That was like his catchphrase while we were hurtling through space between universes.

"I'm sorry. Oh gog, I'm not sure about this myself. Don't hate me." He raises his hands to try to cover his face. I grab them and pull them down, pulling him sort of along to the point where I can lean over and return the kiss. I keep it nice, short, sweet, and simple like the one he gave me. But now I really want more. How did I go this long without Egbert kisses? I just want to kiss him again and again and again and again and you get the picture. But right now his bright blue eyes are wide and bright and filled with a lot of emotion.

"John."

"D-d-dave?" His voice is shaking.

"Take a deep breath." I see his shoulders lift and sink as he complies. "You caught me off guard. I totally thought you were talking about a chick. Because... because you said you weren't a homosexual. Well, actually you told Karkat that and he sorta but not really told me that and you've never been interested in guys and you said-"

"I know what I said," he interrupted softly. "That was back when I was thirteen, though. Am I allowed to change my mind?"

"Yea, dude. Of course. It’s not like you made a contract stating you have to be straight and signed your name with blood. I just might seem a bit slow because I'm still recovering from the whiplash that this conversation has thrown me."

He sat back and started nibbling on his lower lip again. I now know how soft that lip is. How warm and sweet those lips are. And I am staring again. Am I allowed now? Will I be able to kiss them again? Oh please please please say yes.

“So... are you okay with this?”

Am I okay with this? “Am I okay with this? John, I love you.” I pause for a beat to realize my mistake. “Fuck, that didn’t stay as internal monologue.” His mouth opens. I don’t know if he is going to say something or if it is just his jaw dropping because I don’t give him a chance before my hand clamps down over his mouth to shut him up. “Ignore that for now. I am going to do this right, damnit. Yes, John, I am fully and completely okay with it. I am over the moon and beside myself. I am multidimensionally happy. I am like a dumpy little highschool girl with braces and acne who just got asked to prom by the star football player happy. I don’t want to scare you away with dropping the L-bomb so please ignore it for now and just realize that I mean it, but I am not expecting it back any time soon. I hope that you’ll feel like that one day, but I am okay with just kissing you. Honestly I’d love to finally put into action all of those sappy ideas I just laid out at your feet and then some, starting with taking you out for a dinner and a movie tomorrow if you let me.”

I finally release his mouth only to catch it again with another kiss, tilting my head so that our noses don’t bump. I close my eyes and take this one nice and slow. It’s a simple pressing of lips together, but his softness and warmth feels so incredible. He pushes back against me with one hand resting on my chest, slightly gripping my shirt. I reach a hand up to cup his cheek, my thumb brushing over his cheekbone and my little finger tucking under his jaw line. It feels perfect and right and heavenly.

Just as I am thinking nothing could ever be better, I feel John’s tongue flick over my lips in a question for entrance. I have to clamp down on the shudder as I open my mouth to let him in. He is soft and exploratory and tastes like dinner, but underneath the chicken and vegetables there is a sweetness that can only be John. The hand on my shirt pulls me in tighter as my tongue brushes against his. My dreams have nothing on how awesome amazing the real thing is. If I hadn’t already been in love, I would have fallen just for the way he kisses. As it is, it feels like my heart is about to burst. That fire from his touch is back and his hand on my chest is burning and my lips are tingling with heat and pressure and oh my god I can’t get enough.

When the burning shifts to my lungs, I belatedly remember that we still need to breath. I gently pry us apart and gasp at the cool air. I open my eyes and am greeted with a sight that goes straight south, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. John’s glasses are crooked on his face, his eyes are heavy lidded, his cheeks are flushed, and his lips are swollen. His whole body shudders and pants as he catches his breath. I am probably a blonde reflection of this look.

“This is kinda new for me, but I really want to give this a shot. Pick me up at 7.” Oh that goofy grin is back. It would be illegal how sexy that is.

“So you are okay with this?” Normally I would be embarrassed at how airy my voice sounds, but given the reason, I can’t seem to give a shit. I’m pretty sure he’s gonna answer positively, but I have to make sure. I can’t fuck this up anymore.

“Yea. I think I’m okay with this.” There is a husky rumble within his bass that I’ve never heard before but I could probably make love to. But thankfully I don’t have to, because as much of an audiophile I am, I am a greater JohnEgbertphile. And I pray that word is never actually said aloud. I don’t have to worry about that right now, because his lips are once again back on mine preventing any more talk or thoughts.

In a desperate move to get closer to him, I push myself against his chest and he yields a little. I move into the space until he is pressed up against the couch and oh look at that, I am in his lap.

And his lap is the best thing ever.

I swing a leg across so that I am now straddling his leg. His hands are on my hips, curling around to my back, pulling me into him. I am not taking responsibility for anything my body does. It will be entirely his fault for being so damn hot and fucking sexy and oh my god just kissing him feels amazing. I do have the presence of mind to keep my hips a respectable distance from his by digging my knees into the back of the couch and holding his lap tightly between my thighs. My hands glide along his upper arms to his broad shoulders and then hide themselves in his hair. Soft, dark, warm, it slips through my fingers and feels amazing. His hands also start exploring, roaming up my sides, down over my hips, across my back and shoulders. They leave a trail of heat that burns oh so nicely.

All the while our lips slip and slide together. Our tongues dance as we kiss. He does this incredible thing every once in awhile where he sucks lightly on my bottom lip to pull it in between his teeth and then he lets it slide out slowly, drawing a moan from me. I’m actually alright with that because I can draw similar moans when I run my fingernails over his scalp and tilt his head up towards mine. Those moans are pure ambrosia. I could live off of them if I don’t drown in kisses first.

* * *

I don’t know if it was minutes, hours, or days later when we next came up for breath, but I notice that the apartment has gone dark which indicates that the sun had gone down while we were busy. Usually Egbert is slaving away at some subject while self exiled to the table at this time on Wednesday. I typically tuck myself away in my room to give him the distractionless peace and quiet he needs to work.

“Hey college hunk, as much as I love kissing your brains out, you have school work to do that you need to apply those said brains to. And I have a date to plan out.” I start making the necessary motions to untangle myself from his lap.

“No.” Egbert wraps his arms tightly around my waist.

“Babe,” I entreated.

“Nope.”

“Classes.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Date.”

“Negative.”

“Come on you gotta let me go.”

“Noooooooo,” he demands as he snuggles in closer. His face is buried into my chest. His breath is hot as it passes through my shirt.

“I promise more kisses later, okay dude.”

“Promise?” It’s muffled but it’s not a no or a version of no.

I kiss the top of his head. His hair smells nice. “I promise. I pinky promise. I pinky promise with sugar, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. But you are going to be up late tonight as it is. Better start your work now so that I’m not kissing a zombie tomorrow.” I feel him release me and I pull away. I can’t help myself when I swoop in for one last kiss for the night. I make it a simple peck on the lips because otherwise, I’d never leave. I extract myself from his lap, drawing a heavy sigh from him. He looks up at me with those big blue eyes and I have to literally put all of my concentration into refraining from leaping back into his arms.

“Goodnight, John. Be downstairs seven o’clock sharp tomorrow.”

“Yea, sure. Goodnight, Dave.”

I force myself to turn away from him and move towards my room.


	9. Chapter 9

I gently close the door behind me before taking a running leap at my bed. I am pretty sure this grin will be etched on my face permanently. I feel the weight of my phone in my pocket and unlock it quickly. I have to tell someone about this. I open the contact and immediately tap on Dirk’s name. Rolling onto my back I hold the phone to my ear and listen to it ring. It takes three rings before it connects which is odd. Dirk always has his phone on him.

“John kissed me,” I blurt out before the other end even has a chance to answer.

“Dave! Good morn to you, good chap! John kissed you? Well congratulations!”

I pull the phone away just to make sure I dialed correctly. “English? What timezone are you in that it’s morning there? And why are you answering my bro’s phone?”

“Strider handed it to me. He’s... a little, preoccupied, but gives you two thumbs up at the outstanding news.” English sounds a little distracted and his tone is a little breathy.

“He’s answered me when he’s been elbows deep in robo-guts while doing near surgical rebirth to give AR a body. What on earth is he doing now that he can’t answer me, but can still hand you the phone?”

“Well, his hands aren’t particularly engaged- oh nevermind!” English’s tone sorta spikes up into a squeak near the end.

“What?”

“More specifically, he can’t answer you because his mouth is occupied. With my cock.”

“Dude!” I frantically tap at my screen to end the call. Oh jegus h. dicks. No, not dicks. I am not thinking of dicks. I did not just call my brother while he was blowing someone and my brother did not pass his phone off to be answered by that someone and that someone did not just tell me that my brother was sucking him off. I live by a river and it is denial.

TG: dude that is fucked up

TG: just ignore the phone when shit like that is happening

TG: definitely dont let english answer

TG: im going to bleach my brain now

I finish sending the wave of texts and look for someone else that I can exclaim the good news to. I smirk as I scroll over a particular name. A ring and a half for this one.

“What do you want, fuckass?” Karkat snarls over the phone.

That tone tickles me to the core. Good to know that I’m still in hate with the nubby troll. “What makes you think I want anything? Can’t I call just to be social and civilized.”

“You being social and civilized? Don’t lie to yourself, you barbaric freak. The only two reasons you call me is when you want something or you are gloating about something and I really don’t want to hear you whining for a fucking gold star over whatever fucking achievement you got that a fucking grub could have stumbled over and done a twice better job than you. So either tell me what you want from me or hang up, fucknut.”

“John kissed me.” Actually I do sorta want a gold star for this now that he mentions it.

There is silence on the other end of the line before in an uncharacteristically soft voice he growls, “You lying sack of shit.”

“Nope.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“But he said-”

“He knows what he said but he wants to give this a shot.”

“He kissed you.”

“Yea.”

“Well, there goes a lot my hate material for you.” Okay, good. Karkat is okay with it. As much as I like to antagonize him, I know at one point he was flushed for the dork. He’s sorta ended up with the other dork. So what if Harley makes him happy? I have no room to judge.

“You know it was never really fair when you pulled that.”

“I know, but kismesissitude isn’t about being fair.”

“Fuck you.”

“Gotta watch that now with Egbert now in the picture.”

Huh, didn’t think about that. I’ll have to check in on how Egbert feels about my kismesissitude relationship now that he wants to kiss me as well. “True, but you know what, I don’t mind. I don’t mind because he’s in the picture! He kissed me and said yes to a date.”

“Dinner and a movie?” Karkat asks casually, ever the romantic.

“Of course. Though I dropped an L-bomb on him.” Why not consult a romantic expert while I have him on the phone.

“How’d he take that?”

“I’m not quite sure. I shut him up and told him to ignore it for now and that he shouldn’t feel pressured to say it back.”

“He’s going to feel pressured.”

“I know. I fucked up.”

“Like usual.”

“Hey.”

“It’s true.”

“Fuck off.”

“You first, fuckass.”

“How are the romance studies going?”

“Great. Turns out that kismesissitude is almost exactly the same but the violence is naturally moderated when involving a human, like how I had to handle your softness.”

“I gave as good as I got and never asked for reprieve.”

Karkat ignores me and continues on. “Matespritship no longer revolves around pity but has incorporated the previously human emotion love.”

“So I can be matesprits with John officially without that roundabout explanation that I had to give you after the fight.”

“Yes, you dumbshit. You and John fucking Egbert can be lovey-dovey matesprits until you make us all puke in disgust.”

“We will be sweetest sugary couple you have ever seen. Holding hands in public and feeding each other small fruits on picnics.” I grin when I heard gagging on the other end of the line.

“Oh gog, I don’t need to hear that, dickwad. Do you know how many fucks I give to your budding relationship with the superdork of this universe? None. I give no fucks to what goes on between the two of you. I hope you get diabetes and then die in a fire.”

“Aww you don’t mean that, Karkles. I know you’re happy for us. Thanks.”

“Fuck off.”

“So it sounds like the flushed quadrants came through fairly untouched. What about the pale end of the spectrum?”

“Moirallegiance also came out pretty even. Apparently it was simple enough even the puny human brain could understand it. Though you humans like to term it as soulmates.”

“Huh, that’s actually a little different from Earth. Soulmates would have more romantic inclinations, would have been considered more flushed than pale.” I can hear frantic scribbling as he wrote down notes about that. Karkat doesn’t have much pre-game human romantic literature to research from except what the nine humans that came through had to offer. Which given we most of us were young teenagers whose social lives consisted of talking to strangers on the internet and two of those had never seen a living human until the game, there wasn’t much that Karkat could go off of. “Ask Lalonde for more.” I cut him off before he can attempt to pry any more out of me.

“Fine, be no help, you bulge sucking moron.”

“Please no blow job insults. I really don’t need to lose my dinner.”

“What’s gotten your panties in a twist? You like to suck my bulge often enough.”

“You force that tentacle thing into my mouth more than I ever care for, Karkass. But for once it’s not about your offending crotch appendage. English answered Dirk’s phone.”

“How the fuck does that lead to a sudden distaste for cock?”

“Dirk couldn’t answer because his mouth was otherwise involved.”

“Huh?” Pause. “Oh.” Wait for it. “Oh gog damn it. Oh fuck you, Strider! You did not need to share that! Why did you think I needed to know that mentally scarring scrap of information? I am going to go bleach my brain from that mental picture! Fuck you!”

“Sorry, I’ll be unavailable for a while as I court my potential matesprit.”

“Fuck off!” Click. Aw, he never got around telling me about any potential changes to the club quadrant. The romances managed to keep the suit symbols as icons and actually they make decks of cards and subsequent card games more understandable now. My phone buzzes in my hand.

CG: CONGRATULATIONS, FUCKASS.

CG: ON BOTH EGBERT AND MAKING ME WANT TO LOBOTOMIZE MYSELF.

TG: thanks and welcome

CG: FUCK YOU!

I simply smile and start looking up movie times.

 

* * *

As I predicted, it’s late before the lights under my door from the living room turn off and I hear Egbert sleepily shuffle off to his room. I’m personally glad that he didn’t even think about coming to my room. He would have one of two reasons and I’m not sure if I could have handled either well. Either he could have been reconsidering this newly developed situation and coming to kill it before it had even opened it eyes, which would have destroyed me. I wouldn’t have been able to go back to normal best friends after a taste of heaven. Or he could have been coming to try to get more kisses and into my bed, but even after all these years of pining and wishing and hoping and dreaming for that to happen, I really don’t want to move that quickly on it. Even if he instigates it, like he has been so far actually, I don’t want to spook him away. I really do want to court him, to woo him, to allow him to fall in love with me.

Neither scenario happened so I am safe for now.

I stay up for another hour or so skimming the internet and working on some music in the background. I’m a night owl but thankfully not an insomniac like Vantas. I sleep at regular intervals, however shifted from the norm those intervals are. At least our nightmares have decreased. Every once in awhile I wake up with John shaking me or simply curled around me or I’ve heard the screams and sobbing from the other room and I’ll go comfort him, but it isn’t as bad as when we first got out. For some of the survivors it still is. I hear some of the trolls that died on the meteor are still screwed up in the head. I remember Vriska’s screams being the loudest when we all lived together.

When I feel the sandman come tapping on my eyelids, I shut my computer down and crawl into my sheets. The cool fabric slides pleasantly over my skin. I think about what happened on the couch and I am pretty sure I fall asleep with a grin on my face.


	10. Chapter 10

I wake up the next morning to dishes being moved around as Egbert is making himself breakfast. He is never quiet when he gets ready in the morning and he always gets up way too damn early. I might be a lazy son of a bastard, but at least I know it and I make sure to only schedule classes in the afternoon so that I can get my beauty sleep. Usually I don’t get out bed; I just turn over and snuggle back in. It’s really tempting this morning, but then I remember last night. My feet hit the floor and I slip a clean shirt on. My sleep pants will be fine because I am planning on coming back to bed after seeing the derp off.

I find him standing at the sink with his back to me. Sounds like he’s munching away at a bowl of cereal. As much as I’d love to go up behind him and hug him and kiss him on the neck in a nice sleepy good morning greeting, but I’m not sure if he’s ready for that. Instead I open the refrigerator and pull out a chilled apple juice.

“Dave! What are you doing up?”

“Apple juice.” Okay, I might be vertical and moving around, but that doesn’t mean that my brain is fully functional yet. Short bursts of speech are all that I can manage. I crack open the seal and take a big gulp of cool deliciousness.

“I can see that. But I’m still shocked to see you up before noon. Is everything okay?” He’s set the breakfast bowl down and comes over to me. I just softly grin at him and wrap a casual arm around his neck. I give him just enough of a pause to escape but he doesn’t move away. I pull him in close and kiss him lightly on the lips. At the contact he leans towards me, pushing until my back is up against the refrigerator door. His hands are on my hips and I bring my other arm up over his shoulder as well, dangling the juice bottle behind him. He tastes like Lucky Charms and milk and John. Despite the movement to a solid vertical surface we keep the pace of the kiss slow and languid.

We finally part. “Good mornin’, babe.”

“Good morning, Dave. What a way to wake up, huh?”

“I’m not wakin’ up. Kiddin’ me? Not even noon. Just wanted some juice.”

“You are going back to bed as soon as I leave, aren’t you?”

“Duh.”

“Was it really for the apple juice?”

Instead of answering like a sap, I kiss him again. Like a sap.

“Have fun with your fuck ton of classes. Seven sharp.” I push him off of me and stumble back towards my room.

“Yessir!” I glance over at my shoulder and yep, he’s doing a salute at me with a wide goofy grin on his face. Fuck, I love this kid.

* * *

Five minutes. I absolutely hate being the hero of Time some days. I can feel every minute drip down my spine, every second crawl along my skin, every microsecond itching in the back of my brain. I am parked a little ways down the street from the apartment building. I snuck out of the apartment just before the derp got out of class. I had some last minute errands to run before I picked him up. I’m pretty sure it might be overdoing it but unfortunately Egbert will absolutely enjoy every overdone cliche that I’m pulling out.

Four minutes. I glance over at the passenger seat. A single red rose was wrapped up blue tissue paper. Fuck, that’s stupid. I should get rid of it. He isn’t a girl. He won’t want to be treated like one. But it’s romantic. And he likes romance. And I am trying to romance him, right? Fuck.

Three minutes. I start the car. A good song is on. Good music calms me. See, I’m not tapping as hard on the wheel as before. I check the console for the tickets again. Yup still there. Like they have been since 5. What if he doesn’t want to see this movie? Fuck! No, that’s fixable. If he hates it, we can pick another one while we are there. There are a couple good options out. I think he’ll enjoy this one the best though. I should have bought tickets to all of them to give him options. No, that’s just stupid. Fuck!

Two minutes. I check my email on my phone. Yes the reservation was confirmed. I even called them on top of the automatic email response. And I made sure they don’t serve anything with peanuts. I would go ahead and plug the address in, but I’ve already memorized several routes to get there. There are a thousand ways I can fuck this up but so far I am running good. Oh fuck I shouldn’t have thought that. Now I am going to jinx this.

One minute. Why the fuck is my phone buzzing?

TT: Congrats bro.

TT: And I am not sorry.

TG: to quote the wise and honorable vantas

TG: fuck you

I turn off my phone.

T-minus thirty seconds: I pull out of the spot and zip down the road.

T-minus twenty seconds: I pull up to the apartment entrance.

T-minus fifteen seconds: I grab the rose and get out of the car.

T-minus ten seconds: I need to get rid of the rose, don’t I? Fuck! Karkat would tell me to keep the rose, but would he be saying that as a relationship guru or as a fucking annoying kismesis?

T-minus five seconds: I keep the rose.

Seven o’clock. I am on the other side of the car, leaning casually against the door. Red high tops, black straight legged pants (that make my ass look good according to many witnesses), red button down shirt with the top buttons undone, black blazer with the disc cufflinks John got me last Christmas, and of course my shades. The rose is casually hanging from my fingers like is not in a death grip because I am not nervous in any way, shape, or form. I’m getting real cozy on those river banks, aren’t I?

At ten seconds past seven, I have to remind myself that only Aradia would as in tune with time as I am. Egberts probably still tying his shoes up in the apartment or something.

At twenty-three seconds past, the doors open and my brain turns off.

I am greeted with blue. He keeps doing that, making my entire thought process a color. But it's a gorgeous color and I love that color because it's his color.

He's wearing a blue blazer jacket that I'm questioning what thrift store he managed to find that treasure in until I see the Breath symbol neatly embroidered on the lapel. So it must be a gift from the in-house fashionista. I'll have to give Kanaya some awkward flushed gesture in gratitude. Underneath that is a white button down, buttoned up close but without a tie. Flattering khakis cover his long legs and neatly cover the tops of some sensible brown dress shoes.

But the best part is that smile he's wearing. It reaches all the way up through those blue blue blue eyes tucked behind those dorky black frames he won't give up. His raven black hair looks like he might have actually attempted to take a comb to it, but it never helps. It's a perpetual mess of soft curls and cowlicks. I love it.

He pauses just in front of me and it takes my brain a second to figure out what to do next. I push off away from the car and stand up straight.

"Sup." With a flourish I present him the rose and his face lights up.

"Dave! You are such a dork."

"I know. Now shut up and take it." He complies. His grin is infectious and I can feel my lips twitching up in response. At least the shades stay in place, at least for now. As I turn to open the passenger door, I catch him bringing the flower to his face to stick his nose in it. And he calls me a dork.

We get into the car and I head out for the restaurant.

"So where are we going?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"Out's a big place."

"Dave."

"Egbert."

"Where are we going for dinner?"

"Do you have to know?"

"I suppose not. But I want to!"

"Nope. Denied."

"Dave!"

"Just trust me okay? I doubt you even know the place but you'll enjoy it. Just sit back and let me do my thing."

"Bluh! Fine." He crosses his arms and tries to sulk. It is ruined by the care he takes to keep the rose safe. I always knew it was a good idea to keep it.

"So how were classes today?" That should keep him distracted enough until we get to the restaurant. He instantly perks up and tells me the happenings of his classes. Eventually the sun sets and I flick the shades up out of the way. This causes a pause in the endless stream of babble. I glanced over and catch Egbert staring at me.

"What?"

"You... you look really good tonight, Dave." Fuck, is that a blush I feel? Maybe the red evening light will hide it.

"Well, you clean up nice too, Egbert. I like the jacket."

"Thanks! Kanaya made it for me. She even put my sign on it!"

"Sweet. I should get her to do one for me."

"Ooh, you should get her to do it steampunk style!"

"Huh?"

"Well your symbol is a gear. And steampunk a bit anachronistic and you’re a hero of time. And you already have slick styled jackets from your game suits. And I think you'd look good in it," he mumbled at the end. Well fuck, if I wasn't driving I'd be texting Maryam for that request right this instant.

"I'll look into it," I reply as I turn into a parking lot. This place is a little out of the way but worth it according to a bunch of friends in my classes and reviews online. It's a fish market seafood place that imports fish from an area that's geographically similar to Washington state. Their smoked salmon is supposed to be particularly good.

I find a fairly good parking spot. I'm really glad I got Dirk to finish teaching me actual flash stepping because I get to Egbert's door before he does and I open it for him. He half scowls, half grins up at my smirk before climbing out of the car. As soon as he is fully standing, I step in and push him against the car for a quick passionate kiss. His head eagerly tips up to mine. My natural coolkid slouch brings me down to the perfect height to kiss him comfortably. Once again I am struck by how right this feels.

I pull back slowly and he follows me for a half second before those true blue eyes open and I swear they glow.

"Come on, I have reservations." When did my voice get that husky. I watch Egbert as he swallows and composes himself until finally nodding.

We get inside and it’s actually a pretty nice place for such a nondescript exterior. Everything is lit with blues and greens and there are cool fish tanks along the walls and as dividers throughout the room. We approach the maitre’d stand and I tell them we have a reservation.

"Name, sir?"

"Strider."

"Okay, right this way." The cute little hostess leads us across the room to a nice quiet corner. We sit and I enjoy Egbert looking around with that goofy grin on his face.

“Dave! Look at this place, Dave! It’s so cool! I mean they have fish! On the walls! In the walls!” He leans over the table to whisper loudly at me. Like his deep voice doesn’t carry at all. I humor him anyways and lean towards him as well.

“Where else would you put them? Now, which one do you want for dinner?”

His smile freezes and slowly dissolves into a look of horror. He sits back in his seat trying really hard to determine if I am joking or not. I simply smirk at him and open the menu in front of me. I’ve already planned out what I am going to order from the menu that they posted online but it gives me a good excuse to act casual.

“Dave... Dave please tell me that’s not what actually happens. None of these fish are big enough. Haha ha ha... ha. Dave, help me out. Please tell me you are lying. Dave, Dave!”

“Jeez, Egbert. No, these fish are just for display. The real fish are imports from the ocean. Just open your menu and look. Do you see any catch-your-own deals? No, no you don’t. But I’ve heard that the smoked salmon is the best thing here.”

He manages to calm down but keeps an eye on anyone who gets too close to the nearby tanks. It's adorable. And it’s so nice to be able to openly consider him adorable, cute, hot, sexy in my brain without instantly going on mental lockdown because he was off limits. He's not off limits now.

Our waitress comes by and we put in drink orders and I put in for an appetizer. Unfortunately we aren't old enough to legally drink yet otherwise I'd get us a bottle of wine to go with our fish. I'll bring Egbert back later I guess. (I hope.) I help Egbert decide on his meal, promising to share mine so he can taste it. He's excited about the cuisine because the dishes remind him of when Dad and he went to a place called Pike's Market before the game. Egbert is one of the few that can talk happily about life before the game. It's a combination of his natural optimism and idyllic childhood. I'm glad he brought Seattle up on his own because I wanted to give him a taste of home, but mentioning it myself would be uncool. Secretly I am grinning like a mad fool.


	11. Chapter 11

Dinner goes over well. Conversation flowed between us like normal. I mean, why wouldn’t it be normal? We are still best friends, with just a little kissing on top right now. We’ve known each other for years now in both digital and physical format, so it’s not like we have to sell ourselves to get a second date. We don’t even have to hide our faults or lie about how cool we think we are. (I know I am the coolest and Egbert is the dorkiest. John knows the truth of the matter.) The food is delicious and Egbert really enjoys the fish. I encourage him to get a dessert so he gets a creme brulee that we end up splitting. Everything is going well until the check comes. Our waitress is a little hesitant before deciding to simply place it between us. Once again I thank my flash-stepping skills and grab the check before Egbert can, but damn he was close. I slip my card into the folder and hand it back to the waitress before she has a chance to abscond.

“Wait, Dave, fuck, Dave, let me get the check since you planned this out.”

“My date, my check.”

“That’s not fair and you cheated with that fucking flash step bullshit.”

“Dude, calm down. How about if you let me cover dinner, you get the movie?”

“You already got dinner.” He frowns at me a little. “Fine. But I want to see that new comedy that just came out.” Yes, I win. I win so hard. That is the exact movie that I have tickets for. Fuck yea.

“Sure dude. Whatever you want,” I deadpan at him. The waitress quickly runs the card and returns it, handing it to me with a sheepish smile. I add a nice tip on for her; being kings in this universe means we get to spoil others and I'm having such a nice night, I want to spread the happiness around. “Ready to go?”

“Sure. We are going to the usual place, right?”

“Of course. Like they would let us in anywhere else.” Egbert and I have a favorite movie theater. We’ve talked with the staff until they all are our friends. It’s handy for when we want free drinks or snacks or when we go to a bad movie and end up making snide comments throughout, they won’t throw us out. In fact, the last time that happened, the usher who came to kick us out just sat down and joined in. It really was a terrible movie.

As I hold the restaurant door open, I hear Egbert whisper under his breath, “Bye fishies, stay safe. Don’t get eaten.” I have to stifle down a chuckle. He really is too adorable. He ambushes me at the car for some more kisses while sneakily guiding me to the driver’s side of the car. While I am too engrossed in the way his mouth tastes (creme brulee and John is my new favorite flavor) and how it feels, he manages to open my door for me. I raise an eyebrow at him but accept the offer. He waits until I have climbed in to close the door like a gentleman.

We pull up to the movie theater and I use a kiss inside the car as a distraction from grabbing the already purchased tickets from the console. We get out of the car together and head towards the entrance. I wave at the bored looking troll at the counter. She waves back with a smile and a wink. She knows what’s up from when I talked to her earlier today. Egbert stumbles a step when I gently push him towards the door instead of the ticket counter. When he glances at me questioningly, I flash the tickets at him and instantly his eyes narrow and his brows furrow.

“Dave.” His tone is slightly condescending.

I lean in and kiss him.

“Dave.” A little be more exasperated.

I kiss him again.

“Dave, no Dave.” He holds his hand up and I kiss his palm. There is a moment’s hesitation before he starts talking again. “You said I could get the movie.” I reach up to grab his hand, keeping it up though instead of pulling it down. “You covered dinner and I get the movie. But I can’t get the movie because you already bought the tickets.”

“So I lied,” I murmur into his hand. I can almost see the slight shudder that goes through him and I can definitely feel it as I follow my words up with a kiss. “The tickets are for the comedy.” Kiss.

“Dave.” There is a pleasant flush dusting his cheeks.

“Please, John.” Kiss. “I asked you out, so this is my date.” Kiss. Shudder. “If you ask me out, then it’ll be your date.” Kiss. “Let me have this date.” Kiss.

“Fine. But stop cheating.” He tries pull his hand back.

Kiss. “This is considered cheating?” Kiss. Shudder. I smirk over this fingers.

“Yes.” There is that husky tone again in his voice. I will definitely be using this again.

“Do you really want me to stop?”

“No... Yes! Not here?” The poor boy, he doesn’t know what power he is giving me.

“Alright.” I lower the hand but don’t let it go. Instead I lace our fingers and tilt my head towards the entrance. He nods and we head inside, hands still together. I pass our tickets to the attendant and he smiles knowingly at us. Stopping by the concession we pick up our usual of two slurpees (red and blue of course) and an extra large bucket of popcorn free of charge. I love having friends in high places. We get to the appropriate screen, finding seats in the back. The theater isn’t that crowded and we end up getting the back three rows to ourselves. Due to my impeccable timing, we get situated just as the lights dim and previews start. There are a couple movie coming out that we might see. They get thumbs up from both of us. There are some silly ones that get a thumb up from Egbert but a down from me. I’ll probably end up seeing them anyways because when can I say no to the boy.

The movie turns out to be tolerable by my standpoint which means that Egbert probably won’t shut up about awesome it was(n’t) for a good week. I am pretty sure I could write better humor and get some actors that don’t come off as stilted or cheesy. In fact, my Alpha version apparently did. He managed to turn Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff into an amazing masterpiece of film. Several actually. Dirk let me watch his copies. They were epic. Unfortunately Dirk’s Bro put in too many Batter Witch warnings to try and replicate them here. I don’t understand how post-scratch civilization didn’t see them until it was too late. They were so obvious. Now it’s a new universe, but same level as stupidity as proven by this movie.

We leave the theater with Egbert grinning like the fool that he is, clutching my hand, and bouncing around like Nepeta on a sugar high. Actually it’s not that bad. Nepeta’s sugar high is a truly terrifying thing.

* * *

When we get back to the apartment, I challenge Egbert to a race up the stairs. We live on the thirteenth floor of the fourth building. Our apartment number is 413B. Rezi appreciated this a lot more than we did. But thirteen flights of stairs turns the race from speed to endurance, making my flash stepping useless. It’s about fifty/fifty win ratio between us, but I think I have a five win streak behind me going into this race.

We storm up the stairs, elbowing each other on the landings to get the inside turn. By the seventh floor we are grinning like mad fools and laughing like crazy and I'm pretty sure the rose died heroically a few flights back, but we are neck and neck and it's fantastic.

When we get up to our floor we basically hit the landing at the same time and I get a step ahead. Well, I am ahead until I feel two hammer arms wrap around my waist and fucking tackle me to the ground. We hit the ground hard, but are scrambling to get to our feet seconds later. He manages to yank me back at just the right moment as he surges forward enough to slap the door with a shout of "WIN!" In defeat and victory we collapse together in a big sweaty laughing gasping mess. As soon as I catch my breath, he takes it away again. His lips are on mine and his hands are in my hair and he just feels good. My hands grab his shirt and pull him close. I am on fire. I mean everywhere there was contact there was heat, even through the clothes. He grips my hair and I moan. I'm not even trying to keep quiet. And neither is he. My hands slide from his front to the back and then down to his waist, pulling him against me. Oh fuck, is that? Yes, yes that is. That reminds me that we are in the hallway and we should probably move inside but fuck this feels so good. I don't want to ever leave, this is my new favorite thing. I feel like I'm am over using that phrase but as we progress it feels better each time.

"Inside. Now." I gasp out.

"Do we have to?" he murmurs against my lips, pulling a groan out of me.

"Fuck. Yea, yea we do." My hands linger for a moment at his sides before moving to push at his chest weakly. He does pull away but just to hover over me, arms on either side of me.

"You look hot," he tells me softly with that deep rumble of his. I can only imagine how I look but he looks deliciously gorgeous to me. His eyes are that wide deep blue, his lips are red and swollen, his hair is falling into his face, and he is a hot mess.

"Inside."

He pushes up and off of me and I instantly feel cold without his heat. I also get my feet as he unlocks the door. We step inside and as soon as that door closes, I pin him against it. My hips press up to his eliciting more moans from both throats. My hands cradle his face as I smother him with kisses. I feel his hands brush up my torso under the jacket. As he reaches my shoulders and tries to push the jacket off, I step away from him. He whines at me but doesn't follow, still leaning up against the door.

"Ask me out." John stares at me blankly. "For the second date. It's yours if you ask me out."

It's fun seeing his brain try to create the coherent thought. Finally enough sense comes together and he asks, "Dave, will you go out on a date with me tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Good, now get back here and kiss me."

"No." I turn on my heel and walk quickly to my room. He stays there stunned for a moment before rushing after me, but I reach my door before he can and close it after myself, locking it.

"Dave! Wha-why?" It sounds like he is pressed up against the door and I can hear the rattle of the knob as he tests it against the lock.

"School night. Plus you'd think me easy if I put out after the first date."

"Daaaaaaaave!" Whines are not supposed to sound that sexy, especially with the spider-bitch influence on it.

I took a deep breath. "No, John. I want to... to court you and do this properly and that means interrupting hot crazy sexy makeouts to prevent it from going too fast. You are perfect John and I want you so bad, but if I don't lock myself in my room right now, I won't stop and right now that doesn't sound like a bad thing but I absolutely don't want the awkward morning after so I am putting the brakes on this thing and... and..."

"Dave," his voice is soft and sympathetic. "I understand. Tonight was amazing. The date was perfect and sweet and romantic. I can't quite describe it, but being with you feels so right. I never got this sensation from anyone else I tried to date. I'm not scared of this, and I really like the idea of you courting me." I could hear the grin in his voice. "So if you want to take it slower, we will, but you need to come out of that room and kiss me properly goodnight."

"Yea, I guess I could do that." I stand up and open the door. He’s standing there kind of meekly and definitely disheveled. He doesn’t jump me which I guess is good sign. “So you really enjoyed the date?”

“I asked you out on a second, didn’t I?”

“Yea, I guess you did.” I stepped forward and put my hands lightly on his waist. His hands go to the outside of my upper arms. He tilts his head up to me and I lean down to him. Our lips meet in a sweet, romantic kiss. It still has the passion from before but we keep it in check. We kiss softly for several moments before pulling away. “Good night, John.”

“Good night, Dave.”


	12. Chapter 12

I duck back into my room and close the door softly. I dig my phone out of my pocket and turn it back on. There are several gray messages waiting and a purple one.

CG: WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR BROTHER CALLING ME WISE AND HONORABLE? AND WHY WOULD HE DIRECT ME TO YOU FOR ANSWERS?

CG: YOU BETTER NOT BE TRYING TO INVOLVE HIM IN OUR HATE. HE KEEPS SENDING ME WHAT HIS PEA BRAIN MUST THINK SUBTLE HINTS OF DISTURBING SCENARIOS. AND THEY ARE IN RAP FORM WITH THINKPAN ROTTING PUNS. THE DISGUSTING BASTARD NEEDS TO KEEP HIS PRIVATE AFFAIRS TO HIMSELF.

CG: OH GOG, HE IS STILL TRYING TO TALK TO ME.

CG: MAKE HIM STOP.

CG: WILL YOU CARE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT A SIMPLE FUCK YOU IN HIS GENERAL DIRECTION AT HIM AND HIS MATESPRIT IS NOT A BLACK ROM SOLICITATION? WHAT IS IT WITH STRIDERS AND TRYING TO SUCK MY BONE BULGE.

CG: WHY AREN’T YOU FUCKING ANSWERING ME?

CG: OH FUCK YOU, YOU ARE ON YOUR DATE AREN’T YOU?

CG: WELL WHEN YOU ARE DONE SUCKING FACE WITH THE HEIR OF DORK, TELL YOUR BULGE MUNCHING FUCKASS OF A BROTHER TO GET OFF MY ASS.

Well, it seems that Dirk is enjoying trolling my angry little kismesis. Isn’t that cute?

TT: I am getting strange bursts of exuberance and joy from the direction of you and John. Is everything alright?

I smirk and start up my computer. Sure enough, tentacleTherapist is online and obviously waiting for the precious words of a Strider to fill her screen with glorious red.

\-- turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up tentacleTherapist [ TT ] --

TG: sup

TG: so why would strange bursts of exuberance and joy make you question if everything was alright

TG: i would think that exuberance and joy would be good things and that you’d want to get a part of the action

TG: i mean seriously cant two guys get their happy on without something going wrong

TG: and i still get a touch weirded out that you can sense our emotions

TG: at least it isnt full fledged voyeurism

TG: like the trolls

TG: because that would be awkward

TG: i might be something of an exhibitionist but not for my ecto sis

TG: thats wrong on more levels than even bro or dirk would broach

TG: and thats pretty impressive based on what i lived with and what vantas is apparently being bombarded with

TG: but to return to the original point

TG: john and i are alright fine good great awesome

TT: The fact that you just used his first name instead of his last name is of obvious significance.

TG: well thats his name isnt it

TG: why would it be of obvious significance

TT: Nevermind.

TT: So what is causing these unusual surges of emotion from you and John?

TT: Normally I wouldn’t mind, but these are actually manifesting reactions from me.

TG: reactions

TG: like what

TG: im intrigued

TT: I giggle.

TG: alert the media lalonde is giggling

TT: You may find it funny, but it makes for some awkward situations. I cannot seem to control it at times.

TT: So please elucidate me on what has changed in your current situation.

TG: john kissed me

TG: we went on a date

TG: he asked me on a second date

TT: Ah.

TT: That explains a lot.

TT: Well, congratulations.

TT: And now that you have settled my fears, I shall try to keep my emotional voyeurism down to a minimum.

TT: Just be careful.

TG: im not going to hurt him

TT: Ever the selfless Knight. Good night, Dave.

TG: ever the enigmatic flighty broad night lalonde

\-- turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased chatting up tentacleTherapist [ TT ] --

 

\-- turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] --

TG: i didnt fuck up

CG: CONGRATULATIONS FUCKASS

CG: DO YOU WANT A FUCKING GOLD STAR OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I’M A LITTLE FUCKING BUSY FENDING YOUR FUCKNUT OF A BROTHER OFF!

TG: actually since you keep mentioning it i do want a star

TG: a gold sparkly one with good job written out in confetti across it so that i can put it up on my wall and admire it every time i go to sleep thinking about how awesome i am

CG: I’LL GET YOU A THREE FOOT WIDE ONE WITH ALL THE FUCKING PINK HEARTS I CAN GLUE TO ITS SURFACE AND MOUNT IT MYSELF IF YOU TELL YOUR FUCKING BROTHER TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] ceased chatting up turntechGodhead [ TG ] --

 

\-- turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up timaeusTestified [ TT ] --

TG: dude

TG: trolling a troll

TG: so overdone its not even ironic anymore

TT: And that is what makes it perfectly ironic.

TG: heh

TG: okay

TG: but hes asking me to help him so you must be laying it on pretty damn thick

TT: He started it.

TG: simply talking to you starts things with you

TG: if you dont lay off hell send his attack puppy at you

TT: Jade? What is she going to do? Cuddle me to death?

TG: dont be an ass you saw her in battle shes almost as bad as makara when she gets going

TT: Fine. I got my irony in. I will lay off your black-flush boy-enemy.

TT: How is the red-flush boyfriend thing going?

TG: good

TG: first date down

TG: second date tomorrow

TG: and i hear your red is going well too

TT: Yes. Do you want any tips?

\-- turntechGodhead [ TG ] has blocked timaeusTestified [ TT ] --

* * *

TG: what are you wearing

EB: what??? uh... right now? jeans and a t-shirt. why? what are you wearing?

TG: currently boxers

EB: DAVE! i’m in class!

TG: but im trying to figure out what to wear tonight

TG: dude im not sexting you

EB: oh, well, if you were going to, that would be a good way to start...

TG: so noted

TG: but seriously

TG: plans for tonight or at least outfit i should wear

EB: uhhhh...

TG: youre not going to stand me up on our second date are you

TG: dude

TG: egbert

TG: not funny

TG: terrible prank

TG: its been like thirty minutes now

TG: its not like i caught you between classes

TG: john

Fuck, I’m really trying not to panic as I sit here in the apartment, literally lounging in my boxers, waiting for blue text to answer me. I lunge at my phone when it goes off.

EB: wear something you can get dirty in. ;)

EB: and sorry for the delay! i had to come up with an idea. i’m not as smooth as dave strider with pre-planned dates already lined up in my head.

TG: no one is as smooth as dave strider

TG: and i didnt the plan already planned i just pull things together quickly

TG: so when you say dirty do you mean sexy dirty or mucky dirty

EB: uhhhh, mucky dirty.

EB: though now i want to see what you mean by sexy dirty!

TG: later

TG: now pay attention to class egderp

EB: ...

EB: <3

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.


	13. Chapter 13

Even on Fridays, Egbert has a lot of classes but they do end a little earlier. When he comes home just after three I greet him at the door with two red roses wrapped in blue tissue paper. He grins like he did yesterday though this time we are dressed much more casually. He’s in a simple pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt with an opened blue shirt over it. I’m in a really ratty pair of jeans that have been ripped and repaired too many times. They are kind of tight but in a broken-in make-my-ass-look-good kind of way. I have a baggy sweatshirt jacket in my signature red over a faded graphic tee. I’ve had this shirt for so long I can’t remember if the graphic was supposed to be that distressed or if at one point it was shiny and new. And finally my signature glasses. Wearing them inside in the middle of the day is acceptable.

“Dave! You aren’t supposed to give me flowers when it’s my date!”

“Says who?”

“Says me. You claimed the last date because you asked so I claim this date because I asked.”

“Just take the damn flowers and appreciate the gesture.” He does take the flowers with a kiss. “Now where are we going that I have to prepare for dirty of the sexless kind? Though mud could be sexy in some situations and a Strider is always sexy no matter what.”

“Are you up for some shooting?”

“Never thought of massacre as particular romantic though I suppose there was a Valentine’s Day Massacre. I wonder if that happened in this universe. Was it human Al Capone or troll Al Capone? I’m betting troll. Probably a blue or purple blood. No, cerulean blood after our dear spider bitch.”

“Don’t hemotype, Dave. That’s rude. And we aren’t going to kill anyone. Or at least I hope not.” I simply smirk at him, assuaging none of his fears. “We're gonna go paintballing!"

"Cool." That is actually a great date idea. I'm actually jealous that he came up with it.

"Let me get changed and then we'll head out."

"Sounds good."

* * *

It's not very crowded when we get to the fields, but just enough people to have two full games running. There are six different arenas set up with unique obstacles ranging from very natural forest terrain to standard barrels and bunkers of more urban layouts. We get our equipment and go to get separated into teams. There are four colors of armbands, yellow, purple, pink, and green. No red or blue. At least they aren’t not red and blue. We decide on pink and help each other put the bands on our upper arms. We are going up against the green team in the urban arena.

We put on our masks and separate to opposite sides of the arena and wait for the game master/referee to give us the signal. At his arm drop, Egbert charges forward with a war cry that would give Atilla the Troll a run for his money. Anticipating that I flash step in the other direction moving quickly up the field while the other team is distracted by the dork. I cover him and take out anyone stupid enough to pop up to take a shot at him. I get five before Egbert gets to the central barrier laughing and breathing hard. He leans back against it and catches his breath. I can see his huge grin behind his mask. I flash over to him and sit next to him.

"How many did ya get?"

"Five."

"Man, last time we got like a hundred."

"Last time we were facing an army of carapaces, drones, and dark demigods with super powers and ridiculously powerful weapons."

"Yea,” he thinks about it for a beat, “I don't miss that."

"Good. But all that makes this easy. Ready?"

"Ready."

"Boom."

We burst into action. He moves right and I move left. The opposing team had taken the moment to position themselves behind anything they could. Our team had moved forward as well but we didn't care, we don’t need them. Within ten minutes we wipe them out. Egbert gets nine and I take about eight additional. Our team is cheering for us as we walk triumphantly back to our side for round two.

We change it up and snuck around the edges as our team attempts to copy our first tactics. Too many people run forward into the paint filled bullets without the skill of my coverage. But hey, at least they try. Egbert and I clean up as we flank them with a handful of surrenders. Egbert get the last one and I congratulate him with a kiss.

Round three. We sit back until our team heads out and then we swarm the opponent with no mercy. Green team never had a chance.

Our team is clapping us on the back and giving us kudos. Even members of green were talking with us about our skills. We have to wait a round for the other two teams to finish, taking the moment to refill the air tanks and ammo. For the next game the pink team is paired against yellow on a wooden bunker course. They go down almost as easily as the green team except they have two experienced players. They take us an extra three minutes to take out. There is one scenario where I am pinned down behind a flimsy wall until Egbert can maneuver over to where he can get both of them easily. When he comes back to the starting side, I reward my hero with a swoon and a kiss. John laughs at me but catches me in those strong arms and kisses me until we start getting wolf whistles from the peanut gallery.

End of game two leaves pink undefeated and Egbert and I untouched. People keep asking us if we had played before and we tell them no, not this game. I catch a flicker of something in John’s eyes when he says that, but then he’s back to his cheerful happy self. Pink versus purple doesn’t change our status and they put up the least of a fight.

Afterwards, everyone gathers together to see if anyone wants to switch up teams since everyone had faced everyone now. Masks are off and armbands are piling up from people who were ready to go home. One of the two experienced players turns towards the ref but gestures to us, “These two haven’t been hit yet! I say they get a team to themselves ‘til we nail them!” The arm he’s gesturing with is the one with his gun. The fucking curly horned troll ends up pointing it directly at John’s face. The moron has it uncapped and no one has masks on and I am fucking pissed. I knock the gun away so hard that it crashes out of his hands and onto the ground.

“Watch where you point that thing, fucker,” I growl at him. I don’t think I’ve felt this angry since the game. There is real primal fear in his yellow and olive eyes as he scrambles back as fast as he can.

“Sorry, dude! Sorry!”

There is a soft hand on my shoulder and I instantly relax down, my neutral face falling back into place. I casually join John where he is sitting on the table, but my eyes never leave the troll.

“I don’t think everyone versus us would be fair odds. There ain’t enough of you to take us out,” I reply as if the scene between the troll and I had never happened.

Egbert just laughs and bumps into me with his big grin. “We aren’t that good! But it would be a fun challenge. What does everyone think?” There is a half second as everyone tries to wrap their brains around what just happened and what the two of us are suggesting. Soon there is resounding support for the idea and the referee finally agrees to it since Egbert and I are also game. Not everyone joins in, but there is a sizable army going for our heads as the game handler takes us over to the large neighboring forest that will serve as our arena. The rules are explained, it will be one round, no time limit, one life each, and then we are sent to opposite sides. There is a wooden fortress marking the start points.

“Offense or defense?”

“Offense of course! Have to give them a chance to hit us.”

“Okay, friendleader, what is the plan?”

“Win?”

“Sounds good.” The whistle sounds to start the match. I salute Egbert and then flash-step into the hunt. There is a particular olive troll that will get no mercy. I find a fairly open area in the middle of the boundary but no one is brave enough to use the constructed barriers there yet. Everyone is sticking to the edges. I take a couple of warning shots at some movement and duck away before they can realize where the volley came from. Within seconds I have flanked them and taken out the pair. I am already moving onto next targets as they cap their guns and exit with hands high in the air. I see someone hunkered down the base of a wide, leaning tree, but she keeps glancing up instead of looking around for Egbert or I. I follow her gaze up and see the olive troll trying to situate himself in the fucking tree. Really? He’s not even going to run for me? Oh well.

I ignore the girl at the bottom because she’s obviously supposed to be his lookout and will shout if I nail her. Instead I move to an angle where I can see most of the troll. I take my time lining up the shot and then let out a volley of shots, trailing them from his head, down his arm, hip, leg, and even nailing him in the ankle where his pants had been pulled up. That’s going to bite. He shouts in pain and startles himself out of the tree, landing hard. He’s going to bruise nicely. I clean up with a single shot on the girl and move on.

After taking out a handful more, I loop back around to where Egbert is working, based on where his victims were walking from. I find him on the edge of the clearing just casually working his side, taking shots at nothing to keep it interesting. When I am close enough, I flash-step to his side. He doesn’t jump but just looks up at me with those big blue eyes shining behind the goggles and that dorky heart stopping grin behind the mask.

“Are they actually trying?”

“Nope. Doesn’t seem like it. Though they are grouping up over there.” He tilts his head in a certain direction.

“Wanna go crash the party?”

“Sounds like fun.”

We rush in using the same tactic as our first game. Egbert yelling his head off and I’m taking out all that I see. There are like twenty of them hiding in a close group of trees with a couple of chest high walls surrounding it. Actually pretty good ground to attack from and hard to attack. We get to the ring of walls and I duck behind it. Egbert crashes down heavily next me; for a second, I thought the wall was going to fall over. I glance over at him and see silver on his chest. I have the weirdest sensation of deja vu. Like that might have happened in the game, but a doomed version of me didn’t let it happen in the game. I’m just grateful that the paintball management here uses blood neutral paint.

“Dude.”

He looks down at himself pulling his jacket away from his chest to see the wound better. He slumps against the wall almost limply. He reaches over to me and I lean towards him. He grabs my jacket pulling me until I almost fall over, bracing myself with a hand on his leg. “Go... on... without... me...” he attempts, but the shit eating grin sorta ruins the effect. But I play along anyways.

“I’m not gonna leave you behind. We can get out of this hell. Just hang on!”

“No, I’m not... gonna... make it. You have to survive. Just... know that... I...” and then like the cinematic cliches that he loves, he slumps over in feigned death.

I run my fingers over his goggles as if I was closing his eyes. “I will avenge you. You will not have died in vain, good soldier.” I lift my gun up and storm the grouping with mad flash stepping skills that Bro would have been proud of. I take out the rest of them with little fanfare in exactly sixty three seconds. Half of them were distracted by their own cheering when they saw Egbert walk out with his hands up. After they have cleared out in defeat, I wait a couple moments for the referee to call the game but he doesn’t. Huh, someone must still be hiding out here with me. I do a quick sweep of the woods, but I don’t find anyone and don’t draw any shots. I am fairly visible in red. I set up on the edge of the clearing, waiting for the sucker to reveal him or herself.

Exactly three minutes and forty two seconds later, my back explodes in pain. Like holy fuck. It’s not nearly as bad as the in-game fuckery that we went through but after not experiencing that for a long while, this fucking hurts! I spin around ready to take the fuck out when I stop dead in my tracks. Blue.

“Surrender?” Egbert asks cheekily like three feet away, gun lowered and not a threat at all. Well not a threat anymore. How the fuck did he get that close to me without me noticing? I have shamed the Strider name, Bro, I am sorry.

“A little fucking late for that,” I growl at him, trying to remember that I love this guy and don’t actually want to rip his throat out. He probably blames my tone on the pain, because he’s smiling like usual.

“Like you would have surrendered. Striders never surrender, remember.” He’s so cheerful, like he should get a prize for remembering something about me. Like he didn’t just fucking shoot me in the back.

“I would have surrendered to you,” I reply softly. And fuck me if that isn’t the truth.

His face freezes for a moment. “Oh.” That megawatt smile dims just a hair at the realization that follows the processing.

“Come on.” I get up from my crouch. “You get to walk me out of here like your trophy kill. Like I should be headed to a taxidermist to be stuffed and mounted on your wall for you to relish and stare at and relate the harrowing tale of my doom to little kids who look up at you with wide eyes and drooling open mouths. Actually I think I am pulling inspiration from Grandpa Harley, so that’s probably more English’s thing. Don’t ever be like English.” I passed Egbert my gun and put my hands on my head in surrender and headed over to the entrance of the arena where everyone was waiting.

“You know, I never really believed Jade about her grandfather until I met Jake. Then it all made perfect sense.”

“I had the same epiphany, dude.”

We finally reach the exit with many cheers from the slain army at Egbert’s victory.

“Hey, he just surrendered! You were supposed to shoot him!” the olive troll complains. He is really getting on my nerves. But as I glanced over at Egbert, he twirls his finger and I turn around for the group, showing off the silver on my back from where Egbert shot me way too close. That shit is going to bruise; I can already feel several knots forming from where the individual balls hit me. The paint raises another round of cheers much to Egbert’s pleasure. Even my smirk gets a little genuine at that.

Everyone is done for the night. We turn in our stuff, and I do let Egbert pay for it since this was his date. On the way home we stop at a cute little diner that serves awesome hamburgers and shakes. Egbert always makes fun of me about the way I like to eat my shakes, but the salt from the fries are perfect with the creamy sweetness of the shakes. Egbert calls me weird for dipping my fries into the shakes, but can’t back that up with any actual validating facts. My proof is delicious.


	14. Chapter 14

We actually get inside of the apartment this time and even get to the couch before falling into each other’s arms. The exertion that we put into paintballing is slowly catching up with us. I’m not complaining (that much) because it’s keeping the sloppy makeouts down to a reasonable range and not the passionate almost out of hand session last night.

Instead we take our time starting with sweet soft kisses. I let myself melt against him. He is thick to my thin. We are both solid but our muscles are shaped to our skills. His are from the raw strength needed to swing hammers. He doesn’t do that anymore but he still goes to the gym to keep it up. My arms and legs stay lean and are built for speed. The wide shoulders Bro had and Dirk has got mitigated by Roxy’s genes so I am all slender whiplashed curves. Even despite our differences (or because of them), Egbert and I fit together perfectly. His hands rest on my waist and mine dive into that thick mess of his hair. Our lips slip and slide against each other with delicious friction. I lean my torso against his thick chest and take advantage of my height to make him tilt his head up to me.

His hands begin to roam up and down my sides, curling around my back and even briefly to my ass. Holding his head in place I leaned down and trailed my kisses from those sweet soft lips to the slightly scruffy skin along his jawline. I relish the roughness against my lips as I work my way back up towards his ear, tilting his head to give me better access. His pleasured sigh passes by my ear. I change it to a gasp as I pull the bottom of his earlobe into my mouth and run my tongue along its edge. I graze it with my teeth causing him to grab tightly onto me in turn causing me to moan.

The cycle of pleasure continues until he can take no more and grabs my face to kiss it hard. The intensity of it belies his passion and it takes my breath away. When I finally get a grasp of myself, I realize I need to tone it down before it gets too far again. I reach up and grab one of his hands, pulling it away but not far. I turn my head towards it and begin nuzzling his palm as I did at the movie theater. I let my lips drift over the heel of his hand and then lightly trace the creases across his palm with the tip of my tongue. I can feel the shudder move through his body. I move up along each of his fingers and place kisses at the tips. I smirk at him over his hand. His mouth is hanging open and eyes are half lidded. That look is pure sex. Oh that reminds me, I need to be taking my leave soon. Before I just take.

I release his hand and lean in again for another soft sweet kiss, relishing in the softness that is John. I keep the kisses almost chaste to let the sexual tension back down. Eventually he relaxes against me. I don’t think it’s just from my ministrations. I pull back and I can see the sleep trying to close his eyes.

“Time for bed, sweetheart.”

“Huh? No.” He furrows his brows at me and it’s disturbingly cute. I press a kiss to his forehead.

“Yes.”

“Want more...” I raise an eyebrow at him. “More Strider kisses,” he yawns, stretching out that last word.

I smile at him. “Babe, you’ll get plenty of Strider kisses. But you really should be awake in order to fully enjoy them and you are about to nod off mid-make out.” I slip out of his arms. It’s really not that hard as tired as he is. I get to my feet and reach a hand down to him. After I pull him up, he falls into my arms. It’s sweet how he tucks his head into my collarbone. “Come on. All the way to bed.” Together we shuffle to his room and I kiss him a couple more times to get him to let me go. I have to force myself to abscond as he starts to take off his shirt. I am still treated to the beautiful expanse of his bare back, the muscles stretched as his arms were caught in the shirt above his head. Quickly I close his door and go to my own room.

As I lean against the door, I wince as the pressure sets off the stinging on my back. Must be from where Egbert shot me, the sweetheart. I walk over to the mirror and pull my shirt up over my head. Looking over my shoulder, I get a glimpse of my back. Hoo boy, yea. Egbert did a number on me. I can see bruising marking where each ball of paint hit before bursting. It’s going to be pretty impressive by morning. I trade out my jeans with pajama pants, then head to bathroom to pop two painkillers and to brush my teeth. After that, I detour to Egbert’s room. I can hear deep snoring coming to from within. Smiling I return to my room, crawl into my bed, and fall asleep.

 

* * *

I wake up to shrieks coming from the other room. They don’t sound like they are coming from the throat of a young man whose voice normally rumbles through the bass tones. These are shrieks coming from a thirteen year old scared kid. There is no hesitation from me and I am in John’s room in seconds. He’s thrashing on the bed and screaming at shadows in his head. I rip the covers off of him to free his tangled limbs. That helps a bit but he’s still whimpering and crying out as the nightmare won’t let him go. I try to get in close to him to hold him, but he’s still flailing a bit an I catch an elbow to the cheekbone before I can get to his torso. I wrap my arms around his chest and pull him up close to my breaking heart.

“John, John, come back, babe. It’s okay. We are safe. We aren’t in the game anymore. You don’t have to fight. You don’t have to play anymore. John, oh John.” I constantly murmur into his ear, trying to break the hold that the nightmare has on him. It’s so painful to know that this beautiful innocent soul was put through such hell. People like John don’t deserve that. “Hey it’s me, Dave. I got you. You’re safe. Come on, wake up. Please stop crying, please stop screaming. I got you. I’ll never go away. Let me save you. I’ll always save you. I love you. I love you so much John. John John John, please.” I dissolve down into nonsensical words and thoughts, but as long as he’s still crying like this, I won’t stop. After several long minutes he starts to calm down. Usually this is a good sign, but this time the whimpering continues and a sob catches his voice every so often.

“Dave... I’m sorry Dave... Don’t die Dave...” his voice is soft and sad. “Dave... no... no, no, no... Not again!” He jerks awake with the final shout.

“John! It’s okay. I’m okay.” He feels the arms around his chest and clutches at them with his hands. They are cold and clammy.

“Dave,” his voice is still small and young.

“John, it’s alright. It’s over. It’s okay, John.” I brush my lips over his ear, trying to keep my voice as comforting as possible. I can feel him shudder with the remnants of the nightmare but his heart rate and breathing is returning to normal. “I’m right here. I got you.”

“You’ve always had me, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” John pushes up against me slightly and grips my arms tighter. I simply hold him and squeeze a little back. Once again I find myself wishing that I could save him from all of the hurt of the world, the universe, that fucking game.

“It was a bad one,” he starts again softly. John always tells me his nightmares. I don’t ever share mine. “I saw every time you saved me. Every time you died to save me.” Not me but my doomed selves, I realize. “But instead of being the one saved, I was the one shooting. I shot you over and over and over. Do you know how many times you saved me? I killed you each time. I killed you. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop shooting. Dave, Dave, Dave... forgive me.” I hold onto him tightly as he breaks down into sobs.

“Nothing to forgive, John. You didn’t kill me. I’m right here.” When he calms again, I shift him to the side so that he is sideways on my lap. One of my arms wraps around his broad back. The other hand cups his cheek and pulls his face up to mine in a soft kiss. He tastes sweet and salty from his tears. I release him when I feel him relax against me. “You know, I’ve always wanted to do that. Kiss you to make you feel better after a nightmare.”

“Now I wish you had. That really helped.” He tucks his head under my chin, resting his cheek against my collarbone.

“I’m glad. You gonna be okay?”

“Yea... yea, I’ll live.”

“Living and being okay are two different things.”

“Just keep holding me and I’ll be okay.”

“Like I’d let you go.” We fall into silence still wrapped together. My head rests on top of his and my arms around his shoulders. He has one hand closed against my chest and the other one tucked between us. He is sitting in between my legs with one of mine going behind him and one going under his knees. Our warmth together keeps the night chill from bothering us despite our lack of clothes. Because of the nightmares, we are actually fairly used to being close together in just our sleep pants.

Just as I feel sleep creeping back into my body John asks, “Do you think they regret it?”

“Who?”

“The ones who died for me. Dave, do you how many there were?”

“They don’t regret it, John. They’d never regret it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. They were me, and I’d never regret dying for you. I’d do anything to keep you safe, John. I did everything I could. Just so I could hold you like this. There are no regrets because this is worth it.”

“I’m so glad it’s over.”

“Me too.” Finally sleep overtakes us.


	15. Chapter 15

Some time during the night we apparently got cold and recovered the blankets that I removed last night. We also ended up laying down together. We aren’t as entangled by the time consciousness finds me once again. I’m okay with waking up to this. We are simply facing each other with our arms crossing in the space between us. I don’t move as I look at his sleeping face, I hardly dare breathe because I don’t want to disturb him. He seems so relaxed and at peace when he sleeps, barring any nightmares. He still has that slightly boyish look to him that he’ll probably keep with him until he’s old and wrinkled, but he has nice bone structure that emerged through puberty. Strong forehead and cheekbones and a well defined jawline with just a hint of scruff from the night. He has such a straight nose unlike mine (thanks Bro for breaking it a couple times) and such kissable lips. Full without being puffy and always smiling. And those blue eyes...

Blue eyes that are currently staring back at me.

“Dave? What happened to your face?”

“Huh?” I untangle a hand and rub my face, wincing when I put pressure on my cheekbone. “Oh. Elbow.”

“From my nightmare,” he realizes. I can see the emotions that darken those beautiful bright eyes bubbling to the surface.

“This is nothing,” I say quickly, trying to get him out of the coming slump. “You should see what you did to my back.”

“Where I shot you... in the back.” I watch as he collapses further. Fuck that was his dream. Fuck.

“Okay, so paintballing is off the date list.”

"What?" He looks startled. "You didn't like it? You should have said something."

"Shit, Egbert. I enjoyed it, I really did. It was awesome. I said that last night like at least twenty times and I’ll say it again. It was awesome. We kicked ass.” I gave him a quick smirk but then returned to a more serious expression and tone. “But if it's going to give you nightmares about shooting me, then it’s off the list. We can put a checkmark next to it and then forget it.”

“We don’t have to do that.”

“We do if you are going to get all mopey about giving me my war wounds. I mean you haven’t even asked to see how epic my back is.”

“How epic is your back?”

I roll/fall into the space between us as Egbert sits up. I’m assuming that my back is a beautiful mess of purple, green, and yellow from what I saw last night. He reaches out and lightly grazes his fingertips across my skin. It feels good as he just caresses around the bruise. I now know where the edges of the marks are based on his tracings. He briefly crosses over the damage with his palm and I can feel my muscles relax. I think he does too because he starts giving my entire back the same treatment, skimming with the hand that isn’t propping him up. He starts at the center and then moves up to the shoulders, swirling back down over the shoulder blades and down my spine. I shiver when he circles over my lower back.

“Do you like that?” he asks softly and a bit hesitantly like I am going to run away. Little does he know that I am a pile of jelly right now and couldn’t possibly dream of moving away. I also note that rumbly tone that he gets when he is enjoying something.

“Yea. Feels nice,” I murmur into the pillow. “Don’t stop.”

He chuckles at me but doesn’t stop the movement of his hand. Instead he applies a little more pressure until he is basically massaging the muscles of my back. I try and fail at stifling a groan of pleasure and appreciation.

His hand stops moving but doesn’t leave and I am about to whine about it when I feel his weight shift and suddenly I have an Egbert on my ass. I have never been happier to say such an absurd statement. He is straddling my hips and now is working my lower back with both hands. Those large warm paws of his are the best thing ever. Long piano fingers cover so much territory. The strength in those fingers chase away all soreness deep in the muscles. I moan with abandon at the wonderful feelings. He laughs again but I don’t care, I am in heaven. I am in Egbert’s bed while he sits on my ass giving me a backrub. If I wasn’t already a pile of mush, I would be now. I am pretty sure I am becoming boneless under Egbert’s ministrations.

I have no control over my verbal functions when I let a “I love you” smother itself into the pillow. Shit.

"What was that?" He leans over me. His hips roll forward pulling a groan from me.

"Nothing." His hands glide up to my shoulders.

"It wasn't nothing." His chest is almost touching my back.

"Nothing."

"Tell me, Dave." He's leaning all the over and his lips are brushing against my ear. "Please?"

That isn't fair. So isn't fair. That sweet deep voice being that sexy should be illegal. My brain shorts out completely and I comply to his request. "I love you. I love you hands. I love your touch. I love your hammer arms. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love your voice. I love your eyes. I love your blue."

"You love my blue?"

"Yes." I am mortified that I let that all out.

"How does that work?"

"I don't know. You just fill my brain with blue sometimes. Just don't ask. Just accept it."

"Okay." He leans back a little and works his delicious magic on my shoulders. After a few minutes he's so good that I begin to lose track of time. _I_ lose track of _time_. This boy is magic. And I tell him so, though it came out as garbled vowels. John leans over and I feel his lips on my neck and I moan out loud. His hips rock lightly against my ass and the tone of the moment changes.

His hands move down my shoulders to follow my arms. His lips stay on my neck, planting kisses under my hair. He rocks a little more confidently against me and I rock back against him. The moan in response is pure sex. I do it again just for that sound. He puts his weight against me. The bruises twinge a little, but it’s worth the heat of skin against skin. He covers my body like a blanket. He sucks lightly at the soft skin of my neck. I feel like my body is on fire. I have never been this turned on before. My blood sings. He rocks his hips again, his hardness sliding smoothly in the groove of my ass. My brain instantly goes to imagine him sliding into me. No no no. Brain stop that. Not yet. I struggle a little to get away, but I am trapped against his bed. That thought goes straight down and makes me even harder. I struggle a bit more because if this continues...

“Surrender,” he murmurs into my ear. And it’s not a question but a command. Fuck, it shouldn’t be that hot, but it makes me stop all movement.

“John. You sure?”

“Couldn’t be more.” His breath is hot and heavy at my ear. He pushes his hips hard against me and oh there goes my mind along with the loudest moan to date that escapes me. Traitors.

“Turn over... Let me turn over,” I gasp back at him.

“Promise not to run away?”

“Promise. Please. I want to kiss you and touch you and let me turn over, John,” I plead. It really shouldn’t be this easy for him to turn me into this begging mess but I can’t help it.

“I don’t know, I sort of like you like this.” He rolls his hips sharply and I push mine back against him. “And I think you like this too.”

My response is just a bunch of moans as I rock between the bed and John. He matches my pace, gripping my arms. His breath gets more irregular and that heat at my core was building up. This all feels way too good. There is no way I am going to last much longer like this. I desperately want to touch him, kiss him, hold him but the way he has me trapped prevents all of that and all I can do is hump and grind against him like a bitch in heat.

“Dave...” his voice is entirely a deep rumble “Dave, say my name.”

Who am I to deny what the Heir wants. “John. John. John!” As I cry his name out, he locks his hips against me and moans with a shuddering sigh. All of this together sets me off as well and I cum into my boxers against the bed.

Eventually our bodies relax and John collapses on me as a very limp hot heavy sweaty mess. It takes me a couple minutes more to actually care, but when I do, I find it fairly easy to roll him off to the side. He doesn’t even complain. Once free, I flop back down and relish the feeling of cool air against my overheated skin. My pants feel kinda disgusting but the endorphins in my system won’t let me care about that just yet.

“That... was... amazing...” John tells me breathlessly.

“What did you think it was going to be like with a Strider? We are the gods of all that is hot, sexy, and amazing. There is no other outcome possible. You are destined to have your mind blown to utter and complete satisfaction any time a Strider graces you with a romp in the sheets.” I am amazed at my ability to say a complete sentence with how high I feel. Cloud nine was a couple hundred floors ago.

“You graced me? Dude, you would have bolted with your strange ass sense of chivalry if I had given you a chance.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to indulge in the romance here. You are the fir-” Yep, need to reign in control over my voice. I forgot how bad my post orgasm rambling gets.

“I’m not your first though. Or did I sex you hard enough that you forgot about Karkat?”

“I didn’t forget about him. But that’s the hate side. That was sorta spawned by boredom and hormones. This is different.” I swallow hard, hesitating on what I want to say next, but I guess I really don’t have to hide my heart anymore. “This is different because you are my first red romance. You’ve been the only red romance. I love you, John.”

He gives me a thoughtful look. He opens his mouth to say something but I somehow manage to get a hand up to cover his mouth.

“All this sap is going to give me cavities, and I need a shower before I make the pancakes for it to go on. A shower and a fresh pair of boxers. You make me a hot mess, Egbert,” I finish with a smirk, climbing out of his bed before he can react. I saunter out of his room with a swing of my hips that should make flighty broads everywhere jealous. I pause at the door frame for a wink and a kiss back to where Egbert is still prone on the bed with his jaw hanging open. Laughing to myself I duck into the bathroom for my morning ablutions.


	16. Chapter 16

I am just setting the stacks of pancakes onto the table as Egbert emerges clean and dressed in a pair of gym shorts and an old shirt. Saturday morning pancakes are a tradition in the Strider/Egbert apartment. I make perfectly fluffy golden pancakes that puts IHOP to shame. They wish they could hire me. I get letters from them on a weekly basis, but Egbert won’t give up his personal chef so I could fulfill my dreams of pancake maker extraordinaire. Not like they could pay me enough to give up being able to make Egbert drool.

“So what do you have planned today?” I ask as I place the butter and syrup on the table.

“The usual gym workout and then I have a meeting for a group project. ”

“Group project? Are you in like sixth grade? Please let me know right now so that I can go turn myself in as a pedophile.”

“I’m not in sixth grade. It’s for one of the design classes I’m taking. I had to move it from yesterday to today because of our date.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“The handful of desperate text messages I have from you beg to disagree. Besides, it was worth this morning.” He blushes red and dives into the pancakes like they are at fault for his embarrassment. I smile and kiss the top of his head before sitting down and digging in. He starts talking again when he clears his mouth. “So what about you? How are you spending your Saturday?”

“Well I was kinda hoping to have a snuggle-thon with you but you sound busy.”

“I will call them all up and cancel it,” his tone says that he is serious about it. I should remember never to get between an Egbert and his snuggles.

“No. Go to your group meeting and lead the charge into academia like a good student. I’ll be here when you come home.” He pouts and I can’t help myself as I lean over and kiss him. The sweet on sweet taste of Egbert and syrup is definitely going to give me cavities and diabetes, but I really could care less. “Until then, I’ll probably go for a run and work on some of my music projects.”

“Movie night tonight?”

“Anything but romantic comedies.”

“Killjoy.”

“No, those are your end of relationship movies. This is the beginning of relationship. In fact, I’m okay with permanently removing that genre from the premises.”

“Fine, no romcoms tonight. But we aren’t getting rid of such classic cinema and you have to promise a good action movie instead.”

“I will suffer your deplorable movie tastes if I’m allowed to kiss you at any point during it.”

“Um, okay? Sure.”

* * *

Egbert texts me when he is on his way home from his group meeting. It went a little longer than he thought it would be. I finish up dinner, a quick and easy stir fry on rice, and set the bowls on the coffee table on either side of three red roses wrapped in blue tissue paper. I go ahead and turn on the least annoying B-rated adventure film that we own, and let the title screen cycle through as I get the rest of movie night paraphernalia ready; a bag of popcorn in the microwave, all the blankets we own piled up on the couch, comfy sweat pants and light t-shirt, etc.

Egbert comes home with a crash. He almost violently throws his backpack at its usual nook by the table and kicks off his shoes with such force that one hits the back of the couch. I raise a concerned eyebrow at him, but don’t say anything.

“I have never wanted the Warhammer of Zillyhoo any more than I did tonight. Even inside the game.” It is both amusing and concerning to see him standing there trying not to rage.

“That bad huh?”

“Dave, at no insult to you, you as a music major could have done better than all of those asswipes on this biology project. My thirteen year old ectobiologist self could have schooled these morons. How did they even get into college? Bluh!” He finally moved from the hallway over the couch and fell hard onto the cushions. I swing by the kitchen to grab beers and return to the couch to find him holding the roses to his face.

“Do you want me to take any of them out? They’ll never find the bodies,” I offer half jokingly and half seriously.

This garners a laugh as Egbert switches out the roses for the bowl of food, still hot but not scalding. “No, they aren’t that bad just frustrating. But enough of that,” he shoves a huge bite of food into his mouth, “start the movie!”

“Fine, ignore giving me a ‘honey, I’m home!’ kiss. I see how you are. Ew no, I do not want one with a mouthful of stir fry. Just make it up to me after dinner. Egbert, no. That is not sexy. Stop. Oh look, movie. … That distraction worked too well.” I look over at him after pressing the play button and his face practically lights up. All the stress he was carrying along with his backpack as he came in the door just sloughs off. And the movie isn’t even through proclaiming the directing companies.

* * *

By the end of the first movie he is his usual dork self, group project woes forgotten. I had let him get through the movie without making a move beyond putting an arm around his shoulders, but as the credits rolled up the screen, I jump him. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration. I do stop him mid sentence as he is going on about the merits of the film yet again with a nice deep kiss. He tastes like stir fry, beer, popcorn, and John. I’ll put up with the rest for that last flavor. I honestly can’t get enough of that.

Eventually that obnoxious menu screen pops back up and I break the kiss to stop the movie. I get up and go over the entertainment center to switch movies.

“So, you are surprisingly okay with having a boyfriend. Especially one who also happens to be your roommate and best friend.” Out comes whatever we just watched and in goes another random film I picked from the shelf. It’s not like I pay attention to the movies. Not with him next to me.

“Well, it just makes sense for me. I guess I sorta kept wanting the girls I was dated to act like my best friend. Not act like you, and not in that pale way like Nepeta and Equius. I mean, I think they win the moirallegiance award every year. But I wanted what we have. But with someone else, which in retrospect is stupid.”

“I was about to comment on that, but you beat me to it,” I joke as I flop back on the couch next to him.

“Hush. I’m not done.”

“Go on.”

“Hush! Anyways, I kept looking for a girl version of you because I like girls. I find them sexy and boobs turn me on.”

I look down at my chest then back up to him. “I’m not getting implants.”

“I don’t want you to! Ew! Ew! Stop that!” He starts flailing at me.

“Ow! I’m not doing anything! Stop hitting me!”

“Anyways,” he continues exasperated, “I thought that either girls turned you on or guys turned you on. Which again in retrospect is stupid. I talked to Rose about it, about how sexuality isn’t black and white, but it’s a scale. And I realized that I wasn’t completely at the heterosexual end. I’ve always thought you were good looking.”

“Of course. I’m a Strider.” He hits me in the back of the head.

“But, I didn’t know I was sexually attracted to guys until I thought about us. And then we kissed. And it felt really really good. And this morning especially felt really... good...” I glance over at him and yep his face is bright red. "And... and I sorta want more," he mumbles out at the end.

"You are gonna get as much Strider ass as you want, babe." I lean over and kiss him lightly. "Especially if you are gonna play dom to my sub." I burst out laughing as he starts sputtering, turning the brightest shade of red I think I've seen on him.

"I'm not- I mean- that's not- guh! Dave! No I'm-"

"Dude, calm down. I think it's safe to say that we both enjoyed this morning and I wouldn't mind exploring that a little bit more."

"I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Huh?" Then I think about how much sexual exposure he's probably had. I guess BDSM hasn't been portrayed in such an accurate picture in Hollywood (or whatever the Alter-Earth-ia version of it is) or even in porn. It's a shame really. "No Egbert, I don't want you to hurt me. We don't even have to do the bondage scene. No whips and chains for you." He buries his face in his hands. "Hammers are more your thing and those do not belong in the bedroom." He shakes his head violently. "What I'm talking about is the control game between dom and sub." I catch him peeking from between his fingers. "You wanted me, so you didn't let me abscond. I mean I could have if I really wanted to. But it was really sexy when you took control.” I could feel heat rising to my cheeks at the confession. “Especially when you asked me to surrender,” it was my turn to mumble.

“Really?” His hands pull away from his face. “But I really didn’t ask...”

“Exactly. And I gave into your demands but at the same time, I could have said no, and you would have stopped.” It’s weird putting it into words when it happened so naturally, but then again, this is Egbert, Captain Oblivious. “It was my choice to give you control. And I think it ended well don’t you think?” When he nodded slowly, I leaned in for another kiss. “We won’t do more than what you are comfortable with. But I’m game for exploring.”

“That sounds... good.” He wraps a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a deep kiss.

* * *

We only made out for a while before moving onto the next movie. And then the next. Then I finally had to pull the plug when he suggested a fourth. I kissed him goodnight and went to bed. I still ended up dreaming that I am stuck in a B-rated action movie, chasing zombie nazis or something. I hate those type of nightmares.

Sunday was dedicated to homework so I locked myself in my room and Egbert chained himself to the dining table unless we broke for food (and a couple kisses that I snuck in).

Monday also came and went like usual. I had a minimum of classes where Egbert was busy for the majority of the day. I worked a lot on my projects. Some were for school and some are personal. My favorite is a set of mixes that will be tailored to each of the group. Even Dad is going to get one. I hope to get them done by Christmas.

Egbert and I don’t get any time together (excluding bedtime makeouts) until Tuesday. I’m planning to take him out another date. I’m feeling giddy about it. I mean it’s nothing big but I just enjoy taking Egbert out. I enjoy the fact that I can take him out. I relish the fact that he is my boyfriend and I get to take my boyfriend out. Like how amazing is that. To me, it’s the coolest thing in the universe.

I’m keeping this date simple, taking him out to a pizza joint then to an arcade.


	17. Chapter 17

Four roses, two pizzas, and three hours of arcade later, we are still laughing as we enter the apartment. As the door closes I find myself pushed against the door by my brunette boyfriend. He is up on his toes, pushing his lips against mine with delicious pressure. His hands reach up and hold the back of my head, pulling me to him as he traps me against the wood. I moan as he grips my hair.

“We are taking this to my room,” Egbert murmurs against my lips. I groan at his tone. That wasn’t a request.

“Are you sure, Egbert?”

“Yes. I want more. I want you.” His hands leave my head and drift down to the front of my shirt. He grabs the material and pulls me away from the wall. I grin at his enthusiasm as he drags me all the way from the front door to his room. He practically throws me onto his bed. I bounce a little before he is on me. His weight presses me down and traps me to the comforter. I moan into his mouth as he catches my lips with his. I push up off the bed slightly with what little movement I am allowed, arching into him. I can feel him smile at my reaction.

He shifts his legs so that he is straddling me. The movement causes friction between our crotches that draws groans from both of us. His hands dive to my waist as grab at my shirt hem. He roughly pulls and pushes the fabric up my chest and I have to arch again to keep it from catching on the bed. I curl forward to get my shoulders up off so that the shirt can clear them. It gets banished somewhere to the floor. I attack his shirt with the same intensity and it ends up in the same condition. I run my hands over the broad planes of his muscled chest. I have seen them before but I haven’t been allowed to touch them like this, haven’t been able to touch him like this. I look up and when I meet his eyes, my breath catches in my throat.

The pure want behind those blocky black frames, the pure lust in that blue make my heart race and my blood burn. It lasts only for a brief moment before he is leaning down again to kiss me hard. He rocks his hips against mine and it feels much better than that morning romp we had this weekend. In fact, it’s so much better that I am gasping under the intensity.

“Pants... Pants off... now... want... need to touch you,” I somehow manage. He pulls up and our hands go to our respective belts and buttons at the top of our pants. He swoops down for one last kiss then rolls to the side in order to shimmy out of the jeans. I do the same, lifting up my hips and sliding both pants and the boxers underneath down to my legs where I can kick them off. When I fall back I look over to Egbert and find him pantless but completely still.

He's sitting facing away from me almost cross legged. The poofy comforter blocks most of my view of his ass but by the extended bare line of his hips, I can tell he chose the same course of action that I did. My dick twitches excitedly at the notion that there is a naked Egbert sitting less than a foot away. But in the time I've spent ogling his bare back and waistline, he still hasn't moved.

"Hey, you okay?" I eye the pillow next to me in case I need to cover myself up. "I mean, we don't have to if you aren't okay with this. We can take it slower. I don't want to freak you out." He doesn't move. I grab the pillow and place it in my lap. "Knew it. Too fast. I'm gonna fucking scare you off. Just give me a sec to put my clothes back on." I start to scoot off the bed but suddenly he flips around and is kissing me forcefully. The pillow is still trapped between us, blocking any indecent contact. Finally he lets me up to breathe, not pulling away very far.

"Don't you dare do that," he growls and fuck that's hot.

I swallow hard, trying to reign in the desire to jump him. Still got questions before we can get to that. "Okay. Obviously you are perfectly amenable to the nakedness, but why the statue imitation?"

He sighs and sits up a little. Running a hand through his messy hair, he answers, "Worried."

"About?"

"Stuff."

I roll my eyes. "Gotta give me more than that, babe, so I can assuage those fears."

"That I won't be good at this."

I stare at him blankly. "You're kidding me right?"

"No. I'm not kidding." He pulls all the away from me and resumes his meditation pose. "You've done all this stuff with Karkat already and you've worked out all the awkwardness already. Except you wouldn't have any awkwardness because you are a Strider and Striders aren't awkward, they're cool. But I'm an Egbert; dorky and awkward fight to be my middle name. I don't have any experience in this. I barely have any makeout experience. I'm gonna screw up and then you'll laugh at me and then-"

"John, shut up," I interrupt, unable to take anymore of his self deprecating ramblings. I sit up and drape myself over his broad back, keeping that oh-so-helpful pillow between us. "You can't mess this up. John, you are the sexiest thing I have known. I love everything that you do. I love you. Don't think about Vantas and I. That doesn't even compute with what you and I have, starting with the difference between red and black and ending with the difference between troll and human. You are both my first love and my first human so we get to learn how it goes together together."

"Together together,” he repeats.

I think about what I said. "Yes. The sentence is sound."

"You repeated a word. How is that sound?"

"Together as in you and I will learn how we go together like a puzzle. Perfectly legit.”

“Whatever you say, Dave.” I can feel him roll his eyes at me. I take that as a sign that he’s fine.

“Exactly. Whatever I say. And,” I use one hand to pull back on his shoulder and the other one to cup his cheek so that I can turn him the rest of the way, “I say that I love you.” I lean in to kiss him softly. I can feel him relax into me, returning the kiss.

He gives in when I pull him down to me. We melt into each other. I coax him all the way on top of me until his weight is pressing me down into the mattress again. That pillow is still there between us. Well whatever makes him comfortable I guess. I pay attention to where our chests touch and how our legs slide together and where his hands grip my arms and how my hands pull at his shoulders and pull at the back of his neck. His touches set me on fire until I am nothing but ash and still I crave more. My hands glide down farther from his shoulders to across his back. The pads of my fingers trace across the muscles, dipping into the valleys and edges and especially along his spine. They glide down to his lower back, waist, hips, and hesitantly his ass. He moans appreciatively as I cup his ass and give it a playful squeeze. He kisses me hard and then rolls off to the side. I panic for a moment before he reaches back for me and pulls me towards him. We are now facing each other on our sides with that pillow in the small gap between us. He leans forward just a little to kiss my lips lightly.

“Dave, I want you to... touch me. And I... want to... touch you too,” he mumbles out, turning bright red all the way to his ears. He just looks so adorable when he nervously bites his lip like that.

I lean in and kiss him back just as lightly and sweetly. “I’ll do whatever you want, babe.”

He grins at me briefly and then he reaches down and removes the pillow. I keep eye contact with him for a beat before we simultaneously look down at each other.

It’s gorgeous. He is all that I imagined and all that I wanted. His hips are round and muscular where mine are thin and bony. The artistic side of my brain just wants to capture all of his lines and curves and body on camera film. And then his dick.

Wow.

It’s perfect. It’s about as long as mine is but a little thicker. But it’s all stiff and full and it’s doing that for me. I catch myself reaching for it as my hand gets about half way. Way too forward, I think to myself a half second before I feel something hot touch me. I gasp as his fingers curl around me. His touch is light and teasing. He just slides up and down to get a feel of it and oh gog it feels good, so damn good. I moan and I can feel his head snap up to look at me.

"Am I doing this right?" he says. I would say he’s being cheeky except I know he's completely sincere.

"Yes," I hiss out as his fingers skim my length again. I hear him sigh in relief and slowly his grip gets firmer until he is gripping just right, just how I usually handle myself. "There, perfect." He nods and keeps his hand fisted around me as he draws out long slow pumps. I am absently aware that he hasn't stopped looking at my face even though my eyes are closed as I try to memorize his touch. It's not that good of a distraction from the heat building up in my core. Even at his lazy smooth pace, I'll lose it soon if I don't do anything to actually distract myself.

Opening my eyes isn't one of those ways. Those blues are staring back at me and filled with such emotion that I have to kiss him and kiss him hard to break that intense look. As I roll forward to reach him I realize my hand has been floating between us ignored. Now it reaches for his hip. His hand pauses its ministrations, waiting to see what I am going to do.

My fingers brush against his skin and follow his hip bone down to the dark curls of his happy trail. I continue along that until my hand brushes against him. He gasps at the contact just as I had. I basically copy what he did to me as I relish the velvety heated weight of him against my palm. He moans as I find that happy combination of pressure and pace.

His expression of bliss is too precious not to kiss. My arm between us manages to move up enough to where I can cup his cheek. My lips captures his and he moans into my mouth. I see that his eyes shut through my barely cracked ones. His hand, while stilled, hasn’t left me. He manages to recover enough to tug lightly, drawing a moan from me. He matches my pace even as I slowly begin to ramp it up. I take all the happy little sighs and noises as indicators that he is enjoying this as much as I am. Every time I manage to get a conscious thought together, it’s usually astonishment that this is John that I am touching and it’s John that is touching me. My John. My blue eyed wonderful John. And it’s better than I ever, ever imagined.

I have to break the kiss when his thumb grazes over the top of the head because fuck that’s too good. “Fuck John you’re perfect. You feel so good, so damn good. I love you, John. I can’t believe I get to do this. I love your touch. You touch me just right. I love touching you. I love being able to touch you. Perfect, just perfect. Fuck yes, John. Fuck!” he makes me gasp again.

“Dave, Dave, Dave. I’m, I’m close, Dave,” he replies. His rhythm has gotten out of sync with mine and he is erratically thrusting shallowly into my fist. His head is tilted back, exposing his throat. I grin and lean forward to kiss it. He makes a beautiful sound as my lips slide against the taut skin. I lick up the side to his jawline, enjoying the salty flavor and rough texture. I drop back down a little and find his pulse point, giving it a small suck.

“Dave!” he cries out as all of his muscles stiffen. He gasps heavily as he comes. His body twitches with pleasure as I slow my pumping so a soft milking motion. Eventually he bats my hand away. He slumps forward, trying to catch his breath. I grin madly at him. That was incredible. I did that to him, I did that for him. I just made John Egbert come.

I watch patiently as he slowly comes back to me. His blue eyes flutter open, still so full of emotion but slightly hazy from the orgasmic bliss. He is panting heavily as he leans over to me. He gives me a series of small rapid kisses while trying to breathe. I wipe my hand on the comforter and then place it against his chest, pushing slightly.

“Breathe, John. Take a moment.” He nods and falls back, trying to draw air into his lungs. I take great pride in putting the Heir of Breath into this state.

My own cock twitches almost anxiously in reminder that he had stopped touching me. I push my own needs down and just admire John as he reigns himself in. Eventually his breathing evens out and he rolls back to his side facing me. I am still grinning at him.

“That good, huh?”

“That good,” he sighs contentedly then glances down between us with a furrowed brow. “Wait. You didn’t...”

“Nah, I was enjoying something else,” I answer with a shrug and a smirk.

“I bet. Well, I could um...”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want to!” he replied quickly. “I want to, I just didn’t know if you wanted me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want my boyfriend and love of my life to get me off?”

“I don’t know.” He paused to glance down again. “So how’d you like me to... uh... get you off?”

He’s so adorable when he’s flustered. “What you were doing before was great. Remember John, you really can’t go wrong.” I kiss him in reassurance. He reaches for me again and wraps his hand around me, instantly remembering what I like. I moan in pleasure as he continues to kiss me while stroking my length. This is the best thing ever. I close my eyes and shiver as that heat builds up in my core.

I break the kiss to murmur, “Fuck yes, John. Feels so good. You are so good.” I groan when he flicks his thumb over the head and shudder as he squeezes different fingers as he slides up and down. “Fuck. John.” I drag his name out as he drags me along.

“Dave, look at me.” I force my eyes open and drag them up to his blues. “Dave, I love you.”

I’m gone. I’m done and gone. The edge is about ten miles behind me as my world explodes and I just have those four happy words ringing in my head. It’s the first time he’s said that to me. My existence is blue and happiness and pleasure and heat and John. I just float there for a while before the white finally fades and the tingling sensation in my fingers and toes remind me that I have a body still laying on a bed with my boyfriend. I find myself flat on my back staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily. My head rolls to the side with a huge grin plastered on.

“That good, huh?” he asks with his own grin.

“John. Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you, Dave. I love you.” I roll all the way over and attack him with a kiss. I kiss him so hard and deeply and long that he has to push me off to get a breath.

“John, I love you.” I tell him with a breathy laugh.

“And I love you, Dave.”


	18. Chapter 18

We wake up the next morning to Egbert's gog awful alarm going off too gog damned early in the morning. Thankfully I ended up on the side away from it so I simple bury myself deeper into the warmth that is Egbert's back. I can feel his muscles shift as he reaches an arm out to beat the wailing clock into submission. I sigh in relief when the screaming stops, wrapping my arms tighter around my boyfriend.

"I have to get up."

I don't necessarily hear the words as feel them rumble through his chest. I don't respond to their nonsense.

"That means you need to let me go."

I squeeze hard, trying to banish the words.

"Dave, please let me go."

"No."

"Yes, Dave. I need to get up. I have class."

"Skip class."

"No, Dave. Let me go." He tries to sit up but my arms cling to him tighter. He manages to relocate my arms to around his waist and then tries sitting up again with better success. I simply curl around him.

"Stay. Warm. Sleep," I mumble into his hip just above the waistband of his sleep pants.

"I wish I could.” He starts scooting to the edge of the bed, slightly dragging me along with him. He slips entirely off of the bed and drags me a good foot in that direction. “Just let me go. You can stay here and sleep."

“No.” I pull him back flush against the edge of the mattress with a grunt. “Never let you go.”

“I’m going whether or not you let me go.” He waits a pause, gently stroking my hair. I simply bury my face against his side, kissing the soft skin. He sighs then pushes away from the bed. I am pulled along until my hips are at the edge. He glances over his shoulder at me suspended over the floor of his room. “Really?” He takes another step and I start to sag in the middle. Now I can’t let go unless I want to faceplant. With another step my knees come off and I am hanging onto the bed with the tops of my feet and onto Egbert with my arms. My knees and hips are about a foot still from the floor. Harley could tell the exact measurements down to the fraction of an inch. Or centimeter. “Does Harley use metric or empirical?”

“What?” Egbert asks as he turns to look at me. The movement was just enough to pull my legs off and my knees hit with a hard thud.

“Ow.”

“I warned you.” He turns all the way around. I loosen my arms just enough to let him slide in my grip so I end up effectively with my face at his crotch. My grin is hidden as I ‘sleepily’ nuzzle his junk. I hear him sputtering like mad above me.

“Dave, no. No, Dave. Stop. Just stop. Dave.” Sure enough I can feel it growing under his sleep pants. I tilt my head back and yawn. I hear him moan from above. I can only imagine the sight I’m providing. On my knees, face at crotch level, mouth open, and pajama tent pointed right at me. I carefully hide my smirk as I release him finally and use one of my now free hands to rub the sleep from my eyes.

“Fine, I’ll just do back to sleep.” I stumble to my feet and throw myself back onto the bed, neatly wrapping myself up in the sheets. I crack an eye in his direction and find him still standing there with his mouth open in surprise.

“Oh fuck you, Dave.” I close my eyes thinking that he’ll disappear into the bathroom to start his morning routine. Point seven seconds later my cocoon of sheets is ripped away and Egbert is on top of me. His mouth pretty much attacks mine in a wild passionate kiss while his hands run down my chest to my stomach to my hip, slipping under my waistband and continuing on down to my thighs. I’d gasp as my sudden exposure but my breath was too busy being stolen away by the kiss. I do manage a moan when one of his hands travels back up and wraps itself around me. My stunt had gotten me a little aroused already so within two pumps I am standing at full mast. It doesn’t help that I find this forcefulness so fucking hot. My hips twitch in response, wanting to thrust in time with his rough pumping, but as soon as I reach out for him, he stops. He lets go and slips off the bed as fast as he started. I do gasp at his sudden absence.

“You’ll finish what you started tonight.” I stare at him as he fucking saunters out of the room while I lay exposed on his bed with swollen lips and a stiff dick. Fuck, he’s good.

* * *

I basically maul him as soon as he closes the door. I had been lurking in the kitchen waiting for him to get home, but when the latch clicks close, I fast step to him and pin him to the door with both hands on his shoulders and my lips against his. I hear his backpack slip off of his shoulder and fall to the ground. As soon as he moves his arms to reach for me, I flashstep back to the kitchen.

I causally open the fridge and pull out a bottle of apple juice. Out of the corner of my eye I see him slowly come back to his senses and then kick off his shoes and retrieve his backpack, trying to get back into the normal routine of coming home. I swallow one more gulp of apple juice then flash step behind him as he leans down to put his backpack properly away. When he straightens, my arms wrap around his chest, pulling him flush to me. I duck my head down to his neck and place a sweep of kisses along his jawline down to his pulse point. He tilts his head to the side to give me better access, and I flash step away again. This time I catch a groan of frustration.

I go back to my juice, taking another swig from the bottle. It takes him a little bit longer to recover this time. Eventually he turns and watches me drink the juice. As soon as I pull it from my lips, he comes after me. I casually wipe my lips with the back of my hand and lean over to put the capped apple juice back into the fridge. Just as he is behind me I flash step out of the way and into the living room, ending up lounging on the couch. The groan has turned into a growl that I hear over the slam of the refrigerator door.

He stalks over to me and stares hard down at me over the back of the couch. It’s like he’s trying to predict what I am going to do next. Silly boy. He moves pretty quick, reaching down to catch me against the couch, but I’m a Strider, I’m quicker. His hand crashes to the cushions and I am right behind him. I lean over him, trapping his hips against the edge of the couch. He jerks up against me, just there’s not enough leverage to throw me off. I grind my hips against his ass as I nip at the back of his neck. Then I am gone again.

“Gog damnit, Strider.”

Ooh, he’s mad at me. He only uses my last name when he’s mad at me. I watch him carefully from the shadows of his own room. I’ve made sure to close all of the other doors and that he really wouldn’t be able to see me unless he actually comes over here. He straightens up and glances around, trying to located me in the apartment. His frown when he can’t is really adorable. And I am really enjoying this too much. I move away from the door and quickly peel off all of my clothes. All of them, except my shades. And then I lay out on his freshly laundered comforter and wait. It’ll only take so long before he realizes where I am.

Thirty four seconds later he flicks on the light to his room. There’s a moment pause as he takes in the scene. It takes every single year of training to keep my poker face intact, especially as I catch his eyes lingering over a certain part of my anatomy. He breaks his stare with a visible shake. He shrugs out of his jacket and tosses it on the back of the chair at his desk. He pulls his t-shirt over his head and it goes neatly into the hamper. He flicks his belt open and casually drops his pants. Internally I frown, he should be more flustered about this. He leans over and takes off his socks, gathering everything on the floor and depositing all in the hamper. He’s barely looked in my direction again, but I don’t move a muscle. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and pulls them down and off and oh my gog that ass. It’s beautiful and gorgeous and walking out the door.

My poker face crumbles as my jaw drops. Did he... Did he really... I hear the shower start and I can’t help but facepalm myself. I should know better than to try to tease the master prankster. Gog damn.

I am tempted to go join him, but instead I take my punishment. I daydream about the glimpse of that perfect ass, those hips that connect that ass to that broad back. I love those soft dimples on either side of his spine right at his waist. They are my guilty pleasure whenever I catch him with his shirt off.

It takes ten minutes and twelve seconds for the water to turn off but another nine minutes and forty seven seconds for the door to his room to reopen.

He has the towel wrapped around his waist and only the towel. I can tell his hair is still slightly damp by the way it clumps and curls against his forehead. Behind the shades, I let my eyes track down from his hair to a freshly shaven jaw line to gorgeous collar bone to a broad muscled chest to rounded hips to that blasted towel. Back up to blues eyes that finally acknowledge me. A shiver of arousal runs down my spine at the lust in those blues. I physically react when his tongue absently flicks over his lips. He finally breaks the staring and comes closer. I could reach out and touch him if I wanted. And you know what, I want to. I grab the edge of the towel and jerk it down, pulling the tucked section out and making it flutter to the ground. It’s my turn to lick my lips at the scene provided.

“Well, this is very reminiscent of how I left you this morning,” Egbert comments while looking down at me. He leans down and kisses me softly, lifting my shades off of my face. When he straightens, he folds them and places them safely on the nightstand. “But why don’t we retrace our steps that led up to that moment.” He takes a step back.

I smirk at him and slip off the bed, staying low but definitely taking a less painful method than I used this morning. I end up on my knees in front of him, keeping eye contact with him all the while. I can feel my heart speed up a little in anticipation. I lick my lips and I can see his breath catch in his throat.

“Do you mean like this?” I ask coyly.

“Yes,” he hisses out. “Please.”

I could draw this out further but I don’t really want to, so I reach up and wrap a hand around his stiff arousal. He sighs out a groan at my touch. I stroke him several times with the one hand; the other comes up and rests lightly against his thigh, brushing softly against the smooth skin. I can feel the weight of his cock in my hand a little better from this angle. Skin glides over skin as I work him at a slow pace.

“Oh Dave,” he moans with such a deep tone that I really want to record it and sample it in some songs. I make a mental note to set something up to just do that for his set of songs.

I glance up at him from this position. His head is tilted back and his eyes are closed. I smirk to myself. Keeping my eyes on him, I stick my tongue out and take a quick lick over the slit. Instantly his eyes snap down to me with a sharp gasp. I do it again to help him confirm his suspicions. His pre-cum is slightly salty, not a bad taste over all, but his expression of amazement and lust would be worth it anyways.

“Do you like that?”

“Oh yes, Dave. Can you- Can you do it again?” he asks tentatively.

I raise a sarcastic eyebrow up at him. “I’ll do you better.” I open my mouth and slide forward. My tongue grazes over the tip, around the head, and along the ridge on the underside of his cock. My lips brush the skin in a ring as I go farther down. I can feel him twitch in response along with gasp of surprise. I slide back and forth along the first half of his cock with my hand still wrapped around the rest.

Our eyes stay connected as I bob on his cock, my mouth full and happy. I don’t know how many times I have fantasized about this, but nothing will compare to the real thing. My tongue traces all the ridge and veins it can find as I slowly build up the pace. I take him a little shallowly but press my lips tight against him and suck, drawing delicious moans from above. When the spit gets to be a little much in my mouth, I take him in a far as I can comfortably then pull off to readjust. My hand uses the moment to spread the saliva further down his shaft.

“This what you had in mind?” He shakes his head softly and I hide the frown internally. “Do you want me to stop?” He violently shakes his head.

“No, no. Please. It feels so good. Just not what I was expecting exactly.” I raise an eyebrow up at him. “Don’t know what I was expecting; guess just your hand or something, but this is so much better. I like this.”

“You like having your naked boyfriend on his knees in front of you sucking your cock?” I smirk as a blush floods his face, all the way up the tips of his ears. I take him back into my mouth before he can compose an answer.

Finally his hands join the party, resting lightly on the top of my head. I can feel slight pressure as he follows my pace. I can tell he's enjoying it as those fingers flex against my hair, tugging at the blonde strands. I moan which causes him grab a little harder. He must have like that, so I purposely hum.

"Dave!" He flattens his palm against the back of my head and pulls me deep. Thankfully I don't have much of a gag reflex, but it still catches me by surprise. I force my throat to relax to take him. He groans at the sensation. He pulls me almost all the way off and then pulls me back. I moan freely at the feeling of his control. He bucks slightly, trying to hold onto some semblance of self control. That won't do. I press my lips down and create a light suction. He lasts about five more pumps before he is crying out, "Dave, Dave, Dave, I'm gonna-" He drops his hands from my head but like hell I am going to let him go. I grab his ass and hold him tight and suck hard. "Dave!" His cock twitches in my mouth and then he's cumming. I keep sucking and swallowing down his load until he finally pulls me off.

I grin and lick my lips as I look up at him. He's flushed and breathing hard and just staring down at me with that gorgeous post orgasmic haze in those blues. His hand moves from the back of my head to stroke lightly along my jaw. I shiver at the gesture, my dick jumps as more blood tries to fill its already painfully swollen state.

He steps away from me slightly and gestures for me to stand. I comply as gracefully as an eager puppy with too big paws at the end of gangly long legs. He waits a beat then reaches out to me. His fingers trail from my chest to my hips. As I tilt my head back, he leans in to kiss it, his other hand coming up to cup the back of my neck. I shiver again at the texture of his lips on my skin. I gasp as the lower hand shifts from my hip to my dick. He wraps around me and handles me for a moment like he is taking measure of it. All I am aware of is his breath against my throat, the pressure of his grip of me, and his body standing so close to me. He begins to stroke and my world narrows to pleasure and heat. The hand on my neck shifts to grip me so that my neck has to stay vulnerable to his mouth. Mine falls open with a moan. With all of the events that have led up to this moment, I am not going to last long.

"John,” I can’t help but moan breathlessly.

"Yes?" I can feel him smirking against my skin.

"Feels so good, John. I'm close." I gasp as his hand speeds up. He pulls me close so that his lips are right by my ear. "John," I moan again.

"Dave, I love you." Just like last night it sets me off. I cry out his name as I cum in his hand against his thigh. As soon as my muscles stop spasming, I collapse against him. His strong arms come up and support me as I simply buzz with leftover ecstasy. He eventually maneuvers me back over to the bed and drops me onto the mattress. I comply bonelessly. He grins at me as he moves around the room to find some tissues to clean up the mess I made on him.

Eventually he joins me on the bed, curling up to my side with an arm draped across my chest. I simply hum in happiness. He snuggles in deeper then whispers in my ear, "So, what's for dinner?"


	19. Chapter 19

The rest of the week was just as pleasurable.

He’s discovered what touches made me melt under his hands. Actually there isn’t much that doesn’t make me a sappy pile of goo; I’m too damn sensitive. Or maybe he’s just that good. Whatever it is, I can’t deny that the way he touches me is just incredible. I’m becoming a slave to his hand jobs to the point that I am popping boners in the middle of the day when I casually think about them and my own touch isn’t comparable to the point there is no satisfaction. Stupid daydreaming brain.

I’ve also had the chance to learn a lot of little tricks to do with my mouth and hands. I‘ve learned what he likes, enjoys, and what will push him over the edge. I’ve also learned that I have something of an oral fixation for him that he gladly lets me indulge. (He doesn’t go down on me because it makes him uncomfortable, but that’s alright because I’m enthusiastic enough for the both of us.)

We get to go out on a couple dates on the weekend. On Friday I take him out to a make-your-own stir fry place that is modeled after a noodle shop in ‘Japan.’ I have no idea Alter-Earth-ian names for countries, but it’s Asian enough for me to call it so. Eventually I’ll learn or just make Egbert learn for me. Chances are it’s going to be the latter because there is a snowball’s chance in hell that I’m going back to elementary school to learn shit like that. Plus that’s what Google is for, isn’t it?

He takes me out on Saturday he takes me mini-golfing. Surprisingly enough he kicks my ass at it. It might be because I stared at his ass a little much, especially as he leaned over when I was... swinging... gog damnit! He was doing that on purpose, the little shit.

* * *

Black heat presses in all around me. Suffocating. Can’t breathe. Can’t see. Chimes are slowing down. Why is time stopping? Why can’t I move? I need to move. I need to see. I need to save them. I can hear them. Their frozen screams. Their screams. They’re screaming. He’s screaming. Bro help me. Let me go. Black lava and green fire surround me and all I can hear is the bark. Fucking demon dog. I can save him. I’m doomed. I can save them. Blue glowing mushrooms and rivers of oily sludge. Clash of swords. Orange feathers and blurs too fast to see. I have to get to them. I have to save him. Bark bark bark bark bark stop laughing at me. Just stop laughing at me Cal. I’ll protect him instead of you. He loves you but you’re just a puppet. I’ll save him if I can just get to him. Blackness ripping away from me as I run as I fly as I leap as I move. Get off of me! Blue rock under my feet just as that sound… Steel meets flesh. Bone breaks apart to let silver in and red out. Bro’s shirt is always white. Don’t stain his shirt. Don’t drink kool-aid around him. Who spilled kool-aid on his shirt? He likes orange not red. Red is my color. Did I spill red? Did I kill Bro? My orange hand on the hilt pushing it farther in. Wrong wrong I’m supposed to be red and Dirk is orange. Why is Dirk’s hat on his head? Supposed to be his shirt. Right there on his chest right where the sword is. Why is it wrong? Bro, why can’t people get it right? Why can’t I get it right? Why can’t I do anything right? Worthless and wrong. Other Dave was better. Bro liked other Dave better. Other Dave was orange. He saved people. Saved Jade. Saved John. I didn’t. I don’t save. I kill. Look at all the Dave’s I’ve killed. Don’t look at me. I got rid of you. All of you. Into the lava you go. No trace. Don’t want to look at you. The Witch will see. The Seer will know. She always knows. Always knows. So why didn’t she know? Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t she save them all? All guardians are dead. We’re just kids. Too young to die but old enough to be left alone. So alone. I’m alone. Where is everyone? Where are they? Did I let them die again? Dead? All dead. Even him. Can’t breathe without him. Can’t breathe without blue. But too much red with the blue. Too much of me covering him. I killed him. I killed John. Now I’ll die. Again. Again. Again. Again. Die until he comes back.

* * *

 

When I wake up I find myself curled up in Egbert’s lap. His arms are wrapped around me very protectively as if to keep me close. His heart beat ticks away in my ear against his chest. I feel so small like this. Sometimes I have nightmares that I don’t wake up from. They scare him a lot. He’ll still do his best though.

He snores lightly because of our position. I can’t imagine it is comfortable sleeping like this. I pull away from him a little and look at his face. I can see soft tracks of thin salt on his cheeks. Shit. I must have been a bad one.

I tilt my head and press my lips against his, soft but insistent until I finally feel him react. I kiss him a little bit longer then pull away. Blue eyes flutter open.

“Hey.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop that. Can’t control nightmares.”

“Still sorry.”

He grabs my face and kisses me. “I said stop that. You okay now?”

“Yea. Come on, let’s get some actual sleep.” I uncurl from his lap, not moving too far away, always touching him one way or another.

“Okay.” He joins me in stretching out on the bed. I lay down beside him and his arms instantly wrap around me and pull me close.

* * *

I am going to go nuts.

I haven’t been able to touch Egbert for two weeks now and there is still another week ahead of me. Does anyone actually need two full weeks of study? I’m afraid his brain is going to melt down and just be a pool of slime that will run out of his ears in the middle of the night. Two weeks without any sexy interruptions. No dates, no movie nights, no cuddles, no sleepovers. He hides himself in the library. Fifth floor sixth cubicle in the biology section. He told me it was a secret, like that was going to stop me from finding out where he is. He even gave up that pretense after I started leaving him care gifts. A soda here, a candy bar there. Even dropped dinner there one night that he didn’t come home. I leave them whenever he gets up for a bathroom break or to go grab another book. It would be adorable how hard-working he’s being, except for the fact that he is denying me release. Denying me anything sexy besides the few kisses I have to sneak from him. I have to wrangle those from him and he gets upset if I take more than six per day.

He has a final every day of finals week, and none of his classes overlap in subject matter. You would think with all of the studying he’s been doing all semester long would be enough, but no, he’s going through the entirety of each course in two weeks. I’ve already turned in my semester projects. I’ve basically been on summer vacation for a week already.

I am going to go nuts.

* * *

Finals are over.

I should be happy. I should be ecstatic. I should be naked with my boyfriend. We should be rolling in the sheets, getting our sex on. He should be banging my ass until I can’t walk anymore. Not that we were exactly doing that before finals, but I was sorta thinking that we'd get to that as a post-final celebration.

But no. He's apparently bent on an grub-box marathon where he is planning on playing the entire Ring Shaped Alien Space Station Defense Against Another Parasitic Alien Device franchise, including the ones not produced by the original company, in one sitting instead. He's calling it decompression. I call it three days of extended sexless torture.

I'm estimating three days because he's attempting threshecutioner mode and I refuse to play.

* * *

I'm resorting to desperate tactics.

The fancy dinner didn't work. He didn't even pause. Didn't even glance up at my 'ballerina grace' or the frilly, silly apron. I could have been naked and I would have garnered the same response. I'm tempted to break the fucking grub-box but I want an attentive 'yes I will sex you' boyfriend not a pissed off 'gonna bite your dick off' boyfriend.

My plan is to wear a provocative outfit that shows off my best assets. It's not assless chaps, though that is an idea... No, it's a dark red vest from my felt suit and matching dark red boxer briefs. That's it. The vest shows off my arms and chest and the briefs are snug against this fine ass. Both classy and sexy and in an extremely flattering color. I'm going to strut around and pose in compromising positions in his view until he has no other option but to jump me.

He's nearing the end of the fourth game. I have to time this right.

The dramatic music backgrounds the credits scrolling up the screen. My boyfriend is sitting on the edge of the couch still caught up with the culmination of the story. Epic battle is finished and hero doesn't get to go home; instead he gets pulled into a situation that will obviously lead into the next game.

I join him on the couch, landing heavily so that I jostle him a little. I lean against him and stretch out along the rest of the cushions.

"Oh em gee! That was so cool! I love how Master Officer gives the council the business but still saves them all with Cortana actually stepping up out of her gamblignant role to protect him despite her orders because she respects their rivalry as kismesises!"

"Speaking of kisses..."

"And how the Arbiter finally realizes his love for Commander after he hears Commander confiding in Master Officer as moirails while Master Officer is infiltrating the base. The perfect balance of romantic drama and adventure!"

"Speaking of romance..."

"Another one done. But I really don't buy the idea of space jumping without a suit; I'd have to check with Jade on that. Though I don't think that's actually within her aspect. She's more dimensional and locational space, not starry space."

"Egbert."

"Oh thanks, Dave. I didn't realize the credits were over."

I resist the urge to facepalm as he actually gets up to presumably change to the next game. Instead I take his absence to stretch provocatively out on the rest of the couch. One arm is flung over and behind my head, drawing the vest up a bit. The other arm is draped against the back of the couch where my fingers are hovering just over my crotch. One leg is stretched out the full length and the other is bent. I lick my lips as I hear him close the tray. I am the epitome of sexy.

"Hey, scoot over. You can't take up the entire couch."

Bloody fuck. Really? Really, Egbert? I maintain my position until he comes back around the coffee table and waits with one hand on his hip and the game controller in the other. Fuck, he's serious.

I sit up just enough to let him return down to the couch, then I drape myself across his lap.

"It's gonna be kinda hard to play like this, Dave."

I internalize my frustrated sigh and sit up all the way. As the title screen loads, I grab his face, kissing him hard. He half heartedly returns the kiss but breaks it off as that fucking music cues up the menu. I try to kiss him again but he dodges.

"Dave, I'm trying to play. I have like two more games to go and I can't just leave Master Chief hanging out in space!"

I internally growl, but with the brief glance Egbert throws me, maybe it wasn't so internal. Resigning, I release him and get up and head over to the entertainment center to 'fiddle' with my music collection that happens to be at waist level. Instead of squatting down I simply lean over, my hips jutting out just so to show off my enticing ass. This has to get his attention right? I keep an eye on him in the reflection in the glass doors of the upper cabinet. He doesn't twitch from staring at the TV. His mouth is even slightly hanging open with a slack jawed glazed eye stare at the game that will rot his brain if it hasn't already been liquefied to soup held together only by the sheer thickness of his skull.

I fucking give up. I close the door with a little more force than necessary. No reaction. I stalk to my room. No reaction. I slam the door. I don't hear any reaction.

"I'm going to strip naked and lie in bed and masturbate by sticking random objects up my ass until I run out of lube!" I call back through the closed door.

"Kay," comes the distracted reply.

I release a frustrated scream into my pillow. What the fucking fuck is going on with him? I have tried everything short of jumping and fucking him. I cannot seem to entice him to fuck this plump rump which I know he enjoys based on how much he handles it. And it's not like he doesn't love me anymore he's just... not here. I don't get it.

My phone goes off from where it's sitting on my desk. I groan, but I have nothing better to do because I'm not really interested in following through with my threat.

"Sexless Strider answering the phone out of sheer boredom. Give me something to do."

"Well, you should come over to Homebase then!"

"You in town, Harley?"

"Me and the fuckass!"

"It's 'fuckass and I.'"

"Did I call Jane? When did you become a grammar nazi, Dave?"

"When shit happens in my life. But never mind that. I am so coming over if you guys are in town. Just let me throw on some clothes and shimmy out the fire escape."

"John's invited too."

"He's busy."

"Hrm... Alright. Well, we're here. See you soon, cool kid!"


	20. Chapter 20

Harley’s Volkswagen Beetle is sitting quaintly in the driveway with several suitcases crammed against the windows when I pull up and park behind her. I hop out of the car and head to the front door. Twelve seconds after knocking Dad answers the door.

“Good afternoon, Dave.”

“Sup, Pops.”

He steps away from the door with a gesture for me to enter. “So how did your classes end for the semester?”

“Pretty good. I got high marks across the board and one of the professors wants to use my photography portfolio in an exhibition.”

“That’s fantastic, Dave!”

“It would be a bit better if I could figure out if it’s a legit request for my talent or simply a hopeless bid to get in my pants,” I throw out casually. Dad maintains his composure better than Egbert, but that doesn’t stop his ears from burning red. “But don’t worry, cougars don’t really do it for me, but it’s still a pretty good exhibit. I can get tickets for anyone who is interested.”

“I’d love to see your work on display. You’ve always had a good eye when it comes to the arts. Jade and Karkat are in the kitchen already.” He gestures down the hallway.

“Probably dining on a fantastic new cake, I bet.” I head in that direction with Dad a half step behind.

“I call it Cloud Seven.”

“Isn’t the phrase supposed to be cloud nine?”

“It has some room for improvement,” he admits as we enter the kitchen.

“No it doesn’t! This cake is wonderful! Like wow! Best cake yet, Dad!” Harley defends from the kitchen island. I might have to take her word for it as she has white icing smeared all around her buck toothed smile. On the counter I can see the remains of a tall round cake iced in said white fluffiness. There is a piece already cut and ready for me. I love coming home.

“Hey Harley, you got a little something on your face.”

“Really?” She rubs a hand over a small corner of her mouth but it only makes matter worse.

“Yea, hang on.” I snag a napkin and walk over to her to wipe it up instead of just smearing it around. She tips her face up to me, closes her eyes, and lets me go to town. I pointedly ignore the nearly subsonic growl coming from behind me as I take my time. Harley smirks lightly at me as I slow down and stretched the moment out because she understands what I am doing.

It takes sixteen seconds before the growling becomes a snarl, “Get your hands off of my matesprit.” I manage to ignore him for three more seconds before a clawed hand grips my shoulder and forcibly turns me away from Jade.

“Do I need to wipe your face down as well, Vantas? Getting a little needy for Strider attention? Though this napkin is a little dirty; I’d have to resort to other means to clean up the cake," I lick my own lips teasingly, "but honestly, nothing will ever be able to clean up your mouth. Not enough soap bars in the world to cover all the cursing you’ve done and that’s just considering the ones I recognize. It would take a universe of soap if we included your Alternian slurs as well.”

“Shut the fuck up, Strider. No one wants to fucking clean anything up besides your manners when handling one’s matesprit in front of them. Didn’t your human lusus teach you fucking anything during your grub years?”

“He taught me plenty, growly. Like how to-“

“No. I don’t need to know what he fucking school fed you because it wasn’t fucking anything to do with manners.”

“Nah not really. He just taught me how to be the rudest motherfucker just so that I can get on your nubby little nerves.”

“Gog, I fucking hate you, you smug shit-eating nook-sniffing bulge-muncher.” I use the rant and my shades to sneak a glance over at Dad silently excusing himself from the room. He gets flustered at our kismesis exchanges, especially the language, but he understands that this is just how Vantas and I interact. “You piss me off so fucking much. Jade, why did we invite this piece of shit over? He’s fucking insufferable!”

“I didn’t want to travel halfway around the world without stopping by Homebase first and it would have been rude not to send out an invitation while we were in town.”

“Wait. If I’m both shit-eating and a piece of shit, am I eating myself?”

“Oh gog, I can’t fucking handle this.” Vantas throws his hands up into the air and stalks out of the room. It really is impressive how such a small person can stomp so loudly.

“So,” Harley starts. I turn around back to her and take the plate of cake that she is holding out for me. “Now that you have that out of your system, what’s going on?”

“Wish I knew.” I perch up on the stool that Vantas had just vacated. “I just can’t figure it out.” I take a bite of cake. “Holy mother of all that is holy, this is fantastic.”

“I know, right? I don’t know why Dad thinks he need to improve it. I don’t see how.”

“He needs to find some way to get this flavor and texture tattooed onto my tongue.”

“Why don’t you explain the situation to me?”

“There is delicious cake in on my plate and in my mouth but within the next five minutes, I will have eaten it all and the taste will eventually fade from my tongue and that is a tragedy that should try to avoid at all possible costs. Like forget about space travel or cold fusion, I need federal funds to go directly towards research into making this cake so fucking permanent that everything I eat from now on tastes like this slice of heaven.”

“The situation with you and John.”

I take another bite of delectable cake to buy me some time to think. “After two weeks of studying and another week of finals, Egbert should be as sexy-attention starved as I am. But it’s like he’s not even interested in that shit anymore. I’m going on week four of blue balls and he’s sitting on the couch playing terrible video games like his life depends on it. I have tried so many seduction techniques that I’m going to run out before he is receptive again. It’s not like he hates me or anything but I have to fight tooth and nail against the damn grub-box to get a five second makeout session with him. And he doesn’t even acknowledge me long enough to tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“It’s a doldrum.”

“Huh?” Ever the eloquent wordsmith, aren’t I? I am dumbfounded by both the speed of her answer and what that answer could possibly mean.

“He’s in a doldrum. It’s a phase I took from weather patterns over the ocean where sailing ships get stuck because there isn’t any wind blowing. He had several… episodes… while we were on the ship. His brain just does weird shit for no fucking apparent reason. Dave and I couldn’t figure out what triggered it or how to get him out of it.”

“That’s... the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. And I am including the shit that Vantas spews out.”

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Dave.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Harley. I believe you. In fact, it makes a shit ton of sense.” I take another bite of cake. “And actually I’m a little bit relieved.” Harley just tilts her head at me. “It’s not me. I didn’t do something. I didn’t fuck up.” Those last two words come out harsher than I mean to. I shove a large piece of cake into my mouth to shut me the hell up.

“Of course you didn’t, Dave. You are the coolkid. It is you. The sexy beast that makes everybody’s panties fall down with a toss of your platinum blonde hair and a flash of your devilishly red eyes.”

“Yea, everyone’s but my boyfriend’s.” Usually I can play around with Harley’s cute flirting behavior but I’m just not feeling it today. I need to get laid.

“Whine whine, bitch bitch, moan moan. Just cry yourself a river and go fucking drown in it.” Speaking of...

“Fuck off, Karkat.”

“Wow. One mention of the blue boy blunder and you spin off into an emotional landslide and you start glubbing like Eridan about filling quadrants."

"You always go for the low blow, don’t you."

"Always, fuckass."

"Give me fifteen more seconds and then I'll be happy to knock out all of your teeth." I turn back to Harley. "So how long do these doldrums last?"

"It only happened like four or five times over the three years. I'm actually surprised we haven't seen any since then. They went from one week to a month. Never more than a month though!"

"Oh goody. I get to look forward to one more week of being turned down by fictional characters saving a fictional world." I set the plate of cake down on the counter. "How can that compare to this?" I gesture at myself. "I saved the fucking universe!" I clench my fist and swing my arm in the direction that Vantas had been standing in. Just as my knuckles hit flesh, a mirrored fist collides with my own cheek.

Pain explodes in my head but I can't help but grin. I can hear him growl as he catches sight of the smile. It pisses him off that I enjoy strifing. It was his way of life on his shitty alien planet, but it was an enjoyable past time between bros on mine.

The stool topples over as I push off of it to tackle Vantas to the floor. He takes most of the brunt as he lands hard, but that doesn't stop him from trying to hit me. I'm too close for him to land actual punches so he just jabs his elbow down at my shoulder and back. That being very uncomfortable, I retaliate with a punch to the ribs. He grunts more in annoyance than in pain. He tries to maneuver his legs underneath him to get leverage to push me off, but the way my own legs are scrabbling against the hardwood floor makes it impossible for either of us to get traction.

Eventually he manages to get enough rocking momentum to throw me off to the side. He’s on top of me within a second, still snarling and growling. The red and yellow of his eyes and sharpness of his teeth do a pretty good job of making him look intimidating. Or it would if I were anyone else. Instead I just laugh at him.

“What the flying fuck are you fucking laughing at, Strider?” Flecks of spit land on my face from his closeness.

“You are so adorabloodthirsty, Karkles.” His fist clips my cheek. Oh that’s going to be a nice shiner.

“I fucking hate you so fucking much, you grub-gobbling, feculent, blithering, asswi-mmph!” I manage to stuff a kitchen towel in his mouth mid-syllable. It doesn’t stop him from being just as loud as before; actually he might be a little more, compensating for the muffled sound. But the distraction works.

I push him off and get the upper hand for only a moment before he is throwing his weight around and I am tipping backwards. We switch power back and forth for the next couple minutes, getting in blows while we can. After a while I stop bucking to try to get him off of me and start bucking to try to get more friction. Vantas catches on and stops moving entirely. He just leans down near my ear and whispers, “You must be really hard up.”

“Oh fuck you.”

“You are apparently trying to.” He rolls his hips against mine to prove his point. I just growl at him, refusing to admit the pleasure from the pressure. He does it again harder and I grit my teeth against the pain and pleasure. His hands come around to my neck and I viciously fight him off but his positioning has me trapped and all of my movements simply push me against him, causing more blood to flow south. The tips of his claws prick at the sensitive skin under my jaw. I freeze as he flexes his fingers both threateningly and seductively. Something that dangerous really has no right to be that sexy. “You giving up on me, Strider?”

Instead of answering I just lick my lips and I watch as his eyes narrow on my mouth. A second later he is crashing down on me to kiss me violently. I gasp as the movement rocks him forward causing his hips to roll hard against mine and his hands to press harder against my throat, cutting off my air for a moment. He takes the opportunity to slip his pointed tongue into my mouth, brushing against mine. I push back against him, cutting the tip of my tongue against his teeth. He moans lowly as the coppery taste of blood explodes in our mouths. For someone who hated his own red sludge, he certainly had a blood kink for mine.

I kiss him for a couple moments more before socking him in the jaw with an uppercut. It has enough power behind it to knock him off of me, the tips of his claws thin lines of fire across my neck. I check to make sure I’m not bleeding then move to lunge after him again. I am interrupted by a soft cough to the side. I glance up and see Harley grinning wildly down at me.

“As hot as this is to watch, I’d rather not have my boyfriend looking like a walking bruise before we fly to remote parts of the Orient.”

I glance down at Karkat and my dick twitches at the panting mess of troll with soft redness beneath his gray skin and my red on his swollen lips. Fuck that’s hot. “Fair enough, Harley. But just know that I am adding you next to the grub-box on the list of things that are currently cockblocking me and I really dislike that list of things right now,” I inform her as I push myself to my feet, doing my best to ignore my sexy, angry, bloodied kismesis.

“You can never not like me, Dave!” she states cheerfully.

“You’re right. It’s written into the code of the universe, woven into the very fabric of the multiverse. It is an immutable fact that no one can deny, even gods like us. Space and time will always go together like drunk and disorderly. I could never not like such a spunky, cool girl like you.”

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! The coolkid just called me cool!” She leaps at me and tackles me in a hug that catches my breath with the pain of my battered ribs. I hear a growl from the floor.

“Shit, Harley. Are you trying to rile him up again?” She releases me while giggling. The growling at my feet promptly stops, much to my dismay. “I swear you derp twins are the king and queen of blue balls. Egbert better worship me like the god I am to make up for it when he comes out of this fucking doldrum thing. How is that even a thing, damnit?” I reach over the counter and picked up my abandoned cake. The delicious flavors coat my mouth and mask the copper taste of blood. I moan openly as I savor each bite of the cake .

“Enjoying the cake, fuckass?” I glance over and find the short troll has finally gotten back to his feet, wiping the blood off his lips with the back of his hand. He’s eyeing the plate in my hands with a look of... jealousy. Holy shit, Vantas is jealous over a cake. This is too perfect.

“Yes, mmmm, I am.” I lick the fork with excessive tongue, smearing a little bit of red on the white icing. Vantas’ jaw drops at the display.

“Karkat, handsome, go make sure your stuff is packed,” Harley says sweetly.

He breaks off his stare to look at her. “Yes, ma’am.” He bolts out of the kitchen.

“Ma’am?” I raise an eyebrow at her. She nods with a bright grin on her face. “Damn, you have him whipped nicely. I really have to push to get him to call me sir.” She just winks and flounces out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts and cake.

* * *

"Wow, have you moved since I left?"

"You left?"

"Fuck you, Egbert."

"I am pretty sure you didn't leave."

"Then how am I coming in from the front door?" I plop down next to him on the couch, wincing as it jostles my injuries. He doesn't promptly answer so I offer, "I guess I did go out my window and down the fire escape."

"Oh. Okay." And then I lose him to the game again.

"I ran out of things to shove up my ass."

"Okay."

"I'm going to start recording these conversations so that when you do get your brain back we'll have a laugh at your expense."

"Okay."

"Yea, you are absolutely worthless."

"Okay."

"Why did I ever think it was my fault? Thankfully I only have to put up with this for a little while more, right?"

"Okay."


	21. Chapter 21

I'm lying on my bed with my headphones on listening to some of my mixes. I have my notebook out to keep track of what I want to change where. My pencil taps against the paper to the rhythm of the bassline beat. I don't notice that my door opens until Egbert is right there over me. I push my headphones off and grin lazily up at him. He smiles back.

"Why do you have a black eye?"

"Why don't you?"

"Because I like my face the way it is."

"You are just jealous."

"Uh huh." He leans over and kisses me sweetly. I reach up and cup the side of his face. His hand does similar as he shifts to rest a hip on the edge of the bed. I stay relaxed and enjoy the attention as he continues to kiss me on the lips, across my cheekbones, on my nose, along my jawline, down my neck, up to my ear, everywhere above the collar of my shirt. I sigh into his touch. His hand moves up into my hair, stroking it softly. Subtly I set my notebook and pencil off to the side and let my other hand rest on his shoulder. His free hand slips down my front to the bottom hem of my shirt. He slips underneath and caresses my stomach. Slowly and teasingly he creeps up to my chest, sliding his fingers across my skin. When he gets to my collarbone he pushes insistently until I lift my arms and help pull my shirt off.

I settle back down after discarding the shirt with my arms crossed behind my head. Since he has been so troublesome recently, I feel he should make it up to me. Which he is very eager to set about doing apparently. His mouth starts again at my neck but then shifts down to my collarbones and sweeps across both sides with a wave of kisses. His hands lead, tracing out paths over my shoulders, down my chest, around my nipples, along my sides, and down to my waist. They pause there as his lips slowly catch up. He has to scoot down the bed to reach comfortably but I'm not complaining at all.

His fingers hook into the waistband of my jeans and slide along my hips around to the front. He undoes the button and pulls down the zipper in a slow, unhurried manner. He sucks lightly at the peak of my hip bone. His hands ghost down my thighs over the jeans, pulling them down slightly to reveal the top edge of bright red boxers. His mouth continues to explore my waist, kissing, sucking, and licking every square inch it seems. His hands travel to my shins, wrapping briefly around my calves before tugging on my jeans in earnest. I lift my hips a little but so far he seems to be content to let me be passive. He gets the jeans off and I am left only in my boxers that are starting to tent up. He takes advantage of the pause away from me to take his own shirt off. I simply admire the view as his hands return to me, starting at my feet. I sigh as he starts massaging, the heat of his fingers and palm and the pressure of his thumbs against my arches, ah, that’s the stuff. Slowly he returns his hands to my calves, continuing to massage gently. Then up to my thighs, pushing underneath the legs of my boxers to get teasingly close.

He then pulls his hands out and goes for the waistband. I lift my hips again and he takes my boxers off in one movement and I am naked. Standing, he pulls something out of his pocket and tosses onto the bed. I track the movement but it lands behind a ridge on the comforter and something else distracts my attention. He casually flicks the button of his jeans open and slowly pulls down the zipper. With a silly but ridiculously sexy swish of his hips, he steps out of the pants a second later. His hands return to me, sliding up my legs, over the sides of my hips, up my abs to my chest. He leans over me and kisses me sweetly. No pressure at all, just a light brushing of lips, a soft passing of breath, a beautiful declaration of love. Okay, that may just be the romantic in me, but gog this kiss is delicious.

His hands set off roaming again across my body, exploring every inch of skin. I feel myself twitch and respond to him as they wander lower and lower until they bypass where they should be, where I need them to be, and they brush along the outside of my thighs. He pulls his face away from me slightly, still not saying anything but just staring at me with those blue blue blue eyes. My god he’s gorgeous. My attention returns to where his hands are as they shift from the outside of my thigh to the inside. The skin there is a little more sensitive so I shiver when he lightly scraps his nails upwards from my knees.

My breath catches as he gently pushes my legs apart and quickly moves into the new space. The heat of his palms burn pleasurably as they slowly, achingly work their way up to the junction of my legs. His fingertips glide along the creases where leg meets torso up to my bony hips and then back down to my ass. I hiss as the back of his hands brush against my swollen weeping dick and around my balls. I gasp and my back instinctively arches back against the bed as his thumb presses lightly against my taint. I glance down at him and find him grinning at me with that cheesy sexy smile.

One hand stays on me while the other reaches for whatever he tossed on the bed earlier. When I hear and recognize the snap of the lid, my dick twitches accordingly. Part of my brain wonders how he got over his embarrassment to buy it, but shuts up instantly as the cool liquid is poured over my balls, dripping down to be caught by his hand still hanging out in my nether regions. I shoot him a peeved grimace but instantly relax it as I see his brows in furrowed concentration. He is entirely focused on what is doing to me and what he is planning to do to me, which is really sexy and flattering.

He smears the lube around a little to coat his fingers and to warm it up with our body heat. I let out a little moan as he brushes against the entrance. His eyes snap up to meet mine. He pauses with a finger resting against me, waiting for some sort of response. My heart swells at that. As much as I like his commanding persona, it’s the sweetness that makes him John. I love him for that.

I nod. He bites his lip to try to hide a smile. Then he starts pushing. I gasp as he breaches. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything up my ass. The last thing was Vantas over the winter holidays. I breathe deeply to relax while he works his finger up to the knuckle. Slowly still he slides it back and forth. When he feels that I am comfortable, he pulls mostly out then adds a second finger. The additional stretch burns a little, but I soon get used to it and he starts moving them back and forth. I am panting with pleasure, relishing how it feels, moaning as he scissors his fingers to stretch me a little more. My arms come around from behind my head and my hands grip the sheets as he fingers my ass. Oh gog that statement is both ridiculous and hot. Only John can keep making me feel that way.

He leans up over my body and kisses me hard, still keeping his hand moving inside of me. The other arm is supporting his weight above my shoulder. He swallows my moans in a kiss as he adds another finger into the bunch. He keeps up a slow and steady pace that is beginning to drive me mad. I don’t think I’ve ever been harder in my life and that’s just from him playing with my ass. I can feel the coil of heat at my core starting to build up but there isn’t quite enough friction. I start rocking my hips, pushing myself onto his fingers at a slightly faster pace. John smiles against my lips. He gets the idea and speeds his hand up until I am a panting writhing mess. And he still hasn’t directly touched my cock.

My moans break into a keen as I push myself up closer to him. My arms clutch his sides as pleasure builds under his touches and kisses. I have to throw my head back with a gasp to get some air so that I have something in my lungs with which to chant his name over and over and over.

Suddenly he pauses his ministrations. I rock my hips to try to get him to continue but he doesn’t. I collapse back down on the bed with a frustrated sigh that might have come out as a whine. I open my eyes (when did I close them) to see him staring at my face. Those dark blue eyes are filled with love and lust. Still slightly too big front teeth press down on his lower lip almost nervously. I am breathing hard trying to catch my breath and waiting for his next move. I wasn’t quite at the edge yet, but I would have been soon so I am conflicted with wanting him to continue something, anything at all and being patient to see what he wants. Finally he takes pity on me and asks, “May I?”

It takes my pleasure-fogged brain a moment to comprehend what he is asking. When I do, I can feel my face heat up with a blush and I have to swallow hard before nodding. “Yes, John. Yes please.”

His face lights up and my heart nearly bursts with love at the sight. He slowly removes his fingers and slides off the bed to drop his boxers. I feel giddy at the emptiness that his absence gives me because I know in moments he’ll be filling me up even more. I smirk when I hear him gasp at the temperature of the lube as he slicks up his own cock. When he looks back up at me he pauses. I can only imagine the mess I look like right now. Panting and flushed with my legs spread wide, my ass prepared and waiting for him, and my cock twitching in time with my beating heart.

Then he is on top of me, kissing me thoroughly, wildly, and madly. Finally he comes back up for breath. He hovers above me and we are just grinning stupidly at each other. He reaches down and guides himself to my entrance. With steady pressure he pushes his hips forward. I feel the tip of his cock force its way against and into the ring of muscle. I keep myself relaxed to make it easier but I’m still tight as hell. Or maybe he’s just that big. It definitely is different from sex with Vantas; bone bulges are tapered at the end. I honestly can’t believe there is a part of my brain that is coherent enough to think about that. Another part of my brain also notes that this is probably John’s first time. He is giving his virginity to me. The thought causes a shiver to run through me which is turn causes John to moan as my muscles twitch around him. He still pushes on, slowly sliding deeper and deeper into me, filling me up so well. I am vaguely aware that litanies of words are falling out of my mouth, but for the life of me, I can’t pay attention to anything but his cock and how it feels inside of me.

Eventually his hips touch the back of my legs and he pauses. I appreciate that because gog damn he’s big. While I am adjusting, he shuts me up with a kiss. It’s an open mouth one with lots of tongue and moaning. When my body has relaxed enough that I don’t feel like he is splitting my insides apart, I signal him to start moving with a slight roll of my hips. That seems to do the trick as he groans and then begins to slide out almost to the tip and then pushes back only a tiny bit faster than he did the first time. I hold onto him tightly as he gives me the chance to memorize every inch that is inside me. As soon as he is fully seated he does it again. Again only a little bit faster, but it feels so damn good that I cannot complain.

As I roll my hips back against him, he speeds up until he is snapping his hips into me. I am panting, moaning, keening, mewling, holding him tightly against me. He is breathing hard and whispering words of praise in my ear with hot breath, telling me how good I feel and how he never wants to stop and how much he loves me. I simply fall apart under him. I am nothing but a mangled bunch of overstimulated nerves and quivering muscles held together by slick sweaty skin. His tempo is marked by the slap of his body against mine. Blood pounds in my ears in a matching staccato rhythm. My breaths are out of sync as I gasp to get air to my burning lungs. All of my muscles burn; I might be on fire but there is no way I am getting away from this blue blue blue flame pressing me down into the mattress.

“John, John, John, I- John, I’m close,” I manage between sobs. Then like an angel he reaches down in between us and finally touches me. His hand wraps around my painfully swollen member and pumps it to the snap of his hips.

I lose it. I feel like I am exploding imploding becoming nothing but light and pleasure. I feel him go rigid over me and his cock twitches inside of me, causing more waves to crash through me. I don’t think I am breathing. I’m not sure I exist.


	22. Chapter 22

When the world comes back to my blissed out mind, I am still lying on my bed. Faint music is still coming out of the discarded headphones. Hazy sunset light is coming through the slats of the window blinds. The room smells of clean sweat and sex and John. I sigh happily and John snuggles into his spot on my shoulder. The trapped arm is wrapped around his back with my hand resting lightly on his naked hip. His free arm stretches out across my chest in a cutely possessive manner. Thank gog for air conditioning because Egbert is putting out some massive heat, but I really can’t be bothered to care or to move. The tips of my fingers and toes are still tingly. I sigh happily again.

“Welcome back to the world of the living, Dave.”

“I should be saying that to you, doofus. Your brain vacation had me worried there for a moment. I was afraid you really did find Master Officer, which is a really terrible rip off title to the real thing damnit, more attractive than me.”

“Never.”

“Obviously. I think you’ve more than proved that just now. Not that I am complaining one quark of one proton of one atom of one molecule of one ounce of complaint, but what made you decide on this? The lube gives away your forethought.”

“Someone’s been listening to Jade’s nerd-talk. And actually I listened to her too. When I came back from my ‘brain vacation’ as you call it, I checked my phone first.”

“I see where I rank.”

“Hush, it was closer. Anyways, when I checked my phone and it had a couple messages. I’ll get back to you on answering your one hundred and twenty six messages later. Jade informed me that I had fallen to another ‘doldrum state’ as she calls it and that I was being a terrible boyfriend and to make it up to you I should,  what was the quote... oh, I should ‘worship you like a god,’ so I asked Rose for advice on how to do that.”

“And she told you to fuck me into the mattress until I black-out in an amazing orgasm?”

“Uh, no. Not at all.” I glance down at him and find that his ears are the brightest red that I think I have ever seen them.

“Okay, then what did she suggest?”

“Burnt offerings and a gold statue made in your image.”

“Ooh I like that. Okay, maybe not the burnt part. So where are my offerings, peasant?”

“I ordered pizza to show up later tonight.”

“And my gold statue? Or do you need a pose for that first? Should I do it naked to show off all of my glory or clothed so I don’t embarrass the world with how pitiful they are compared to me? And by ‘me’ and ‘my glory’ I mean my junk.”

“I don’t have that much gold.”

“You’re right. Too shiny. Maybe marble... Did you do me in white or black.”

“I think I did you into the mattress.”

“Oh, right. That was awesome.”

“So I did alright?”

I stare down at him incredulously. He’s not looking up at me so the effect is lost. With my free arm I tilt his chin up and manage to twist down enough to kiss him silly. “Does the phrase ‘blacked-out with an amazing orgasm’ mean nothing to you? You did a little more than alright. Even that old cranky Russian judge would be hard pressed not to give you a 10 in the sex-lypmics. Since the invention of the sex, there have only been five fucks that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.”

“Shut up. I was only my first time. You don’t have to make me feel better about it.”

“Dude. I’m not lying. Not even exaggerating. Okay, I might be metaphorizing a little, but no, I am dead serious when I say that was the best sex of my life. You, John, are an excellent lover.”

“Oh.” He pauses and thinks about that. “You called me John. You are serious about it.”

“That’s what gives me away. Using your name? Not the fact that you sent me to nirvana. Not the fact that I haven’t moved yet. Not the fact that I broke out a Princess Bride quote to describe your sexual prowess. No. I was me calling you by your name that finally painted you the picture that I will have to share my title of sex god with my wonderful boyfriend.”

“That was only my first time too. I promise I’ll get better.”

“I can’t wait then. Actually I can because my ass hurts and full of spunk. I’m going to need a hot shower and food before we do that again. After that, you can make love to me whenever you want.”

He blushes heavily at the phrasing but then frowns just a little. “Did I hurt you?”

“It’s a good hurt. It’s a I-just-had-my-hung-boyfriend-pound-my-ass kind of hurt. I might be walking funny for the next couple of days.” Egbert giggles at that. “What?”

“Just imagining the cool Strider walking around with a just-fucked limp. You’ll still try to put up a cool facade all the while.”

“Facade? This is all natural coolness. You are just jealous.”

“You are such a dork.”

“Welp, that signals the end of these cuddles.” I shove him off of my shoulder and start to roll off the bed to my feet. He cries out and tries to cling to me but I am determined to get a shower. “Oh fuck off. I really feel disgusting right now and the sirens of ablutions are singing my name. I must respect their calls.” I manage to slip away from him and sure enough I limp across the room. I hear his whines all the way down the hall to the bathroom. I turn on the water to the shower which muffles him a bit. What is he whining about? I’m the one who can’t walk right. I limp back to my doorway, sticking my head into the room. “You could always join me.” I haven’t seen Egbert move that fast since he was aided by the wind.

* * *

Pizza and post shower cuddles are the best.

* * *

True to his word, Egbert did answer all of the one hundred twenty six messages I sent him. All of them. Individually. On sticky notes. Stuck to about every surface of my room.

I love the derp.

* * *

I don’t know why it exists for how I stumbled on it, but I found a small gold statue that looks similar to how Lalonde looked in her god tier pajamas. So of course I had to order it and threw it in a box with Egbert’s latest attempt to romantically cook me breakfast in bed (seriously, he needs to stop before he actually burns the kitchen down), and sent it to her.

* * *

Finally it’s the brilliant start to summer break that I’ve been wanting since Egbert began studying for finals. We have been making love, having sex, fucking like bunnies, whatever you want to call it for the past week. Sometimes it’s frantic and sometimes is nice and slow where we just explore each other. It’s amazing. And it’s getting better as he gets experience and I am not longer attention starved.

I love him. I love him so fucking much. I never expected it ever going this well. It never goes this well for me. I’m probably jinxing myself just thinking about it now. But I can’t care. I’m too happy. I love him and I get to tell him and show him every day.

* * *

Lalonde sent back a flyer for the Church of the Seer. She’s placed herself at the top of the pantheon, using the statue as her image/placeholder, with her sylph consort by her side. All of the information in the pamphlet is actually scarily thought out. Thankfully it’s just a response to my jest.

...Right?

* * *

“Hey Dave?”

“Yea?”

“If so some strange, odd, unpredictable, improbable reason this... doesn’t... work out...” I go still at his words. “We’ll still be best friends right?”

How do I answer this? Because honestly, no. I can’t go back to the platonic after this. If my love for him could survive my teenage years, could survive the game, could survive rooming with him under the pretense of never getting anywhere further, I don’t think it would die any time soon. My heart could be ripped out of my chest still beating and I would still love him. He could rip it out and stomp on it and toss it to the lions and I would still love him. But I couldn’t go back to playing platonic. No, if this ‘doesn’t work out’ then I’d have to leave because that would be too painful of a hell. And this is coming from a guy who has had to dispose of my own body too many times to count, who got shot up with a fucking machine gun, who died at the birth of a sun, who spent three years with a handful of aliens, and who helped defeat three basically immortal bosses. A scenario where I couldn’t love Egbert this freely terrifies me.

But I can’t really tell him that. That’s too much pressure on him.

“What makes you think that we won’t work out?”

“Nothing!” He wraps his arms tighter around me. “I just let my thoughts wander and they wandered into scary what if territory.”

“Well, round up those stray thoughts and keep them reigned in like a border collie with an obsessive compulsion disorder. We don’t need your naive thoughts falling into scary territory and falling down pits of despair or wells of depravity. What’s that little Johnny? Some thoughts fell down a well? And came back with some kinks? They better not be that bad. Despite living with Bro’s debauchery, there are still some things that squick me the fuck out. Better keep your innocent thoughts all flocked together and sheltered away.”

John snorts. “Innocent? I am not innocent after living with you and doing...” he gestures down to our naked bodies.

“Jeez Egbert, you make me sound as dirty as Bro. Yea, I may have corrupted you a little, but you’ll always be my sweet silly innocent John, the kid who passed out bunnies like candy on Halloween during a game which was trying to kill him every other turn.”

“I didn’t pass out that many bunnies,” Egbert pouts.

“Dude, Vantas saved those moments from the trollian chat and I found them when I broke into his computer. You re-enacted that scene from Con Air like at least three times.”

“Bluh! I can’t believe you watched that! I was thirteen!”

“An adorkable thirteen.”

“Why did Karkat save those videos?”

“Fap material? At that time he was a little flushed for you. He really couldn’t decide between black or red though. Gave me blackmail material on him though.”

“Ew ew ew!” John buries his face into my shoulder.

* * *

I made John cry.

He promised me it was happy tears, but there was also a lot of anguish there.

I took him flying. It was one of those new indoor skydiving places. He hasn’t been able to fly since we stepped into this new universe. His face lit up and his legs gave out when he saw the group ahead of us already in the chamber. He just fell to his knees and stared at them. I don’t even think he realized he was crying.

“Shit.” I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m sorry, John. I’m so sorry. God damn. I fucked up again. Come on, I’ll get you out of here.”

“No. I wanna stay.”

“Dude, you’re crying.”

“What?” He reached up to touch his face, then brushed the tears away with the back of his hand. “I’m okay, Dave.” He finally pulled his eyes away from the chamber to look at me. “I... I wanna fly again.”

“Fuck, John. That was the point.”

We managed to get into the safety gear and listened to the tutorial of how this shit works. At least I listened. Egbert just watched the group in front of us finish up. I made sure that it was just the two of us plus the instructor who entered the chamber. That big cheesy grin of his got twice as big as the giant fans started up. He looked at me with those sweet blues.

“Go. Fly for me, love.” I swore his face was going to split if that smile got any wider. The instructor was right by his side as John stepped forward into position to help him out, but he didn’t need it. After fourteen seconds of watching John get used to the currents, the instructor came over to the side to stand by me.

“Has he done this before?” he shouted to me over the rush of air.

“He’s just in his element.” When I looked back up at John, he was doing somersaults and spins and dives and tricks that if I think about too hard scare the fuck out of me because he’s not in control of the wind anymore and why John are you fucking doing that you are going to get hurt. But he was thoroughly enjoying himself if I interpreted his shrieks of laughter and hoots of joy correctly. Since his face couldn’t hold his entire grin, it spread over onto mine. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

“I LOVE YOU, DAVE!”

* * *

After I promised that we can come back anytime he wants, we had the most fantastic sex.

* * *

The signal changes and we wait the usual five seconds for late traffic to clear before crossing the street. I turn to look at Egbert as he’s making large gestures about certain parts of the play that he took me to. The lights of a car approaching us catch my attention. I frown. We have the right of way and the signal is still red, but that car is not slowing down.

I react on pure instinct and grab Egbert’s shoulders and throw him as hard as I can out of the way before bringing my arms up protectively in front of my face.

Metal impacts my legs. Something snaps and I am slammed forward by gravity and inertia to have my arms hit hard against the hood of the car. My forehead follows less than a second later. I feel my torso get punched hard and my lungs give up on air. The hit knocks me back and I swear I skid along the asphalt with my back and shoulder taking the brunt. That doesn’t mean my legs don’t also chime in with that sharp shooting pain that screams that something is wrong. I know what’s wrong. I just got fucking hit by a fucking car.

Somewhere in the background of all that I hear the squealing of brakes (now the fucker brakes, couldn’t have fucking done that any fucking earlier, could ya) and I hear John shouting my name. But both of those and any other sensations I might feel are swamped by the overwhelming pain that has seized my entire body. Oh fucking hell, this is up there with some of the times I died in the game (neither heroically nor just, just stupidly). Wait. Does this mean I’m going to die? Like die permanently? Cause I am pretty sure the game made us hang up the superhero pajamas that kept us going. Fuck.

John.

I open my eyes and am greeted with blue.

“John,” I at least try to say. I have no idea if I actually said it because I still can’t hear anything over the screaming pain. I can see him trying to say something but fuck. Oh fuck it hurts. “John. I love you.” At least he looks okay. At least I saved him. Hey. I saved him. “Hey, John. I finally get to be your hero.”


	23. Chapter 23

Of course I wake up in pain. Everything was going so well, too well. Now how did I fuck it up this time? I don’t open my eyes yet because this might be the worst hangover I have ever experienced and if so, light anywhere in the room is going to hurt like a motherfucker. As if the rest of my body doesn’t hurt like that already. Fuck. I feel like I got hit by a... truck... oh fuck.

But pain means I’m still alive right? I’m not a asphalt smear? I’m not road kill? Though with this pain, I wouldn’t mind being dead. No. No that’s not right because I have something to live for. I have John and if I died... again... that would hurt him.

Okay. Body check. Head is obviously attached. Breathe in and out. Lungs and torso in tact. Heart is definitely responsible for the painful pounding that is going on. Okay. Critical parts are a positive. Let’s try limbs. Oh fuck no. Let’s not try the legs. They are there but do not ever need to be moved again. Fuck. I might have to borrow Nitram’s sweet ride. Next? I can feel my arms. The left one seems mobile. Not moving it much because it’s disturbing what equilibrium I have over my pain. The right one though, I can feel but can’t move. Feels warmer than my left. But all limbs exist which is a good sign. I guess next step to announce my return to consciousness.

Time to open my eyes.

Any time now.

Seriously.

I'm not going to pull a Terezi.

I'm not blind.

_I'm not blind!_

Oh, there we go.

Finally I get my eyelids respond and I get a crack of light in. Never have I welcomed something so painful. I give my eyes some time to adjust and slowly I get them all the way open. I still don't move because everything still hurts. Wherever I am, it’s all gray. The light that I can see is turned off and I give praise to the gods that made this world. Oh wait, that's me.

Okay, what else is here? I have annoying beeping machines on my left. Nasty mess of wires attached to that arm. The blinds are closed to the window also to the left. There is a tv hanging on the wall at the end of my bed. Further right, the door lets in the little light there is in the room from a window showing the lit hall. And there is a mop of black hair on my right arm. Ah, that explains that mystery.

"John." I sound terrible. It's raspy and scratchy as a... metaphors elude me. I know I'm pretty bad off when that happens. "Hey, John." Still no response. "My favorite bucked tooth derp face, wake up." There we go. I watch as he lifts his head revealing those blue blue blue eyes. I smile at him as he blinks sleepily at me. I can see the reaction fall over his face.

Seconds later he is scrambling to his feet and lunging at me to hug me in the most painful hug ever.

"Ow." I deadpan. He doesn't let go. "No seriously, ow." Still holding me. "Ow ow ow! Dude seriously! I'm broken and you are not helping. Fuck! Ow!" He finally let's me go, grabs my face and kisses me hard, and then he turns on his heel and walks out.

"John!" The door closes softly behind him.

What the actual fuck.

Maybe the drugs are messing with my head because I'm pretty sure my boyfriend did not just walk out of here leaving me all bandaged up and just recently conscious in a hospital room after I got hit by a car saving his hot ass. Nope, that's not what just happened. I think there is a reference to a river I am supposed to be making here but my head hurts too much and I am too confused to do anything but breathe and stare at the closed door.

I see movement in the small window in the door. Someone or a couple someones are standing out in the hall. The door opens and I wince with the light.

John.

He comes back in with his head down and promptly sinks into the chair by my side, grabbing my hand like he’ll never let go, like he never left. He doesn’t look up at me though, choosing to memorize my hand apparently.

I am too busy staring at him that it takes a polite cough to recognize that two other people have come in with him. Rose and Dirk. I relax a little. John must have left to go get them.

“Sup,” I try, but it comes as a garbled gasp. They still get a message.

“Dave, it is good to see you are awake. Do you remember what happened?” Rose asks.

“I got hit by a car.” My voice slowly clears up as I talk. Nothing can keep me silent. “Did anyone get the license plate of the jackass? Cause I want to give him a lesson on brakes. Taught with a metal baseball bat.”

“We have that handled,” Dirk supplies, “He tried to run after Egbert flew you to the hospital, leaving the scene, but he didn’t realize that we have at least three competent hackers, one legal genius, and a handful of very protective and scary motherfuckers. And we didn’t even include Makara in the party.” Dirk’s smirk is fairly predatory.

“I wasn’t invited to the shindig? I’m hurt.”

“Not as much as he is. He’s still alive, so we can always give you a shot.”

“So who lead the festivities? You?”

“I wish. But no, Rose and I stayed here to help Egbert with paperwork and watching over you. But you were right about Harley, though. English’s skulltop let me watch the entire thing. I think even Serket was impressed with her. And Vantas,” Dirk whistles, “guess that puppy does have some bite to go along with that bark.”

“Well yea. I wouldn’t have some pansy as my kismesis. But hang on and rewind a sec. My brain might be a bit scrambled, but I thought I heard you say John flew me to the hospital?”

“You heard correctly,” Rose clarifies. Clear as mud. “Apparently his distress allowed him to tap into latent powers,” she continued. I looked down at John but he was still avoiding looking at me. "You are lucky that you had your own personal airlift service."

"Lucky, huh? How bad?"

"Both legs suffered multiple fractures, head injury that resulted apparently in only a minor concussion, lacerations on your shoulder and back in addition to road burn, several broken ribs, and several damaged internal organs."

"Fuck."

"That's exactly what all the doctors said when they saw you."

"I bet. Thanks, John." There is still no response from him. "Hey, you're okay, right? I'm pretty sure I got you out of the way." Nothing. "John. Say something, babe." He picks up my hand and cradles it then curls himself down in it like I had found him when I woke up.

"He's uninjured," Rose answered for him. I look up at her and I can feel the panic concern worry pass over my naked face. "He's just... angry at you."

"Angry?"

"Yes. You scared him. This isn’t the game anymore. Death is very real here.” She paused. “And apparently you said something to him. So he's giving you the silent treatment."

"What? John, that's stupid." He simply tightens his hold on my hand.

"He's quite serious about it. Just give it time and the two of you will work through it. We should go inform the others now that you are awake." She grabbed Dirk's arm and pulled him towards the door.

"Good to see you are on your way to okay, bro. Later."

"Later." I give a weak wave with my free(ish) hand. They close the door again behind them, leaving me with a angry yet cuddly boyfriend. Damn, he's starting to sound like Vantas when I describe him like that.

I take the moment to observe my surroundings a little bit better. Looks like a private room with its own bathroom and shower in the corner. Closer to me are the machines that are keeps tabs on my vitals. I see one stand that holds a bag dripping down into a tube that is conveniently attached to me. I bet that it’s drugs, but then I realize how much pain I am still feeling. Fuck. Maybe they were just giving me a low dose until I woke up. I really wouldn’t mind more.

I can hear rain tapping on the window. I wonder if it’s raining because John is upset. I turn back to look at him and find him watching me back.

“I’m not sorry for this.” His brows furrow down at my words. “Anything is worth keeping you safe. Anything.” I can see he wants to say something in return but finally resolves to keep his jaw firmly clenched. I glance at the bed and notice its pretty wide for a single. Maybe I’m just really skinny. It’s probably made for a troll. They can get kinda big. I’m at the center right now, but if I scoot over...

FUCK.

Okay, if Egbert helps me scoot over...

“I want to shift to the left. Mind helping the invalid out?” He raises an eyebrow up at me. “Just help me, John.” He sighs and then gets up and we begin the slow painful process of moving me the huge distance of eight inches. I’m pretty sure my molars are ground to dust with as much jaw clenching as I just did to keep the pain from audibly slipping out. Panting from the effort, I tap the bed next to me. Egbert just sorta looks at me like I am crazy.

“Egderp. Get your beautiful sexy hot ass into bed with me before I get up and drag you in. You can keep up your fucking annoying silent treatment until I am begging you to speak to me again, but it is cruel and unusual punishment to deny me snuggles after I saved your life.” He has the decency to look a bit sheepish as he complies and climbs into bed. His weight rocks the mattress a touch which draws a gasp of pain from me, but then he curls up gently along my side with one arm draped across my waist and his head on my good shoulder. His heat (almost) takes away the pain. “Thanks.”

We fall silent. Well, I fall silent and Egbert stays silent and eventually despite the soft (annoying) beeping from the machines, I start to nod off. I tuck my face into John’s soft warm hair. He smells like home. Maybe I think home smells like John. That’s probably it.

“I love you, John.”


	24. Chapter 24

I wake up again when the doctors come in to check up on me. Crocker had a much better bedside manner than any of these fuckers. Too bad she can’t heal anything more than a paper cut or skinned knee post game because she had some major power behind her during the fights. And she smelled of cookies and cakes instead of sterile hospital. They do up the pain meds for me which I totally appreciate. The docs are also surprising okay with Egbert staying in the room. I have a feeling that my dear brother and sister have something to do with it based on how the nurses flinch when they show up during visiting hours. Heh.

“Dave, You are looking better,” greets Rose

“They gave me drugs,” I grin up at them.

“Holy shit. What did they give you that makes you this loopy.” Dirk leans over to peer into my eyes.

“The good shit.” I am playing up a little, but honestly, I feel world’s better now that every nerve in my body isn’t on red alert with that obnoxious claxon going off.

“The doctors say that you will probably have to stay for about a week so that they can monitor your injuries, especially the internal ones. Unsurprisingly, it seems your head has come through mostly unscathed.”

“Hey, I hear that hard headed joke in there.”

“I am impressed that it was able to penetrate your titanium like skull.”

“Oh ha ha. You are so funny, Lalonde.”

“As much as I enjoy watching your sibling rivalry, I’ve been asked to ask you if you want to have more visitors next allowable period,” Dirk interrupted.

“Heck yea! Who’s in town?”

“Just a handful. Not the full party, of course. We got English, Harley, Vantas, Maryam, Pyrope, and Serket.”

“Not a full party, but a party nonetheless. Yea, sounds like fun.”

“Cool. They are all looking forward to it. Harley says even Karkat though the fuckass doesn’t want to admit it. Her words not mine.” I catch flickers of motion on his shades. He must be connected to the network and telling the others in real time.

“Of course. So, while I’ve been out getting hit by cars, what have you two been up to?”

We spend the rest of the visiting hour catching up on life since the last Home Base get together. Eventually the chimes signally end of visiting hours send them away and I am left alone again with a snuggly but silent boyfriend. I sink back down into the pillows with a heavy sigh. Egbert sits up and looks questioningly at me.

“I’m good. Just still a bit worn out. Who knew healing would be so tiring? I’ll have to give Crocker more credit if her powers worked like this as well. No wonder she slept like the dead on breaks. Though the drugs are really helping. Brain’s a little foggy but hey, I can actually hear myself thinking over the constant ow ow ow I’m feeling in the background.” Egbert, apparently satisfied, settled back down mid monologue. Eventually I ramped down and just listened to the rain outside. I’m still a little unnerved that Egbert is angry at me for saving him. I get that I could have died but other Daves have died for him before. And as much as I try, I can’t remember what I would have said to him at the accident. My memory comprises mostly of bright light, throwing him out of the way, and then pain. I probably said something cheesy like “I love you” or something. He wouldn’t be angry over that. I really hope I didn’t say something like “Go on without me” as a retarded throwback to the paintball. I’m not that stupid. I’m not a damned cliched hero.

I’m not a hero. Now that thought is ringing some bells and not just to when I found Bro. I didn’t get to play the hero in the game. I might have been a Hero as the game defined it, but I wasn’t the Hero. And I was never John’s hero. I, Alpha Dave, never got to save John.

But at the accident... I noticed the car. I pushed him out of the way. I saved him. I (almost) died for him. I got to be his hero.

“Oh.”

Egbert perked up.

“I think I figured it out. Took my battered brain a little while, but I think the mild concussion can be excused for a little traumatic amnesia.”

He tilted his head and I am struck by the image of a puppy who’s waiting for a treat or a head scratch.

“I finally got to be your hero,” I say to him again.

He scrambles out of the bed so fast that I am gasping with pain from the jostling even with the buffer of the drugs. He’s almost to the door before I manage a faint “Wait!” sitting up as far as I can. He stops and turns to me with one hand on the knob, a very angry and upset expression aimed at me. A crack of thunder rattles the window. That confirms that John is affecting the weather.

“I’m not sure why it’s upsetting you so much, but I don’t mean for it to. Will you listen to an explanation first? Please?” He glares at me for a moment more before finally letting go of the knob and leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest and a frown ruining his face. “I’ve never thought of myself as a hero. I mean what kind of hero lets people die. I let all of those doomed Daves die early on while I was getting used to the time powers, I let my brother die, I apparently was going let you and Jade die before Davesprite came back to stop you. And then I let him die. I didn’t want to let anyone else die. And during the boss battles, I didn’t let anyone else die. I’m pretty sure I was the only one who died and thankfully those were cheap deaths. But in order to keep everyone alive, as the Alpha Dave, I couldn’t save you. I couldn’t save anyone. I couldn’t do anything. I had to choose not to save you. I had to consciously refuse to save you each and every time. But I couldn’t let you die which spawned a doomed Dave. He got to save you. He got to protect you where I refused to. He got to die for you. And each time it was a heroic death. I regret that I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I didn’t. I didn’t save you.” Tears are flowing freely down my cheeks. I don’t know how I am still talking but I can feel the sobs in my throat. “I’m not a hero, John.”

He drops his arms limply. Those blue eyes are swimming in tears. He swallows hard and I think he’s going to say something to me, but those sobs break forth as he turns to the door and leaves again. I lie back down. I can’t even roll over so I grab a pillow, hold it over my face, and scream into it. My soul barred and he just walks out. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. My voice gives up and I just end up whimpering. There are no drugs to help dull this pain.


	25. Chapter 25

Apparently I fall asleep as the next thing I know I am being woken up but a soft knock at the door. I look up expectantly, but it’s just Rose. I try to hide my disappointment, but to her it’s probably clear as a neon sign because she murmurs a soft “Sorry.”

“Visiting hours at the Strider exhibit again?”

“Only if you are up for it.”

“Yea. I have to know how much blood they spilled in vengeance over my unconscious broken body. You know, I never asked how long I was out.”

“Two and a half days.”

“Sheesh. Everyone got together pretty quick. At least I didn’t pull a Rip Van Winkle.”

“We are all glad about that.” Lalonde reaches into her pocket and pulls out my aviators. Someone must have been let into our apartment. Or they broke in now that I remember that Serket is with them. “I thought you might want these.”

Either I must look terrible despite my Strider ability to always look good or Rose is that good of a sister to know when I am at my worst. “Yea, I’ll take my security blanket. It’s been a rough day.” She hands them over and I slip them onto my face.

“Dirk and I thought it would be a good idea to limit the group into pairs. Vriska and Terezi are waiting outside.”

“Bring on the legislacerator and her partner." There is really only one person I want to see but these guys had apparently been very enthusiastic about avenging me so might as well indulge them.

Lalonde returns to the door. "As you wish." She opens it and the two trolls walk in.

“Hey there deliciously cherry red cool kid!” Pyrope is grinning ear to ear with too many teeth as she walks in. I swear I can hear the leet speak in her voice. She has her cane but it’s safely tucked away and is mostly just for show around people who don’t know her. She pauses next to the bed for a moment. “You smell a bit salty though.”

“Ooooooooh! You got the niiiiiiiiice stuff.” Serket has come up to the other side and is examining my drugs. “I might have to pick some up as we leave.”

“You will not do any such thing without proper paperwork, Vriska!”

“And you better not try to nick any of mine. That stuff is liquid gold to me.”

“Reeeeeeeealy now?” I hope Egbert hasn’t been hanging out with her because I’ll have to break him of that nasty habit. Again.

“Yea. You touch it, you die.” I turn my head back to Pyrope. “So I hear you headed up the giving the driver who hit me a proper citation.”

“Justice was served!” She punches the air in victory. “I made sure that the criminal was justly punished by right and honest hands.”

“You found loopholes for the digi team to find him and for the brute squad to extract the cost.”

“I object to being called the brute squad,” Vriska huffs in response.

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure your dice don’t do much here so you probably used blunt force and did English proud with your fisticuffs.”

“Heh, guilty as changed. I’m not above getting my hands bloody.” She includes a dramatic hair flip at the confession.

“Only in the name of justice, Vriska!”

“Yea, yea, sure.” The cerulean troll waves a hand at her partner.

“It’s good to see you guys.”

“It’s good to smell you too, cool kid.” She leans over the bed and breathes in deeply. “Though you smell too much like blackberries, mold, and asphalt.”

“I’ll correct that for next time.”

We chat aimlessly for a while until Lalonde returns to swap out the Scourge Sisters for Team Fuckass. Ever since Harley met Vantas, her language has gone to shit. Vantas still gets the award for most creative word spew, but it’s still unnerving to see such a cute girl swearing like a sailor.

I ask Lalonde to frisk Serket for any stolen medical paraphernalia while Pyrope gives me her customary goodbye slobber with a secretive whisper of “You are going to be okay.”

“Later, bitches!” I call out as they leave. Lalonde gives me a look that reads “Are you still good?” I throw her a thumbs up and brace myself for the next wave.

Bracing was a good idea as Harley comes barreling into the room with all intent and purpose of hugging me until I was better or until I slipped back into the coma from the pain, but bless his blood pusher, Vantas snags her by the back of her collar and stops her mere inches from my bed.

“Karkat, I love you,” I whisper as my life flashes before my eyes.

“Wrong quadrant, fuck nuts. Or did the pathetic bag of bile who doesn’t know how to operate a four-wheeled automotive device cause serious think-pan damage? Because if he did, I wouldn’t mind going back and making it equal.”

“Nah, brain’s alright. And I still hate you and your little nubby horns,” he starts sputtering at that, “but seriously Harley, you were coming at me as if you were gonna finish the job.”

“NO! No, no, no!” Her hair whips around as she shakes her head. “I’d never do that. I guess I just got a little excited. It’s so good to see you awake and okay, Dave!” With a cheeky smile like that, I can’t help but forgive her.

“I know I know, but you just gotta be careful with the merchandise.”

“Yes sir, hands off of the cool kid!” She gives me a mock salute.

“As nice as it is to see you guys, aren’t you a little far from home though? Last time I heard you were out in the middle of southern Asia checking out the monk’s temples. I didn’t know you cared so much, Karkles.”

“I don’t, you pretentious insufferable prick. I just happened to be standing too close to Jade when she got the news.” I raise an eyebrow at this. Not that anyone can actually see said eyebrow but after years of being around me, they have picked up what that twitch of bangs means. “John called her and upset her so when I reached over to see what was wrong, I was suddenly here. We think that she tapped into her game abilities somehow.”

“So both Egbert and Harley get to utilize magic powers in their times of crisis but I couldn’t stop time and like casually remove my person from in front of an oncoming car that could have killed me? I think my crisis was a little more dire. Fucking game, screwing with me even now.” Both visitors fell silent at my uncharacteristic outburst. Today has been a very bad day.

“Maybe...” Harley began softly, almost apologetically, “maybe you weren’t upset enough to call on them.”

My jaw drops. Poker face be damned. “I- I wasn’t upset enough?”

“What she means is that you aren’t scared of dying. You never really have been. That’s what made you a great Time player. Like Aradia; though she wasn’t scared of death because she was already fucking dead. You were constantly dying for us in the game. You didn’t even flinch when you took a regisword or blast or trident for someone. So when the car was going to hit you and John, you just reacted,” Vantas finishes with a shrug.

“Oh.” That actually makes sense. The bucktooth siblings are very into their emotions while I do tend to hide them to the point of ignoring their existence. And I’m not scared of death. Seen too much I guess. “Well, still fucking sucks.”

“I bet. You don’t look comfortable.” Jade gestured to the casts sticking out under the sheets.

“Two broken legs will do that, even to me.”

“Is there anything you can do to make it better?”

Find John and bring him back to me. “Nah, I got plenty of sexy nurses looking after me.”

“Didn’t know John was a nurse.”

“He isn’t. But as soon as I get a hold of Maryam he will have the outfit.”

Harley bursts out laughing as Vantas goes off on a tirade of how he doesn’t need to hear about the shenanigans that Egbert and I do behind closed doors. As soon as he pauses for breath, I inform him that we didn’t always closed the door. This spawns another fit of flying spit and hair pulling and threatened eye gouging. Harley is actually rolling on the floor laughing as Vantas gets more and more creative in his name calling. Someone has to stop this. Using a curled finger I beckon him over. With an eye roll he comes over still jabbering away about some perceived insult. I grab him by the front of his shirt and smash his lips to mine. Ow. But hey, it shut him up.

After a moment of shock, he’s kissing me back, all vicious sharp edges. I can taste blood by the time he pulls away. Not very far but just enough to break the kiss.

“Haven’t gotten a chance to go that in a while.”

“Fuck you, Strider.”

“I’m a little indisposed at the moment for that activity, but I’m pretty sure Maryam could get you a matching nurse outfit if you want to stick around until I get all better.” The exchange sets Jade howling with laughter again. I take the moment to whisper furtively to Vantas. “Find and talk with John for me.” His nod is almost imperceptible but I release my grip on his shirt when I see it. “Or maybe a butler getup. Egbert will be my nurse and you’ll be my servant. Harley, wouldn’t he look good in a tux?”

She nods as she tries to catch her breath. The three of us banter back and forth until Lalonde comes around again. Harley leaves me with a sweet kiss to the forehead and Vantas stalks out of the room with a single finger salute and my laughter following him.

Enter in my siblings’ significant others.

Maryam is ever the elegant lady, sweeping in with good taste and poise. Lalonde is one lucky woman. English on the other hand is an adventurer who believes himself a gentleman, but I have no clue what is gentle about him. I still can’t understand what Dirk sees in him. Maybe that’s the irony of it.

“Dave, my good boy! It’s golly good to see you! Though I wish it had been on better terms, but you do not look like the corpse that your brother has been describing you as.”

“I’m not dead yet,” I deadpan, ironically calling forth a movie that I am sure that he has seen, but in totally the wrong accent so he doesn’t get it, bringing it up another level of irony.

“That is not what he means, Dave,” Maryam tries to diffuse.

“I know. I’m more concerned with the fact that Dirk is spreading lies that I don’t look perfect one hundred percent of the time. That must be the reason that the hospital isn’t swarmed with my loyal fans. They can’t believe such lies as that and therefore don’t believe that I’m in the hospital at all.”

“Yes, that must be what it is,” Maryam plays along with my utter bullshit, while English chimes in with “What fans?”

I ignore him and look to the jade troll, “Maryam, seamstress extraordinaire, I have a couple projects for you.”

“Projects? I am intrigued.” She pulls out a sketchbook from the satchel at her side and primly sits in the chair by my side.

“Three to be exact. The first two are timely, but not exactly necessary,” she waves at a hand for me to get on with it, “One is a sexy nurse outfit for Egbert since he’ll have to take care of me while this mess heals and I’d like to have some fun with it.” She nods with a small knowing smile. English is in the background sputtering a little and pulling on his collar. “The second is a butler tux for the nubby one that just left. That one is to be appreciated by myself and Harley. Because honestly who doesn’t want their own personal midget server. Maybe Harley and I will rent him out to the rest of the group.” That garners a laugh out of Maryam as she opens the notebook to write the requests down.

“And the third request?”

“Have you heard of steampunk?”

Maryam’s answer of “Vaguely,” is almost drowned out by English’s loud response of “Yes! Proper fellows in that genre. Very posh and proper indeed. I have several volumes and movies detailing several adventures in that vein.”

“Well, you can either ask English to temporarily part with those gems of doubtful quality, or you could just go a quick internet search into it, but in a brief synopsis, it’s a large thought experiment into a certain what-if about using steam power instead of electricity which somehow locks everyone into the Victorian era where they decorate everything with copper or bronze metal pieces. Anyways, I’d like an outfit for myself in that style.”

“Any particular reason.”

“Can’t I just want cool duds?”

“Right. I will ask John to elaborate what he wants.”

“It’s for a Halloween party,” I blurt out quickly.

“Halloween isn’t for months...” English tries to puzzle out. His face scrunches down in an eerily familiar manner.

“I will keep it a secret then.” That’s what I love about this girl. She gets subtle nuances. Probably why she and Lalonde get along. Actually she works well with any of the Strider/Lalonde brand. “Though once you have internet access, feel free to send me samples of designs that you like.” She finishes taking notes and tucks her stuff away.

“Sure thing.” I shrug nonchalantly and almost manage to hide the wince at the pain caused by the movement.

“You really shouldn’t do such foolhardy things like jump in front of cars, Dave,” English chides, catching my brief lapse in my poker face. I stare incredulously up at him as I try to process his words. _He’s_ calling _me_ foolhardy.

“Yea, ‘cause I totally did that on purpose,” I deadpan back at him.

“Dave!” he starts before Maryam tells him that of course I didn’t mean to and didn’t actually want to be hit by a car. Jegus, how does Dirk stand him let alone date him if he’s always this literal that he can’t even pick up on the most obvious sarcasm.

“English,” I interrupt, “I hear you have a recording.”

“I’m uh... not supposed to according to Terezi... but I accidently did record it as I streamed it to Dirk.”

“What the legislacerator doesn’t know, she can’t prosecute. Send me a copy when you get a chance. It will cheer me up a bit about not being able to walk around for a while.”

“Uh, yea. I can do that.”

“About your legs, Dave. I have made some pants that will be easy to wear around your casts. I have done similar designs for Tavros.”

“Thanks. That’s really awesome. I haven’t even gotten around to thinking about that.”

“You are quite welcomed.” The chimes that signals the end of visiting hours interrupts. English cheerily waves goodbye and ducks out. Maryam rises out of the chair, leans over the edge of the bed, and places a tender kiss on my forehead. “Get well soon, Dave.”

“I’ll work on it.”

Then she leaves to find my sister, leaving me alone in the room. I wait for fifteen minutes, staring at the door like a hopeless fool. But it doesn’t open.

I can feel the edges of fatigue at the base of my skull. Putting up a front for all of my friends is harder than one would think. Plus all of the healing I’m supposed to be doing on top of that. I take off the shades and wait for a nap.


	26. Chapter 26

I slowly wake up feeling very warm. I try to lift my arm to wipe the sleep from my eyes, but it’s trapped again under a weight. I quickly glance down and find John once again snuggled into my side. I must have been really out of it for me not have woken up when he climbed in.

He came back.

I don’t move. I don’t flinch at all. I don’t want him to leave again, but I have no power to stop him. I close my eyes and try to memorize how he feels against me. His slow deep breathing means that he’s asleep. His hand is curled up on my chest. Its weight is nice and warm. His legs are dangerously close to mine. Doesn’t surprise me since we usually get tangled up at night like a pair of fucking tangle buddies. As much as I usually enjoy that, I don’t think broken legs need to be tangled with anything. They are going to take fucking forever to heal as it is.

I fight the sleep that tries to tug me back under again, but between the drugs and John, I am all warm and fuzzy and sleep is right there.

* * *

The next time I wake up it’s because I am cold. I mean I’m usually as chill as the bottom of the antarctic, but it’s really unattractive how I shiver and the way goosebumps pucker up across my skin right now. I grope around for the blankets and find them piled up where Egbert had been. Oh my gog, he’s a blanket hog even when he’s not here.

Wait.

He’s not here. Fuck. Where did he go?

I manage to flick the blankets over myself and the shivering goes down. I am contemplating how to get out of this gog-damned bed and search for the blue wonder when the door opens and he comes in. He doesn’t notice I’m awake because he’s too busy minding the tray of cafeteria fare in his hands. He makes it halfway across the room before he looks up. He freezes up like a deer caught in the headlights.

“You take away my personal heater and all of the blankets yet you are surprised that I wake up when my teeth are chattering loudly because I’m shivering my ass off. I like being penguin cool not deep space ‘they can’t hear you when you scream’ kind of cold.” That finally breaks his trance as he raises an eyebrow at the descriptors. “Earlier train of thought,” I dismiss with a wave of my hand. “Anyways, any of that for me?”

He nods and sets the tray down on a table next to the bed. He picks up, cracks open, and passes me tall bottle of apple juice. I take the elixir from his hand and am about to take the first sip when I hear, “Sorry.”

I probably have the same frozen expression he had a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry for being such an idiot and a terrible boyfriend. I was really upset and confused about all of it and what you said and what you meant. I was angry that you thought like that. Angry at the idea that you thought you weren’t my hero. Do you know how many times you saved me? How many times I saw you die for me? How much it hurt to see my best friend die again and again and again? I got through because it was just a fucking game. You were still alive as Alpha Dave, and I could keep going. Couldn’t dwell before something else happened. But, every once in awhile I would hold you as you died for me. I got your blood on my hands. You would smile up at me and say that. ‘I get to be your hero.’ Every fucking time you died you said that line.

“And don’t give me bullshit about how they weren’t you, that they were just doomed Daves. They were you and you are them. I don’t know why you don’t see that. I don’t understand why you keep saying that, kept saying that. You’ve been my hero since we were like fucking ten years old and I thought you were the coolest. You’ve always been my hero.” His hands are balled up into fists at his side and tears are streaming down his cheeks. “And then this happened and you did the same damn thing you did the entire game. You got me out of the way and took the blow yourself. You could have shouted at me to move, tackled me out of the way, pulled me along, done anything else, but instead you pushed me away and stood there so that I could watch that fucking car hit you! That was scary enough, but then you had to fucking say that line.

“But we aren’t in the game anymore. There is only one Dave. There is only my Dave. And he was telling me that same lie. Only you added a word. You said ‘finally.’ And that’s not fair. And it scared me. It scared me so fucking bad.” I mentally curse my broken legs. I want to go to him and hold him and tell him that it’s all better now, he doesn’t have to be scared now. “The doctors told me that you were going to live, but I couldn’t get over how upset you made me. It was one thing in the game. But this isn’t the game anymore and you can’t die for me. You can’t just save me to let me live on without you. That’s not fair!” Lightning flashes and the thunder smashes against the window five milliseconds later.

I slowly lower the apple juice from my lips and set the bottle down on the table. I open my arms and beckon him over. He shuffles to me, sniffling through his tears. He gently climbs into the bed with me, tucking his head into my chest. I wrap my arms around him and feel him shudder with sobs. My shirt is going to be a soaking wet mess but thankfully it’s only the hospital garb.

“Pr-promise me, promise me you won’t, won’t do it again,” he chokes out between breaths.

I sigh into his hair. “I can’t, John. I can’t promise that. I will always try to save you. I love you too much.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I know, John. I know. I’m not sorry for saving you. But I am sorry, so sorry for scaring you.”

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”

“Sorry for letting that car hit me.”

“Sorry for not talking to you.”

“Sorry for saying that line.”

“Sorry for walking out on you.”

“Sorry for not being upset enough.”

“Huh?” He pulls slightly away from me to look at my face. “You are plenty upset. You’re more upset than I’ve ever seen you in your life even if you combined all the moments.”

“Not now. At the accident. I didn’t use my powers like you or Jade did.”

“Because you weren’t upset enough?”

“That’s Karkat’s theory. Apparently I am so badass that being hit by a car doesn’t even phase me. Guess I’m still not scared of dying.”

“Makes sense.You’re Dave motherfucking Strider.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“But you better get scared so that next time a car tries to hit us, you can pull out those mad time skills and save me without getting your ass handed to you on a silver platter.”

“You just used a z, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“You just said skills as if it was spelled with a z at the end.”

“No...”

“Yes you did, you dork.”

“I’m not a dork.”

“Yes you are. It’s one of the reasons I love you.” I can feel him pout/smile into my chest as I kissed the top of his head.

“I love you too,” he murmurs.

“So, we’re okay now right?”

“I’m still angry at you.”

“No, you aren’t. It’s stopped raining.”

“Fine. I’m not.”

“We’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“How’s nubby horns?”

“I think his nose has stopped bleeding.”

I crane my neck down to look at Egbert in the face. He’s biting his lip and not looking up at me. “What?”

“After visiting you he came looking for me and found me and asked me what was wrong and I didn’t want to talk to him but he kept asking until I eventually broke down and told him what you said and that I was angry at you and he told me that I was being stupid so I punched him in the nose and then he told me that I need to stop being a wriggler and I should tell you what I was feeling and I punched him again and then he yelled at me so I punched him again and then he spoke softly and I knew he was right so I came here but you were sleeping so I joined you and then I got hungry and thought you would be hungry too so I went and got food and then when I came back you were awake and I think you know the rest.”

“You punched Vantas in the nose? Three times?” I start laughing.

“You sent him to talk to me, didn’t you?”

“Yup. And then you punched him in the nose! This is great!”

“No it’s not! I feel really bad about it!” He clutches at my shirt and buries his face into me.


	27. Chapter 27

Turns out that Vantas was just fine. Trolls are tougher than the average human and while Egbert is also stronger than the average human, he’s still okay.

For the next week, Egbert tried not to leave my side except to go get some food for the two of us. In the middle though, Dirk and English had to drag him out of the room to force him to take a shower. Their bruises might last longer than Vantas’. Lalonde was in charge of that the second time and she didn’t lay a hand on him. I don’t know what she said to make that happen. All I know is that my sister is a terrifying woman.

The doctors leave me alone for the most part. Only coming in once a day to check on everything but it seems like everything is set and healing like it should be. I’ll be out by next weekend, but I’ll be regulated to a wheelchair and crutches until my legs are strong enough. Maryam dropped off a suitcase full of fashionable cast friendly clothes. It feels really nice to be able to wear more than a paper nightgown.

Dirk, English, Pyrope and Serket all head back to their own lives during the week. English lets me know that a copy of the recording is in my email’s inbox for my later perusal. Lalonde sticks around for a little longer, even though her girlfriend had to return for some fashion show. She helps Egbert with the paperwork as she is my sister by ectobiology and legal shenanigans. Harley and Vantas stick around for Egbert’s sake. They’ve been staying at the apartment and have been making sure it’s clean and stocked with fresh food. I don’t want to think about what else they might have been up to. Alone in my apartment. Nope. Not even going to entertain that thought.

* * *

Egbert’s a little too full of himself when he comments about how easy it is to lift me from the bed to the wheelchair as they discharge me from the hospital. And of course he does it bridal style. Yes Egbert I am a skinny fucker and yes you have the strongest hammer arms. So strong they are making me swoon. Oh fuck, put me down. Do not spin me around. “OW!”

“Sorry, Dave,” he apologizes sheepishly as he gently settles me into the chair. It’s not very fancy like Nitram’s was, but then again we don’t still have the alchemizers to create epic bullshit like rocket chairs. Instead it means that Egbert will be in charge of my mobility until I get clearance for crutches.

He wheels me from the room that I have effectively been trapped in for two weeks out through to lobby to the car. He gets to pick me up again to move me to the front seat being very careful and gentle. I thank him with minimal sarcasm as he folds the chair up and tosses it in the back.

When we get back to the apartment he wheels me around the lobby until we finally find the elevator. We’ve never had to use it since we moved in so we sort of forgot where it was. Now it will be my main transportation between the apartment and the rest of the world. Wonderful, I think to myself as the metal box of death shudders its way up to our floor. Even Egbert starts to eye it warily as we slowly pass the seventh floor. Maybe I’ll just have him carry me down the stairs. Ironic piggy back and everything.

Our place does look nice and smells fresh when we open the door. Looks like Harley and Vantas took good care of it. I notice a box on the table wrapped up in jade colored paper with a note on top. I smirk to myself; Maryam really outdoes herself sometimes. Egbert is too busy to notice it as he is balancing my suitcases and small bag of medical paraphernalia while he maneuvers me over to the couch. As he lifts to transfer me from chair to couch I wrap my arms around his neck so that when he tries to pull away, I hold on tight.

“What are yo-” I cut him off with a kiss. It takes him a moment before he gives in and kisses me back. He braces himself with one hand on the back of the couch and the other one on my shoulder. My hands dig happily into his hair, my nails dragging across his scalp. I take out how good it feels to be home on Egbert. Not that he minds of course. It’s a long deep kiss before I finally let him go and it’s another couple of seconds of liplock before he pulls himself away.

“There’s a gift for me on the table. Go open it.”

“I could bring it over for you.”

“Nah, just open it.”

He raises an eyebrow up at me then shrugs and goes over to it. “It’s from Kanaya. I thought she dropped all the new clothes for you at the hospital.”

“Just open it. Jegus, you analyze every gift you get.” I push myself up against one arm of the couch so I can watch. I am honestly interested in how Maryam is going to interrupt my sexy nurse request. I also wonder how much pitiful begging I’ll have to go through to get him to try it on.

* * *

Actually it doesn’t turn out to be that much begging. Maryam, bless her thinkpan, didn’t go the traditional cheesy sexy nurse route with short skirt and too small blouse that strain over voluptuous chests. Which is a good thing really because Egbert doesn’t have the chest or legs to pull off that look. He’s bursting with mangrit not boobs.

So instead the outfit looks more like surgical scrubs, but obviously not. The pants are straight legged with a tie at the waist instead of the usual elastic. The smock isn’t as loose as the pants and shows off Egbert’s physique very well. I don’t think v-necks that plunge that low are regulation. She even included one of those hair caps that actually has that cheesy cross symbol which is universal for nurse. The fabric that she used is soft cotton instead of the stiff polyester shit that we experienced at the hospital. It is this pastel blue that somehow echoes the hospital’s terrible pallet without actually being terrible. Honestly, it looks really good on Egbert.

“So... what do you think?” Egbert asks as he emerges from the bathroom. I have to prop myself further up on the couch to see the full uniform.

“I think that you can’t wear that outside of the apartment.”

“It’s that bad?”

“No. It’s that good. I’d have to be fighting off swarms of people trying to get you to look at some rash in some inappropriate place. I’d have to do it without actually hurting them because that would give them a reason to have you look at them. At the same time, I’d have to restrain myself from doing the exact same thing. Given two unbroken legs of course.”

“Oh.” He blushes lightly. He has this thing for when I get slightly jealous of him, even when it’s against imagined crowds.

“Paging nurse Egbert, paging hot sexy nurse Egbert. One of your patients is experiencing strange blood flow. We’ll need you to personally check on him to make sure it’s not an injury. We’ll leave him in your good hands to alleviate any problems you may find.”

“Oh my gog, that sounds like a cheesy porn introduction. Did I just step into a porno?”

“Well guess what. This is gonna get X-rated and you are the porn star. It is you. Now stop breaking the fourth wall and get into character.”

“Get into character? I don’t know what to do! I’ve never done this!”

“I gave you like the easiest prompt in roleplaying history.” He continues to stare at me with that confused look. “Just get over here and start examining me, Nurse Egbert. Jegus!” That finally gets him moving. He pauses halfway across the room.

“Do I need any props?”

It takes every ounce of control not to facepalm at him. I understand that he is Egbert and he will always act like an Egbert, but I swear he is actively trying to kill the mood. “No, Egbert. You have your hands. We don’t need medical probes or anything like that. I didn’t even know you were into that shit.”

“Guh. No. Hands are fine. Dave. Just no. I swear you are trying to kill the mood.” Facepalm resist combo times two.

“You can cross nurse off the list of future occupations, Egbert. Your reaction time to strange blood flow is so pitiful that if I was actually injured, I would have bled out a while ago. Instead, you need to get your ass over here and start attending to my needs.”

“Uh, sure.” He comes around to my side of the couch and stands there awkwardly. It’s kinda adorable. “Uh, so what seems to be the problem, Mr. Strider?”

“I’m feeling a bit warm. You should take my temperature.” I reach out and grab his hand, pulling it towards me. He lurches forward a little but catches himself on the back of the couch with his other hand. I place his palm on my forehead and it is comfortably cool.

“Hmm, you are fairly, hot.” He licks his lips at the last word. There we go, mood is back. “But I need to make absolutely sure.” He leans over and kisses my forehead. Something that sweet really shouldn’t be that sexy, but my dick disagrees with that sentiment. His hand glides down around the edge of my face, along my jawline, and down to my neck. “Now to check your pulse.” He moves his thumb into position, wrapping the other fingers around. Again, the coolness of his skin is delicious even as his hand is warming up to my temperature. His face stays hovering over mine as he presses down lightly on my throat. My breath catches with how good that feels. With his face this close to mine, he doesn’t miss my reaction, and he presses just a little bit harder. I can feel my jugular trying to push the blood around his thumb. I am suddenly acutely aware of how air flows in my throat as the other fingers join in, holding me tight but not blocking anything. Yet.

I’m breathing harder from just that when he closes the distance between us and kisses me hard. When he finally lets me go, I am definitely panting. “You seem to be having some breathing problems. I’ll need to check your chest.” He grabs the bottom of my shirt and pulls it up. I help him take it off and it is tossed away. He shifts farther down the couch and lays his head against my chest. “Now take some deep breaths.” I control my breathing and follow his instructions. Or I would if his hands would stay still. Instead they move across my torso, purposefully running over sensitive points with blunt nails. My breath hitches whenever they do. I can feel his grin pushing against his cheeks as he rests against my bare chest.

“Yes... there seems to be a problem,” he comments at he lifts off of me. “But it’s not on your upper body, obviously.” His hands haven’t stopped exploring my torso. “I think we might have to examine your lower regions.” His hands finally come to a rest on the waistband of my cast friendly shorts. His smile shifts slightly from sexy mischief to a sheepish grin. “Am I doing this right?” he asks, breaking character.

“Perfectly. Unless that bulge in my shorts is lying. Then you might have to step up your game.” That sexy smirk comes back as he glances down to his hands and really looks at the state he’s put me in.

“Well then, that might be the source of your issues. Let’s have a look, shall we?” He pulls the shorts down to mid-thigh, exposing me all at once to the cold air. I am thankful that we have such a wide couch as he straddles my thighs. I wince as the movement jostles my legs even inside the casts. I gasp as his fingers, which have cooled off again, grasp me. “Let me take care of this problem for you.” Then his hand is moving. I drop my head back in pleasure as he strokes and pumps me. Gog, I have missed this. Getting hit by a car is not good for the sex life.

I try to stay focus on the way he touches me and how good it feels, but my concentration keeps getting interrupted by jolts of pain as he shifts over me and when he starts rocking his hips in time with his strokes, it’s too much.

“Hang on,” I pant. He slows down, tilting his head slightly at me. “Too much for the legs.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I’ll stop.” He leans forward as if to get away from them despite the movement that is translated to his knees and the cushion below my legs.

“Never stop being sexy, Egbert. We’ll just have to do it another way.” I grip the back of his thighs and tug forward. “Come here.” He shuffles forward which is painful until he moves onto the next cushion, then I get to let out a soft sigh of relief. Now he is straddling my chest which brings his crotch and subsequent bulge in his pants closer to my face, especially with how I am propped up by the arm of the couch. I reach up and pull on the strings of the tie on Egbert’s pants. Thanks to Maryam’s genius this opens up the top of his pants for easy access to the treasure I am looking for. So easy in fact that it basically pops out as the fabric falls away.

I will never get over how sexy having him this close to me is.

I reach out and hold him, bringing the head to my lips as I lean forward. He moans loudly as the heat of my mouth envelops the cap. I won’t be able to go deep from this position but I’ll make it up. My hand grips him comfortably and my lips press tightly around his shaft. My tongue sweeps across the head in wide lavish strokes. I change it up every once in a while with a swirl around the ridge of the head or I worry the very tip with my tongue until he cries for mercy. The sounds that he makes spur me on. I really need to set up some recording equipment to catch them.

His hands reach down and bury themselves in my hair, tugging that light amount that he knows that I love. His hips thrust softly, testing how much room he has to move. I let him go as far as is comfortable, my lips sliding over the shaft as he pushes in and pulls out. My hand stills, letting him set the pace. It’s slow at first, almost hesitant. Then he builds up speed while his vocals also increase, telling me how good I feel, how much he’s wanted this, how much he loves me like this. Every word goes straight to my core, building me up even though he isn’t touching me. Both of my hands move to his ass, gripping the muscles tight as he continues to rock shallowly by quickly into my mouth. I press my lips tightly and suck.

“Dave! Oh fuck, Dave. Feels so damn good. Dave, Dave, I’m gonna...” He curls over me, holding himself up on the arm of the couch. His hips go still. I take the moment to suck hard and I am rewarded with a cry out and he’s cumming into my mouth. I swallow quickly as his cock twitches with every load. As soon as he is done, I release him with a soft pop. I feel like I am on fire I am so hot for him.

“John, please. Please touch me.” He looks down at me with half closed blue eyes, panting slightly. I moan with how absolutely sexy he looks and I shudder at the idea I made him look like that. “Please,” I beg. Slowly, almost lethargically he leans back, reaching one hand towards my straining cock. He doesn’t grab it; no, he simply strokes it with the tips of his fingers, letting them trail up the length. And that’s all I need. The softness undoes me in all the best ways. I cum against his hand and across my stomach. He doesn’t look away from my face as pleasure courses through me.

I come down from my high with a still pounding heartbeat and ragged breaths. John is in a similar state above me. He smiles lazily down at me. “I think my patient is in good enough health. I recommend rest after such physical activity.”

I laugh out loud at his dedication to the role. “You are too much, Egbert. Now get off me and get a washcloth.”


	28. Chapter 28

Two weeks later I am bored out of my skull.

This not having legs thing is for the birds. I have much higher respect for Nitram and have even gotten so bored as to talk to him to tell him so.

Even Egbert has taken to escaping the apartment. It’s under the guise of errands, but anytime I mention something even from a stupid commercial, he’s up on his feet with the car keys in hand to go and get it. Then he stays out for longer than it should take. I know. I’m a fucking hero of Time. That’s also why it’s only taken sixteen days, three hours, four minutes, and twelve seconds from getting out of the hospital for me to break down and call Crocker.

“Jane Crocker speaking.”

“Babe, you have to help me. Like dire consequences gotta help me.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s not life or death but it’s getting there. I need you here now and I need you to tap into your game powers one more fucking time and help a fucker out. I can’t stand this anymore. Actually I’d love to be able to stand. That’s my problem. I want to stand but I can’t. What favors can I owe you to get you on the next plane over here for your help? Financial? Musical? Sexual? Seriously, you name it and it will happen.”

“Who is- oh, it’s you, Dave.”

“Do you not check caller ID when you pick up the phone?”

“No. I think it’s rude to already know the caller before they introduce themselves. I’d hate to assume. I mean, what if John had to borrow your phone. I would have assumed it was you, Dave, when it really was John.”

“I could see the trouble with that. You’d go all conversation thinking that dork was the coolkid and every word he’d say would detract from my reputation. Thank you from saving us all from that embarrassment. Now, when can you get here?”

“This is about your legs, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s about Egbert’s skull. Oh wait, that’s too thick to ever damage. Yes, it’s my legs. I need them fixed. I need them unbroken. I need them repaired with a plan that doesn’t take another four weeks.”

“I don’t have my healing powers anymore, Dave. We aren’t inside the game.”

“So everyone keeps telling me. That doesn’t stop me from being a walking atomic watch or Egbert from becoming a personal emergency helicopter or Harley from teleporting halfway around the globe.”

“Yes, I am aware of their use of powers. But I am afraid I don’t have that capability.”

“Just tap into some traumatic emotions. You Prospitian players tend to be good at that.”

“Yes, for John, Jade, and especially Jake. But I’ve always tended to be more reserved.”

“Reserved, my ass. I saw you when Roxy got hurt in the game. You went scary. I mean ballistic to the point that the Hulk would look like a pansy compared to the havoc you wrecked with that fork. Makara was taking notes on how to do that much damage. There was a good thousand foot radius of death and destruction around you at the sight of Roxy with a bit of blood.”

“Hoo hoo, alright I do get quite passionate in certain circumstances, but unless the accident occurred right in front of me, I am afraid I can’t do anything.”

“Fuck.”

“I’m sorry, Dave. I would have been there at the very beginning if I thought I could have helped.”

“I know. I know. I am just fucking over not being able to talk on my own. I’m getting major cabin fever.”

“Five weeks, isn’t that long. It’ll pass before you know it!”

“Remember that statement about being a walking clock? I know every second that passes. There is no fast forward button either.”

“I’m truly sorry, Dave. But the only thing I can do for you is send you some get well cakes.”

“Don’t worry about that. Dad has already taken care of that. I didn’t know there were that many flavors of cake or that many ways to say get well. He’s dipping into foreign languages now to keep icing something new on top of the cakes.”

“That sounds like Dad.”

“Yea, well. If you do managed to get upset about anything, send some healing waves in my directions, okay Crocker?”

“I will, Dave. I’ll send my love until then and tell John hello from me as well.”

“I will if he ever gets back from getting me chocolate milk. I mean how long does it take to run to grocery store? He is going to a dairy farm to get it straight from the source and then realizing that brown cows don’t make chocolate milk?”

“Hoo hoo! Good bye, Dave.”

“Later, Crocker.”

* * *

When Egbert finally shows back up, his arms are loaded with paper bags printed with an insignia that I don’t recognize.

“Did you go out of state for my chocolate milk?”

“No, Dave, that’s stupid.”

“You took long enough to hop state lines and come back.”

“I didn’t take that long,” he argues.

“Two hours, six minutes, and forty one seconds.”

“Will you quit it with the time thing? It’s not like I am running a race or anything.”

“I can’t quit the time thing. I can’t just turn it off. It’s always there. My brain is ticking away like a bomb strapped to the bottom of a runaway bus hurtling down the highway of life, unable to slow down below fifty five miles per hour. Every second chimes down the echoing hallways of my mind, proclaiming the time like an old grandfather clock. There is no span of time that goes unmeasured in my subconscious because time has been wrapped into every fiber of my body. My heartbeat is regulated to a set tempo that echos my element. I am time and time is me. And I can’t quit being me.”

“Oh my gog. Stop being so melodramatic and take your chocolate milk.” He shoves the carton at me and takes the rest of the groceries to the kitchen. “I just went to a new organic grocery store that just opened. I saw it the other day and have been wanting to check it out. Geez.”

I open the top of the carton and drown the pain of the dismissal in the smooth brown liquid. I guess Egbert isn’t the best person to complain about my Sburb side effects to. Emergency flight and excessive emotional discharge storms aside, Egbert’s element remains passive in his post game life. I’ve talked with Megido about how she deals with it, but apparently it manifests differently in her brain. We don’t know if it’s because she died or because she stayed behind as we went to the Alpha session or if her music boxes really affected her element that much, but time to her is more musical and less clockwork like it is for me. I really hate that fucking game. And it actually bothers me that Egbert can just brush me off like that.

“They had a cool selection of fancy cheeses at this new place. I mean, I found one called drunken goat. I just get the best mental image of a goat swaying and stumbling around drunk!” I cap the milk and hold it out for him to take it when he’s through putting the rest away. “So does organic chocolate milk taste any different from normal chocolate milk?”

“Organic is just a bullshit title that they slap on there to make housewives and soccer moms shell out more money to offset any guilt about not giving their husbands or children enough attention because they are too busy micromanaging their lives and banging the pool guy slash tennis coach slash gardener.”

“Do you feel like I’m not giving you enough attention?”

“What?” I raise an eyebrow in his direction as I replay my words. Sometimes I let my mouth run ahead. Oh, of course he would pick up on that. “Are you banging the pool guy slash tennis coach slash karate master, Egbert?”

“No!”

“Then that doesn’t apply to you. You fall into the gullible consumer who falls for blatant marketing tricks like shiny packaging or declarations of ‘new and improved’ which is an obvious oxymoron. It can’t be new and improved. If it had to be improved it wasn’t new and if it’s new then it shouldn’t have already needed improvement.”

“I’m not gullible.”

“It’s on the ceiling.” I smirk as I watch his head twitch up before he catches himself.

“Wow, you’re being mean today. And I even went out and got you your chocolate milk.”

“I didn’t want chocolate milk. There was a commercial on TV about a Troll version of Nesquik and I mentioned that I hadn’t had that since early childhood and the next time I know you are at the door with the keys in your hand telling me you are getting me some chocolate milk. I am simply bored as fuck because I can’t get around on my own and I really just want to walk but I can’t because a fucking car hit me. But half of the time I can’t even get off of the couch because my boyfriend is off getting drunken goat cheese and organic chocolate milk that I didn’t even ask for. As much as I love your ass, I am getting sick of watching it as you walk out on me.”

“You didn’t have to get hit by the car. No one asked to you stand in front of the car.”

“Fuck, Egbert, that’s not the point.”

“No, the point is that you are stuck in the apartment because a car hit you and broke your legs so now I have to be stuck here alongside your ungrateful ass.”

My jaw drops. I feel like one of Bro’s ventriloquist dolls with the way my mouth hangs open. I feel just as empty inside at his words. I can’t come up with anything to say before he’s grabbing his jacket and keys and he’s at the door.

“Time this, you fucking stopwatch.”

When I finally pull my eyes away from the closed front door, I track them over the window. Sure enough it’s a cloudy gray and threatening to rain. I still can’t tell if he affects the weather or if the weather affects him.


	29. Chapter 29

“Do you have a moment?”

“I cleared my schedule two hours ago. What took you so long to call?”

“First I had to overcome my disbelief of what just happened. Then I had to scoot across the floor to retrieve my phone from where I had chucked it. Then I had to figure out who would be the best person to call. That last step took two seconds.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Haha, you’re so funny, Lalonde.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of the situation.”

“You’ve been speaking to the punny guys again, haven’t you? You probably aren’t even aware you are making them.”

“I admit I have been communicating with Nepeta and Feferi if those are the ‘punny guys’ you are referring to.”

“Yup.”

“But I am sure that you don’t want to talk about them. What happened two hours ago that prompted this call?”

“Egbert got mad at me. As you are probably aware of.”

Lalonde made a soft noise of agreement.

“And he hasn’t come back. He walked out again and he hasn’t come back. I’m going nuts with cabin fever because it’s such a pain in the ass to get out of the apartment without working legs so I’m basically been stuck at home while my boyfriend flits in and out of here on whims to the point that I have to limit what I drink because I’m not sure if he’ll be around to help me to the bathroom when I need to piss. That helplessness isn’t helping my temper either.”

“You yelled at him?”

“Nope. At least I don’t feel like I did. Maybe I did. Mostly I just pointed out how it would be nice if he actually hung around with me instead of treating me like my broken legs are contagious. It’s not like I am making him wait on me hand and foot. I even tried cooking dinner for the two of us on my own. I just need his help to get from room to room, to get to the bathroom, and to handle food. All of which I minimize as much as possible. I don’t want to be a burden. I’ve even called Crocker up to see if she could help aid the process. I’ve tried using my own aspect to try to speed it up, but I got nothing but ticking in my head. But apparently I’m being melodramatic when I complain about that so ignore everything I say about how I am painfully aware of every second that I am impaired from independence by these casts on my legs.”

“You are always melodramatic.”

“I know. Those extended metaphors have always been considered that, but he’s never called me out like that. Especially over Sburb stuff.”

“That definitely seems out of character for John. Is everything alright with him?”

“Wouldn’t know. He doesn’t stick around long enough. Though he apparently feels stuck here with my ungrateful ass. And that’s an actual quote from him.”

“How did you respond to that?”

“I didn’t. He walked out. Again.”

“I know I am going to sound cliche to my profession, but how do you feel about that?”

I sigh. My head falls back against the wall where I ended up after I chased my phone. She gives me time to collect my thoughts without further prompting. “I’m not angry about it. Confused and upset. Lonely and in pain. Scared and annoyed. I want him back. I want him. I need John. But he’s been running away from me. And I can’t chase after him. I feel helpless. I feel stuck. I feel lost. I feel like it’s slipping away from me. He’s slipping away from me and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Have you told him as much?”

“Well I haven’t been as obtuse as I normally am, but I’m not an open book especially where Captain Oblivious is involved. I did bring up the fact that he’s been ditching me often. Him walking out on me is becoming an overused motif. And I can’t figure out why. This doesn’t even seem like that doldrums thing that sometimes happen.”

“I don’t mean to pry but have you two been intimate since the crash?”

“Lalonde, are you asking about my sex life?”

“You would be disappointed in this session if I didn’t. But I actually have my reasoning for this.”

“I know you do, we aren’t thirteen year old kids anymore where you pick my brain for nonexistent Freudian paradigms.” I sigh heavily. “Yea, we’ve been doing stuff. He didn’t let anything happen at the hospital, the prude.” It was actually a mutual decision, but that detail is outside of the scope of the question. “And we haven’t been hitting home runs for obvious reasons. But to get to the core of your question, he goes to bed satisfied every night.”

“Every night?”

“Yea. I’m a good little wifey, so Egbert’s not lacking there.” I don’t add that it’s not always reciprocated. She doesn’t need to know that. “That’s not the problem.”

“I retract any doubts I had mentally submitted.”

“Got any other hypotheses I can easily shoot down?”

“You didn’t yell at him. You aren’t even angry at him. You haven't been abusing his willingness to help. He isn’t sexually frustrated.” She pauses to think about it. “What is the weather like where you are?”

“Cloudy last time I looked. It might be raining by now.”

“Would you like me to talk to him?”

“I just want him back.”

* * *

The wall and floor are cold, but blankets are way too far away and my legs hurt too bad to even think about returning back to the couch. I just cross my arms across my chest and tuck my head into the corner. I’m pretty sure my butt collected all of the dust bunnies between here and couch, but I really can’t find any fucks to give. I’m just doing my best not to break down into tears. The cold, the loneliness, and the pain just sorta wraps up all together in an ugly ball of emotion that settles at the bottom of my stomach.

I just want him back. I want my John. I need my John. I love him.

* * *

I wake softly to warmth and quiet murmurings. I don’t open my eyes, but I get the sensation of being lifted and carried. I snuggle into a broad chest but my nose twitches as it picks up an unfamiliar smell. Gently I am laid down on something I vaguely recognize as my bed. Covers settle over me, and the chill from the other room starts fading away under the smooth sheets and fluffy comforter. My eyes flutter open as I feel soft lips press against my forehead but the room is too dark to see anything. A hand brushes over my hair and I lean into it, closing my eyes again as sleep refuses to be dispelled. The presence by my bed eventually leaves and I catch an unexpected shadow briefly in the doorway, but my mind slips over it and dreams embrace me.

* * *

I wake up at 10:39 am. I sigh to myself at the fact that it is before noon, but there are pressing bodily functions that await my attention. Grimacing I sit up and take note that I am still in yesterday’s clothes. There is probably a dust bunny infestation in my bed now. I flip back the covers and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. The roughness of the casts catch lightly against the sheets. The movement also reminds me that I haven’t taken my pain medication since lunch yesterday.

I flip on the lamp by my bed and I look around but I don’t see wheelchair that I attempt to use to get around. It’s the easiest to get into from my bed because I am higher than the seat, but otherwise it’s a bitch to use and our apartment definitely isn’t handicap accessible.

“Hey Egbert! Can I get a lift to the bathroom?” I call out to the other room. I really hope that he’s awake. It was pretty late when he tucked me in last night. Wonder why he didn’t say with me like usual.

I frown when I hear two voices from the other room in response to my request. I quirk an eyebrow up when my door opens. Nitram stands nervously in the doorway. It takes a moment for the data to get through the shock but when it does, my heart collapses down into a black mess.

“Uh, hey, Dave. Uh, good morning.”

“Morning, Nitram. Have you seen my sick ride around? Or could you spare a limb or two so that I can hobble to the bathroom? Gotta make a pitstop before I can start the day.”

“Sick ride? Oh. You mean your four wheeled device. Yea. Let me get that for you.” He ducks out of the room, carefully making sure that his horns don’t catch on the doorframe. I don’t move, I don’t flinch, I barely breathe before he returns with the silver wheel chair. He positions it next to me as if he’s done this before and knows how it works. Oh wait, he did have to do this shit.

I move down with Nitram offering a helping hand. I wave him off when I am settled and carefully I wheel out of the room, grabbing a change of clothing on the way. The smell of breakfast as I head towards the bathroom makes me spare a glimpse at the kitchen. It really isn’t a surprise to see Megido standing at the stove. I continue onwards with Nitram trailing awkwardly behind me. I make a quick turn in front of the bathroom and wheel backwards into the cramped room, closing the door in his face.

Even in the privacy of the bathroom I don’t let myself think about it. I’m not even to going to define what it is because that would be acknowledging it. I simply manage my business, change into fresh clothes, brush my teeth, wash my face, etc. I fall back into the chair when I’m done. I glance in the mirror once more to note the perfection of my poker face right now to the dull red eyes. I’ll need to find my shades. Probably on the coffee table. I wheel out of the bathroom in search and hey look at that, there they are on the table. I slip them on my face and finally turn to greet my guests.

“Sup, Nitram, Megido. Haven’t seen you guys since New Years.”

It’s been interesting watching Nitram mature into an adult troll in these post game years. I didn’t get to meet him face to face during the game, but he was resurrected with the rest of the dead trolls two sweeps older than he last remembered. He got his legs back as a gift from the game, but was still this scrawny, gangly nerd of a kid. Since he’ started doing the Doctor Doolittle thing, he’s filled out nicely. Something about handling musclebeasts. That along with the free use of his legs has given him a muscular physique that really contrasts with his shy stuttering nature. He’s kept the mohawk that really just emphasises his rack, but has added a soul patch on his chin. I think it’s silly but if he likes it, whatever.

Megido is still doing that morbidly cheery death’s fangirl thing going on. She had to ditch the special jammies with the rest of us and has turned to flowy skirts and shirts that you can hardly see under all that hair. She’s still whistling happily by the stove and I can smell something delicious cooking.

“Yea, it’s been a while. We were, uh, in the area so we, uh, decided to stop by.”

“Rose sent you,” I state. No question about it.

“Uh.... yea...” Tavros murmurs, ducking his head at being caught.

“She’s the only one who knows where the spare key is. Just make yourselves at home. There’s food and drink in the fridge and the couch is open for crashing. I’d offer to get up and get you something but that’s a little out of my current ability range. Mi casa es su casa.”

“Uh, thanks. And thanks for not being mad.”

“Nah, bro. I’d be a frozen bundle of broken pain still in the corner if you guys hadn’t shown up. Speaking of pain though, has anyone seen my meds?” Medigo hums loudly and the next thing I know, there is an orange bottle of pills flying my way. I snatch it with a quick “Thanks.”

“Uh, if you don’t mind me asking... why were you in the, uh, corner?” he asks nervously.

“Cause my phone was there,” I deadpan back. “And speaking of my phone, have we seen that recently?” Megido chimes in again and my phone is flying across the room. “Thanks.” I check it but I have no messages. That’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.

TG: team charge

TG: really

TT: Yes.

TT: Details later.

TG: k

I’m really surprised she texted back that fast but whatever.

“Breakfast is ready!” Megido sings out from the kitchen.

“Awesome. Hot grub.” Megido smiles at me while she carries the plates to the table while Nitram cringes at my word choice. Like I give a fuck about cultural sensitivity.


	30. Chapter 30

They are actually in town for legit reasons. A veterinary convention apparently. I checked on my phone, it’s real.

They are in town for a couple days.

Day two starts with another egg sandwich. Megido is really good at cooking.

Nitram, however, still sucks at rapping.

Did show me some sweet tricks to do with a wheelchair when he took me out to the park. I didn’t even realize there was a park this close to the apartment.

They keep threatening to bring home small squeaky things despite my rule of no animals in the apartment. Nitram actually found his shame globes and asked what I could do about it with broken legs.

I’ve never heard an apology dropped that fast.

I- He’s-

I got a new high score on Mad Snacks.

I’ve watched an entire season of Mythbusters.

Legs are doing better. Megido helped get me to my doctor’s check up and apparently they are healing well and fast. Maybe Crocker is sending healing waves my direction. Though waves would be more Peixes’ thing.

I cooked a great dinner. Nitram was a pretty good sous chef too, when he wasn’t helping me stand by the stove. We didn’t even set anything on fire.

I don’t know how many pillows and blankets there are on my bed, but I can’t get warm at night.

I’m starting to hear music notes alongside the ticking in my brain. It’s probably a side effect from hanging out with Megido. Unfortunately it’s not my style.

Found Teenage Mutant Ninja Shellbeasts. It is just as ridiculous as the pre game version.

I should start a religion. The church of Sburb. Repent before a computer game brings about the end of the world. I could get enough suckers to follow that. We- I could use the classes as ranks how the catholic church has bishops, cardinals, and popes. Also could work in the elements too. As individual churches. Then those churches spread and gain individual followings which create clashes between the churches until they schism out. Church of Time would be best. And Rose already has her Church of the Seer worked out. Just need to tweak that into Church of Light and tada, we have our model.

I mis- I should call Vantas and see what he’s up to. Haven’t had a good hate smackdown lately.

Fuck I have good timing. I called while Vantas was getting it on with Harley. She actually answered his phone. I don’t think I’ll ever let him live that down.

It’s sunny outside.

Gog Nitram, stop trying to rap. You can’t. Jegus, it’s bad. No, I’m not going to be your sensei. That’s more Dirk’s thing. Who are you calling? Oh this’ll be good. Put it on speaker. Megido and I won’t say a word.

Holy fuck that was... Well... I learned a couple things. One, I didn’t know trolls could blush that hard. Nitram was basically glowing and Megido was pulling her own rusty weight. Two, Dirk is just as pervy if not more so than Bro. Probably more. And he’s apparently well acquainted with troll anatomy. Three, I am never ever rapping with Dirk ever again. Four, I think we just cured Nitram of that rapping itch.

Day three and I haven’t heard from-

Fuck yes! The hard casts come off and I get soft fluffy ones and I am cleared for crutches. I love crutches.

Vet-con is now over and I got away without introducing any dependent organisms to the apartment. I was tempted by Nitram’s offer of a fish, but he retracted it when I told him I’d name it Sushi. They are heading out tomorrow now that I am mobile.

I hate crutches.

* * *

I don’t get back to my bed. Don’t really want to. And my armpits hurt too badly. And the couch is already made up from the visiting trolls. The apartment is really quiet without them. I really haven’t hung out with those two before, but that was really nice.

But now I am alone again with just my phone.

I scroll over a couple different names in my contact list. My thumb hovers over the call button but never actually presses.

I am annoyed with myself.

I have so many people I could pick from just to chat with to fill the silence to keep my mind off what I really don’t want to be thinking about. I could call up Vantas and rag on how squeaky he sounded with Harley or how he wasn’t doing it right if she was aware enough to answer the phone. I’m not calling Dirk. I’ve learned my lesson there a couple times over now. I wouldn’t mind reconnecting with Pyrope. Haven’t had massive hangouts with the girl since the days of Can Town. But I know that she’s busy with law school. Not that she’s having trouble with it; it just takes a lot of her time and she already took time off to visit me at the hospital. I never really got close with any of the other dead trolls. Roxy might entertain me for a moment but I’d have to translate drunken slurs if my texts or calls could even penetrate the fog of void around her. The retention of her element has made her the best hacker slash espionage agent out there because ninety percent of the time you’ll never know she was even there and the other ten percent you’ll get a glimpse but will never be able to track her as she disappears into the ether. But it also makes her really hard to contact.

I sigh and resign myself.

TG: ive been plenty patient

TG: ive played the humble host

TG: ive been switched to user friendly healing devices

TG: ive exhausted all of my distractions

TG: ive run out of excuses

TG: what the fuck is going on

Thirty minutes later without an answer, I really have to restrain the urge to chuck my phone across the room again, because that didn’t really help the first time.

* * *

I wake up screaming. My throat is raw so I’ve probably been at it for a while. I wipe sweaty bangs off of my forehead as I sit up, still trying to catch my breath. I stare into the darkness of the room. The softly glowing electronics in the entertainment center cast an eerie green glow across the furniture. I panic as I am reminded of the green demon fire that burned me in my dream. I grab my own phone and unlock it, bathing everything in a counter white and red light. But that’s not really helping; what I really need is blu-

My heart is pounding wildly like it’s trying to break out of my chest. I can hear the blood rushing in my ears and I can’t stand the silence. I hum the first thing that comes into my head which makes my throat hurt in response but I’m not listening to the echoes of screams. I scramble to turn on the CD player and turn on one of the mixes that I keep in there. I do my best to drown out the blood and fire and fear in the bass beats flowing from the speakers.

I’m doing okay (liar) until my breath catches at the piano piece I layered into my music. I’m suffocating in the emptiness of the apartment as I listen to the record of his hands floating across the keyboard. An icy burn grips my heart. I shut down the sound system. I barely pay attention as I find a cab company on my phone and dial their number and give them my address. I keep everything at bay with action as I hoist myself up onto the crutches and move about the apartment to fill a nearby gym bag with a couple changes of clothes, my toiletries, a couple bottles of water, my meds, my shades and then head out to the elevator. I push the down button then have to hobble back to the apartment door to lock it.

I make it downstairs and I perch on my crutches until the cab arrives. I awkwardly clamber into the back seat and give the driver an address.

“You look like hell.”

“Thanks.” I pointedly pull my shades out of my bag and put them on, staring out of the window for the entire trip.

Forty four minutes later I am knocking on a wide oak door. A minute and thirty seconds later a familiar but sleepy face opens the door. He’s wrapped up in a thick robe and blinking at me standing there on his stoop like an apparition that he can’t tell is real or not.

“Hey Dad.”

“Dave?” He rubs some of the sleep out of his eyes. “Son, it’s-”

“Fourty thirty one in the morning, I know,” I reply with a sheepish shrug. He opens the door wider so that I can limp inside. “Anyone else here?”

“No.” He shuts and locks the door again. “Why are you here?”

“Don’t laugh at me, but I didn’t want to be alone with the monsters in the shadows.”

Dad frowns at me, trying to piece together everything I am not saying. He’s not as oblivious as-

“Still having nightmares?” I nod. “Well, you are always welcomed here, Dave. Your bed is made if you’d like to go there.” He reaches for my gym bag. “Unless you think you’ll have another nightmare tonight.”

“Nah, they usually come in single serving sizes. A bed sounds nice. Though do you happen to have anything on the first floor? Insert stereotypical ironic warning about the stairs.”

“Oh forgive me! I wasn’t thinking,” Dad flustered. “I’ve actually just laundered Karkat’s sheets if that’ll work.”

“Suits me just fine.” Dad helps me maneuver around the dark house on my crutches, opening doors and stuff for me. We get to the specified bed and Dad carefully places my bag at the end. He takes my crutches from me and leans them up against the wall by the headboard. Then he hugs me.

I’m still not one hundred percent used to fatherly hugs or other similar gestures as Bro was never that openly affectionate. I mean he was, but in his own way. I know he feels how I shudder and break in his arms because he tightens his grip on me.

“He left and I don’t know where he is and no one will tell me what’s going on and I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be alone with my nightmare. I want him back. I love him. I love John.”

* * *

EB: where are you?

EB: you aren’t at the apartment :(


	31. Chapter 31

I apparently slept through the messages but that doesn’t stop me from violently reacting when I do wake up to them.

“That’s not allowed. He’s not fucking allowed to do that.”

“Where are you, Dave?”

“No. You aren’t allowed to know either. Not until I get a fucking explanation and it better be a damn good one,” I growl at my sister.

“I’m not sure if it will be up to your standards, but it’s the truth as I know it.” She takes a deep breath. “John apparently got upset as a combination of perceived grievances against him and his temperament affected by the weather. He blew things out of proportion and went to ‘stew’ about them outside of the apartment. When he calmed down, he realized his mistakes and reflected upon his actions. He felt that he had wronged you, then wrongly assumed that you would be upset at him, so he hid from a non existent rejection. He bolted off grid so far that I had to recruit Roxy’s services in order to find him. And that still took time. Surprisingly, movie cliches function fairly well in the real world. It appears he fell into a fugue state, thankfully not a very serious one. I was able to convince him that you were not angry with him and that he should return.”

“I’m not angry with him?” I repeat in disbelief. “I wasn’t angry at him. Now I am fucking pissed as hell at being abandoned like that. After all I have fucking done for him, after that fucking game, after all this shit after the fucking game, after fucking saving his fucking life again, for him just to walk out like that for fucking days... no, I am fucking furious at him. I’m always there. I am always going to be fucking there. But if he’s not going to be there when I fucking need him, then he can fuck off like the flighty fucking wind that he fucking emulates.”

“You had a nightmare.”

“I had a nightmare about the game and then woke up to another one. One where I was alone. Oh wait, that wasn’t a fucking dream.”

“I’ve given you an explanation, will you give him a chance?”

“You told me what happened. We still haven’t touched the why.”

“Ah yes. That is quite tricky.” I wait for her to start again, but she tests my patience as she collects her thoughts. “I am going to explain it from my perspective as I’ve analyzed it. He is still scared about the events that occurred at the accident. That fear has manifested itself as both a fear of losing you and a fear of being hurt. As those two are obviously related, he tried to protect himself by physically distancing himself from you in a bid to callus himself against losing you.”

“I’ll always be here.”

“Until you’re not.” There was a soft sigh on the other end of the line. “You aren’t invincible, Dave. I thought being hit by a car would have proved that to you.”

“The car didn’t kill me.”

“So did you learn nothing for that then?”

“I learned plenty. I learned that I had the capability to save him even without godlike powers and that I will always protect him without hesitation. I love the fucker too much,” I growl out. Yes, I still love him, but I am angry. I am allowed to be angry. “Anyway... Distancing himself? Is he trying to- Does he want out of our relationship?” I ask, now panicky.

“No,” she quickly reassured. “Quite the opposite. When you called him out on his behavior, he reacted poorly as a combination of his mindset, goal of distancing himself, and the weather. The weather does not excuse this behavior, but we cannot ignore it’s influences on him that exacerbated the situation. From there he believed that his actions would be construed as wanting to get out of the relationship as you also feared. He then feared your reaction to his actions and instead of facing you and coming to terms with possible rejection-”

“Never gonna happen.”

“He ran,” she finishes.

“I’m dating a moron.”

“I happen to agree with you in this case and have told him that myself. Now, where are you? John has informed me that you are neither at the apartment nor at Dad’s. I believe he is running mad across campus now.”

“How does he know I’m not at Dad’s?”

“He checked your room and talked with Dad I suppose. He was there about an hour ago.”

“Huh.” Interesting tactic for the old man to take.

“You are at Home Base, aren’t you?” I hang up the phone.

I pull my medication and a bottle of water from my bag and dose myself before attempting to move farther than the bed. Grabbing my crutches I hobble towards the kitchen, taking a pitstop at the bathroom along the way. The smell of sausage, eggs, and toast guide me along.

“You are a miracle man, Pops. And I am not talking about those freaky ones that Makara goes on and on about.”

“I thought you might like breakfast. I heard you on the phone so I went ahead and started. I hope that’s alright with you.” He glances at me over his shoulder.

“You won’t hear any complaining from me about good homecooked food. Haven’t had much recently since I’ve been too standing-impaired to work the stove at home. Anything I can do to help?”

“No, no,” he waves me off with a spatula in his hand. “Please just take a seat and get off your feet.”

“Thanks, Pops.” I maneuver myself over to the island counter and carefully hop up onto a stool. “And thanks,” I say softly.

“You are most welcome. The situation was not one that you would have wanted to wake up to,” he explains simply.

“You lied to your son to get me an extra hour of beauty sleep?”

“I did not lie to John. I just was not helpful with my answers. He asked if I had see you last night and I replied with a no because I had only seen you this morning. He asked if you were in your room and of course you weren’t. I will reprimand him later for going up and checking instead of trusting my word on such matters,” Dad explains with a sly grin.

“Holy shit, Dad. I can see your prankster’s gambit going up from here.” He grabs a plate and loads it up with buttered toast and eggs. He’s mixed the sausage in during the scramble. “By the way, how many times did you drop him on his head as a kid? Like from age zero to thirteen.”

“What?” He pauses halfway between the stove and where I am sitting.

“No judgement here. And he’s a little old for me to be calling CPS on you.”

“Well, he might have fallen off my lap once or twice, but never from any great distance.”

“Damn. I was hoping that would explain some stuff. I’m pretty sure Bro dropped me at least once a day until I could catch myself, and then he proceeded to knock me on my ass everyday in strifes to make up for it.”

Dad shakes his head at the story, but he knows enough about Bro’s parenting habits not to question nor doubt stories like that. “Were you talking with John on the phone?”

“No. My sister. He’s at the campus now. But I bet he shows up within the next thirty minutes.”

“But it’s a fifty minute drive without traffic.” Dad corrects with a concerned expression.

“Don’t get between an Egbert and his snuggles.”

* * *

Twenty eight minutes later there are several heavy knocks at the door. Dad glances at the oven clock, impressed with my estimating skills.

“Are you ready for this?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

* * *

He stands there in the doorway for a moment. His eyes met mine for a second before dropping down to look at his shoes. It’s annoying to see him looking this pathetic but I will not be the first one to speak. And the first things out of his mouth better be part of an apology. “I’m an asshole.” Close enough.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m an asshole and an idiot.”

“I love you.” He looks up at me again.

“Still?”

“Always.” I shake my head at him and gesture at the other stool at the counter. “You don’t get it, you thick skulled air head. I’ve loved you since I turned thirteen. Probably even before that, but I didn’t know what love was. That’s not going to go away for a long time. Like never. It’s never going to go away. You’re stuck with me."

“I think I am okay with that.” He perches similarly as me on the stool.

“You better be. I’m going to be stuck on you like white on rice, like flies on honey, like gum on your shoe, like syrup in your hair, like a tongue on a frozen lamp post, like shit on a stick, like a fat kid on chocolate cake, like ugly on a bulldog, like a wart on a frog, like a bump on a log, like-”

“Bluh! Please no more. You are starting to rhyme.”

“What you don’t want to hear my sick fires? What kind of boyfriend are you?”

“A terrible one.”

“Who’s been telling you lies like that?”

“Well, you and Rose.”

“Liars. The both of them.”

“I’m sorry.” He looks down at his feet again. Does he have a foot fetish or something? Are they really that much more interesting than me? Stupid boy.

“You are going to be my personal slave for the next week.”

He gives me a small smile then standing sharply, snaps to attention. “Yes, sir.” Complete with a salute.

“Go get me apple juice.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” He turns away from me.

“Wait.” He looks over his shoulder and I beckon him with a curl of my finger. He comes back over to me until he is close enough for me to grab him by the collar of his shirt. I drag him to my lips and kiss him hungrily. “Don’t you” kiss “ever” kiss “fucking” kiss “leave me” kiss “again.” Kiss. “Because you won’t be so lucky. I won’t have two broken legs. I’ll chase you down to the ends of the earth.” I finish with a half growl, half sob. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. I breathe in his scent and fight back the tears.

* * *

Several more weeks later and the casts come all the way off. I cannot fully express my feelings at this turn of events, even if my legs are all scrawny and pale as hell. And I’ll still have to go to physical therapy for at least a month to get them remotely back to where they were, but I can fucking walk. I was able to walk from the doctor’s office to the car all on my fucking own. I was going to go up the stairs instead of riding the fucking death trap of an elevator again, but I made it up the first three floors of the stairs before giving up and making Egbert give me a piggyback ride up the rest. But hey, that’s what personal servants are for.

He’s been really good about that too. He was really clingy for the first couple days, but then after I threatened him with bodily harm when he asked if I needed anything for the fiftieth time that day, he backed off just enough to be comfortable. He’d bring me food and drinks from the kitchen (he didn’t actually cook anything but he can heat up frozen shit up just fine). He watched TV show marathons with me without complaint. He didn’t disappear on me again. I bet he broke Guinness world records with how fast he ran errands.

And my bed was finally warm enough for a decent night’s sleep again. He made fun of my nest of pillows and blankets, then thought about it for a moment. Then he was on his knees apologizing to me again. He snuggled the shit out of me that night. And every night afterwards.


	32. Chapter 32

“Hey Dave?”

I look up from my laptop to the other end of the couch. He hadn’t stopped massaging my feet in his lap. “Sup, babe?”

“Do you think we could... you know... tonight?”

I resist quirking an eyebrow up at his request. I know exactly what he is referring to, even though he won’t actually say it out loud. Yet.

“We could what?”

“Uh, you know!” Him being flustered is really kinda adorable.

“I’m not a mind reader. That’s more Pyrope’s thing. Gotta be real careful about all those naughty thoughts when you are around her. You’ll never know what saucy secret she’ll pick up from your brain or even what would be admissible in court.”

“Are you really going to do this? You know exactly what I am talking about. All I want is a yes or no answer!”

“What do you want for dinner?”

His jaw drops an impressive amount. “What?”

“We don’t have anything decent in the kitchen right now so I was asking you what you wanted for dinner so that I can make like Speedy Gonzales to the grocery store to pick us up some grub. Though I promise not to buy anything that actually says grub on it because I don’t know if they are kidding or not. I know in old Alternia when they said grub sauce there were literally crushed grubs in that. But in this new world I am only about eighty seven percent sure that using grubs in food is illegal unless you go down to those little shops in the bad part of town. I’m pretty sure their grub stuff isn’t made for little troll kids. It’s made of little troll kids and that is just sick. And not in the good sick fires kind of way. I’m talking stomach churning, bowels turning, throat burning kind of sick. And that would be completely unsexy even for a coolkid Strider like me.”

I really shouldn’t get this much amusement from watching the horror creep over his face. I close the laptop and place it on the coffee table, twisting my torso to reach it without removing my feet from Egbert’s lap. Score.

“Anyways, I was thinking something easy that I could just throw together like fajitas or something. I’m feeling Mexi-American. Though those terms have no meaning today. We have all these relics in our head that don’t make sense in the world we’ve created because we had to share the creation with the trolls. Not that I mind, but it would be easier if we could keep all the shit that we learned from ages zero to thirteen the same. Miss Montgomery always berated me about learning geography because it would be so important to know all the capitals of the states someday. But it’s sorta a moot point if we reset the universe.” How long is he going to let me ramble? I hope I didn’t actually break his brain or something. “I wonder if all the little grubs and kiddies are schoolfeed the capitals of, what are we living in? Territories? Or are they still states? No wait, they are provinces, aren’t they? Whatever. It doesn’t matter. All it does is serve as an example that proves Miss Montgomery wrong for putting me in the corner because I didn’t want to play the flash card game. Talk ab-” I am abruptly forced to shut up as two lips crash against mine.

His hands bury themselves in my hair, grabbing harshly to hold my head close to his, as if I’d want to be anywhere else. I slip him a little tongue that makes him moan until he remembers that he’s supposed to be frustrated at me. He breaks off the kiss and hovers just far enough away from my face to look me in the eye.

“I want to fuck you. Are you up for that tonight or what?” It’s exactly that type of stuff said in that type of voice that gets me hard in an instant.

“Are you going to tell me what you want for dinner or what?” I counter. I love getting him riled up.

“You. I want you for dinner.”

“A little cannibalistic, don’t you think? And you are asking the chef to cook himself. How disturbed do you have to be to think that’s okay?”

He pulls away from me, throwing my feet to the floor. “I hate you.”

“Wait. When did we quadrant flip? I’m sorry to inform you but I already have a kismesis. Hating you and Vantas at the same time would just be awkward. So nope, I reject your black advances.”

“Quesadillas.”

“Cool. I’ll be back shortly.” I hop up off the couch, grab my wallet, shades, and keys off the hall table, slip on some sandals, and head out the door. Okay, I am surprised that he didn’t stop me between here and there. He must have a plan. Well, at least I have thirteen floors of stairs to walk off this boner.

* * *

When I get back to the apartment with my arms full of groceries, I have to pause at the front door. Our living room has been transformed into the Land of Blankets and Pillows. There is also possibly a mattress somewhere beneath all of that. And a very naked Egbert on top of all that, fiddling with his laptop. At the sound of the door closing, he looks up.

“Shit.” And he goes back to whatever he was doing on the computer. Well, that’s one hell of an interesting greeting. He probably isn’t done setting up.

“I’m sorry? I’ll go back and wait outside another fifteen minutes if that’ll make you happy.”

“No, no, you are already here.” We both wince at the accidental reference. “Just go make dinner. Keep it finger friendly.”

“Alright, Mr. Naked Boyfriend.” I pass him and head into the kitchen which thankfully has remained free of the fluff explosion. I keep the groceries that I plan to cook with out on the counter and put the rest away.

Quickly I whip up some dinner. Cheesy quesadillas with shredded chicken or steak or roasted bell pepper. A little bowl of salsa and another bowl of sour cream. As I slice the round tortillas into ‘finger friendly’ wedges, I catch bursts of sound coming from the speakers in the other room. None of them are long enough for me to tell which songs they are, but they are definitely music. I arrange the food on a tray and crack open two beachy beers.  I strip down to my card suit boxers.

“Are you ready yet?”

“Yea, sure,” comes the distracted reply. Shrugging to myself, I lift the tray and bring it over to him. The coffee table and couch had mysteriously disappeared, so I have to kneel down into the fluff and set the tray down on the widest and flattest pillow I can find. I am honestly impressed that we own this many pillows and blankets. He turns his head to look at me when I rest mine on his shoulder.

“Dinner is served,” I pronounce in the cheesiest French accent I can manage. he simultaneously laughs at me and pushes me away. He clicks something on his computer and then sets it at the farthest edge of the blanket. Soft romantic piano filters through the speakers. When he turns back he looks at me appreciatively until he sees my boxers.

“You are overdressed.”

“Maybe you could help me with that.”

“Maybe I can.” A mischievous grin is all the warning I get before he tackles me back onto the mattress. There is a brief tussle before I am without my briefs. He is kissing me hard as he flings the unwanted garment away. Chilled skin presses against warm as he steals my body heat. Hands slides and glide across muscle, torso, and limb. His weight presses me into the mattress. I arch up against him, pushing my chest against his. Suddenly we moan loudly into the other’s mouth as our hips align. He thrusts against me again, our cocks sliding against each other. We work ourselves into a frenzy before John suddenly rolls off of me. I catch myself lurching for him and his touch.

I watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallows in order to calm his heavy breathing. Finally under control, he looks back at me with an actual concerned look, “Dinner’s gonna get cold.”

I really can’t help it when I just burst out laughing at him. There is no one like him. No one but John Egbert can possibly go from sexy makeouts, sexy naked near-sex makeouts mind you, to adorkable concern about dinner getting cold while a romantic piano and wait... and a fucking saxophone plays in the background. Thankfully underneath my outburst of mirth I also hear John’s laughter. Oh it’s a gorgeous sound. I might be a little biased though.

Eventually I have to stop laughing in order to breathe so I just lie back and smile up at my wonderful boyfriend. He reaches over, fingers trailing across my chest so teasingly, and grabs a slice of quesadilla. He dips it into the sour cream and then feeds it to me. Can he get any cheesier? Apparently yes. And in a very literal way too. As he pulls away the rest of the slice from what I’ve bitten off, some cheese is strung out. He eats the end he is holding and fucking pulls a Lady and the Tramp. He is giggling as he finishes it with a kiss. When he is done being silly, I reach for a slice, dipping it into the salsa. I hiss as a chunk of tomato or onion falls off and lands on my chest, but I do get the rest to Egbert’s lips. There is no cheese string after he bites into it. I can see the disappointment on his face. But when he notices the salsa on my chest, it’s like fucking Christmas to him. He swoops down and licks it off. It really shouldn’t be that arousing, but it is. He snickers as my body responds appropriately. Then it’s as if I can see a light bulb go off over his head, which historically hasn’t ended well for me. Before I can act, he scoops out some sour cream with his fingers and drops it on my chest.

“Jegus fucking shit, Egbert. That’s fucking cold. Give a guy some fucking warning before you fucking do that. Shit.” He doesn’t say anything as I squirm under him. He just takes another piece and dips it through the sour cream that’s on me. Then eats it. Hot.

We end up eating dinner in the most convoluted manner with examples like the one shown above. After all of the quesadilla pieces are eaten, Egbert takes to licking my chest clean as I prop myself up on an elbow and nurse my beer.

“I’m pretty sure that we are doing this wrong. I think it’s normally supposed to be whipped cream, not sour cream.”

“And when have we done anything normally?” he asks in return, looking up at me with those brilliant blue eyes.

“You are right. Normal teenagers don’t get to be gods that recreate universes. Carry on.” And he does. His body rests against mine as his tongue works its way across my chest to the point that there couldn’t possibly be any more morsels of food left. My suspicions are confirmed as his mouth fixates on one of my nipples. He starts lapping at it like it’s a piece of hard candy. Nipple play usually doesn’t do much for me, but the dedication that he is putting towards this is commendable. I finish off the beer and stretch out an arm to set the empty bottle aside. He takes advantage of my distraction to blow cool air over the saliva saturated skin, making me hiss at him and then gasp as his hot mouth returns to the puckered skin.

I card my fingers through his dark curly hair. He slides one of his legs in between mine, leveraging them apart. He brings his thigh up until it’s brushing close. One of his hands grip my hips, holding me against the mattress when all I really want to do is grind all up on him. Instead I let my hands wander through his hair and down to his broad shoulders. They are thick and rounded with built muscle where mine have stayed narrow and bony. I smooth my thumbs over those muscles, enjoying the firmness under the smooth skin. I can feel the muscles slide against each other when he shifts over to my other nipple, covering more of my body with his warmth. I let his weight push me down, freeing up my elbows to extend my arms farther down the back of his torso. My fingertips knead the muscles in his lower back. I feel more than hear him hum in response.

He continues to work me with his hot mouth and tongue until I finally decide that now dinner is over he is not moving fast enough. I grab his shoulders and use the leverage against the floor to roll him over. I follow him down where I end up straddling his hips, his hardness trapped directly underneath me. I roll my hips against him, capturing his moan with my lips as I lean over him. With a trail of small kisses I shift from his mouth to his ear, taking the lobe between my teeth briefly before whispering, "Now where have you hidden the lube in this mess of pillows?"

One arm reaches out and pats around blindly for a moment before finding its treasure. He pulls it back and tries to hand it to me.

"No, I want you to open me. You are the one who wanted this, remember?" I murmur into his neck. I feel him nod. Behind my back he uncaps the lube and squirts a little onto his hand. There is a pause between recapping it and him reaching down to touch me. His clean hand grasps one side of my ass as the other dips into the crack to press against my entrance. He turns his head to kiss my cheek as he pushes the first finger in. He works it back and forth to spread the lube inside and then adds a second. I can't help but moan at the stretch. Almost impatiently he works the two fingers in my ass, scissoring and stretching me to make room for a third.

"More please," I hiss and he instantly complies, slipping his index finger in. I start moving my hips in time with his fingers, gripping the blanket on either side of his head as the stretch shifts from uncomfortable to pleasurable. He seems to pick up the change as well because the hand not in my ass reaches for the lube again. He opens it, pours some on his cock, and closes it without stopping the fingering.

I don't wait for the usual question but sit up and grab his cock myself, stroking it twice as he pulls his fingers out of me, and then I sink down on it. There is the usual momentary resistance and then he slips inside. Everything is so slick that I drop about halfway before catching myself. The sudden intrusion is kinda uncomfortable but the deep unabashed moan that comes from John's throat is worth it. Taking a breath to relax I take him the rest of the way until our hips are seated together. It always amazes me how full he makes me feel and in this position it seems even deeper.

"I'm gonna fuck you til you scream."

"Uh, Dave? I think that's my line. I mean I am inside you."

"Nuh uh. I'm on top which means I'm topping which means I'm fucking you."

"Hah. That's bag logi-" He's cut off by his own moan as I roll my hips, causing him to shift inside me.

"Just shut up and enjoy the ride." I roll my hips for emphasis before swooping down and kissing him.


	33. Chapter 33

I start off nice and slow with the rolling of my hips to get him used to the sensation. As the heat builds up at my core, I slowly increase my pace, lifting and lowering myself for additional movement. He sighs, whimpers, moans at the different strokes and it just encourages me. My body falls into a natural rhythm that I exploit to draw more of those sounds out of him.

His hands rest on my hips to help me move along. The pads of his fingers press into the skin and muscle, flexing with that rhythm. Sometimes I lean over to kiss him on the lips, or to nibble at his ear, or to suckle and mark him on his neck. Sometimes I arch back and let my hands run down his chest, let my head fall back in bliss, let my hips really move against him.

“Dave, oh Dave. Fuck you feel so good. Fuck yes!” The words of praise keep pouring out of his mouth, mixing my name in like he needs to say it to breathe. I’m probably saying similar things but I really can’t be held accountable when all of my focus is on how he fills me up and how he moves inside me. Underneath our combined moans there is the soft wet slick sound of sex which should be disgusting but is actually a little hot because we are in the middle of it.

The next time I lean over, I close my eyes, tuck my head into the crook of his need, and take in his scent. It’s a little tangy from the sweat we’ve built up from the activity but it still has all of the Johnness that I relate home, safe, love with. I breathe him in, selfishly wanting as much of him as I can get.

When I pull away and sit up again my breath catches in my throat. Those blue blue blue eyes watch me closely, dark with lust and deep with love. I take in his expression of pleasure with just slightly furrowed brows, indication that he is concentrating as much as I am on all of the different sensations that are passing between us.

My rhythm gets a little off as the heat builds up inside me but John’s hands on my hips keep it steady. I increase the speed just a little bit and John’s voice knocks up a step, becoming louder and looser.

“John. My John. Mine.”

That does it for him. His body arches up as if all of his muscles were pulled taut. He screams out my name as pleasure courses through his body. I can feel him twitching inside me as he cums. His hands have become death grips around my waist, holding me down against him as he explodes inside me. My own hands almost frantically reach for myself and with two pumps I am orgasming as well across John’s abs and chest.

It takes us a while to calm ourselves down from our respective peaks. I can tell when John dissolves into his postcoital jelly state when his fingers finally release my hips. I am pretty sure I’ll have nice bruises there later. Too bad they won’t be more visible. I eventually slump over, tucking my forehead against that spot just between his chest and shoulder. The piano and saxophone music comes into focus again over our heavy panting.

We stay like that for a while, connected at the hips but otherwise barely touching each other. When my muscles can finally support my weight I push up with my arms on either side of his head to hover over him. He smiles up at me, his blue eyes soft and happy. I’m pretty sure the grin on my face is an exact reflection.

“You know, I love seeing you smile. After freaking years of that dumb poker face, it’s a good change.”

“Well, only people I love get to see me smile. Only people I love make me smile like this. Only you make me smile like this, John.”

“That’s good news. I don’t ever want anyone else seeing this post sex smile. It’s mine. All mine. Only mine.” His hand comes up to my face, his arm moving like it’s heavy and unwieldy. He lays his palm against my cheek. His thumb brushes lightly against the skin as I lean into it.

“Yours,” I say softly back to him. “Never been a question about it.”

He pulls me down for a kiss, mouths hot against each other as his lips brush against mine and our tongues dance and explore. When we eventually break for breath, I take the opportunity to slide off of him to the side. I whimper softly as the emptiness and he whines at the over stimulation. I grab the hand towel that I brought over with dinner and clean him up. I’m just about a lost cause until I get a shower but I am pretty sure my legs won’t work for a long while. After I toss the towel away I lay on my back next to him, noting that he hasn’t moved yet. I glance over at him but his eyes are closed. I know he’s not asleep from the way his breathing still hasn’t returned to normal and by the way his racing heart subtly pulses on his neck. I reach down between us and grab his hand, entwining our fingers together. I get a squeeze for my efforts but otherwise we just let our bodies recover as we lay in a sea of fluffy blankets and pillows.

* * *

After I finally shower, John maintains the no clothes rule and we end up watching internet videos on his laptop wrapped up on one of the many blankets until we finally pass out in each others arms.

* * *

Summer comes to an unhappy end as Egbert coerces me into the idea that we should take more classes. Of course he did extremely well in all of his classes last semester so he takes a similar load this fall. I swear he must hate me.

* * *

“Ugh.”

I raise an eyebrow in Egbert’s direction. But I get nothing but a heavy sigh as he continues to look through something on his laptop.

“Something the matter, love?”

“Stupid people.”

“Well, they are always a problem. What angst is their small mental capacity afflicting against you now?”

“My organic chemistry class.”

I wait a beat for more explanation, but nothing is forthcoming. “What about your organic chemistry class?”

“The pretest results.”

Again I wait. And again there’s nothing more. “Pretest?” I prompt.

“Stupid professor wanted to see how much we knew in the class before teaching us which is dumb because how can we know anything about the subject if you haven’t been taught it. That’s why we are taking the class you dumb shit.” I’ll assume that he is directing the insults to his professor, not me.

“Did you do terribly or something? Pretests aren’t usually held against your grade you know.”

“I did really well actually. Second in the class. That top spot might actually just be the professor.”

“Wow.” I am always impressed with how smart Egbert can be sometimes because it contrasts so much with all the dumb obliviousness he maintains in the rest of his life. “So why the frowny face and petulant sighs?”

“Because only half of the class did well. The other half did gog awful. And there is such a gap too. It’s like they didn’t even try!”

“They probably didn’t.”

“Gah!”

“Still not getting why you are getting upset over this. Theoretically this helps you stay at the very tippy top of the curve. You get to look down all haughty like at the rest of the imbeciles that should be asking if you want fries with that instead of sitting in the same classroom as you and your startling intelligence.”

“Yea. Until I have to work with them. The professor is making us team up as study partners.”

“So call dibs on the number three spot.”

“It has to be between the top half and bottom half.”

“Shit. That is groan worthy. I feel for you man. So how are they pairing you guys up?”

“Random number generator. He’s already posted the names. I’m stuck with a Prynne Mermes. Probably a troll with that six by six name. He got twenty four points out of one hundred.”

“Well, maybe he won’t be that bad. Maybe he just answered C for every answer just to spite the professor and his stupid pretest.”

“Yea, hopefully.”

* * *

“Met with Prynne today,” Egbert greets as he comes home from classes. He kicks off his shoes and drops his bag in its usual spot then comes over to the couch where I am relaxing. I glance up at him and give him a kissy face. Laughing he leans over the back and kisses me.

“So how annoying will he be?” I ask when he finally pulls away.

“She doesn’t seem that bad. Quite pleasant actually. She had to guess a lot on the pretest because she didn’t know the stuff yet, but that’s why we are taking the class. She seems pretty enthusiastic about studying so there may be hope for her yet. You’ll get to meet her tonight. She’s coming over around eight.”

“Here?”

“Yea. She lives on this side of campus too and since the library is on the far side, I offered up our place. She lives with like five other girls so it’s too noisy at her place.”

“Well, I guess that’s alright. Some head’s up would have been nice.”

“This is the head’s up.”

“At least Dirk hasn’t been over in a while. Bringing a girl home to a bursting pile of smuppets isn’t exactly a great first impression. I swear those suckers spawn and breed when we aren’t looking at them. There is no other explanation for how they multiply.”

“Bluh, no it’s not. But it’s not like I’m trying to impress her. She’s just my study partner.”

He fills me in on the rest of his day while I cook dinner for the two of us. He shuffles around the apartment, gathering up the light layer of detritus that comes from living in a space. We eat dinner on the couch to relax. I note that we are sitting just like we were the night he first kissed me. I keep this to myself however because I might be a romantic but that’s just too much. When we are done, I offer to do the dishes as he gets out his study material. It’s amazing how much crap they already have to cover and it’s just the second week of classes. Just as my internal clock chimes for the eighth hour, there is a prompt knock at the door.

“Well at least she’s punctual,” I comment offhandedly as Egbert jumps up and heads to the door.

“Hiya, Prynne!” he greets.

“Hello, John,” she greets back as she steps inside. “How do you stand that elevator? I thought I wasn’t going to make it.” From my position at the sink I have a pretty clear look at her as she comes in, turning as she passes Egbert to always face him. She’s pretty I guess from an objective standpoint. Shoulder length black hair that can’t decide to turn under or flip out along her jawline and across the top of her back. Two spear tipped horns curved upward above the slightly frizzy hair like a weird cross between Serket’s and Zahhak’s sets. Short bangs cut straight across her forehead. Her round soft face decked out with almost startling cerulean blue eyes that with the yellow of her sclera stand out against her grey skin and lipstick in a matching shade. It’s almost gaudy how she is wearing her blood color like that, but at least her outfit isn’t that obnoxious. Her shirt is almost as muted as her skin but in a much darker only slightly blue gray. Loosely fitting fabric pulls away from her slightly through the twirl. Her jeans are a light gray stonewash that are pulled kinda tight across her round ass. Not that I am looking at her ass. I was just checking her out. Shit. That’s not any better. I’m just being a good narrator. Continuing on from this mental travesty... She has on well-worn sneakers and is swinging around a purse that looks like it could knock out Equius with a solid connection.

“Oh, we usually take the stairs. That thing is a death trap,” Egbert explains as he closes the door.

“We?” she tilts her head like an inquisitive puppy.

“Yea, Dave and I.” He gestures in my direction. She spins around in my direction, shirt swirling out again, with an expression of surprise that she quickly schools into something more pleasant.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a roommate.”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Egbert announces as he walks towards me. “Dave, this is Prynne Mermes, my study partner. Prynne, this is Dave Strider, cool kid extraordinaire.”

“Nice to meet you, Mermes. I’d shake your hands but I don’t think you want suds everywhere,” I lift my dripping hands out of the soapy water.

“That’s quite alright. I think I’ll survive.” She tilts her head when she smiles at me, fangs visible against her lower lip. I am almost expecting to hear marbles rattle around when she keeps tilting her head like that based on what Egbert said about her scores. But I’ll behave and be an excellent host.

“Once I am done here, can I get you anything to drink? Egbert forgets his manners sometimes.”

“I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

“I know. I’m just preempting your rude behavior. Anything?” I throw an expectant look at the new troll, ignoring Egbert’s pout.

“Some soda would be nice.”

“One soda coming right up. I’ll finish up here, get that drink for you, and then get out of your hair so that you guys can do your study thing.” I rinse off the pan I had been scrubbing and set it on the rack to dry. The two of them get settled around the table as I dry my hands and set about to making the drinks. I listen to them chatting about the antics of the professor before moving into the serious studies. I drop the glasses onto the table in front of them and drop a kiss onto the top of Egbert’s head. I register the flattening of her cheery expression out of the corner of my eye as she watches the display of affection. Interesting. “Let me know if you guys need anything else. I’ll be working on some sick beats in my room.”

“Okay, I’ll be there later, Dave.”

“It was pleasant to meet you.”

“Likewise, Mermes.”


	34. Chapter 34

It’s fairly late at night when I finally hear the front door open and close. I turn off my music equipment and put the records back in their sleeves. As I slip the last one back into its spot, Egbert comes into my room rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Did the studying go well?”

“As well as expected. She’s quite pleasant to work with though, even if she doesn’t get things quickly. My brain is tired.” He stumbles into the room in the direction of my bed, putting his glasses on the night stand.

I come around from my tables and grab his waist from behind, pulling him flush against me. I rest my chin on his shoulder. “Then let’s put that brain to sleep before it overheats and catches fire.” He lets me sway with him to some left over music in my head as he leans back against me slightly.

“Sounds nice.” It sounds like he is already asleep at this point. I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up, working with him to get it over his head and off his arms. It always amazes me how much heat his wide muscular back can give off. I relish in it as I reach around and undo his pant from behind him, pushing our hips apart only enough to push the fabric down. I leave his boxers on as he looks too tired to do anything properly tonight except faceplant onto the bed. As I push him in that direction, he promptly does that, not even making it fully onto the mattress. I quickly divest myself of my clothes and slip on a pair of thin cotton sleep pants. I wrestle his overhanging legs onto the bed and then crawl in after him, pulling the covers up over our shoulders. He shifts around until he has trapped me on my back with him curled up along my side using my shoulder as his pillow. I tilt my head and place another kiss on his crown, breathing in his scent.

“I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too, John.”

* * *

The next morning I have to practically shove him out of bed and into the shower so that he’s not late for class. Organic chemistry must really be bad for the brain if it has the capability to knock Egbert’s morning personality down a couple notches. Hell, by the time I make sure he gets out the door, I might have been more awake then him.

* * *

There’s a new movie out in the theaters that I take him to over the weekend. I have to go back to scheduling dates around his classes instead of the freeform style I had become accustomed to over the summer. School sucks.

* * *

It’s a week after her first visit that Prynne returns. After pleasantries are exchanged I retire to my room so that organic chemistry can’t affect my brain as well. I boot up my computer and check out who is online. Including myself, eight of the twenty (twenty two if you include Dad and AR) are online. It’s interesting to see both twinArmageddons and tipsyGnostalgic online as usually trying to contact them involves incredible feats of technical loopholes. Unless you are Lalonde. She can reach the other Lalonde no matter what. I don’t question those dark magicks. The beta Lalonde isn’t online, but the lovely vampiric grimAuxiliatrix is. The number one moirails are online but while arsenicCatnip is fine to talk to, I stay the fuck away from centaursTesticle. I mean. That name alone. Jegus. Why hasn’t he changed it? That leaves caligulasAquarium and gallowsCalibrator. Well, I don’t particularly want to hear any whining so,

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]--

TG: sup babe

TG: how go the legal studies

TG: found some excuse to arrest me yet

TG: cause i know you are itching to pull out those cuffs every time you think about me

TG: sorry but i checked the books and there arent any laws against being the coolest being in the universe or wearing this much delicious cherry red

GC: Y3T

TG: thats not disturbing or terrifying at all

TG: but if and only if that law passes whatever government body that is in charge then i will become a fugitive on the run and youll have to put a bounty out for my fair blonde head

GC: 4 CR1M1N4L 4ND 4 FUG1T1VE

GC: YOU R34LLY KNOW HOW TO SHOW A G1RL A GOOD T1M3!!!

TG: shit pyrope that was not a proposition

GC: COULD H4V3 FOOL3D M3 >:]

TG: dont you have your own criminal to play with

TG: a certain blue blood with a nasty spider streak

GC: SH3S R3FORM3D

TG: you just cant catch her doing anything wrong

GC: NOT 3V3N 4 SN1FF!!!! >:[

GC: 1 KNOW SH3S DO1NG SOM3TH1NG BUT SH3S TOO LUCKY

GC: BUT V3RY H3LPFUL W1TH 1NV3ST1G4T1ONS

TG: investigations

TG: i thought you were going for your law degree which stays on the order side of the law & order actually just to be confusing

TG: please dont tell me that youve gone vigilante on gotham

GC: OK4Y 1 WONT T3LL YOU

TG: shit pyrope

TG: you realize that thats illegal as the criminals that you are going sniffing out and licking into submission

GC: NOT 1F 1 4M 4CTU4LLY WORK1NG W1TH TH3 LOC4L POL1C3 FORC3

TG: oh

TG: so you arent a vigilante

TG: well i better stop working on this drawing then

TG: batman really doesnt look good with red glasses and candy corn horns next to those bat ears he already has

GC: NOOOOOOO!!!! 1 W4NN4 S33!!!

TG: you mean smell and lick the screen all over

GC: WH4T3V3R!

GC: TH4NKS FOR PO1NT1NG OUT MY BL1NDN3SS ONC3 4G41N 4SSHOL3!

TG: pyrope

TG: get over yourself

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] is sending gallowsCalibrator [ GC ] the file b4ttywom4ncleaninggothamuponelickatatime.jpeg--

GC: OH MY GOG! 1TS GORG3OUS!! 1 W4NT TH4T L1COR1C3 OUTF1T!!!

TG: i thought you still had that neophyte redglare one

TG: or is that regulated to the bedroom

GC: 1TS B33N R3GUL4T3D  .....

GC: D4MN1T

TG: i really dont need to know your kinks

TG: its enough that i know that handcuffs do way too much for you and that they have to be the real deal no fuzzy substitutions allowed

GC: >:]

TG: no

GC: > :]

TG: really

GC: >:]

TG: jegus

GC: DONT D1SS 1T UNT1L YOU TRY 1T

TG: and how do you know if i havent

GC: WH4T?!?! YOUV3 CORRUPT3D JOHN SO MUCH THAT H3S BR1NG1NG N4UGHTY TOYS TO TH3 B3DROOM?!?

GC: D4VE!!!! HOW COULD YOU??

TG: jegus pyrope try to sound more scandalized and make me sound more like a pedophile

TG: thank gog we disabled that trollian view chat thing

TG: if we hadnt then there would be no thin layer of privacy between your imagination and the real deal

GC: PR1V4CY? WH4TS PR1V4CY?

TG: exactly

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3!!!

We continue to banter back and forth, setting into the familiar rapport that we established back during the game. We traded barbs and shitty drawings until a soft chime on my computer notifies me that grimAuxiliatrix has signed off leaving only Pyrope and I online. Huh, it really is that late.

TG: huh the cerulean troll is still in the living room

GC: VR1SK4S NOT TH3R3

GC: SH3S IN TH3 B3DROOM >:]

TG: my living room

GC: WH4T WOULD VR1SK4 B3 DO1NG 1N YOUR L1V1NG ROOM??

TG: not serket

TG: egberts study partner

TG: another blue troll

GC: OH

TG: well im probably gonna go rescue my matesprit from the clutches of organic chemistry

TG: good luck with all your shit ms judge dread

GC: SM3LL Y4 L4T3R COOLK1D!!!

\--gallowsCalibrator [ GC ] ceased chatting up turntechGodhead [ TG ]--

 

I stretch my back and neck as my computer shuts down. Twelve thirty four. Too late for any study session to go on for. Hopefully his brain really hasn’t melted. After pushing up from my desk I head into the living room. I get the strangest sensation of intruding as I take in the scene. Mermes is talking animatedly about something that I’m pretty sure doesn’t involve organic chemistry while Egbert is staring at her with his chin propped up on his hand. He’s wearing a slightly glossy expression. I’m wondering if he’ll make it to a bedroom at this rate. I might have to dump him on the couch.

“Cool story, bro, but I think your audience is just about asleep,” I cut in. Her hair swirls around as she quickly turns to identify me as the source of the interruption.

“Oh, you finally decided to join us out here. How pleasant,” she smiles up at me and goose bumps prickle at my skin.

“Just trying to enforce curfew before my boyfriend turns into a pumpkin. This organic chemistry stuff turns his brain to mush and zombie boyfriends aren’t a turn on for me. Cravings for the gray matter in my cranium really aren’t conducive to hot makeouts. So I am going to pull this princess out of the ball as it is already past the twelfth chime and it is going to be hell already to get him out of bed and into his glass slippers in the morning.”

She just sorta stares up at me with that silly head tilt again. “Was any of that supposed to make sense?”

“Not really. The tee elle dee arr version of that is that I’m closing up shop, kicking you out, and taking him to bed.” I nod over to Egbert who is yawning like crazy.

“Oh, I understand. Well thank you very much, John, for helping me understand this past week’s material.” The goosebumps come back as she pats his arm. “See you in class!” She stands and gathers her stuff as Egbert just blinks slowly as if trying to place where he is.

“Yo, Egbert, you’re supposed to say ‘you’re welcome,’” I offer.

“Welcome,” he slurs out. Oi, he’s pretty far gone.

“Ignore him. You guys can hash out study details in class.” I follow her to the door, opening it up for her as she lugs that massive purse along.

“Have a pleasant night,” she says as she passes by her bright blue shirt billowing after her. That’s not the right shade.

“You too.” I close the door behind it and lock it loudly. I look back over to Egbert to find that he has slumped over so far that his head is almost against the table. “Come on, love. The table isn’t a bed.”

“Huh?” He tries to look up at me but his eyes have fully glazed over like a Krispy Kreme donut.

“Geez, John. If you were this tired then you should have kicked her out much earlier than this.”

“Isn’t she pleasant? So pleasant...” he drawls.

I raise an eyebrow at this but attribute it to sleep talking. I really got to get this boy to bed. “I’m sure she was. Now come on; to your feet.” He somehow manages to follow that command but slumps fairly heavily in my direction. I catch him and have to work to get his arm over my shoulder. It’s kinda uncomfortable with the differences in our height, but I make it happen. Step by shuffled step I get him to his room and over to the bed. As I try to turn him to strip him of his clothes, he falls back onto his bed after I grab his glasses. Fuck. It’s like wrestling a dead body trying to get his jeans off and I end up calling his shirt a lost cause. As I roll him over to get him more centered on the bed, he just sorta curls up on himself. I set the alarm, take a quick tour of the apartment to finish my nightly routine and turn off all the lights, and then I climb into bed behind him.

“I love you, John.”

“Love ya too,” he murmurs back to me.


	35. Chapter 35

I smack the alarm because I am closest to the damn thing. I swear I am going to drop kick it out of the window. I was having the nicest dream before submarine klaxon sounds shattered it and drug me back into existence. Fuck.

Well at least I have something better than a dream in my arms.

I must still be mostly asleep to have actually thought something that sappy.

I rub my eyes and sit up, expecting Egbert to be ready to move me out of the way so that he can get on with his day. That’s usually why I sleep on the side towards the wall but I really couldn’t be bothered last night. But when I look down at him, he is still curled up. Exact position as when we went to sleep. Odd. He shifts positions at least a couple times at night usually. That’s how he end up stealing all of the blankets.

“Hey Egbert. Wakey wakey. Rise and shine. Greet the day. Up and at ‘em. Roll out. Shake a leg. Give me some sign of life.”

“Shut up.”

That strange behavior gets an eyebrow raised. “Dude. You are going to be late for class. Or at least be kinda gross for class if you are planning on skipping the shower.”

“Not goin’ to class.”

“Are you feeling okay, John?”

“Sleepy.”

“Well that’s what you get for staying up late with your nose in a book. Now come on, you’ve stayed up later before and been more alive than this. It’s like you are a morning time freak of nature sometimes.”

“Shut up or fuck off.” That gets two eyebrows raised.

“Alright. I’ll let you sleep in until we get up for my noon class. That should be late enough for you,” I agree to as I reach over and reset the alarm clock.

“Mmrf.”

* * *

The alarm goes off again at a much more reasonable hour. This time when I sit up Egbert sits up with me. He squints his eyes to look at the clock.

“Dave! Please tell me I am reading the clock wrong!”

“It’s eleven oh two. Your clock is about a minute and a half behind.”

“What?” he nearly shouts. “Why didn’t it go off at seven like it’s supposed to?”

“It did. I turned it off and reset it,” I tell him through a yawn.

“Why’d you make me skip class?” he asks sounding pretty upset about it.

Slowly I turn to face him. “I made you skip class? You are the one who told me to shut up or fuck off.”

“I said that?” His face falls from an frown to slackjaw surprise with a little concern still around his eyes.

“Yea. And you sounded really serious about it. Are you alright?”

“I feel fine. I really said that?”

“You were grouchier than Bro when I accidentally woke him up after one of his gigs before noon. And he nearly shishkabobbed me with one of his shitty swords.” It wasn’t even that much before noon. And I really was hungry. He forgot to leave me dinner before he went to his show the night before.

“Wow. What the hell?”

“That’s what I’m asking.” I threw the covers off and got up off the bed. “Come on. Let’s grab a shower before we do too much heavy thinking.”

“Sure.” He follows me into the bathroom shortly after I turn on the water. “I don’t remember this morning. Sorry for telling you to fuck off.”

“It’s okay. I’m over it. We just have to keep your study sessions from getting that late.”

“I guess.”

I step into the shower when steam is coming out of the top. I cover myself in the scalding water before Egbert steps in afterwards and turns it down. I grab the shampoo and pour some into my hand. When his hair is wet, I tug him out of the water and start rubbing the shampoo into his hair. He reaches around me, grabs the body wash, and starts washing me. I really enjoy this routine because it’s intimate contact without any sexual nature. It just something sweet that we can do for each other, touching each other, taking care of each other. When I am done, I push him back into the water and run my fingers through his hair to help rinse out the suds. Once he is done he grabs the shampoo and gives me the same treatment as I use the body wash on him. I love the way my hands slide over his skin with the soap. I finish his front as he is still working my hair so I step close to him and reach around him to work on his back. He smirks up at me and I can’t help myself as I lean down just enough kiss him. Shit gets tender until a chunk of shampoo decides to ruin it by sliding down into my eye.

“Shit, shit! Ow. Move, Egbert.”

“Sorry!”

“Yea yea, list your platitudes later. See this is why we don’t have shower sex while actually trying to shower. Porn lies.”

“When does porn ever tell the truth?”

“You mean not all pizza delivery guys can be paid with sex?”

“No, Dave, just no.” I grin at him once my eye stops burning. “And we are not ordering pizza tonight just so that you can try to molest the delivery guy just to try and prove me wrong.”

“Aw, way to ruin all of my fun. All of it.”

“Well that’s what happen when you are my boyfriend. I selfishly want all the molestations for myself.”

“Now you are just doing that on purpose. Being all cute and coy and naked when I have class in thirty one minutes.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” His hands go to my waist as he steps closer, only flinching a little when the spray of water bounces off my head and into his face. Of course my body reacts to him because damn, wet naked Egbert is hot and sexy and really messing with my morning routine. He smirks at me when he notices it because it’s kinda difficult not to notice an erection as it brushes against a leg or hip or stomach just like how I notice his.

“Damnit, John.” I grip the back of his head and pull him against with me, kissing him hard. The warm water sluices over us. He pulls our bodies together, making wet skin slip and rub with delicious friction. I flex my hips against his, swallowing the moan that rises from his throat with my kiss. A desperate hand finds it’s way between us and grips both members together and using the water and residual soaps starting jerking them rough and hard. I groan as my length is drug up along with his, the undersides pressed together with a heat hotter than the water still falling over my shoulders. I lick droplets off of his cheek and neck as he throws his head back in pleasure.

“Dave!” he calls out as his cock twitches against mine before cumming over the hand still stroking us together. That chord of need in his voice and that look of pure pleasure on his face is enough to push me over and I am cumming as well.

We lean against each other, catching our breaths as the water washes away the evidence. As I feel the water begin to shift from warm to cool I pull away from him. “Good morning, babe.”

“Good morning indeed,” he smiles back up at me.

I turn into the water for one more rinse and then step out of the shower reaching for the white fluffy towels on the rack. I wrap one around me before the cold air on my wet skin can make me shiver too badly. Actually at this point I don’t really know if it’s the cold or just the post orgasmic tremors. Then I decide it doesn’t really matter. The water cuts off behind me and I hand Egbert another towel.

* * *

Egbert found friends in the classes that he skipped that let him copy their notes. Thankfully there weren’t any pop quizzes or homework due either.

He did come home from classes with a pizza. Knocked on the door and made me open it and everything. And of course I didn’t have any money on me so I had to pay for it by other means. But he didn’t make it easy for me. I really had to pull out my Strider swag to make him give me that cheesy delicious goodness in his hands.

All in all it was probably better than getting a sexual harassment suit for molesting an innocent delivery guy.

* * *

The next morning he was again his usual chipper self. Same with the rest of the week. We still can’t figure out what brought out his morning grump but he’s promised me never to let the study sessions get that late again until finals at least. All bets are off then apparently. We don’t have any plans for the weekend. Yet.


	36. Chapter 36

TG: so what are you wearing

EB: where are you? are you even at home?

TG: not telling you

TG: what are you wearing

TG: im just lounging in my boxers

EB: are you really doing this???

TG: we are making this happen

EB: bluh! this would be easier irl

TG: just go along with it you little shit

EB: bluh! fine.

EB: i’m wearing my sleeveless hoodie and sweatpants.

TG: sexy

TG: is that all you got

EB: i don’t have anything on underneath.

TG: you are have piqued my interest

EB: are you really just in your boxers?

TG: the silk red ones

EB: i like those on you.

EB: i think i’d like them better on the floor.

TG: sure deal

TG: as soon as we get that hoodie off of you

EB: ugh! then i’ll be cold!

TG: dont worry babe ill warm you right up

TG: just let me slide my hands underneath that

TG: and up over your head

TG: just gonna toss this aside cause its not like you are going to need it anymore

TG: youre not gonna need any clothes with what i have mind

EB: and what exactly do you have in mind?

TG: well as soon as i stop drooling over this fine example of masculinity ive exposed i was thinking about touching it all over just letting my hand roam and feel and caress as i lean in and kiss you until whoops there go my hands wandering into dangerous territory but they really cant help themselves can they when there is such a fine specimen of gluteus maximus waiting to be fondled

EB: oh jeez dave!

TG: that feel nice

TG: do you like the idea of me touching you like i cant get enough of you like i have to have my body pressed against yours to live i have to have my lips on yours so that you can teach me how to breathe again because i get so lost in your blue sometimes that i forget

EB: wow.

EB: uh... yea. i love that.

EB: i love the way you touch me, like you still aren’t sure you are allowed to so i have to show you that you are mine and i am yours so i kiss your neck, sucking until i leave a hickey, something to mark you as mine.

TG: id like that

TG: tell me more

EB: i touch you back, tracing out your lines and edges especially that one from your shoulders to your hips that makes you shudder when my fingers skim along there.

TG: i’d let you touch me where ever you want just to keep you touching me

EB: my fingers trace down from your neck to your collarbone down along your abs to your hips.

I let my fingers ghost along the path he’s telling me as I lay on my bed.

EB: i play with the waistband of those boxers because they are getting in the way. how can i touch all of you with them there?

TG: how about i take them off for you

EB: that would be handy :)

I can imagine the sexy smirk that is probably on his face right now.

TG: alright

TG: im lifting my hips up and pushing my boxers down

TG: the waistband passes my ass up in the air down my thighs over my knees past my calves and then i kick them to the floor because they are no longer welcomed on the bed by egberts decree

I hit send on the phone and then follow through with my listed actions.

TG: there naked for all of your touching no fabric to get in the way of your fingers palms hands lips body against mine

TG: you have an all access pass to the wonderland that is this striders body

TG: you have found the golden ticket you are the winner it is you

EG: how yummy!

EG: but i have another idea :D

TG: im all ears love

EG: i want you to touch yourself, put on a show for me.

TG: oh ill give you a show

TG: my hands move down my front slowly teasingly until you are leaning forward in the seat wanting more so ill give you more because that means i can finally wrap my hand around my hard cock yes i am already hard for you because you are the sexiest thing in the universe

I have to restrain the moan that threatens to spill out of my mouth as my actions follow my own narrative. I am really grateful for the feature on my phone that lets me text with one hand.

TG: my dick is stiff and swollen and weeping which i use to make my palm slick so its easier to stroke myself

TG: do you enjoy watching my hand slide up and down my length watching as the head slips disappears and the pushes back out as i fist my cock from tip to base watching as i quiver to keep my hips from thrusting up into my hand

EB: don't hold anything back.

I really have to swallow hard at that text to stifle down a moan but I do let the tension on my hips go.

TG: i spread my legs open so that you have a better view of me jerking it each upward stroke pulls on my balls a little making them bounce my hips lift just a little with each downward stroke

TG: feels good to touch myself i want you to touch me but knowing that you are watching this that this is what you want is so hot

EB: stop stroking yourself.

My hand drops away from my dick like it was on fire. Which really isn't too far from the truth with how hot this is.

EB: i want you to touch yourself lower. get yourself some lube and spread it around down there.

Good thing I was prepared. I snag the lube from beside me, crack it open and pour some on my fingers. I smear it around just for a moment to let it warm up a little, but I still gasp as I touch myself. I do as he says and spread it around my entrance, not pushing in yet because he hasn't told me to yet. With my clean hand:

TG: alright getting nice and messy for you

EB: push one finger in. only one. don't get greedy on me.

TG: i only do your bidding your wish is my command

Literally. I push the tip of my middle finger against the ring of muscle until it gives way. I lightly push in and out, spreading the lube around inside until I get used to the intrusion.

EB: work it as far as you can go.

EB: no skimping!! i know how much you can take ;)

I smile at the emoticon but follow his commands, pushing in a little farther than I pull out until I literally can't go any farther. The rest of my fingers are splayed out against the curve of my ass.

TG: k

EB: good boy! now let's add a second.

EB: pull out only as far as you need to though.

It's a little tricky but I manage to comply, working my ring finger in alongside my middle one until that one is also as far in as it can go.

EB: scissor and stretch yourself for me.

EB: open yourself like you are begging for me.

EB: show me how much you want me.

I obey, having to bite my lips to stop my gasps, moans, groans, but otherwise I don't hold anything back. I pump my fingers in and out, in and out, enjoying the light burn that accompanies the stretching. My hips jolt up with every thrust, wanting more despite the fact I'm already knuckle deep. I spread my fingers out as I pull out to stretch out the moment and my ass a little more.

Then my fingers brush against that special spot and it's electric. I can't stop the sharp moan that fall out of my mouth. Over my strained breathing I hear a faint, "Dave?" from the other room. I moan again as I shove my fingers back inside. My eyes are trained on the door as the handle rattles just before opening.

He really is wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. He is still wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.

He stands there staring at me with my legs opened and my hand at my ass. His mouth opens and closes a couple times until I return to his previous commands, pistoning my fingers in and out.

"Holy fuck." His eyes seem glued to my hand. "You actually..."

"Well, yea. You told me to," I manage to get out in between pants. I watch his stunned face that is quickly blushing at the lewd sight in front of him. Glancing down briefly I note the tent in his sweatpants. "Enjoying the show?"

"Fuck yes." He steps into the room, closing the door behind him. But instead of coming over to the bed, he goes to my desk and pulls the chair over to a good angle. "You've slowed down."

I suppose I have, so I return to focusing on fingering my ass as he watches. That's so fucking hot. My body twitches in agreement, arousal no longer confined to just my cock at this point. When I next look over at John next, his hand is down in his sweatpants stroking himself to my show.

"Thought I took that hoodie off."

His eyes flicker up to my face, almost surprised that it's connected to what else is happening on the bed. "I didn't think you were actually doing this. I thought you were just messing with me." He pulls his hand out and pulls the article in question off over his head. "There. That better?"

"Much. Now, what else shall I do for you?”

“Well obviously you need to keep going because you are still making coherent sentences.” He pushes his pants down to his thighs and strokes himself where I can see it. Of course I watch, splitting my attention between my ass and his cock and how they are teasing one another especially when he starts pacing himself to my hand. I bite my lip to hold in a moan. “No. Let it out. Moan for me, Dave.” His voice has that deep huskiness that he gets when he is thoroughly turned on so I do as he says and moan like a whore in heat for him. Letting go like that sends a wave of pleasure through me that reaches all the way to my toes that are curling into the sheets. It finally settles in my core and burns steadily.

I continue on until my breathing falters and I stumble over my words eventually getting out, “Touch... please... can I... touch myself... please!” I brokenly beg.

“Not yet,” how the fuck can he sound that steady that calm. “You aren’t there yet.”

I let out a very frustrated groan but keep my fingers pistoning in and out like it’s the only thing keeping me sane and then my fingers brush over that spot and I am no longer sane. My body arches off of the bed as I cry out for him. I keep my eyes locked on him, not really able to concentrate on focusing between the blues eyes that watch me hungrily, his tongue as it licks his lips so enticingly, his chest as it heaves lightly as his breath catches, his skin that shines with a light sheen of sweat, his hand as it strokes up and down to my in and out, and the head of his cock as a bead of precum swells before being swept away by a swipe of his thumb.

“John... fuck... John... fucking touch me!” My body is on fire and it feels like if he just breathed on me I would explode.

“Stop,” he commands. My hand pulls away from myself so fast that I might have friction burn on my ass. I have to grip the sheets to obey from not touching myself. I am panting hard as my whole body fucking convulses from the drastic change.

“Fuck.”

“Oh. Wow. You really are gonna do whatever I say,” he says in an awed hushed tone. I just shiver in response. “Don’t move unless I say so.” He stands up. “And don’t cum until I say so.” I whine loudly at his words, but I don’t refuse. He comes over to the side of the bed. “Cover your eyes.” My clean hand comes up and clamps itself over my eyes. “Spread your legs.” I push them apart until the top of one foot hits the wall and the ankle of the other catches on the edge of the mattress. “Good boy.” I involuntarily quiver at that.

I can’t see him but his voice is still coming from the side of the bed. I jerk a little when his fingers brush against my chest. It’s not even a full touch; it’s just a light grazing that curls and sweeps and dances just above my skin. I hold my breath to keep my chest steady, breathing shallowly only when I have to. The tips of his fingers are like embers but I want them to burn me everywhere. I whimper when they withdraw and gasp loudly as they return as a heavy grip across my neck. The pressure is that perfect balance between being too much and being ineffective. The bed shifts as he leans on it to get closer to me I assume. Just the thought that he is there right out of reach combined with my voluntary blindness keeps me up at the edge I had worked myself to. If he was just to touch me...

“Remember you can’t cum until I say so.” His voice is right there by my ear making me jump a little and press myself against his hand at my neck. His other hand starts up those light feather touches running from my collar bone down. It bypasses where I really want him, where I really need him to touch and starts caressing my thigh closest to him. I strain to keep myself from moving, all muscles pulled taut. I’m pretty sure I am about to rip holes in my sheet where I am gripping it.

“Please...” I half whisper, half moan.

“Please what? Let you cum? Touch you? Fuck you?” he growls seductively into my ear.

“Yes please!”

“No.” I sob out loud at the answer. “I like seeing you like this. I love watching you react to my touches. I love how you obey. I love your whispered begs like you don’t even want what you are asking for. I love seeing you so open and wanting. I love knowing that you are mine.” His hand goes from moving with light touches to resting full palm against my far hip. I have to lock down my muscles to keep from rocking against it. His weight shifts but I can’t tell what he’s doing because I can’t see and the rest of my senses are on overload.

“You may cum.” Then suddenly there is a wet heat sliding along the underside of my cock. I scream out his name as my body impossibly tightens up another couple notches when I cum, painting my stomach. Through the haze of my pleasure I can feel the bed shake a little and then I hear John’s low groan.

My dick twitches with aftershocks as my body slowly relaxes and loosens all my muscles until I am nothing but jelly. Our combined heavy panting fills the silence until he chuckles at me. “You can uncover your eyes now.” My arm falls heavily from my face. I blink a couple of times and then I find John’s face. He’s smiling softly at me with a look of pure contentment.

* * *

The rest of the weekend consisted of snuggles with mostly me wrapped around his back if he was on his computer or draped over his lap if we were watching a movie. I keep him from doing too much class work for the rest of Saturday and for most of Sunday. I finally give in when he tells me that there was going to be a test in his organic chemistry class on Friday next week.

“Alright, fine. You can have your book back. I hid it in your bookbag.”

“You know, that’s actually kinda brilliant. Hiding it by putting it away. I would never have guessed to look there.”

“Not with the way that you were checking out the freezer, microwave, under the sink, the shower, behind my turntables, et cetera. It was if you were a drug dog going after my stash. Which you’ll never find on your own either.”

“Hey I listen to your stories about the Houston apartment. You and Bro never put anything into the right spot apparently. I mean you had fireworks in the sink and cherry bombs in the ice maker!”

“Just because we didn’t, didn’t mean we didn’t know how to.”

“Sure, Dave, sure.”

“Whatever. But if you are going to study organic chemistry this late you should curl up in bed to read it.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because that shit makes you pass out like Roxy on her seventh rum and coke. I’ve had to haul your ass to bed after your study sessions and you were barely coherent in the mornings. It would make my job easier if you were already in bed. Taking the pants off of a sleepy Egbert is not an easy task and very less sexy than it sounds.”

“That’s so weird. Studying doesn’t usually make me tired and it’s not like I fall asleep in class... You are just angling to get more snuggles in.”

“That might be a beneficial side effect that I am looking forward to.”

He does as I recommend and studies in bed. He has his organic chemistry book and I have my laptop and we are leaning up against each other. It’s just so casually comfortable that I don’t even realize that I am smiling until Egbert asks me what I am smiling at as he closes his book up just after eleven.

“I’m smiling? Huh. Guess I am. I was just thinking about us.”

“That’s a good smile to have then.”

“Ready for bed?”

“Yea, I finished rereading the chapters. But I’m not as tired as I thought I would be.”

“You are making fully coherent sentences, which is an improvement.”

“Just pass me your laptop.” I exit out of the programs, close the lid, and hand him my laptop to put on the night stand. He also turns off the lamp before turning back to bed. In the darkness we arrange ourselves into a comfortable position. “This weekend was nice.”

“It was. I didn’t have to share you with anyone.”

“Are you jealous of my classmates?”

“I am jealous of anyone who gets to bask in the beam of sunshine that is your smile. I even get jealous of myself sometimes.”

“How does that even work? You don’t have any alternates anymore.”

“I don’t know. Just accept the praise.” I lean over and kiss him as he tries to make a smart ass reply.

“Hehe, alright. You win. Goodnight, Dave.”

“Goodnight, love.”

“Sweetheart.”

“Pumpkin.”

“Darling.” “Babe.” “Dearest.” “Angel.” “Buttercup.” “Honey bun.” “Dumpling.” “Tootsie.” “Doll face.” “Smoochy.” “Snookums.” “Stud muffin.” “Hot stuff.” “Casanova.” “Uh...” “Prince.” “Princess.” “Hey!”

“I’ll be your Mario if you’ll be my Peach.”

“I’m going to another castle if you call me princess again.”

“Aw come on. It works! I’m a brunette and you’re a blonde. Plus I think you’d look good in a dress.”

“What?” All of my facial expression directed at that comment is lost in the darkness of the room so instead I roll over away from him. “No. Striders do not wear dresses. This bod is much too manly to be decked out in lace and frills and pink. No. Never going to happen.” His arms go to my waist and pull me against him as he scoots towards me. I know I am in trouble when I feel his breath of the outer shell of my ear.

“And what if I ask you to?”

I don’t say anything but I think the shudder than passes through my body answered for me. Sexy, husky, seductive whispers in the dark should be illegal. Especially when they are asking me to dress in drag.


	37. Chapter 37

"-fessor trips over the leg of the stool and nearly wipes out but manages to catch himself. The class is in stitches over it and so he throws us a pop quiz." I catch the end of a story as Egbert comes into the apartment.

"No he didn't." The second voice has me straightening up from looking inside the fridge. I thought he was on the phone or something but no, it's Mermes. In a red shirt? Weird.

Wait. It's only Tuesday, not study night Thursday.

"He did. He typed up an impossible question up on the projector screen." I close the fridge door and the noise catches Egbert's attention. When he looks up, a brief expression of surprise crosses his face, but he shakes his head and smiles at me. "Hi Dave!"

"Sup. Changing up study night?"

"Pleasant to see you too, Dave." I throw her a wave but keep the question directed at Egbert.

"Well there’s that test on Friday so an extra study session isn't a bad idea and since you won't let us go past bedtime," (okay there's an odd note to his voice when he says that) "Mermes suggested that we start earlier."

"Alright. I'll make dinner for three then. Need to run out to the grocery store since we have jack shit in the apartment. Any preferences food-wise, Mermes?"

"Not in particular. But could you call me by my first name? Prynne is much more pleasant than Mermes."

"It is," Egbert jumps in, "but the last name thing is just something Dave does. I am forever Egbert in his books."

"Right. Well I'll ollie-outie of your way so you can get your brains on." I swing by Egbert's elbow to grab a kiss and he pecks me quickly on the lips before turning back to his bag. I pokerface the frown away as I grab my shades and keys off of the counter. "Later."

I pause just outside the closed door when I hear, "What's with the silly sunglasses?"

"Oh, those are just another one of his quirks."

* * *

It's still pretty late when they finally call it a night. I go ahead and finish up projects on my computer and change into my pajama pants when I hear their goodnights. I'm shutting down my computer when I hear the distinct sound of Egbert's bedroom door closing. When there is nothing else forthcoming I stick my head out of my room. He's left almost every light of the living room and kitchen on. With a sigh I go around to lock the door and turn off the lights, but when I glance at his room there isn't any light on under his door. Huh, guess he went onto bed. I finish up my routine and head to my own room. I hope he set his alarm.

* * *

He set his alarm. He just won't fucking turn it off. At four minutes and thirty one seconds I throw the covers off and stalk to his room. I grab the knob prepared to go through the door frame but instead I faceplant into the paneling. What the fuck? He fucking locked the door? I start pounding on the damn thing hard enough to be heard over the alarm. Finally the alarm stops and I can hear faint shuffling noises from inside. I keep on knocking until I hear him rattle the knob from the other side and a confused "the hell?" He finally figures out the lock mechanism and the door swings open. Usually I find his tousled bed head hair endearing, but the dark circles under his eyes that are rivalling Vantas’ at his worse just makes him look like hell.

"Holy shit, dude. You are not pulling off the insomniac look well. You should have come and gotten me if you were having trouble sleeping."

"I didn't. I crashed hard last night. I don't even remember my head hitting the pillow." I find it hard to believe him when he's leaning against the door frame like it's about to be his next bed.

"John," I reach a hand out to check the temperature of his forehead but he feels fine. "Do you think you're coming down with something?"

"Nah, just tired." He leans into my hand.

"Do you want to go to class?"

"No? But since I'm up I probably should." He pushes off of the door frame and nearly falls into my arms as he heads to the bathroom. I watch him try to trip on the threshold, then sigh and go to the kitchen to start some coffee. Extra strength. I head back to the bathroom to make sure he doesn't slip and crack the tile with his head.

We get through the morning routine without any incident. Egbert is looking better by the time I hand him one of the two large cups of coffee in convenient travel mugs. He takes it gratefully and then blinks at the second one then again at my state of dress.

"You have something before noon?"

"Yea, taking my boyfriend to class." He stares blankly at me. I don't hear any cogs turning in his head. "You don't have the mental capacity to cross the street right now let alone get across campus.

"Oh."

"Yea. Come on. You'll owe me movie night tonight."

* * *

The best part about movie night is the accompanying hot make out sessions. I’m pretty sure that Egbert has seen each of these movies about twenty times each so I really don’t feel bad to interrupt it for some lip locking action.

Are those the credits? Those are the credits. Fuck yes. Maybe now I can get him to pay a little more attention. I press him into the couch, throwing my leg over his lap so that I am straddling him. And all without breaking the kiss. I am the master of makeouts. It is me. His hands slide up the outside of my thighs and around my back to cup my ass. I moan into his mouth as he grips and palms.

“Mur ut ist inny,” he tries through the kiss.

I pull away slightly, just enough to free his lips. “What?”

“Your butt is so skinny.” He squeezes it as if to emphasize the fact.

“Are you saying I’m not fat?” I reply in an over exaggerated insulted tone. Theatrical gasp included.

“It’s all bony and uncomfortable,” he answers with slightly furrowed brows.

“Huh. That’s new.” I lean back a little farther to get a better look at his face. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yea, just pleasant. A slight headache I guess. I’m going to go sleep it off.” He starts pushing at me so I go ahead and slip off of his lap. He gets to his feet and goes to the bathroom with a slight stumble. I hear the rattle of medicine in the bottle and some running water to presumably wash it down. When he emerges, he looks over and me and waves, “Goodnight, Dave.”

“Night, Egbert. I’m gonna stay up a little longer. Hope you feel better in the morning.”

“Okay.” He goes into his room, closing the door behind him.

What the fuck was all that about? Eventually I get up and head to my room to get on my computer.

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up arachnidsGrip [ AG ]--

TG: sup

AG: Whoa! The cool kid has decided to take a 8reak from macking on the 8lue 8lunder and is talking to me!

AG: Are you sure you didn’t mean to click on gallowsCali8r8or instead?

TG: shes not online

TG: and since you are im assuming that i am not interrupting anything

AG: Well, she is a little tied up :::;)

TG: as i have already explained to pyrope i really dont want to know what goes on in your bedroom

AG: Who said anything about the 8edroom? she’s in the middle of investig8ing. Get your mind out of the gutter!

TG: oh

TG: whatever

TG: i actually did want to talk to you specifically though

AG: Why?

TG: this is gonna make me sound as paranoid as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs

TG: as a chicken in an alligator farm around lunch time

TG: as a marshmallow floating down the nile

TG: did you know that crocodiles like marshmallows campers have apparently taught them that and they float the marshmallows float but i guess campers do too so i could be as paranoid as a camper floating down the nile that would work as well

AG: Just get on with it!

TG: have you come across any other cerulean bloods with your jedi mind trick powers

AG: A couple, 8ut not a 8unch. Again, why?

TG: next question

TG: in the game your powers didnt work on us humans they just put us to sleep which caused enough issues anyways including but not limited to the creation of jack noir who fucked up more shit than was truly necessary

AG: Please get to the point. XXXX\

TG: is it still that way in this new alternia earth place

AG: Uh, I don’t know.

AG: Hang on. Let me go find out.

TG: let you go find out

TG: why does that terrify me for the people of your city

TG: how are you even planning on doing that

TG: are you going to go out and find the nearest human tie him or her i guess up and try to mind fuck with them until you get an answer or theyre comatose in dreamland

TG: oh gog you really have left the computer

TG: i pray for their poor pitiful souls

TG: you know this could be evidence that pyrope would need to lock you up

TG: thats a fantasy of hers you know

TG: you probably do

TG: jegus why do my conversations with the two of you always end up in that direction

TG: and i walked myself to the gallows on that one

TG: you know it was supposed to be a quick yes or no answer not an in depth exploration of powers that i am pretty sure are illegal if they actually work

AG: Jegus Strider! I was just at my window.

AG: There are a 8unch of people walking around on the sidewalk.

AG: My powers work at a good distance so there is no need for kidnapping. Now that’s illegal. :::;)

TG: so whats the prognosis mind hacking spider bitch

AG: That’s Miss Spider 8itch to you!

TG: whatever

TG: spill

AG: Well, it seems that it only puts humans to sleep still and it has much less effect on trolls. Which is such a shame. It just makes them walk around all 8ooooooooring and clueless instead of doing the task I gave them.

TG: damn

AG: That’s a 8ad answer? I thought you would be happy with that.

TG: its probably a good thing that you cant mess with peoples heads anymore

TG: though pyrope will be disappointed to know that you havent been doing anything illegal that way and im kinda surprised that its taken you this long to try it

AG: I’m reformed, thank you very much.

TG: 8ullshit

AG: Hey!

TG: anyways thanks for the information

AG: Hang on! You still haven’t told me what’s going on!

AG: That was a very specific and pointed question.

AG: Is there another 8lue 8looded 8itch troll messing with you guys?????????

AG: I need to know if there is 8ecause that’s my jo8!!!!!!!!!

TG: nah its nothing

TG: again its probably just paranoia

AG: Just 8ecause you are paranoid doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you.

TG: arent you just pleasant

TG: on that note im gonna hit the sack

AG: Give the 8lue-eyed 8oy a kiss for me! ::::X

TG: why the fuck do you think i would do that

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased chatting up arachindGrip [ AG ]--


	38. Chapter 38

I’m expecting John to be accompanied by Mermes when he comes back from class on Thursday. I was not expecting half of the organic chemistry class to crowd up the apartment as well.

“Whoa, what’s up with the sudden invasion?”

“Oh hey Dave! We’re doing a big study group meeting for the test and Prynne pleasantly suggested that we host it at my place.”

“Uh sure. I guess that’s alright. I don’t think I have enough lamb chops for everyone though.”

“Baby woolbeast chops? Ew. I hate those. They are very unpleasant! Why would you cook those?” Mermes objects.

“Dave, how rude!” What? “Well anyways, we were thinking about ordering pizza instead since we have such a large group.”

“Speaking of the Huns, care to introduce me? Wouldn’t want to be rude,” I return evenly.

“Oh yea! Dave, this is Alba, Frieda, Russ, Bernadette, Sallie, Keith, Naomi, Marcus, James, and Rodger.” Egbert points to each particular person to give me a name I’ll probably forget within the hour. I wave a general greeting in their direction. “Guys, this is my roommate Dave!” Roommate? Not boyfriend? Guess that’s his subtle way of telling me to keep the PDA down. Probably another suggestion from the cerulean because honestly, subtlety isn’t Egbert’s thing. And speaking of suggestions,

“Just don’t give him your last names or you’ll never hear your first name ever again.” I glance over at Egbert to see if he would comment or defend me against this slander, but he’s just smiling like Mermes’ told a great joke. Enough of this circus.

“Glad to have met y’all, but I’ll be hanging out in my room until pizza arrives. If you need anything feel free to knock. I don’t bite unless you ask nicely,” I deadpan. That gets a couple snickers from the audience and a not so gentle shove from Egbert towards my room.

“Heh heh, sure Dave. We’ll see you later.” He keeps his hands firmly on my shoulders until I am within my room. I turn around to grab a kiss now that we are somewhat away from prying eyes but he’s already turned back towards the other room. I close my door and catch some of the conversation out in the room.

“Hey dude, we didn’t mean to drive your roommate away,” one of the guests offer. Hey, at least they aren’t all assholes.

“Don’t worry about it. He always does this even when it’s just me coming over to study with John. It’s like he’s allergic to studying.” Cue laughter. I am kinda disappointed when I can pick out Egbert’s laughter as well.

* * *

I don’t bring up my concerns for his behavior before the test, but I do make sure he gets up and I give him extra extra strength coffee that resembles the sludge that we had back on the meteor as he stumbles out of the door.

I don’t bring up my concerns afterwards either. It’s kinda hard to burst his bubble when he comes home beaming because of course he aced the test. Like that was ever in question. He also has date plans for us, but “It’s a secret!” Fine whatever. I’ve pulled that on him enough times that he’s allowed to return the bullshit.

* * *

But this is utter and complete bullshit. This is a big uncomfortable steaming pile of musclebeast manure that I cannot believe that I am still sitting here watching this travesty unfold in front of us. This horrific event that is on display for all to be ashamed to see is an anime premiere.

Now, I have seen some decent anime. I have seen some good anime (Afro Samurai, Trigun, Girl Who Leapt Through Time to name a few off the top of my head). I have seen anime that was so bad that it was good again. I have seen obscure and weird anime where nothing makes sense even to brain dead potheads. This film, and it’s an insult to all filmography to call it that, doesn’t fall into any of those categories. This is the shit that gives anime a bad name.

It’s a harem based anime filled with a bunch of screaming crying girls all vying for a screaming crying male protagonist (at least I am assuming male but at the rate they keep falling into poorly contrived situations to add drama, I wouldn’t be surprised if the characters were to suddenly genderbend). And all of that is going on without an actual backup plot to even help the movie along. It is simply some lonely loser’s attempt at a relationship fantasy with obvious notes of self-insertion. Even Ampora’s emotional tales of relationship woes would win Oscars compared to this brain rotting drivel.

And it’s not like I can get my mack on with the man who is making me suffer through this because instead of sitting in the back, we are sitting in the smack dab middle of a sea of fangirls (disturbingly not all of them are female) and the inhuman shrieks of the cast of harpies on the screen occur on average every ten seconds. Neither make for a good makeout setting.

I still don’t understand why we are still sitting here as Egbert is clearly as uncomfortable as I am with all of the fidgeting and squirming he is doing in his seat. I haven’t left him yet because this is his date and he was pretty excited abo-

Holy shit. They just pulled the genderbend. That’s it. As much as I love the derp I cannot stand another second of this. Egbert can stay to the end of this, but I have to get the fuck out. “I’m not losing any more brain cells to this,” I tell him before I stand and quickly exit out of the row with harsh whispers from Egbert following me. I will not stop for anything. Even if he was promising hot sex for twenty four hours straight with whatever kinks I want to indulge. Nope. I am resolute in my absconding.

I get to the lobby of the theater and find a place to sit where Egbert can find me seeing as he elected not to follow my lead. I pull out my phone and pull up reviews of that abomination. Unsurprisingly it got an F minus on that site, a one out of ten on that one, a thirty out of a hundred on that one, and a negative twenty out of five on another. How the hell did he choose this to come to out of everything else we could have done this weekend?

Resigned to wait out the movie, I buy another bucket of popcorn and a soda from an unfamiliar attendant. We weren’t even at our usual haunt either. It was a good hour and a half drive from our apartment. I return to my bench and entertain myself with Angry Featherbeasts on my phone to pass the time.

An hour and twenty two minutes later, the theater doors open and the crowd spills out. Egbert is one of the last ones to file out. I see him before he notices me so I make my way over to him. Thankfully I did because I have to dash the last few steps to catch his elbow before he trips and almost falls to the floor.

“Hey, I warned you about losing brain cells. Now you don’t even have enough to walk straight.”

“Shut up, Dave.” He rubs his face with his hands

“Are you okay?” I grab his wrists and pull them away to look at his face. Hints of dark circles are under his eyes and he’s wearing an ugly frowning glare. “Yea, you aren’t okay. Let’s get you home so that you can sleep this off.”

“I’m fine. Just pleasant.” He twists his wrists out of my hands and starts stomping off towards the entrance. I follow two steps behind until he trips on nothing and I have to catch him again. We don’t say anything as I wrap my arm around his waist and continue onto the car. I only let him go when he shrugs me off at the car door. He manages to get into the car fine but still has that grouchy expression. As I pull out of the parking lot he is resolutely staring out the window with his chin on his fist.

As the sun sets behind the trees, I pull off of the highway and into a fast food joint. “Two bacon cheeseburgers, large fry, and a strawberry milkshake, right?” I ask, finally breaking the silence.

“Yea. That’s fine.” I add my part to the order when the talking clown asks me how it can help me. I drive around to the next window, fork over some money, and take the greasy loot in return passing it over to Egbert’s lap.

“Fry me.” I hold out my hand to him as I navigate the car back onto the highway. He drops a hot and salty sliver of potato into my hands. I hear him munching away as well which I take as a good sign. Whatever illness that is causing his irritability isn’t affecting his appetite. We go through the practiced motions of driver and copilot where he passes me food and I keep my eyes on the road.

He crumples up the wrapper of the second burger. “Sorry.”

“Not that big of a deal, dude, but do you want to explain to me why all this happened?”

“Well it wasn’t supposed to be that bad. I heard that it was pretty pleasant actually.”

“From who? All of the online reviews roasted it with fires of burning disgust. I had to go all the way to the director’s personal page to find something that wasn’t utter hate towards it.”

“Prynne said that it was just sorta misunderstood but really good if you can get past the silliness.” Well that connects a few of the dots and I briefly wonder if the user hypnoticHips could be her online alias.

“Okay. Can we be in agreement that she has terrible tastes in movies and ignore any future suggestions?”

“Yea, that was pretty unpleasant.”

“Downright horrifying. But if you agree, why didn’t you leave with me? You stayed for the entire thing.”

“I don’t know.” I glance over at him and find him frowning again, but it’s more of a contemplative expression than a glare. “I wanted to. But then I had this feeling that it would be wrong to follow you out. And then I got this head ache again and I all I wanted to do was sit quietly in the dark.”

“It definitely wasn’t quiet in there and not very dark.”

“I know but whenever I tried to get up, it just hurt more.”

I reach over and grab his hand, squeezing it briefly. “Let’s get you medicated and in bed. So far sleeping it off seems to work.”

“Yea. That sounds good. Can I get some snuggles too?”

“Of course, I’ll call Harley and get her to teleport over to make up this dire lack of snuggles in your life. She’ll be your own teddy bear of space with plenty of derpy hugs guaranteed to cuddle the shit out of you whether or not her suffocating care is literal as well a metaphorical.”

“I meant from you.”

“I know. I think I can spare some patented Strider snuggles for the night.”

* * *

When his breathing changes to slow deep steady breaths I carefully slip out of his arms. After picking up my laptop, I pause at the door, tempted to go back and join him. Especially since this breaks the longest streak that we haven’t slept together since the doldrums episode. And that reminds me of why I am getting my laptop out.

 

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] began chatting up gardenGnostic [ GG ]--

TG: sup

GG: DAVE!! dave dave dave!

TG: whoa someone is an excited puppy please do not tinkle on the carpet i just had these steam cleaned

GG: EW!!! dave that was most uncalled for D:

TG: sorry its what the little rat of a chihuahua would do whenever it saw me from down the hall

TG: i have no idea what dog tendencies youve kept from the stint you had being combined with the fucking devilbeast

GG: are you calling me part fucking devilbeast?? that pees on carpets when excited!?!?

TG: uh

TG: i guess i am

GG: rude >:(

TG: yea i guess that came out a little harsh

TG: kinda stressed out on this end so my words have been rucked up recently instead of laying down smooth sick burns

GG: stressed out? whats been going on?

GG: you havent been hit by another car have you?? >:O

TG: no no automobiles are involved with this current predicament

TG: got a question for you though

GG: shoot!

TG: with the doldrums thing did egbert ever get antagonistic instead of becoming more of a feathers for brains than my orange self

GG: antagonistic??

GG: well not really...

GG: there was one time that he got upset enough that he screamed until he passed out in his driveway

GG: but honestly that was more hormones than anything aspect related

GG: and it only was that night

GG: apparently his dreams helped him snap out of it

TG: well damn there goes another possibility out of the window

GG: whats going on?

TG: i wish i knew

TG: so far ive ruled brainwashing out and now doldruming out and i dont think hes still wrestling with hormones

TG: i dont think ive screwed up recently

TG: i am honestly out of explanations for what could cause egbert to act like a first class douche who is conflicted between shoving me away and keeping me around to mock me with his new study friends

GG: i cant imagine john mocking you for anything!

TG: he said that me wearing the shades that he gave me for my thirteenth birthday and kept through hell and back was just one of my quirks

TG: you should see him when he is hanging out with mesmer

TG: *mermes

TG: prynne mermes

TG: the longer he hangs around her the worse he gets hits the first class jerk off level

TG: its not even ironic anymore

TG: on top of that he might be ill he keeps getting headaches and sleeping late in the mornings

GG: that does sound odd for john... :\

TG: yea but i cant figure out the source at all for the weirdness

GG: well... im sure that everything well turn out alright! dont worry about it too much!

TG: i hope so

TG: thanks for the chat harley

TG: im going to back to make good on my snuggles promise

GG: okay! good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite!

TG: great now i am going to have nightmares about bedbugs eating me alive as i sleep

TG: night harley

\--turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased chatting up gardenGnostic [ GG ]--


	39. Chapter 39

Everything goes back to normal (well as normal as our lives can get) until study night rolls around again. Thankfully it’s back down to just the cerulean troll.

“How can you guys have stuff to study already? The test was just last Friday,” I point out.

“We have had two classes since then so we want to keep on top of things of course. Especially since we did so pleasantly on the test.”

“Yea! We got our tests back and Prynne did really well. She got so excited that she pretty much tackle hugged me in class. Lifted me off the ground even!”

“I might have gotten a little carried away.” I glance over at Mermes and there is a soft blue blush across her cheeks.

“That’s alright, Prynne. I’m really proud of you too.” Egbert lays a companionable arm across her shoulders and beams down at her. “I even took her out for coffee in celebration.” Read hot jealousy flares up inside me. No, no. Calm down. She’s just a study partner. I’m his boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend.

“Cool. Then you guys get started with the next brain boggling chapters and I’ll start on dinner. No lamb chops, I promise,” I assure her as I get the foodstuffs out of the fridge.

“It was really a pleasant date.” I drop the vegetables loudly on the countertop. The cutting board and knives (and my nerves) rattle.

“Are you okay, Dave?” Egbert asks.

“Yea. Hands just slipped. This broccoli apparently doesn’t want to be eaten.”

“Okay then. Try not to cut off a finger! Come on, Prynne; let’s get started on studying before my headache gets any worse.”

The next time I glance over at them, they are sitting comfortably across the table from each other, looking over their books and notes. None of their esoteric terminology and concepts makes any sense to me. No wonder Egbert has a headache from all that crap.

I finish dinner up and distribute the cooked food onto three plates and bring it around to the table. At the smell of good food, the pair clears enough room for dinner. As we eat, I politely ask about Egbert’s day and politely listen as Prynne answers. That silly surge of jealousy comes back as she goes on about the pleasant little coffee shop that she didn’t know about before Egbert offered to take her there and how they serve these pleasant little scones that went terrifically with the coffee he bought her. All of my poker face training goes into refraining from throwing my food at her like I’m a three-year old having a tantrum. Egbert all the while is smiling like the idiot that he is.

As soon as he eats the last morsel of food, I quickly stand up and take the dishes into the kitchen to wash, looking for any excuse to get away from the painful awkwardness that only I seem to be aware of. They continue chatting about their day and week until Mermes brings up the topic of the anime date that she suggested.

“John, did you ever have the chance to check out that anime premiere I told you about.”

I glance up to see what his response would be. “Yea. I took Dave this weekend. It wasn’t that bad.” I am impressed at how straight faced he was able to say that. I guess my stoic poker face abilities have been rubbing off on him. But honestly it was so horrible that he really shouldn’t have to go to polite route. I don’t offer anything to the conversation though because it’s like as soon as I step away from the table I don’t exist.

* * *

“Hey Egbert! We are going clubbing this weekend!” I call out to the other room.

“Huh?”

“Yea check it. There is this club that’s been following me on my music posts and they have finally offered me a gig.” I exit my room and walk over to where Egbert is lounging on the couch. “I don’t know what took them this long to find their shame globes, hoist them up, and finally hit send on this email that is utterly gushing with praise and laudations as if they hadn’t already dumped enough onto each and every one of my posts. But hey they did and so I gotta put on a show Saturday night and I kinda sorta want you to come.” I finish in a soft mushy rush of words. He hasn’t even looked up from his book. “Or not. You don’t have to. I don’t even know if you’d like the club scene and we’re still underaged so we wouldn’t be able to drink. I mean I could probably get away with it as the DJ but you’re right that was a dumb idea. I’ll go away now.”

“Huh?” He finally looks up at me. “No, I’ll come.” He pauses for a moment. “What am I going to wear though?”

* * *

I may not be a fashion genius like Maryam, but I can make a man look good. I plead the fifth about checking his ass out as he leans over to help me move my equipment from the car into the club.

"Wow, these are heavy."

"Then it's a good thing I brought my handsome lug along." I reach in and grab the last few boxes of records and wires. Balancing them on my hip, I manage to close the trunk and follow him inside. The club looks pretty neat even empty and with the house lights on, but it's going to get better when it's dark and full and the beats are flowing out of the speakers. I pause again as I find Egbert bent over to put my stuff down. I am still staring when he straightens up and looks back at me. He smiles at me and walks over, taking the forgotten boxes out of my hands.

Sometimes when I’m not looking, it’s like Egbert gets dressed in the dark. Actually it gets so bad that it has to be on purpose. But when I get my hands on him... It’s not like he is wearing anything fancy. We found all of the parts of the outfit in his closet; a dark navy blue blazer over a stormy light blue tee shirt that just barely fits much to my enjoyment, slightly slouchy dark gray jeans tucked into bright blue Supras that someone got him last Christmas, one of my belts (I’m not sure why that was in his closet...), and of course that brilliant smile; but put together, they look amazing on him.

In return I let him help me decide on my own outfit. We ended up with a dark red fitted button down untucked over dark wash blue jeans. They aren’t skinny jeans but they are definitely a lot closer than Egbert’s. To accessorize I stole one of Egbert’s belts (to even things out), red Converse high tops, a dark red beanie, and of course my signature shades. I think he purposefully chose everything fitted.

I rouse myself from my reverie and start setting up the equipment. Egbert tries to help but mostly he just stands around slightly awkward as I hook up all the cords.

"I'm glad Prynne let me come to this," he said casually to break the silence.

"What the...?” I pause where I am crouched and look up over the tables. “Let you come?"

"Yea. We had already made plans to have a study date tonight,” he tells me as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"On a Saturday?"

"It was going to be pleasant and not heavy on the study. More casual!" And that just makes everything alright.

I sigh and continue connecting the wires. "She doesn't have to give you permission to do what you want on the weekends."

"Don't worry about it. She didn't mind. She was really pleasant about it.” Like I care about how she feels about it. “It was an extra thing anyways and she even told me to send you congratulations!" I ignore the sentiment and finish setting up. I run a couple tracks to get a feel for the echoes in the room and for how bad their sound system will mangle my beats. I shrug to myself when it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Bro must have played in some terrible venues for how much bitching he did after his gigs.

Satisfied, I turn to Egbert, “All done. The show doesn’t start until later so do you want to do grab a bite to eat? There has to be something close by.”

“Yea, that sounds good. Actually now that I think about it, Prynne told me of a good pizza place around here.”

“Are we really gonna trust her judgment again?” I ask him as I lock up the DJ booth with the key provided by the management.

“You can’t go wrong with a pizza joint!”

* * *

Once again Egbert is wrong. But he wants to give this dirty hole in the wall pizza joint a chance. I’m all for exploring the city’s hidden gems and being hipster with niche restaurants, but this place is no gem and it feels like a literal niche in an alley. The side walls are the brick facades of the neighboring buildings. The popcorn ceiling looks so old and dirty that I wouldn’t be surprised if it had been made with asbestos and I really don’t trust those places where it sags down a few inches. We seat ourselves at a booth with the fewest sags above our head. I internally cringe as I slide along the slimy red vinyl booths. Egbert outward grimaces as he accidently touches the greasy table top but tries to hide it with a fake smile.

We order from menus that had literally five items on it. Egbert lets me ramble on about what I am going to play tonight and how I think the crowds will react and how this really shouldn’t be my debut and it doesn’t feel like my debut because I’m not nervous or anything because the club asked me to play here and they wouldn’t have if they didn’t think the crowds would like what I got so there is nothing to be worried about. The pizza comes out swimming in its own grease with burnt crusts. It’s barely palatable but with the time constraints we make do.

If I get food poisoning from this, I’ll make sure Mermes is in as much pain as I am.


	40. Chapter 40

The night starts off slow, but then what club is hopping at eleven? By twelve the word apparently gets out about the awesome new DJ and the place is packed. The light show program matches the beats very well. My music flows with perfect timing (obviously) and with seamless transitions and overlays. I make the people dance to my beat. Song flows into song into a progression that I can build up or let down as I want and the crowd just drinks it all in a demands more. So I give them more as a finish one set and start on the next. I have my own dance routine going as I reach for records, as I slip them out of the covers, as I flip the old one up and lay down the new, as my hands go out to hover lightly over the tables, as I spin, as I control music. I am master of these tables as naturally as I was over the time tables. Half of this work is instinct, half is experience, and half is my coolness factor.

As I bring a currently popular song on, the club goes wild. Everyone is screaming for me and I am willing to give. I am having a really hard time keeping a shit eating grin off of my face, but thankfully I had a lot of painful coaching from Bro over my childhood. I think he would be proud of me if he could see me. At least John’s here.

Speaking of the derp, I look out of the balcony where I am set up. The dance floor is absolutely full, pushing all the way to the bars on either side of the room. But despite the crowd I’ll always be able to pick him out. It could be twice as big of an area and three times as dense and I’d be able to find him in a nanosecond.  I'm playing for him as much as I am for the rest of the club. I love watching him dance.

From his stint as a pianist he understands the beat and moves appropriately to it. I love watching how his hips follow the tempo, how his body sways to the music, how he reacts to what I choose to play. He leads the crowd, keeping them moving under my direction. He gorgeous. I want nothing better than to be in two places at once. Curse that game once more for taking my powers away. I want to be down there with my hands on those hips, grinding up on him, bodies pressing together, kissing him as we get swept on the beat...

I get so carried away that I nearly miss the next switch. Damn I have it bad for this boy. I have to concentrate on setting up the next set. It's one of my favorites that I've put together numerous times in my room. This was actually the one that pushed the club to invite me to play. I'm about three tracks in when I look up again. I do miss the cue for the change but I catch it on the next verse. I preemptively switch the set to the pre-recorded version because as much as I'd love to do this live, there is a bigger issue going on.

John had been doing pretty good dancing alone in the crowd. I had even seen him turn down some girls and even a troll dude, but apparently when you mix the two and present him with a troll girl and he'll jump all over that. I am faintly aware of my molars grinding together as I watch her grind against him. I catch glimpses on his hands on her waist. This isn't some polite pity dance, this is full on "dance with me like you are gonna fuck me" which is absolutely not okay. When the curly-horned bitch goes for the kiss without immediate disapproving reaction from him. I lose it. I don't stay to watch. I flashstep out of the booth and fight my way through the crowds to his last position. I grab him by the back of his shoulder and spin him around towards me. I barely register the shock on his face through my flood of unwanted emotions. I grab his wrist and drag him out of the crowd to an edge of the room that was somewhat clear last time I looked.

We clear the dancing mob, still unaware that the DJ is no longer actively controlling them. John stumbles as someone accidently knocks into him. I use the change of momentum to spin him around to pin him against the wall. I get right up into his face, using my slight advantage in height to make him look up at me. I shove my shades up to the top of my head.

“What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

“I was dancing. Isn’t that what you are supposed to be doing at a club?” I do not appreciate the snark in his tone.

“That was a little bit more than dancing, John." I'm practically growling. "It looked like it was getting a little flushed out there with that troll girl.”

“What? You mean you can have a troll on the side but I’m not even allowed to look at anyone else? Double standards much?” That catches me off guard.

“Troll on the side? Are you talking about Karkat? Are you fucking serious? We have a legitimate kismesis that developed over the three years I was trapped on a meteor and bored out of my fucking mind. I’ve kissed him once since you and I started dating and that’s when your brain took a vacation for over a week and rejected me to play videogames. Now I’m not against you having a kismesis because I’m not a fucking hypocrite but I don’t think that you hate any of the people out there enough to even register platonic hate. That looked like something different out there to me and I’m allowed to get a little jealous over it because last time I checked I was your fucking matesprit which makes you mine.” I push against him hard against the wall, my lips mashing against his. I feel his head connect with the concrete but I only feel a smidgen guilty underneath everything else. My hands wrap themselves in the front of his shirt, pulling him towards me as I press the rest of my body into him. There are five seconds of apparent shock where he doesn’t react. Five terrifying seconds that I start to fear the worst. Five horrifying seconds where my heart slows and stops.

Then he is kissing me back. His hands fist in my hair as he pulls us impossibly closer. His lips slide against mine and his tongue slips into my mouth, running over my teeth.

I devour him. I pour all of that fear from those five seconds, all of the jealously at watching him dance with someone else, all of my desire to dance with him, all of my love over the past six  years or so into this kiss. I press every fiber of my body against his. I want to make him mine right here against the wall of the club.

I lick and nip at his mouth until his lips are puffy and I can faintly taste blood. I then turn my attentions down his neck and ravage the soft skin above his hammering pulse. He tilts his head back and offers more room for me to work. I suck and worry the skin until I know that there is a bright bruise, a mark, my mark. I hear his gasps and mewls over my music as he breathes past my ear. I roll my hips into his and feel him arch off the wall to press back against me. I move a hand to his waist and keep him arched like that as I work a leg in between his until my thigh is rubbing against his crotch. His hands scrabble at my back. I can feel where his fingernails would be scraping against my skin even through my shirt. Eventually his grip catches as he braces himself against my grinding.

He’s panting and murmuring my name when some small part of my brain not dedicated to reducing John to a jellified mess against the wall recognizes that the set is on its second to last song. I have to get back up to the booth and actually do my job. When I take a step away from him, he falls forward, barely able to support himself even with his hold on my shirt. I support him until he recovers his legs.

“I gotta go back upstairs and you are coming with me.”

I grab his hand and push through the crowds again without waiting for a response. I push aside several people standing at the booth door who respond with pouts or knowing looks as I drag Egbert in and close the door behind me. I throw him against the back of the door with a thud and follow it up with another passionate kiss. He is quicker to respond this time, but I have to pull away all too soon to get the next set of songs ready to go. I transition from pre-recorded to live performance smoothly and I get the next set going. I go for one that doesn’t have as much flair required on my end but I’m sure the club will still love it. At the first break I look over at where Egbert is still leaning up against the door.

Pulling my headphones off I ask him, “You okay?” He nods. “Then come over here.” I follow up the command with a flick of my head. As he walks over, I pick up my spare headphones plug them into the second jack and hand them to him. He looks at them blankly for a second and then pulls them on as I make the next transition. I see him relax a little bit as the music works itself into his brain. My hands are free again so I use them to position him behind me. I lean lightly into his chest until he picks it up and settles himself against me. His thumbs hook onto my belt loops as his hands rest lightly on my hips. He moves with me as I make the next changeover and work my magic on the tables.

It isn’t as heavy as dancing downstairs would be but it’s nice to have him this close to me. Especially after the recent events. I might have overreacted, but I’ve come to realize that there are just some things about me that just are and will happen and being overzealous with anything concerning Egbert is one of them.

As I finish that set and move onto the next I finally let myself relax into the music as he did earlier. He seems to notice the change because he pulls me slightly closer to him and I can feel his lips brushing the back on my neck. I add a little more flourish to the tracks. His smile presses into the soft skin above my collar. I lift the mood of the club up to a frenzy where the bass is pumping loud and hard and probably setting the tempo for every dancer's heartbeat. Egbert grinds playfully against my ass, and then freezes up.

I glance over my shoulder at him and catch the deep frown on his face. "Hey, are you alright?"

He shakes his head slowly. "Headache. Bad one."

I push the head phone off of his ears. "Okay, let me wrap this up and then I'll take you home okay?" He nods softly. I return to the music and start bringing the club back down. As I finish the set, I can almost feel the club take a collective breath at the reprieve. I make my announcement that I enjoyed playing for them, that they were great tonight, to look up my website if they wanted any more cool sounds to flood their puny minds, yadda yadda yadda. There are many cheers and pleas to keep playing but none can sway me over my choice to tend to Egbert. I flip on a generic club playlist and then sit Egbert down on a nearby stool. He’s still frowning with his eyes closed against the headache. I kiss him gently on the forehead and then start taking down my stuff, tucking it away neatly in the boxes I brought it in with.

There is a light knock on the door before the club manager comes in. She congratulates me on a great show and hands me a check with a larger number than we bargained for over email. I thank her profusely and explain why I am leaving early. She understands and offers me a date next month to come back for another show and a promise to make it a more regular thing. Internally I am buzzing like crazy, but outwardly I coolly accept the offer with a casual nonchalance. The manager fangirls for a moment before catching sight of my stuff. She offers to get one of the bouncers to come help carry it out.

“I’d appreciate it.”

* * *

I leave my stuff in the car when I pull up to the apartment, more concerned with getting Egbert inside before he faceplants into the concrete. As heavily as he is leaning on me, I opt for the deathtrap, I mean elevator to get us up to our floor. He’s no longer grimacing against the headache but he is still only sleepily returning my kisses as I press them to his face to distract myself from the shuddering mechanics of the elevator. We get to his room with only a couple foot dragging stumbles. He lets me undress him and take his glasses from him before he falls into bed. I am about to duck out of the room after turning off the light when I hear a soft, “Wait. Stay?”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” I quickly tour the apartment to lock up and turn off everything before returning to him. I strip out of my clothes and fall into bed next to him. In the darkness, he reaches out to me and pulls me close. I work around him to get into a comfortable position with my arm around his back and his head resting on my shoulder. I kiss the top of his hair. “Is your head feeling okay?”

“Better.”

“Sorry for knocking it.”

“Yea, what was that all about?”

I sorta freeze up, not really wanting to ask point blank. Or really, not wanting the bad answer to the question that’s been on my mind since I saw him dancing with someone else. I swallow hard and decide to risk it because knowing is better than second guessing, right?

“Did you kiss that troll girl you were dancing with?”

“What? No. Of course not.” I relax just a bit.

“She really wanted to kiss you.”

“Well can you blame her?” That was not the answer I particularly wanted to hear.

“I’m not going to blame her. She’s not the one with a boyfriend.”

“Bluh, I wasn’t going to let her kiss me.” He pauses and lets the silence fall between us. Then he starts again, “Is that really what stirred you up?”

“Yea. I might have gotten a bit jealous.”

“A bit?”

“Don’t let girls kiss you.”

“It would take a lot to let that happen, especially with such an over protective, jealous Dave ready to take them out.”


	41. Chapter 41

After dinner Egbert and Mermes (she’s wearing bright red again today) get back to studying like usual. Content to rot my brain in a less painful method than their chosen route, I flop down on the couch and boot up a video game. I’m not even halfway through the first level when I hear a petulant, “Dave, would you mind turning that down? It’s really distracting.”

“Sure, Mermes.” I mute the sound which is a pretty big handicap for this type of game but hey, I’m just that good that I can still play on and make all the whiny preteen brats who attempt to play run crying to their mommies.

I’m just about to start the next round when there is another, “I’m sorry, Dave, but it is still distracting.”

“The volume is on mute. Any less and it would be sucking the sound out of this room.”

“It’s not the sound, of course.” I don’t even have to look back to know she is rolling her eyes at me. “The flashing lights on the screen are bothering me.”

“Dave, why don’t you just hang out in your room like usual?” Egbert pipes up.

“Just trying to work through the allergies, you know.”

“Seriously, Dave, distracting Prynne is just unpleasant.”

“Fine.” I shut down the console. “I’ll see you tomorrow if you aren’t too busy with Prynne.” Without waiting for a response, I flashstep to my room and close the door a little harder than I probably should have, but I honestly felt like making a statement. I feel like sulking around, wallowing in my jealousy over a stupid classmate. Jegus I need to get over myself. I flop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling trying to figure out what the hell I’ve done to fuck things up like this.

* * *

It’s only eight twenty seven when Egbert comes into my room after his study dat- the study session. I hadn’t moved from my spot and I hadn’t come up with any answers for myself either. “You are done early.” I don’t even sit up to talk to him.

“Yea, I told Prynne that I should probably see why you’re upset. And my headaches were getting worse.”

“Who says I’m upset?” Of course I am upset.

“Um... maybe the way you fucking absconded out of the living room after dinner?”

“Just wanted to get out of her way.”

“Dave, what’s going on?” He comes over and sits down on the edge of my bed.

“You tell me, John.” I don’t stop staring at this spot on the ceiling that I should probably look into because if it’s a fucking leak from above then it’s going to be a real bitch to clean up if it breaks all the way through not to mention all of the shit that would get damaged by the water gushing everywhere like my laptop or my tables...

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t.” Is he serious?

“What the fuck, Dave? Stop being so unpleasant and just tell me what is going on?”

“I’m being unpleasant?” I repeat in disbelief. “You have been a top grade asshole to me. And it’s worse when you are around Prynne like you are showing off how much of a fucking jerk you can be. It’s like you are trying to impress her with some alpha male routine. I don’t like her and I don’t like what she is doing to you. It’s like Vriska’s influence on you all over again. And you seem to be totally oblivious to it too.”

“That’s not what is going on. You don’t have to save me from the troll, Dave.” Cue eye roll, audible in his voice. “She’s pleasantly harmless. Not like Vriska at all. I don’t always have to be saved.”

I finally sit up and look directly at him. “So I’m just making all of this up. It’s not her fault at all, right?”

“She has nothing to do with it. She’s just a pleasant friend.”

“Seems she’s moved up from study partner to friend. When are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend? Because obviously I’ve fallen from that spot.”

“What the hell, Dave? Why would you say that?”

“You aren’t even denying it.”

“This is crazy.”

“You’re telling me. I’m getting jealous over another rocks-for-brains, blue-blooded bitch-” I don't have the time nor distance to dodge, but I think even if I did I wouldn't have expected it. I bring my hand up to where my cheek is stinging. The look of horror on John's face is more tragic than when I told him we were going to eat the fish at that restaurant we went to for our first date, more tragic than when I was talking about making little troll kids into food while he was trying to be seductive, maybe even worse than when we first saw Lord English. Okay nothing is that bad but shit...

I don’t say anything as I climb out of bed around him, only having to shrug off his hand once. I slip my shoes on, grab my shades, keys, and wallet, and get to the front door. John is following behind me like a shadow.

“I’ll be back later tonight.”

* * *

I guess I didn’t really need my keys as I end up on the roof. I sit at the edge with my legs dangling off and my arms crossed on the railing at chest height. The city lights sparkle mutely behind the tinted glass of my shades. A light breeze picks at my hair.  I can feel the blood pulsing in my cheek. Something's wrong and I don't know how to fix it.

I lean back, resting my weight on my hands. I ignore how the rough surface digs into my palms. It's actually very familiar and comforting. My shades slip up as my head falls back revealing the stars that we created. Even as gods we can't fix everything.

My thoughts drift back to before the game. Things were a lot simpler. Living with Bro wasn't that bad. The strifes were rough but really helped out in the game. He taught me a lot of shit too. I didn't quite understand the ironic shtick just as I don't fully understand Dirk's, but he was a cool guy despite the surprise smuppet piles to the face. Saved my ass from a fucking giant asteroid by fucking cutting it in fucking half. Bought me time by trying to take on Noir with my creamsicle alternate. He fucking died for me. Too bad he couldn't be here to see this world we've made. Too bad he couldn't be here to give me advice.

I should have grabbed a jacket. I'm tempted to call someone but I've run through my mental list of contacts. I know what each one of them would say and none of it is helpful. And it would be too much to explain it to a stranger. Shit this is messed up. What do I do? What can I do?

* * *

It’s late when I finally go back inside. I’m very careful not to make any noise as I open the door. The lights are still on. He’s curled up on one end of the couch. He probably tried to wait up for me. I duck into my room and bring out a blanket, carefully wrapping it around his shoulders. His phone is laying next to him and I use it to set the alarm to get up in time for his class tomorrow. I am not really surprised to see that Lalonde is at the top of his recently called list. It was the screen that was up when I unlocked his phone. I hope they figured everything out.

* * *

Egbert of course wakes me up with his usual noisy morning routine. I just curl up under the covers and stare at the wall. There is a pause. I can tell that he is standing just outside of my room. I wait. I hope. I don’t quite know what I am hoping for, but I feel slightly disappointed when he turns away from my door and leaves the apartment. I try to go back to sleep but mostly I just stare at the wall for the next three hours.

Finally my alarm goes off. I get up and get through my morning routine. There is a note on the kitchen counter taped to a bottle of apple juice.

im sorry. like really really sorry. i dont know what happened. i cant even remember what we were fighting about now. isnt that silly? dave, im so sorry. can we talk after class? - john

I grab a pen from the junk drawer, flip over the note and write my reply.

sure we will talk over dinner ill pick up some shitty chinese -dave

I tape the note back to the unopened apple juice. I pack up my camera and head out for my photography class.

* * *

Everything I take a picture of is blue.

* * *

I wasn’t there when he got out of class. I was heading to the alter-earth equivalent to cheap chinese. From discussions with Pyrope, I know some things are universal and I guess white styrofoam boxes filled with greasy, fried, questionable food is another constant. I order the usual meal combination that Egbert and I are used to. I tell the staff not to hurry and take a seat in the cheaply decorated lobby. I’m always amused with how tacky it is. They tried to make it as stereotypical as possible but bought everything from the local super mart. Some of the trinkets still have the price tags on them when I pick them up. I help them out a little and while the time away peeling those white ripping stickers off. I thank the host when he brings the meal out in plastic bags. I pay for the food and of course tip well before gathering everything up and heading out.

The walk is a little long especially with two armfuls of food but the weather is nice. Just starting that crisp autumn chill that only happened at the peak of winter back in Houston. Bro and I would strife like crazy that time of year I think just to be outside and enjoy the weather. Now it means that Egbert will be breaking out the hot cider and hot chocolate soon because he actually knows how to handle the cold. That first winter here, once Egbert stopped laughing like a maniac, he had to help me handle winter clothes because LOFAF was actually the first time I had seen snow and for some reason the game didn’t make it as wet, cold, and nasty as the real stuff. (Though building that first snowman with John after figuring out gloves and coats and snow boots might have been worth trudging around in the slick white crap that turned my nose bright red and shrunk my junk. He smiled so brightly at the end product.) I still don’t like the cold but it’s tolerable and this autumn stuff is perfectly fine for now.

Just as my fingers start losing circulation from the handles of the plastic bags I reach the apartment. Jegus. Why do we have to live of the thirteenth floor again?

The food makes it to the top despite many temptations just to chuck the ballast over the railing. My hands are sore as I switch both bags to one and fumble the keys into the lock with the other. The door opens to a lit but quiet apartment. I temporarily drop the bags onto the table and then slip off my shoes, put my keys and wallet on the front hall table, and hang my jacket on the back of the chair. I swing by the kitchen to grab two cups of soda and some silverware. I grab the bags of food with the other hand and move everything to the coffee table. Finally I plop down next to a silent Egbert. He sets aside a pen and pad of paper.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you. But what do you mean you can’t remember?” I hand him his order of general Tso’s. I pull out the sweet and sour cluckbeast and pour the sugary sauce over the crispy pieces and side of fried rice with abandon.

“I can’t remember what we were talking about. I called Rose because I was scared and I didn’t want a repeat of last time and she asked me what happened and I couldn’t tell her. I mean I forgot within minutes of what happened. It’s like my brain panicked and shit itself and dumped all of the information out the window. I remember being really concerned about you then getting really angry and then I hit you. Why did I hit you, Dave?” He sounds really panicky.

“We were arguing about Prynne.” I start digging into my food.

“I hit you over that?”

I grunt in response.

“Rose did her Seer thingy. Or at least as much as she still is able to. She said that I was cloudy, which given the fact I was really confused about what just happened makes sense. She said it was more than that because she could also feel my confusion.”

I swallow my mouthful of food. “Cloudy, huh? With a chance of lightning strike apparently.”

“This isn’t funny, Dave.”

I shrug and take another bite of food. Egbert gives in and starts in on his food. I reach over and snag an eggroll, crunching thoughtfully. I wonder briefly if I’ll get hit again tonight.

“It’s not like you take anything I say seriously.” That gets him sputtering around that last piece of chicken.

“What makes you say that? I take everything you say seriously!” I give him a sideways glance complete with a raised eyebrow over my shades. “Okay maybe not that last sentence or your marathon metaphors or when you act completely goofy.”

“Or when I bring up concerns about my boyfriend and this weirdness going on with Prynne. You were dismissing it pretty hard last night like you were the school bell and it was classroom full of children on their last day of school for summer and they weren’t ever planning to come back and you weren’t going to let them because you blew up the school as soon as they left the building.”

“Marathon metaphors.”

“You’re changing the subject. Seriously, why are you denying the weirdness?”

“I’m not denying the weirdness! Otherwise I wouldn’t be here groveling at your feet over what happened this night.”

He gets another glance. “This is groveling?”

“Not the point. The point is, why do you keep blaming Prynne?”

“Because she is the only common denominator I can come up with for all of the shit that’s gone down this semester. Unless I have done something that you haven’t told me about.” I wait a beat for any suggestions. “Or are we just gonna chalk this up as this season’s Egbert forecast is cloudy?”

“I don’t know, Dave.”

“Do me a favor then and pay attention to the weirdness and try to figure out the cause so that we don’t have to do this awkward talk thing again. It really ruins the goodness of cheap chinese take-out.”

“I think the gallon of syrup you just poured over the top of it ruins any goodness it might possibly have had even if it was actual chicken. And I’ll try to pay attention to it, especially when Prynne is around if it will make you feel better.”

“You just thoroughly insulted Golden Mother by insinuating that this might be something different than its advertised fresh organic free-range cluckbeast.” I pop another piece in my mouth to spite him. “And I’d rather her not even come over. Maybe do a reverse hypothesis. If weirdness still occurs without Prynne then maybe it isn’t her.”

“We have to study together. It’s part of my grade.”

“Fine. But I’m serious about this.”


	42. Chapter 42

It’s Thursday again. I know she’s at the apartment again because it’s study night again. I preempted any awkwardness by getting out of the apartment before they came over. I made Egbert promise to have her out by nine. That shouldn’t be that hard with the way his head aches have been affecting him. I’m currently scoping the third record shop in the city, looking for new stuff to bring to the show in three weekends. There are two more I want to hit after this one, and I really hope I don’t find a baby on a meteor at either of them. So far I’ve been lucky, but with Strider history, one can never be too sure.

* * *

It’s just after nine when I get back to the apartment with hands full with bags of records. There was a good mix of human and troll music that want to add to my collection. Between all of the players, we kept a good chunk music from our individual planets before our cultures were meshed together. I can’t use too much of that before people start asking awkward questions but I like to slide a gem or two into my work.

Stairs, so many damn stairs, gog! But I’m actually excited about organizing these into my collection so when I get to the door. I bump the handle with my hip because I really don’t feel like shifting everything in my arms to try to get my keys out of my pocket and cool the door is unlocked. I maneuver into a tricky position to turn the knob without using hands. Thank gog no one is on the hall to see this mess. It honestly would look like I am humping and grinding on the door. Jegus. Get some shame, Strider. Finally the door gives and I only stumble in a half step but gracefully I turn that into a spin to get inside and kick the door closed behind me. Haha!

The first thing I notice is that weird goose bump feeling and that sense of intrusion which is stupid because I can’t intrude on my own apartment. I turn away from the door and towards the main area.

Crash! Crack!

This can’t be right.

No no no.

This isn’t what is supposed to happen.

This can’t possibly be happening.

I can only see their heads but I can assume how they are sitting because I think I’ve been in that position.

Back in spring, if unconventional just ki-

No no no.

It’s fall not spring and she’s not me.

It’s all wrong.

I feel sick. I feel faint. I don’t think I’m breathing. I can’t breathe because she has stolen my Breath.

Why? Why why why? Why is he kissing her?

They finally stop and both turn to look at me.

“Oh. Hi, Dave.” He sounds normal. How can he sound normal when things are obviously not normal?

“You better explain yourself. You biggest complaint in those silly rom coms is that they aren’t ever given enough time to explain themselves even when the explanation is really simple or really short and so because this explanation has to be the silliest, most ridiculous thing in this universe, across multiple universes I am going to give you that chance to explain what the fuck I just walked in on. Just tell me it isn’t what I think it is.”

“He doesn’t want to be your matesprit.”

Time stops. I can feel the gears grind to a halt. I want to pummel her, I want to beat her into blue jelly, I want to kill her, I want to knock her across the room. John would probably stop me when he really shouldn’t because it wasn’t Karkat being a dumb jackass this time. John should stop her. John should be saying something. Wait. He can’t say something because time is stopped. I take a deep breath and time shudders forward.

“I don’t want to hear from you, bitch. I want to hear it from him.” One, two, three, four... He’s not saying anything. Ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen... He’s not even doing that floundering thing where his mouth opens and closes, but he can’t seem to find his voice. Twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine... There isn’t any indication that he even heard me. Thirty two, thirty three, thirty four... Nothing. He’s not saying anything. Thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty nine... John. John. John. Forty one, forty two, forty three... oh god... forty five, forty six, forty sev- “You have five minutes. I’ll be in my room.”

This can’t be right I have to be having some waking nightmare this is a hallucination I am making stuff up but why would I make that up like some sort of left over post traumatic stress disorder as Rose would classify because nothing is making sense and it hasn’t for a while because I must have lost my mind that’s the only explanation to all of this fucking bullshit because it can’t be true can’t be real can’t be happening I can’t be falling my feet are on the fucking ground actually they are moving around my room I have to be dreaming right which means all this is all a dream that this duffle bag isn’t real that these clothes are just memories fabricated into my subconscious sleeping mind and there I go sounding like fucking Rose again but Rose said that he was just cloudy with a chance for lightning strike no wait I said that because he fucking hit me over calling her a bitch but he didn’t even move when I call her a bitch this time didn’t say anything isn’t coming in here to say anything even though he only has two minutes and fifty five four three seconds left he doesn’t like it when I time him but I can’t fucking turn it off because I am time I am constantly time I am constant I constantly love him but he is wind and wind isn’t constant and winds shift he’s shifted and she’s fucking shifted him but mind and heart aren’t my things that’s Rezi and Bro and the cat girl where I am time so I think it’s time I got out of here and be not fucking constant for once but how do I not be me how do I not love him can’t can’t can’t think about that right now because it makes me not able to see because there is something in my eyes something in front of my eyes dark glass isn’t making things fucking fuzzy must be something else besides the shades keep or toss because he gave them to me but he doesn’t want me anymore but I still want him I still want them so keep but laptop is a toss or at least leave behind not touching that but shoes I’ll need fucking shoes

I am only minimally aware of my actions as I walk pace stalk around my room. The bag in my hand is slowly getting heavier but not by much because I am not taking my important stuff with me. My important stuff is too heavy and will weigh me down. Though it really doesn’t matter I guess when I am already at the bottom. After my sixth pass through the room I am not adding anything else to the bag. It’s not even heavy enough to have the handles cut into my hand. I check my pockets absently and find that I still have my phone, wallet, and keys. Well that’s handy. I stand still in the middle of my room as long as I possibly can stand because this is the last chance I have to be saved. But I can feel myself crumbling breaking shattering splintering at the edges as that clock in my head counts down.

Forty seven seconds in the living room. Four minutes and thirteen seconds in my room. One minute twenty six seconds on the fire escape. Fifteen seconds to cross the parking lot. Three seconds to slip into the car. Seven seconds before my phone starts going off.

As I pull out of the parking lot, I take a glance at the screen.

TT: Dave, what just happened?

TT: What is going on?

TT: Why am I crying?

I block her number and drive to the nearest bank. I make an automatic withdrawal of more than enough cash to get me through the next couple weeks even if I splurge a lot.

TG: i dont want you to find me

TG: i wanna disappear for a while and ill come back when i am ready

TG: just dont look for me

TG: then gett rid o ur ohone

TG: k

TG: thx

I take her advice and turn off my phone, rip out the battery, and chuck all the pieces into the nearest trashcan.

* * *

At the highway interchange I point the car east. My Alpha version went west to make a name for himself. I want to do the opposite.


	43. Chapter 43

Three days four hours five minutes and I reach the ocean. I’m tempted to just keep driving but I can’t. The salt would hurt the car.

* * *

Five days twelve hours twenty six minutes and I duck into a grocery store for breakfast. It seems they have a decent bakery section here. Bear claws, haven’t had those since my first day of school. Bro really went all out for me didn’t he.

* * *

Eight days three hours seven min- stop it stop it stop it. I do not count the time. I just waste it away. I do not count the time. I just waste it away.

* * *

Eleven days. I wonder what it would take to surf.

* * *

Fourteen days. The fish doesn’t taste any fresher even when I just saw it practically jump out of the ocean and onto the fire. What the heck.

* * *

Sixteen days five hours fifty six minutes and I have a nightmare. That fucking dog. I knew something was wrong with it even before the game started. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. God damn it. Bloody fucking hell. Stop it. Just stop it. I lived that hell once, I don’t need to keep going back. Fuck.

* * *

Nineteen days. The cracks in the ceiling almost make a picture. I can fill in the blanks with my head but then the picture keeps changing. I could fix that. There is a pen on the desk and if I stand on the bed I can reach the ceiling. I can fix the drawing. I can fix this. Can’t fix that. Can’t fix this. I’d probably screw it up anyways. Why try anymore. Just gonna lay here and do nothing. I’ll probably even fuck that up cause that’s the only thing I can do.

* * *

Twenty three.

* * *

Twenty six.

* * *

Twenty eight.

The sand is warm on my bare feet as I dig them into the soft whiteness of the dune. The steady roar of the ocean is a perfect background noise to the blank slate of my mind. I watch the seagulls ride the ---- and then settle as a flock on the stretch in front of me until some little kid chases them up again. The mom of the kid catches up and eyes me with distant concern but honestly she can’t tell where I am looking. I mean that’s the point of my shades right? To hide me from the sun, to hide me from others, to hide...

There is a ship crossing just in front of the horizon. It looks so small and tiny but I know it’s just so far away. If it was closer then I could be crushed underneath it but way out there I can just watch it passively go on by. It can’t hurt me that far away. The clouds drift along, sand castles get swept away, birds land and fly on too. Everything comes and goes except the ocean. The ocean is as constant as I am. It’s rhythm has synced with the ticking. Or have the chimes synced with the waves? It’s nice.

I take a deep ------, my lungs expanding and pushing against my shirt. The fabric is nicely warmed by the afternoon sun. Feels good. I lift the flask to my lips and let the cool liquid rush down my throat. Good contrast to the warm. It’s nice turning off my brain and focusing only on the physical sensations. Forces me to be more aware of the texture of my jeans, of the ------ as it brushes against my skin and plays with my hair, of the coolness under my butt where I’ve blocked the sand from getting any light since early morning. Watching the sun rise over the ocean was nice again this morning.

This was a very quiet section of the beach. I have only seen a handful of joggers in addition to the kid and her mom today.

“The fuckin’ Auto Responder was right. Imagine that.”

I take another sip from the flask. Still cold. Technology is amazing, isn’t it? Millions of dollars spent on figuring out how to keep beach drinks cold.

“Drinkin’ your sorrows away isn’t going to work.”

I cap it and let it dangle from my fingertips as I continue to watch the ocean.

“We’ve all been lookin’ for ya. Well all a us except Rox a course. Since apparently ya asked her not to.”

I’ll probably sleep in the car again tonight. I really don’t like the seedy motels in this area even if they are the only ones that don’t require an ID for the room. Maybe further south will be better. Or north. How far north have I been?

“But the rest a us were charged with findin’ your fuckin’ ass.”

I unscrew the top and take another swing.

“Seriously. Ya better stop that. Ya might be Rox’s genetic kid but you’re better than that.”

The flask is suddenly missing from my hands. Without moving my head I catch a glimpse of him sniffling its contents.

“Apple juice? Not even spiked apple juice.” There is some shifting and then a soft thump as he sits down next to me. “So what are ya doin’ out here anyways?”

“Trying not to be.” My voice is kinda scratchy from a recent lack of use.

“Well that’s pretty stupid.” He pauses and gives me a sidelong glance. “Wait, ya aren’t plannin’ a killin’ yourself, are ya?”

I shake my head. “That would hurt him too badly.”

“You mean John, don’t ya? He’s hurtin’ pretty badly as it is right now though.”

I cringe and fight the shivers. The sun is warm. The sand is warm. The ocean is constant.

“Why are ya out here?”

“Because.”

“That’s a little kid answer,” he replies almost as petulantly.

“Because I don’t want to go back, don’t want to talk to John, don’t want to give him a chance because if I do, I will take him back in a heartbeat and just start the whole painful process over again.” It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t hurt... much.

“Isn’t worth it? Isn’t havin’ those few happy moments worth all a the pain? I mean I’m just speakin’ from experience because I screwed up royally by giving up.” And I know what that landed him. I saw the blood stains on the ground and on Kanaya right after Lalonde and I showed up on the meteor. His scar goes around his waist completely. Gamzee did something with the body. I wonder briefly if the one sitting next to me is the same or if I should just assume Sburb’s shitty shenanigans. I really shouldn’t think too hard on it.

“Already had those happy moments. I can live off of those. The pain now is just this dull throbbing ache where my heart is supposed to go. It’s tolerable.”

The silence falls uncomfortably between us.

“Looking back... it was just getting worse. It only hurt a little to just be his friend instead of his. And then the doldrums episode. I thought he didn’t like me anymore. I was scared but it didn’t hurt that much. Then the car crash where he was angry at me. That really scared me, and it hurt when he walked out of that hospital room, but we got over that too. And then he walked out again and left me to the nightmares, the cold, and the brokenness. That was truly painful. That was terrifying. And then I walked in on-” My voice cuts out. I honestly can’t ------- for a moment. Then finally my lungs remember how to work. Ampora doesn’t say anything. There is an itch on my cheek. It feels like the sand being blown up by the ---- is sticking to something on my face. It’s getting harder to see. “Everything before that pales in comparison. That was my world shattering down around me. Based on the progression, if I let it happen again... it would kill me. So I’m perfectly alright just hiding. He can’t hurt me here and I can’t hurt him. I just keep it far far away. Things are smaller when they are farther away...” The ship I had been watching is barely visible on the horizon it’s so far away. “I’d appreciate it if you just left now.” I slip back into the apathetic barely being I’ve nearly perfected.

“Sure.” But he makes no movements to leave.

We hear a buzz between us and since it can’t be my phone I wait as Ampora pulls his out. I calculate what it would take to knock his phone away, knock him out, how far I can get with my tank of gas. But it doesn’t seem like he is calling anyone. He’s texting.

“Well, actually that might be a bit harder to do now.” He tilts his phone towards me so I can see it.

CA: startin todays search noww

AR: You are starting at Sea Short Drive. Let me know how far you get today.

CA: i knoww the drill

CA: i havve been doin this for a wweek

AR: Just keep doing it. I know he’ll be somewhere over there. Despite was Dirk thinks.

CA: sure

AR: It seems you have stopped. Did you find him?

CA: no

CA: just a good seashell

AR: Tell him to come home.

CA: i told you i didnt find him

AR: Just give him Vriska’s message.

CA: i dont knoww wwhy you think i havve found him

AR: You haven’t moved yet. No seashell is that interesting.

I am still considering bailing but at least it seems like Ampora really was going to let me go. “I should get going.”

“Actually there is somethin’ else.”

“Don’t want to hear it.” I push myself up to my feet, brushing the sand off of my ass.

“John was brainwashed.”

“I checked on that. Serket said it didn’t work.” I start walking towards my car.

“Vris is a talentless hack.” He scrambles to his feet to follow me. “Mind control needs a delicate touch. She wielded her powers like a fuckin' sledge hammer. The Scourge Sisters did some research.” We pass through the dune grass that bends backwards as it’s being tugged on by the ----. “There was an old famous case about psychic trolls using their powers to influence a large group a humans to follow them as a cult. It was widely believed this also happened in ancient civilizations too. But this type a stuff was school fed to young children as a warnin’ against psychic trolls. If someone like Vris uses her power bluntly then it just makes humans fall asleep an trolls space out. But used gently on humans, well, they can be brainwashed into believing subtle changes. It usually takes exposures over weeks. The symptoms include headaches, exhaustion, irritability, change in behavior, excessive sleepin’, an confusion about people. She must have figured out that John didn’t know about that from our home school feedin’ story.” I reach my car. My fists are clenched tight. My jaw aches.

"That's a pretty fanciful story you guys have concocted. Thought those details out well."

"I'm not lyin', Dave."

"It's just so convenient that I am proven right after all this shit."

"Well sorry for us takin' so long to put together all a the pieces but it was new for all a us."

"I... I don't know if I can believe this."

"She's being fuckin' prosecuted for forcible mental control."

"With what fucking evidence?” I blow up at him. “I had to put up with enough legal bullshit from Pyrope to know that evidence is required, but mental mind fucking doesn't leave fingerprints."

"Your chat logs pointing out symptoms. Your testimony over what happened. Her diary recordin' her plans including accounts of her stalkin' ya at a theater and a club. She gets pretty intense in some parts. Scary bitch. Oh, an Aradia got a confession."

"You got hold of her fucking diary? Now I know this is all bullshit."

"It was sittin' a her computer's desktop. It conveniently was ‘accidently’ posted to the police forum."

"Roxy."

"Can't say anythin' about its source but it's got her quirk all over it an when the police went to pick up her frozen computer, it was sittin' all nice an pretty for the prosecution. Along with a pretty complete an utterly creepy shrine to John."

I don’t know where to direct all of this anger. It would be so easy just to blame Prynne and be done with it, but there are a lot more layers to it. I did call it and was ignored. I had to be fully betrayed before being vindicated. "Get in the car. I need a real drink."

"Yea, you’re goin' to need it."

* * *

We ended up in a shady beach bar used to beach goers 'losing' their licenses. I got the strongest beer on tap, Devil's Brew. I was in the middle of my third before I let him start again. "’ell me from the ‘op."

"As I hear it, when Rose called John to figure out what happened that set off an emotional blast on her Seer sonar, he wasn't makin' much sense, sayin' shit like ya were jealous that he got Prynne, but at the same time he kept tellin' her that his heart hurt an he didn't know where ya were. Rose opened a memo to find the nearest team an it so happened Tav an Ara were at Homebase. They went to check a John an when Prynne introduced herself as his girlfriend, Ara punched her lights out. Tav talked to John an recognized the signs of mind fuckin' as ya called it from when Vris did him.

"That’s when Rezi did some legal research to find the historical precedent. After that, everything came together. Rox did her hacker shit, Jade had your chat log about irritability, Vris had your log on psychic powers, Ara worked out getting a confession from Prynne, an then we started lookin' for ya. Dirk thought you would have gone west since your other self did. AR guessed east. Sol monitored electronics since Rox refused. An then I found ya."

I’m still skeptical over it all, but honestly it’s pretty convincing. It was amusing that Team Charge got to come to the rescue again. And that bit about Megido punching her for telling lies warmed my heart. My brows furrow down because as much as I like everyone, that’s not who I want to hear about. "Wha' 'bou' John's brain?"

"We think he’s mostly back to normal now. It's been a couple weeks away from Prynne. We think she somehow managed to make him believe you two were just roommates."

That hurts. That twists my heart so deeply that it’s no surprise when beads of salty liquid drip off my chin and onto the table. "Tha's bullshee an we all know ish."

"It was really deep in his head. She messed with him really bad. It's been fuckin' hell getting him back. That last push messed him up bad. Vris an Tav have been coachin' him back to normal, but it would help if ya came back."

Anger and hurt swirl around my head. My stomach hurts. My heart hurts. My head hurts. I hurt. "He forgo' 'bou' us. How?" I plead over the top of the glass. I can’t even see Ampora across the table anymore.

"She messed with his head. Pretty well thoroughly. She apparently started messin’ with Sgrub stuff because she didn’t know it was in there. Brin’in’ him out has triggered some nasty nightmares for him. Bein’ memories an shit. A lot dealin’ with you happened durin’ that time too. We think she tried diggin’ into that.”

“Take me home. Take me back to him.”


	44. Chapter 44

I don’t remember most of the car ride that first night with the drinking I had been doing. Mostly I know that Ampora bundled my drunk, sobbing ass into the passenger seat of my car and started driving home.

We picked up some food when I finally came back around. I took over driving when Ampora got tired. We traded out in order to keep driving constantly. We made it back to the city in record time from the east coast. I might have been pushing the speed limit a little. A lot. Might have been going so fast that the cops didn’t even try to catch me.

Eridan is driving the last stretch. I don’t know if I could have handled the car with the way that my hands are shaking. He’s not even all the way stopped at the front door before I am leaping out of the car. I really didn’t need stairs with the way that I flew up those thirteen flights. A record time for me. I pause at our door though. I am terrified. I know it’s going to hurt. And it’s going to hurt bad. But I know it’s going to be a healing hurt which I can stand. I’ve withstood so much more for him. Jegus, it’s not just my hands that are shaking. I’m staring at those gold numbers on our door. I’m staring at the handle. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Fu-

The door opens.

“Dave.”

“La- Rose.” I take a deep breath. “He’s here right? Ampora said that he was but what does he know. He would have said anything to get me here. He said a lot to get me here. And we went pretty fast to get here, like probably way too fast. But hey I am here now, aren’t I? The prodigal son returns. What does that mean anyways? It’s some biblical term, isn’t it? I don’t ev-”

“Dave. Shut up.”

“Yea. Okay.” I shift awkwardly from foot to foot because I am nervous as fuck still.

Then there is a soft moan that I recognize from his nightmares and I find myself halfway across the room before I realize it. I hope I didn’t shove Rose out of the way too hard. He is tucked into a mound of blankets on the couch. I vault over the back and scoop him up against me. That whine continues for a moment before settling into a soft safe sigh.

"He must have fallen into a nap," Rose offers as explanation.

"Get out. Whoever is here get out.” All of my protective instincts are going off. Shit. John is not alright and it’s my fault. Fuck. I promise to make it better somehow.

"We just want to help. He's hurting, Dave."

"And it's killing me. Now get out." I curl around him and tuck my head against him. I can already feel him relaxing. It breaks my heart. I wasn’t here. I wasn’t here when he needed me. I know how that feels, damn it.

I hear the door open and close with people shuffling out. Beyond Rose, I have no idea who else was here.

I murmur softly into the crown of his head, his dark hair tickling my lips. I come up with any and every soothing phrase I can think of and I can feel the nightmare slipping away from him. When I am sure he is completely at peace, I release him just a little to get into a more comfortable position for the two of us.

* * *

“Dave?”

My eyes snap open. Shit. When did I close them?

“I’m right here.”

“I’m so sorry.” Tears are welling up in his eyes and falling faster than I can wipe them away.

“So am I, John. I am so sorry.” We are both a sobbing mess, holding onto each other. Holding each other together.

When the tears stop flowing as fast and hard and the sobs die down to little hiccups, John turns his head up to me. I can see the conflict in his eyes that he wants to kiss me and gog I want to kiss him too but there is stuff that we have to work through first. So to distract him from that idea I went with the worst opening line to an argument ever.

“I told you so.” And yep, that conflict shifts from wanting to kiss me to a conflict between wanting to cry or laugh. He does neither as he collects himself to speak.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so fucking oblivious to what was going on. I am sorry for not listening to you. I am sorry for being the number one jerkwad in this universe. I am sorry for hurting you. I am just so sorry.”

“It wasn’t all your fault.”

“No, but that doesn’t excuse me. We had enough warning signs that I just ignored. I’ve been such an asshole and a brat. I thought it was just headaches but you were always so sweet to me and how do I repay you? I ignore you. I hit you. I ki-” My hand clamps down over his mouth out of reflex.

“That’s all true and now we know why.”

“Because I am an idiot and an asshole.”

“Yes you are.” I pull him close and kiss him on the top of his head, a small compromise I allow myself. He stays there. His hand flexes against my chest, gripping my shirt. It’s a nervous reaction to something in his head. He has something to say and he doesn’t think I’ll like it. “John. We need to be fully honest here if we are going to fix this, and yes I want to fix this. I have been trying to figure out what’s been wrong for a while now and now that I know what it was, I can finally do something about it. So get everything onto the table so we can see the whole big picture.”

It takes him a moment more before he finally decides to put it out there. "You said you were gonna chase me to the ends of the earth."

Oh. It hits me hard. But I do have some failings that I need to address as well, I guess. "I can't chase you if you are sitting in front of me," I reply softly.

"Was it so convincing that you really gave up on me?"

It’s my turn to take a moment. "Well after a month of warning and being brushed off, what else was I to assume. I checked out a lot of the angles that I could come up with. Even talked psychic manipulation with Serket. What was left for me to think?" I took a deep breath to calm the shuddering my body started. “I think I broke when I walked in on... that. I reacted more than thought anything out. My body kept moving and my mind when dead. Running away was really stupid of me, but fucking hell that hurt.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Loving you is like loving the wind.” I continue on. “I love watching you soar with happiness. You drive blustering forward through life. I’ll help you out of your low stormy periods until that light in your blue eyes come back. I’ll even suffer those doldrums where there is nothing but blank space in your head.” I paused, swallowing hard. “But when those gales of yours turn on me and push against me and fight me, it’s hard just to batten down the hatches and endure the hurricane especially when that hurricane is smiling and holding his hand out to me like nothing is wrong even when I am telling you that you are tearing me apart. I understand that loving you is like loving the wind. And it’s not easy.”

“Love isn’t easy. I don’t think it is supposed to be.”

“No. But betrayal doesn’t help.” I feel him cringe down on himself. “I understand what happened. I understand but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I can forgive you for your part in it. I won’t ever forgive her hers. But it still hurts. I felt like I was trying to hold onto what I haven’t got. It’s hard to let you go. I still feel shattered.”

“I feel that too. I feel used, manipulated, violated. I hurt because I hurt you. I know I was screaming in my head when I saw you standing there with the records. But there was so much noise in my head. It was like I was wrapped up in cotton, muffled and immobile. So much was left unsaid. Now I know that was her. But the fact is that I let her build that up in me. I can still feel some of it. The others have been helping but I feel... There are so many good memories that are still fuzzy in my head. From before the game. From the game. From after the game. She messed with so much. I feel so broken.”

“I know. I can’t do this again though. I don’t want to have to be waiting for the end.” I feel him react to that phrase and I stroke his hair with my fingers to calm him down and reassure him. “This is not the end, but this isn’t the beginning either. This is a chance to redo.  We can pick up the pieces and start them back together together though.” I can feel him smile slightly into my shirt at the reference. He remembers that moment. “Both of us aren’t okay right now. But would you be willing to fix it with me?”

“Yes, of course yes. I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too, John.” Finally I use a hand to tilt his head up and kiss him.

Wet cheeks brush against each other as we push together, wanting more. Lips slide as we tilt our heads for a better angle, for better contact. It’s messy and complicated but damn it feels right. It feels good to kiss him again. My heart shudders as I kiss away his sobs, as I thumb his tears away, as he kisses mine off of my cheeks. We are both broken but we know we’ll rebuild together. We just hold each other on the couch surrounded by a nest of blankets. Soft squeezes and murmurs between each other. ‘I love you’s and ‘I’m sorry’s drop from our mouths into shirts or onto hair or against ears. We are simply a sloppy pile of emotions as we comfort each other.

Eventually reality intrudes as my stomach grumbles rather loudly, protesting the lack of food.

“Have you eaten today?”

“No. Have you?”

“Probably not.”

“Probably?”

“Been a little out of it recently.”

“Right. Okay. We need food.”

* * *

We are doing better. We are taking it slow. But there are still certain things that trigger both of us. I go numb sometimes and at others I just cry without knowing it. John has nightmares every night. He’s forgotten some stuff too. We talk about everything in the evenings. Well I talk. He lets me ramble on about before the game, stuff that happened in the game, after the game, life in general. It helps him piece together the memories that she tried to shred, move, and change.

Speaking of her. Her trial is in a couple of days. I am going in for testimony over the behavioral changes I recognized in John. Thankfully I won’t have to do much because of that confession that Megido pulled from the bitch. I just have to not screw up. Pyrope has been coaching me on what to say so there is little chance for that to happen. But knowing my luck...

Homebase is actually kinda full right now with Team Charge, the Scourge Sisters, and Rose staying there at once. Maryam is still at fashion school and couldn’t join the party. Harley also sent her regrets via webcam. Ampora stuck around for a while before returning to hanging out with Peixes. I gave him sincere thanks for finding me and for bringing me home. I also sent gratitude to AR, Dirk, Captor, Roxy, and everyone else who looked for me. I’ll eat my crow humbly.

Speaking with Rose was an odd combination of comforting hugs and tongue lashings. My reaction apparently hit her hard. And my reaction to her reaction wasn’t helpful. But at the same time she’s apologizing for not understanding what that cloudy feeling around John really was. Hindsight is twenty twenty I joke with her. She’s also been doing more official therapy with John, having Nitram help out too since he personally understands the side effects of mind manipulation.

* * *

The trial was yesterday. I got the see the bitch stand for her crime. It was a little harsher than Earth trials but not nearly as bloody as Alternian according to Pyrope. She was allowed to contest my testimony through combat. The rules being that the testimony of whoever leaves the arena victorious will be considered true but I can’t actually kill her and I have to cease attacks when she yields.

The entire prosecution smirked when she decided to contest the “skinny assed musician punk” who is “just jealous over her boyfriend.” Wow, someone is delusional. In a couple years I’ll have to give John grief over letting that bitch out of all people pull this stunt.

When we stepped into the arena, she scoffed at my broadsword. I didn’t say anything when she pulled out that chain whip. I mean, do I really need to comment on how overly obnoxious and complicated of a weapon that is. Like holy fuck. And she was just grinning over there like this was going to be the easiest thing of her life.

Bro taught me everything I needed to know for this fight. I’m pretty sure she would have begged for the yield after the first three hits if I had given her a chance to fucking breathe. I knew every trick in the book to keep her moving, unstable, off balanced, unable to say more that the first letter of a word while nailing her with non-permanent injuries. Pyrope and I fucking memorized the rule books on testimony contests. The bitch had three ways to get out of this. Pass out from pain, get knocked out of the arena, or fully say, “I yield the contest.”

I enjoyed wiping that expression off of her face. The arena was huge compared to the Houston apartment roof. She honestly didn’t get more than a syllable out at a time and most of them were garbled grunts of pain that could hardly be construed as a statement. The bitch lasted three hours and sixteen minutes before blacking out.

* * *

I missed the gig at the club, but the manager has decided to give me another chance with all of the circumstances around what happened. She’s a real sweetheart who really likes my work. The next show that I put on went slightly better than the first. John stayed up in the booth with me except to grab some drinks for the two of us. The manager informed us that the line to the club was nearly wrapped around the block. She was probably exaggerating but I have my pick of the Friday and Saturday shows. Whichever day I’m not playing is dedicated to date night with John.

We go on small dates that are reminiscent of how we started it that day in spring. It feels like those first few weeks again with less horniness to repress and more tears. (It’s a good thing that she is in jail behind enough walls and guards that I can’t reach her.) It’s not that we don’t feel passionately towards each other. I still want to show him how much I absolutely love him with every kiss, embrace, caress, touch, and I want to give him everything, but then something comes up and reminds us what happened and it ruins the mood. Sometimes it feels like he is holding himself back. It’s from some weird sense of punishment I think. He doesn’t believe that he deserves me or something. (And I get dark thoughts that whisper he doesn’t. (and even darker ones that says that I don’t deserve him and that it’s only a matter of time before he leaves again.)) I have to fight him to get him out of these mood and we usually end up in tears again. I hate it.

Though I do feel like we are actually making progress towards fixing this. There are definite improvements. He didn’t have a nightmare last night. He takes me seriously and lets me ramble on with my marathon metaphors. The fact that I can come up with metaphors is a good sign too. And not all of our make out sessions end up in tears. (I’m still scared to let myself be happy.) I love my idiot asshole so damn much.


	45. Chapter 45

“Hey Dave?” John has been wandering around the apartment for about fifteen minutes now. I was wondering when he was going to get around to it.

“Sup, babe.”

“Can I take you out to dinner tonight?”

“Sure, I don’t have any other plans.”

“Okay. I’ll pick you up at seven. See you then.”

“How fancy do I have to be?”

“Just look nice,” he calls out from the door.

“But I always look nice,” I say to myself. Sighing, I push myself up from the couch and head to my room to get ‘nice’ for my apparent date in two hours. (He’s been feeling better recently.)

* * *

Being the master of time, I pace myself down the thirteen flights of stairs to open the lobby doors at exactly seven o’clock. I am instantly struck by a reverse deja vu as I find John leaning up against the car with his arm crossed in front of him, holding something in his right hand. He is dressed differently from when he left the apartment earlier. He has a bright blue button down on underneath a black blazer. Including the back slacks and shiny black shoes, he looks good. I am tempted to brush away the drool with the back of my hand. The reversal of positions is enhanced by the darkness of his outfit and the lightness of mine. Pale khakis, white button down, red blazer, and my red converse high tops. He smiles ridiculously at me and I can’t help but smile back. (Smiling is good.) He unfolds his arms and hands me a white rose wrapped in red tissue paper.

“You did it wrong.” I take the flower from him with a quick kiss in exchange.

“I know. But I couldn’t find a blue rose. They apparently only exist photoshopped online. And I felt like a rose is more appropriate than a blue dyed carnation.”

“So where are we going?”

“Out.” He starts around for his side of the car after opening my door for me.

“Are we really doing this?” I ask him over the top of the car.

“We are making this happen,” he finished the way overused meme. It makes me smile anyways.

“I bet I’ve heard of the place before.”

“You are no fun sometimes.”

“I’m plenty of fun. Especially if you let me play with the fishies. I’ll even catch you the tastiest one,” I tease.

“No.” He reaches across the console and takes my hand, lacing our fingers together.

“Now who is being no fun?” I playfully give his a hand a squeeze.

* * *

The place looks the same as last time with the blue lit fish tanks lining the walls and counters around the dining room. John punches me in the arm when I lick my lips hungrily at the tank nearest to the maitre’d stand. When the host returns, John lets him know that we have a reservation under John Egbert.

“Alright, right this way.” The host grabs two menus and leads us across the restaurant to the same quiet corner. I note the two roses in red tissue paper in the center piece, incongruous with the rest of the decor in this place. He really put a lot of effort into tonight.

We both order delicious dishes and talk about our week, at least the small amount of time we didn’t spend together. Our semesters are wrapping up and winter break is approaching. We try to plan out what presents to get everyone for the holidays. I’m better at coming up with ideas but without John, I wouldn’t remember to actually follow through with my plans.

The waitress comes by with our check after creme brulee. (I want to kiss him for that taste again.) I let him get it without contest. “But I get the movie tickets right?” I ask with a cheesy smile.

“Um, I wasn’t planning on a movie tonight. I mean we can if you really want to, but...”

“No, let’s do whatever you had planned.” I’m definitely intrigued now that he is going off of the historical script. I pull out the two roses so that I remember them when we go.

“Yea. I think you’ll like it.”

* * *

I’m slightly confused when we end up back at the apartment, but if he has something planned then I’m cool with it. When am I not cool with it? (Don’t answer that brain. The evening is going so well.)

He parks in the lot and kisses me lightly as we walk across the lot to the lobby. Waves of nervousness are pouring over him but he’s smiling through it so I don’t ask him about it. I have three roses in one hand and am holding his with the other as we climb the stairs. No racing this time, but I start to get concerned (not nervous, Striders don’t get nervous) when we pass on by the thirteenth floor. The staircase opens onto the roof where there is a gorgeous view of the city all dressed up in her sparkling lights. It’s quiet up here as I instinctively cross the roof to the railing that has the best angle. John joins me a moment later as the sounds of a piano blend with the soft city sounds. I glance over my shoulder and see the music player over on the side.

John passes me three more white roses in red tissue paper to add to the single and pair from before. (These made it up the stairs in one piece.) He crosses his arms and leans against the railing next to me. I tip over and rest my head on his shoulder. Through the contact I can feel his nervousness as he twists his fingers together. (Dread tries to curl up in my stomach but no this was a happy good date.) I rearrange the half a dozen roses in my hands to where they are all grouped and held together by the tissue paper.

Absently I recognize the music is his. I’ve actually used the piece playing now before in some of my mixes. I like his music.

He fidgets a bit more before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling something out. He turns it over in his hands. If he keeps doing it, there is a chance he’s going to drop it off the side of the roof. But I’m not going to rush it; this is his thing.

It’s a bit chilly out here though. Now that winter has fully fallen. I breathe out of my mouth to see if I can see it. Just a little bit. Not enough to be a dragon yet. (There is an old memory in the back of my head of Bro pretending to be a dragon one abnormally cold winter morning. I was really young at the time. Might have even been before we started strifing.) I tuck my hands into my jacket and press a little closer to John as he is the only heat source on this roof.

The track switches to another song, still one of his.

“So...” he starts and then drops off. I wait for a while.

“So?” I prompt.

“So I want to make you a promise.” He pulls away from the railing, dislodging me from my warm spot damnit. He turns towards me with the small box held out to me. I take the box from him, my cold fingers brushing against his warms ones. (It’s not fair how he is still so warm.) I glance up at him. He has this nervous little smile playing over his lips. Back down to the box. It’s square, cubic really. Black with a leathery texture to it. Small enough to comfortably in my hands. I’m tempted to give it a shake but that’s probably not good form. The hinge bisects the cube. I run my fingers over the edges before gripping the top and slowly opening it.

Inside, tucked into a black velvet pillow are two matching silver rings. I stare at them for a second as my brain attempts to comprehend it. I look back up at him. I’m pretty sure my jaw is hanging open. He grin brightens a little bit but still has a nervous tinge to it.

“You said you didn’t want to be waiting for the end. I want to promise you that there will never be one. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine and I never want to forget it. With this I won't. I'll have it on my finger always. I'll play with it all the time. I'll always remember that you are much more than a roommate, more than a best friend even. You are my love, my lover, my heart, my future, my boyfriend, my fiance, and I am yours for all of time. There won't be any takebacks. None allowed."

I can't get my brain to figure out what to do next. I am torn between kissing him until our lips were bruised, ripping his clothes off and taking him right here, getting down on one knee and making it cheesy to the nth degree, shouting from the tops of my lungs that I love this man so fucking much, breaking down in another mess of sobbing tears and feelings... There are so many ways to express myself right now but my brain isn't functioning enough to send any signals to do any of that.

John finally finds mercy on me and takes the box from my hand, lifts one of the rings out, grabs my hand (still floating between us holding a phantom box), and slips it onto my ring finger. He does the same with the other ring onto his own hand since I still haven't moved. The box disappears to wherever the fuck it came from.

He looks up at me still looking at my hand hovering out there. "Did I... break you?" he asks quietly with a hint of laughter in his voice. I nod shallowly. "In a good way though, right?" I nod again. "Good." Suddenly my hand is knocked away and John is pulling me into a kiss. My lips find his upturned ones as his hand comes up to the back of my neck. My hands hit his jacket and slide under the stiff material to hang around his waist. Our heads tilt in opposite directions to find that perfect angle. He is still leading as a tongue slides across my lips, sweetly requesting entrance which I supply eagerly. I pull his hips toward mine. His body is flush against me. And it all feels good.

I kiss him passionately, nipping at his lips, sucking on his tongue. I kiss him sweetly, slowly, teasingly. His hand strokes the back of my neck, drawing moans that he eagerly swallows with more kisses. I shift from his lips to his jaw lines and neck with a wave of small kisses that lead up to his ear. Here I whisper in his ear a suggestion or two, emphasized by a grind of my hips on his. I then flashstep out of his arms, pausing only to grin at him from the roof door.

I basically float down the stairs to our floor. Once in the apartment I rush to my room and start shoving my stuff around, under the bed, into the closet, just out of sight. I dash back to the kitchen for the emergency candles (can never be too prepared, John likes to quote from his father). After finding safe places around my room, I light them all, bathing the room in a nice golden flickering glow. I tuck a bottle of lube handily by the bed and then strip out of my clothes. I lay down on the bed for a moment before leaping back up and lunging for the makeshift bouquet. The roses almost survived the night. I peel of the petals into a small pile on the comforter. Taking half of them, I make a trail leading from the front door to the bedroom door. The other half is scattered across the bed, the white looking nice against the red.

I lie down again and take a moment to admire the silver on my hand. I didn’t quite have the mental capacity to really look at it before. It has three parts to it; an upper band, a lower band, and a center area with six small gears whose teeth are connected to the insides of the upper and lower bands. I give the upper band an experimental twist and watch in amazement as everything rotates in sync. Now I understood what John meant by playing with it. The gears were an obvious reference to LOHAC and my symbol for time. It’s brilliant really (I wonder who helped him pick it out).

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the front door open. I listen to him pause at the door, probably taking off his shoes. I hear the soft thump of him dropping the music player on the kitchen table. I can imagine his smile at the rose petals, but I don’t have to imagine long as he’s then standing there at my door. He softly laughs at the scene I’ve presented him because yes, it’s cheesy as they come but no one can argue the romantic qualities of rose petals and candles.

He crosses the room, shrugging out of the black jacket. I note absently that he is barefoot. He slowly unbuttons his blue shirt, taking his time to unbutton the cuffs. He flips open this belt and flicks it out of the loops. He runs his palms down his thighs which only emphasizes what’s waiting underneath. I encourage him to continue by licking my lips. He teasingly undoes his pants, gradually pulling his zipper down until I am tempted to go over there and do it myself. He drops his pants and steps out of the black material. He finally pushes the shirt off of his shoulders and tosses it to the side. His boxers are tented nicely. He tucks his thumbs into the waistband but pauses there until I look up at his smirking sexy face. Only then does he slowly push the last piece of fabric down. I sigh happily at the sight, drinking in his handsome features and obvious desire.

I beckon him onto the bed with a curled finger and a smile. After dropping his glasses onto the nightstand, he complies, lying down alongside me. I pull on his shoulder to roll him onto his side to face me and resume kissing him. I keep it languid and soft. Our hands slowly roam over each other’s bodies as if relearning each plane and curve. My hand comes up to cheek as I suck lightly on his lower lip. I pull back slightly and stare into those blue blue blue eyes dark with lust and bright with love. He smiles at me and leans in for another kiss, pushing me onto my back and following me down. In the shift of positions one of his legs slips between mine, his thigh sliding against me in a way that makes me moan at the friction. He continues to kiss me leisurely, almost lazily as his lips move from mine down to the side of my neck. He pauses there to worry the skin over my pulse point with his tongue and light nips of his teeth. He continues down with a flurry of kisses that drape over my collar bone. He leaves a trail of warmth as he works his way across and further down my chest. He has to push up and sit back as he goes, his hands gliding down my sides.

I let my head fall back and I close my eyes to better savor the sensations of his lips and fingertips against me. His hands pause at my hips as his cheek brushes against the head of my cock. I am not expecting the sensation of his tongue that slides up the underside of my cock and I gasp loudly. My eyes snap open and I look down at him just in time to catch him grin at me before taking me into his mouth. Holy fuck. I moan unabashedly as he goes down on me. The wet heat of his mouth feels wonderful and I am gripping the comforter hard to restrain myself from bucking my hips up to get more of it. Oh fuck. I know I am losing coherency as a litany of curses and praises fall out of my mouth around moans. His tongue swirls around the tip as his lips press against the shaft. I lose myself in the sensations when he starts bobbing up and down. I feel like I am coming apart at the seams and that the entire world only consists of this bed and his heat. Fuck. What the fuck did I do right to get this kind of treatment?

He pulls off of me for a moment. “You loved me, you forgave me, and you continue to love me.”

Shit. “I didn’t mean to ask that out loud.”

“I’ll take that as indication that I’m doing this well.” He goes back to work, making me moan sharply. One of my hands buries itself into his thick dark hair. This feels so fucking good. Pleasure curls up in my core as his mouth slides over the top part of my length. The hot texture of his tongue swirls over me, teasing the head. When he figures out to add suction to his skill set I gasp loudly and start pulling him off as it gets close to too much.

“John, John, John, please stop,” I beg.

I sigh in relief when he does. “Was I doing something wrong?”

Good lord I love this man. “No. You were doing it too well.” He smiles cheekily at me and I swear I can see his thoughts about going back at it. “We can continue that another time if you like but right now, I need something else.” He lets me pull him back up to me to kiss him deeply. I use the break to try to calm myself, but damn, it’s difficult to do with him being so fucking sexy.

“And what exactly do you need, Dave?” I love his voice when it gets that deep rumble.

“I want you to make love to me.” My cheeks feel a little hot as such a cheesy request but he seems to appreciate it based on how big his smile is.

I reach behind me, grab the bottle of lube, and pass it to him. He cracks it open and pours some onto his fingers. He actually takes the time to warm it up before reaching down to apply it to me. Slowly, patiently, teasingly he works his fingers inside me to stretch me out. My hands brush along his shoulder, back, sides, neck, hair, always touching him, always in contact. Soft murmurs and quiet sighs pass between us. I can’t help but admire how handsome he looks in the flickering candlelight. My heart aches in happiness that we can be this close again, but I don’t to mention it to him in case he stops. I’ll go crazy if he stops here.

We both feel the shift when my body relaxes around his three fingers. He slips his hand out, slicks himself up, and then lines our bodies together. He kisses me sweetly as he pushes and slides into me. My legs wrap around his waist. Our hands tangle themselves together. He rests his forehead against mine, dropping kisses with abandon. His pace is slow and languid as his hips rock back and forth. He draws soft moans from me with every deep stroke that fills me.

The build-up of pleasure at my core is slow as we stretch the encounter out. But this is definitely fulfilling my request. I don’t think we’ve had sweeter love making than this. My hand comes up and cups his cheek. He leans against it, closing his eyes briefly.

“I love you. I love you so much, John.”

Those blue eyes open and it takes my breath away. There is so much obvious love in them. I kiss away his next words because they are overly redundant if he is going to look at me like that. He tries to pull away to get those words out, but I keep him close with a hand on the back of his neck. He gets a snippet of a word out here and there between kisses but I just keep at it.

“Da- ve- st- ple- Da- ser- ous- ly- Da- ve-”

“No,” I murmur back to him. I feel him grin against my lips and I start grinning back but I don’t stop kissing him, I can’t stop kissing him.

His free hand snakes around the back of my shoulder and grips the back of my hair so that I can’t follow up the next time he pulls away.

“You insufferable prick.”

“I think you suffer me just fine.”

“Can’t help it when I love you this much. Hah. Said it.” He smiles brightly down at me.

“Fine you win.” Then suddenly in a feat requiring hammer arm strength, luck, and slight acrobatic maneuvers that I really don’t want to think too hard about, I find myself sitting up in his lap. His legs are crossed underneath me and mine are wrapped around his hips. Because of the height differences I find myself towering over him, but from his grin it doesn’t seem like he minds. I have to arch my back a little to kiss his face as he tilts his head back and that causes my hips to roll against him deliciously. His lips muffle my moans but that’s okay as his hands find my waist and guide my movements to draw out more. My arms rest across his shoulders as we work to keep a nice slow pace. His movements are limited so he utilizes his hands and control over me to lead my tempo.

“You should have brought the music player in here,” I take a moment away from his lips to breathe. “Would have fit the romantic theme.”

“I can always go get it now,” he teases.

“Nope.” I tighten my arms around him. “You are much too busy. We’ll have to do it another time.”

“Sounds fine by me. I want to do this often.”

“You can drive me crazy whenever you feel like, John. That’ll be my end to the promise,” I tell him as I hold up the ring on my finger.

“Twenty four seven access to great sex in return for undying love. I think I’m getting a bargain here.”

“Well, if you dig deep enough in the scratch n dent bargain bin you are bound to find somethi-” My voice catches in my throat as he finds a particularly pleasurable angle to slide me along.

“I think I’ve found what I want.” When he does it again I arch up against him, my head dropping back. He does it again and again at this steady rocking until it feels like the pressure at my core is going to explode but the gentleness of the pace won’t let me and the sensuality of his body against mine is pushing to make me fall apart into pieces. I gasp and moan as he works me, as he plays me with those hands. His breath against my chest, his lips against my throat, his murmurings against my skin all work to undo me. I cling to him as he is the only the last tangible thing in the room in my world right now. I bury my hands in his hair, drawing him against me despite the fact there is no room between us. He leads me right to the edge but holds me there, won’t let me fall over.

“John,” I sob, “Please, please. John.”

A hand slides up my back, making me shiver in delight. It pushes me forward to that my head falls onto his shoulder. Our hips still haven’t stopped that slow dance that is driving me mad. I can feel myself twitch against his conducting hand but he holds me tight and guides me to his set tempo.

“John, oh John.”

“Dave,” he sounds like a bass guitar dipped in silky dark chocolate. Somewhere in the back of my brain there is a complaint that the metaphor makes no sense but at the same time perfectly describes that deep rumbling when he moans my name like that. My whole body shivers at that.

“John,” I moan back at him almost directly into his ear and I feel his response to it.

“I love you,” he whispers softly to me like it’s his most precious secret. That’s what tips me over the edge and I fall apart completely, cumming in his lap, holding onto him as my body shudders, gasping as I lose myself to John. Through the crashing pleasure I feel him hold onto me just as tightly and pull me down against him as he finds his own release generating another wave of bliss that swamps me.

We hold each other as we slowly come back down. Soft murmurs and softer kisses pass between us. Gentle moans are shared as our bodies quiver and shudder from aftershocks of pleasure. Hands slide over heated skin. I feel his racing pulse and panting breath as I mouth along his neck, breathing just as hard and I am pretty sure we share a heart as this point. I catch his lazy smile with my fingertips as I brush over his face. He pets my hair and I lean into the touch. Everything is right in the world and it’s beautiful.

“I love you, Dave.”

“I love you, John.”

****

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Gratuitous Author’s Notes. Feel free to ignore.
> 
> I hope that last chapter gave all of you cavities and diabetes.  
> I’ve been describing Waiting for the End as the project that got away from me. I didn’t know I could write this much. I’ve been trying to write originals at this volume for years. The length was inspired by a couple fic authors I have deeply enjoyed reading across fandoms. Two notable ones are wittyy_name (Homestuck on AO3) and Marsh of Sleep (Soul Eater on FF). Their stories are huge and so well written. The average published book nowadays also is around a 100K word count. I am extremely happy with WftE’s length in that light.  
> In general I’ve used WftE to push my writing. Dave is probably the closest mind set to myself so coming up with his actions were fairly easy, but I don’t do very well with the rambling metaphorical bullshit that Hussie has perfected for Dave in Homestuck. But hey, I tried? By using Homestuck character, I have to push myself to make them feel right. I tend to make my own characters too perfect, not flawed enough. Hussie creates his characters to where we love them for their flaws. I need to create with that in mind.  
> Just as a side note, I’ve written myself into this story a lot. Like I really should be ashamed but I’m not. I think I am awesome (not really). For those interested, I modeled Prynne’s body type after myself (but I swear I am not as obnoxious or evil as her) and split my kinks between Dave and John. I really shouldn’t be inserting this in here...  
> I also used Hussie’s brilliant retroactive foreshadowing trick to try to enhance my writing. I can’t ever achieve his level but I feel like I’ve done a lot here. I don’t know if it was too much (read: please let me know if I am overdoing it) but I really enjoy using repetitive elements and the idea that I wrote something in there for a specific reason. That reason could be to enhance the mood, to draw the reader in, to guide the reader into a certain correct or red herring thought pattern, or to be used later to tie events together. I think using elements of the past to shape the current point in the story makes it stronger. (Again, if you disagree PLEASE give me your argument, I’d love to hear what you have to say.) To me, this allows me to build up to a bigger event without disregarding the previous events and without making it to serial. It’s as if I had the ending already in mind! (Trust me, I didn’t.) I also loved throwing in little bits of canon memes in there. I probably overused Dave’s/Sweet Bro’s/Hella Jeff’s “We’re doing this, we’re making this happen” but hey, it’s a meme, it’s supposed to be overused.  
> I understand I have a strange sense of humor but I hope you guys enjoy the little stuff I put in there. It amuses me to write them. I’m usually grinning like an idiot when I write or read them.  
> I might have used too much of the namesake song in chapter 44 but honestly I named the work before even having a connection between the song and the story, and when I finally listened with purpose to the song, it worked perfectly there.  
> Writing a relationship based story was also a new thing for me. I am a huge fan of epic stories usually in the fantasy or science fiction realms with action. The more action the better. I love B-rated movies and hate chick flicks. So doing a relationship story was different for me. I tried to avoid a lot of what drives me nuts in chick flicks (at least on Dave’s end, I ended up using some of them for John’s actions, the asshole). Also as much as I enjoy the smut stories that I read all over the place, it always irks me slightly when the pairing goes from meeting for the first time or a completely platonic relationship to sex within five minutes. (Please ignore Journada Del Muerto. It does exactly this. Shit.) I really enjoy actual relationship building or smut in pre-established relationships. I feel that it is much stronger that way. *Shrugs* Personal opinion there. (As I ignore my blatant hypocritical Halloween story.)  
> Thanks to anyone who has read this far. I love you. Platonically for the most part.  
> A shout out to my best friend who helped me out with outfits for the characters and other little details. I hope you never ever read this. If you do... I’m sorry?  
> As always, I’ll take any criticism that you guys want to throw my way. I probably won’t go back and apply it to WftE but I’ll be writing a lot more and I’ll try to keep it in mind for future works. Speaking of future works, I have a collection of short one shots of other couples in the WftE-verse under the title In Between.  
> Follow me on Tumblr (aeacustero) for other updates, my original stories, and art. Or for just shits and giggles. As always, I am open for conversation and would love to talk to people.  
> (Good lord, how much did I just write for an Author’s Notes. Jegus. Yes I say that in real life now too...)


End file.
